Just finished the third teleclass Our Wonderful Sexuality this morning. I love what people discover and see as possible in those uncomfortable moments around sexuality of any kind.
Today, we were looking at a couple of concepts….but I could really relate to one of them.
He should talk about sex, or having sex, or his thoughts, his feelings, what’s going on with him over there.
This thought happens in tons of situations between people, not just love and sex.
Someone will be doing something, sitting there like a lump NOT doing something, not speaking.
And we think with frustration “they should speak!”
Without that belief, however….what spectacular freedom. You notice silence, the empty space in the room, the look on the person’s face, the feelings in your own body and your own heart.
You may notice you feel like moving toward or away from that person, or you have a very important question to ask them.
You may also see, without that belief, how the turnaround is as true or truer….“I should speak!”
Oh maaaannnn.
I love looking at why I didn’t speak, when I had something to say, in my life.
I was afraid I would be rejected, afraid of being alone, afraid of admitting this wasn’t for me and I needed something different, afraid of leaving the situation, afraid of hurting someone, afraid of losing the feeling of thrill, curiosity, mystery, illusion.
It’s like I was always trying to prevent a future from happening that was unbearable. Being trapped, being rejected, feeling pain.
But who would you be without THAT thought….that whatever happens next could be threatening?
Without the belief that speaking, asking, saying what you need to say will result in something terrible?
You’d take a deep breath, and speak what is true for you, without attack or complaining or resignation or bitterness.
“To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
Do you have anything to speak out about today, that you may have been keeping pushed inside for fear of the outcome?
Maybe it’s the day to say it. Only you really know.
“Spare yourself from seeking love, approval or appreciation–from anyone. And watch what happens in reality, for fun.” ~ Byron Katie
Much love,
Grace