It’s 2 months until I offer the three-day Eating Peace workshop in Seattle February 6-8, 2015. It’s really happening. People are buying their plane tickets to come stay. People are already enrolled.
And I have a confession to make.
Last year’s Eating Peace weekend (I called it Horrible Food Wonderful Food) had three people.
My confession?
I had a push-pull love-hate not-sure feeling about marketing, promoting, even offering the event.
Who am I to help people address such a deep, anxiety-ridden, frustrating issue? An issue that lasts and lasts for people, year after year, maybe ever since they were a child?
How can I say “come for a weekend, and question your relationship with food and eating, for the better”?
And I realized in this one particular area, food and eating, so close to my heart since I had an eating disorder that almost cost me my life….
….that I still felt the power of the deep discouragement, the pain and suffering, the hopelessness other people experience around this topic.
I may have found personal freedom, but I wasn’t sure how to put it into words, or if I could really help anyone else.
At least that’s what I was thinking, and partly believing.
Last year, I took a very close look again after I successfully taught the workshop to the three wonderful people who attended, one of them via skype.
Why had I hardly said a word about offering the weekend? Why had I not posted it in the usual online places? Or mentioned it to my peeps locally? Or made flyers, or announcements, or even spent time creating it as an official “event” on facebook?
I kind of half-whispered that it was happening and secretly thought….no problem if it’s canceled if no one shows up.
Several brave souls DID sign up.
They called me on it, without knowing they were doing it. One person drove from another city to be here.
I had to step up to the plate.
I could have said no. I could have backed out. I could have continued to avoid being in this role, and stop trying.
I took it to the mat. I did The Work.
My mind had been keeping me in flip-flop mode.
This happens in tons of areas for humans. Not just offering workshops, teaching material, sharing yourself, being vulnerable, wanting to be of service, creating something new.
People flip-flop about relationships, where they’re living, jobs, schools, all kinds of “decisions”.
Here were my concerns:
This is a huge big issue, with medical and physical impact. People get upset about their food…they are challenged, despondent, outraged, furious. Even brilliant people who are very well-read, have researched this topic endlessly, and tried many solutions.
This concern is dark, frightening, powerful, addictive.
Some people might die of it, there are no guarantees for healing.
Many people won’t relax and question their stories. Period.
I don’t have all the answers……
….Eeeeeeek! I’m scared!
Maybe you’ve had this kind of experience around doing something new.
You are drawn towards something, you’ve learned something magnificent, you want to learn more, you’re challenged.
Who would you be without the belief you can’t be of service? Who would you be without the belief you need to have all the answers? Who would you be without the belief that your life experience won’t benefit others if they hear your story?
Who would you be without the belief you could make a mistake?
What I know is, I feel a persistent call to serve. I used to be so different in this department called eating. I feel so simply free now.
How could I sit back and stop sharing when people ask me questions? Everyone can have this freedom, I know it.
Yes, thinking about food is a deep, dark, powerful, unsettling process.
Yes, eating out of balance appears to depress people, kill people, make their lives miserable, and they do it anyway.
What if all those people who helped me when I was suicidal and struggling and seeing no future or believing I could never change said to me…..
…..”Yeah, I think you’re right. Why bother trying to heal from eating issues? You should just give up.”
They didn’t.
I didn’t either.
I turned my thoughts around about working with people who want to explore their troubled relationship with food and eating.
They are coming along to be of service to me.
Everyone who shows up, writes to me, or has questions is all a part of a great and wonderful path.
I may not be the one to give everyone what they need, that’s very normal. Each of us needs to discover the right ingredients, in the right timing, at the right temperature….and exchange insights with others in the way they’re moved.
But I AM going to offer an absolutely awesome workshop, for three full days with an incredible group. We’re going to have an amazing time.
To read about the details of the Eating Peace workshop cost, food, logistics and accommodations, click here (you can also register).
We’ll be meeting February 6-8, 2015 in north Seattle near my home.
And even if this is not your topic, and you’ll never take a workshop on eating issues of any kind, but you’re agonizing over something really troubling….
….everything is working itself out just right.
You have what it takes to end your struggle. You don’t have to suffer. You can put yourself out there, with pure honesty.
“As long as you think that the cause of your problem is “out there”–as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering–the situation is hopeless. It means that you are forever in the role of victim, that you’re suffering in paradise.” ~ Byron Katie
Question your thinking, be your honest self from the inside out, right now.
Maybe you can learn something about yourself by working with only one person, maybe you need a small crowd, maybe you need an audience of 500, or no one at all but you.
It all comes down to the same thing in the end.
Ha ha!
“To be here, all you have to do is let go of who you think you are. That’s all! And then you realize, “I’m here.” Here is where thoughts aren’t believed. Every time you come here, you are nothing. Radiantly nothing. Absolutely and eternally zero.” ~ Adyashanti
Much love, Zero Grace