Tag: the work as meditation

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It’d be better to be there now. Is that absolutely true?

a whole year of practicing inquiry, learning to facilitate others, get a hand-up, starts now

Anything that’s ever been a huge accomplishment, a major transformation, a profound turnaround in most humans’ lives….has not come along in an instant.

Almost never.

Sure, for me there have been light-bulb awakening moments when I suddenly see something I didn’t before.
Yes, there have been deep life-altering conversations, or wisdom I bumped into from others, stories I heard, something inspirational I witnessed….

….but never some medicine that skyrocketed me out of myself into a whole new existence where what was previously difficult no longer existed in 1 second flat.

Never have I successfully wiped out all suffering around some issue in one fell swoop.

There has not been a finger-snap and VOILA….change.

No super pill, no wild immediate shift, no shocking moment- gasping enlightenment that eliminated all suffering or stress.

I once heard someone ask Byron Katie this question: “I want to be like you! I want to have a huge awakening and no longer have this depression and anxiety! What can I do?!”

Katie paused a moment and said: “you’ve been spared”.

What?

When our relationships are not working well, or falling apart, when we feel depressed and shut down, when we’re angry and tired, when we’re addicted and stuck….

….then sometimes all we want is someone to slap us and wake us up out of the nightmare or tell us what to do or think or just leave ourselves behind and become someone else instead.

But do we really want it that way?

The biggest changes I’ve ever experienced that have been permanent, unwavering, and solid have been made slowly but surely. And I’ve remained here, a part of it all.

One step at a time.

One day at a time.

There’s actually a kindness and wisdom to this way.

A flower unfolds one petal at a time, and it’s not abrupt.

Katie went on to speak about reality unfolding just right for each one of us, and that self-inquiry is a practice of meditation offering us the gift of awareness….right on time.

The Tao Te Ching #15 (translated by Katie’s husband Stephen Mitchell) says this:

The ancient Masters were profound and subtle.
Their wisdom was unfathomable.
There is no way to describe it;
all we can describe is their appearance.
They were careful as someone crossing an iced-over stream.
Alert as a warrior in enemy territory.
Courteous as a guest.
Fluid as melting ice.
Shapeable as a block of wood.
Receptive as a valley.
Clear as a glass of water.
Do you have the patience to wait til your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving tll the right action arises by itself?
The Master doesn’t seek fulfillment.
Not seeking, not expecting, she is present, and can welcome all things.

To practice The Work regularly, steadily, is to naturally become careful, alert, courteous, fluid, shapeable, receptive, and clear. Waiting until right action arises by itself.

Which is why in Year of Inquiry we gather for an entire year….patiently (or not) working with our thinking, feeling and being human with what we’ve encountered.

Who knows what can happen as we ask and answer the four questions for an entire year, in the company of our small group of friends all going on this amazing adventure together?

Painful beliefs dissolve, our stories become lighter, our humor returns, our capacity to be our true selves becomes easier and easier. Relationships in our lives change, sometimes massively.

One moment at a time.

We look back and say “Wow”.

This brilliant journey started with the first time I asked “is it true?”

And now look.

If you’re wanting to address stress, worry, fear, a difficult relationship, some kind of change you feel nervous about, feeling like a failure, scarcity, compulsive behavior, an unexpected disappointment, the angst of a busy mind….

….then join us in a Year of Inquiry where you’ll do The Work of Byron Katie steadily, regularly, in a group online every week, with the same supportive people, and even in retreats (optional for those who can travel). This is our 8th group.

Three spaces left.

The Work does not promise instant transformation. It’s better than that. You’re at the top of the mountain because you climbed the mountain.

The journey IS the way.

Read about it here, and sign up soon so you don’t miss a thing. We’ll be underway and into it by the end of this month, and doors will close.

Let’s bring The Work on home in our lives as a regular practice. It’s where the rubber meets the road, and what we’re seeking becomes possible.

“Happiness is not a goal, it is a by-product.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Much love,
Grace

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The Tortoise and The Hare and The Work of Byron Katie

tortoise wins in self-inquiry
              tortoise wins in self-inquiry

Everyone knows the tale of the tortoise and the hare.

The hare is insane fast, like 800 times faster than the ridiculously slow tortoise.

This is not even a real race, says the hare. That guy is soooo slow he’s a retard! I am so fast, I can stop and party, visit other countries, and go way off course and still WIN.

Right?

And we all know the end of the story.

Sometimes, the self-centered mind–the energy of “thinking” about me–can be like that hare.

This past week the Year of Inquiry (YOI) groups met together again. It was the first week of the new month.

When it’s the first week of the month, we begin a brand new topic in YOI (Month 6 is Love Relationships)….

….I walk everyone through finding a specific situation to bring to inquiry, and to write out a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet very slowly, like a guided meditation.

I love filling out a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet like this, during the call.

It feels so gentle, thorough, and kind. We look carefully, really giving each other quiet space–and the power of the group energy doing it together.

It’s weird, though, how HARD it can be to fill out a JYN all by yourself, in the middle of your busy life.

Even though you’re actually mulling over an incident, or a troubling moment with someone, or an exchange that bothered you….

….and even though you know there’s this thing called The Work where you can step into a deep inquiry and contemplate WHY something’s bugging you….

….you ignore it, or let it float there above your head calling for attention, or perhaps you think of it in the middle of the night and wake up, now that you slowed down for five minutes.

Well, at least that’s what it’s like for me sometimes STILL.

I don’t even want to talk about what it was like for me when I first started doing The Work.

I wanted the fast version all the time.

Can’t I just turn concepts around in my head while driving my car?

Have you noticed how well that works?

Sometimes it might offer something really curious and interesting, but not exactly life-altering realization.

Unfortunately, no.

The only way I’ve found deep inner awareness through doing The Work is to begin with writing out that JYN.

Judge the HELL out of that person.

It’s kind of refreshing actually.

You get to let your little brat, or your scared controller, or your mousy victim out and let that voice in you speak for once and be taken somewhat seriously.

Why is that voice there? What does it really want? What’s it afraid of? What does it think should or shouldn’t be happening? What does it need in order to be happy?

Over time, the more I look directly, the more compassion and kindness I have towards myself.

So if you have a repetitive, troubling, nagging, irritating experience with someone in your life, and you’ve “tried” doing The Work….here’s what you could do:

Sit down quietly and write for thirty minutes or more, answering every question in the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet.

Then pick the ones that seem to have the most charge, or to sum it up the very best, or hit the nail on the head.

Re-write the JYN with only those fewer concepts on it, so it’s more manageable.

The start at the top.

Is it true?

Keep going. You may find freedom on the other side of The Work.

And what could be better than a free, open, wild, peaceful mind?

“First you’ll put your thoughts on paper…then one-by-one put each statement on the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet up against the four questions, and then turn around the statement you’re working on. Throughout this process, explore being open to possibilities beyond what you think you know. There’s nothing more exciting than discovering the don’t-know mind. It’s like diving. Keep asking the questions and wait.” ~ Byron Katie

Simple, but not always easy.

If you’ve been frustrated with your self-inquiry, or notice something repeating itself incessantly….

….slooooooowwwwwww down.

(Did you hear my voice getting very low like a digital recording turning into a crazy slow sound? Well, do that with your thinking).

Tortoise wins the race.

Every time.

Love, Grace

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How To Practice The Work As Meditation

The first time I ever meditated, it partially drove me crazy and partially thrilled me.

I had to set the alarm to meditate 15 minutes from start to finish, because before using the alarm, I would keep peeking at the clock to see how much time had gone by.

I took a meditation class about 25 years ago. I only showed up once.

And yet, I was quite interested. Someone gave me a book about meditation and its wonders.

I wasn’t sure what the fuss was all about….but I was still curious.

I would decide “I’m going to meditate every morning!” and strangely, never do it. Or do it for a few days, then never again.

It seemed like it would pop right out of my mind, or get stuffed under the rug because other things were more important…like getting kids to school.

I knew I needed support. Just to DO it!

So I registered again for another meditation class, and this time, I went every single week. We meditated for about 30 minutes every time in silence. I always closed my eyes and sat with my classmates in the circle, holding quite still.

I rarely meditated in between classes, but oh, that time in silence during class was peaceful, sometimes full of thinking, curious and frustrating all at once.

After the class was over, can you guess how often I meditated?

Yah, you got it.

Never.

A friend of mine at a party said she was going on a silent meditation retreat. We had our young children, playing in the grass around our feet.

I felt envious.

Dang…I still want to meditate!

I signed up for a different class, and then a retreat with the same teacher where we meditated a whole lot, for two-hour silent sessions several times a day for five days.

After that, for quite some time I meditated an hour a day by myself at home, every morning.

I didn’t question it, or get distracted, or decide it wasn’t important. I never missed my morning sitting.

It’s funny how something interesting and desired can be “hard” to practice if it’s new.

Like a new habit, one day it becomes vital to you. Instead of just thinking about doing it, you do it.

Then you get to see how it really works for YOU. You’re not doing it because you should, or other people think you should, or it’s the right thing to do.

You’re doing it because you love doing it, it fits who you are.

This same thing happened to me with doing The Work of Byron Katie.

At the beginning, after reading Loving What Is….I got up and walked away from my couch after five minutes of trying to answer the questions in a notebook.

There was laundry to do! I don’t have time for this!

Then I went to one evening lecture by Byron Katie in my home town. Then I signed up for a weekend workshop with Katie.

Even though I loved reading Loving What Is and doing The Work in those sessions with Katie, I never seemed to sit down and do it on my own at home.

I finally went to The School for The Work…there wasn’t anyone else offering classes in The Work that I knew of in my city, or practice sessions in The Work (this was almost ten years ago).

The School lasts 9 days, and you do The Work every single day, all day long, with various exercises to help identify your thoughts and investigate your stressful beliefs.

Finally, by doing The Work, I really got the power of The Work.

And guess what happened after I went to The School?

I’d find myself upset, sad, frightened and remember to do The Work…..but not always take the full amount of time out to complete it.

The only way I kept going with it, steadily, was to find partners who would facilitate me and I would facilitate them.

We made appointments.

I had one wonderful partner for two years, every single Monday, and we did The Work for nearly two hours every time we traded facilitations.

The Work, just like meditation (it is actually a form of meditation on the mind and what its doing) is not so easy to begin to do as a practice, if you’re busy living a full life like so many people are.

You may need to get the hang of it before it sticks.

You may need to schedule it in as a top priority, right into your calendar, so you make the time to do it.

That’s what Summer Camp for The Mind is for.

It’s an easy way to begin putting The Work into your schedule, for a fraction of the cost of a full course or individual sessions.

It’s a way to pick a time, just two days per month are necessary (but more are available for no extra charge if you want them).

You call in at the appointed time, for 90 minutes, and the group does The Work.

I’ll facilitate you. You don’t have to do it “right” or know anything fancy.

Experienced people and beginners will all be there, everyone is welcome.

You’ll pick a situation you’ve found uncomfortable, or terrifying, and write a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet on it (you’ll learn separately all about how to fill this out if you don’t know already) and then we’ll practice The Work.

Like meditation, all you need is willingness, an eagerness to understand yourself, and an open mind.

If I could do this, anyone can. You can too. You can question your mind and change your world.

June Summer Camp starts in two days.

You’ll join an online forum immediately (I’ll set you up in a googlegroup) and then live calls will begin on Monday.

You pick your favorite call-in group: (Monday 4 pm, Tuesday 8 am, or Thursday 9:30 am).

Each group is limited to 20 people maximum live participants. But you can listen to all the groups, all three days, at any time if you are enrolled in Summer Camp.

You only pay $97 for one whole month.

The savings to facilitated inquiry in this unique Summer Camp format is extensive. Normal classes are $395 for two months, and the equivalent fee for solo sessions would be far more.

If you’re ready to give The Work more time in your life in a light, easy way through the summer (like camp!) then Join Me.

Let’s do this together.

I can’t wait to meet you.

To sign up now for June, click here: undefined

To learn more about it, click HERE.

“Do The Work for breakfast” ~ Byron Katie

Much love, Grace

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Breitenbush Sold Out (With One Exception)

Wow, Breitenbush Annual Retreat in The Work of Byron Katie is FULL….except for people who want to stay in a deluxe tent platform open-air space, or a dorm.

The pros? Incredibly inexpensive, you still get all those exquisite healthy meals, access to all the hotsprings natural pools, and of course, you’ll attend our deep sessions in The Work to Declare Peace.

The cons? You bring your sleeping bag and set yourself up like someone going on a spirit quest walkabout in the deep forest. With hotsprings nearby, and showers heated by the springs.

If that’s for you, call Breitenbush soon and join our awesome group taking the deep sea dive into the internal world of inquiry, questioning all your painful stories, and turning your mind inside out (in a good way) by contemplating what is really true for you.

That last spots will go very soon. If you have special questions about anything Breitenbush, call me (206-650-1230). I can’t answer every logistical thing because Breitenbush does all the registration and administrative stuff. But I can tell you of my experience.

Funny, but that’s all any of us can ever really do if we’ve visited somewhere and someone else asks to know what it was like.

Including the world of freedom from stress, sadness, anger or pain. The peace found beyond believing what you think.

Last year, before I went to Bali with my husband on our honeymoon, I read about Bali, I heard from people who had been to Bali, I saw pictures of Bali, I got recommendations of where to stay and what to see.

But nothing was the same as actually being there.

You can’t really get the feel of any place entirely, just by learning about it.

I could even see a film of Bali (which I did, when looking at a bike-ride adventure for a day with a touring company). I could read guidebooks (I got about ten from the library). I saw the personal photos from a good friend from his trip with his family.

Everything brought it closer: film, pictures, stories from others, words.

But NOTHING was like being there. From the moment of getting off the airplane, there were smells, sights, colors, temperature, sounds of all kinds.

It was like diving into the lake, when before, someone told me about what it was like to swim there.

Even if I had entered a 3-D hologram sort of scene of Bali (I heard recently that there are bird-tweets programmed into the speakers in the ground at Disneyland) it might have been fun, but not quite REAL.

You know what I’m talkin’ about!

Understanding your own mind, your own experience of being alive, how you react, and who you’d be without your stressful thoughts….you have to experience it for yourself.

Even if you can’t make it to Breitenbush in Oregon in the United States and you are across the world (maybe you’re in gorgeous Bali, I met some awesome Grace Notes readers there) you can support your own inner journey by making your environment ideal.

You can do The Work, you can see what you’re thinking, you can stop, question, and hold still and look around.

Then….FEEL your environment, feel who you are, feel all of you, beyond your thoughts and perceptions.

“This Work is meditation. It’s like diving into yourself.Contemplate the questions, drop down into the depths of yourself, listen, and wait. The answer will find your question. The mind will join the heart, no matter how closed down or hopeless you think you are…..You may begin to experience revelations about yourself and your world, revelations that will transform your whole life, forever.” ~ Byron Katie

This has been true for me. It has transformed my whole life.

This life of understanding the mind, thinking, thoughts, beliefs, un-believing, not knowing, mystery, enlightenment….

….what a stunning adventure.

We’re all on the same journey of freedom, we all love freedom soooo much!

And in the end, you don’t need to move your body anywhere to take this journey. It’s real, and real can be to be exactly where you are.

Well…maybe a fake bird call here and there (an untrue thought)…but you’ve got what it takes to know what’s real. Phew!

“I came to see that the world is always as it should be, whether I opposed it or not. And I came to embrace reality with all my heart. I love the world, without any conditions.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love, Grace

P.S. Summer Camp for The Mind coming June, July and August. Only $97 per month with live telecalls and a private membership site. Do The Work with others, only using your phone or computer. You really DON’T have to leave your home for summer camp!