Last week I had an actual 2015 calendar planning week, with a new pocket calendar getting filled in and events getting scheduled.
It was weird.
It was the most organized, without trying to be organized, I’ve ever been.
Have you ever noticed that when you try to be organized, it often doesn’t exactly go the way you plan?
Sometimes….not having guarantees about the future, the calendar, THE PLAN….is stressful.
What if it doesn’t work out?
What if the plan turns out to be boring, or depressing, or something alarming happens like a broken leg, a theft, a missed connection, terrible weather, an uncomfortable conversation?
What if you’re getting together with your family, for example, and it’s not that fun and you came all that distance….and….and….
Remember, if you’re having a stressful moment like that….you can quietly excuse yourself for a moment, notice the painful thoughts screaming in your mind, and question them.
Or just one.
You only have to question ONE to often find a little gap in the stream of worry, doubt or anger.
“This isn’t going well.”
Is it true?
Yes. She said something so mean to me. I’m not having fun. They’re acting the same as they always do. I feel sad. I can’t handle this. I’m just not cut out for this I guess.
Are you sure? Really, really sure?
Well. No.
(A small smile might begin right here. On the inside. You might suddenly notice your surroundings, and how still they are, how safe you are, how things maybe aren’t as dramatic as you thought only 30 seconds ago).
Who would you be without the belief that it’s not going well….whatever it is?
No matter what the thing is you’re aware of….even that very alarming, frightening thing.
Who would you BE? What would you be? What would that be like, to not be positive it isn’t going well?
You might detach a little, just a little. You might ease up on the strength of your emotion. You might feel some space, a pause.
If you turned your thought all the way around, what would that be like? What if that were just as true, or even truer?
It IS going well.
Can you find a real, genuine, actual example of how this is true? It can’t be an affirmation, that you’re hoping is true, it has to be something you really see.
We’re giving weight here to the opposite.
This “planning” session went well. I have fabulous events on the calendar. All the contacts with people this coming year sound sweet, incredible, exciting, touching.
I look forward to the calendar being so full.
I look forward to the beauty ahead. I look forward to the unexpected, to delayed flights, lost sleep, imperfect interactions, busy-ness, tons of invitations, lots of time spent working with groups of amazing and often suffering people, earning a good living, spending money, having adventures, paying bills, feeling uncomfortable, questioning the world.
Wow.
Who would you be without the belief that anything coming up on your calendar should go a certain way?
Free? Open?
Laughing?
“The simple truth of it is that what happens is the best thing that can happen. People who can’t see this are simply believing their own thoughts, and have to stay stuck in the illusion of a limited world, lost in the war with what is. It’s a war they’ll always lose, because it argues with reality, and reality is always benevolent. What actually happens is the best that can happen, whether you understand it or not. And until you understand it, there is no peace.” ~ Byron Katie
Much love, Grace