All this waiting to hear about surgery! I can’t stand it!
Ha ha! Because of course I can, the evidence is clear that I AM standing it.
(For those of you who haven’t heard…my right hamstring was torn and it has to be pinned back to the pelvic bone).
It will be a few weeks before I’m going under the knife…I’ll keep you posted.
Meanwhile, besides the astonishing discovery that there is a leg, and a hamstring that is apparently disconnected from the bone, there are lots of other exciting thoughts of DISCONNECTION streaming through the mind.
A woman not long ago came to me, worried about her failed relationships…one after the other…and now she was once again single.
This is not an uncommon thought, that someone feels disconnected from partnership, intimacy, love, abundance.
When someone is apparently “single” all sorts of thoughts enter that can be painful and troubling, depending on your situation.
We looked at what this woman was thinking and believing that was painful, besides the obvious thought “I need a boyfriend.”
Why?
- a partner will bring me happiness, security, joy, laughter
- not having a partner means I’m doing something wrong
- if I had a boyfriend I wouldn’t be lonely
- I would have lots of sex, pleasure, companionship
- I would receive attention, be supported
- life would be less expensive
- I could support someone else, give to them, take care of them
The thing is, when there is a lot of apparent “advantage” in having a life partner….people without one start to think of themselves as being failures, having less than those others WITH partners.
And some people start attacking the “problem” with a vengeance. I WILL GET A PARTNER OR DIE!
But questioning these beliefs about all these apparent advantages can be SO FREEING.
So let’s look!
Is it true that having a partner will bring happiness, security, joy, laughter, sex, pleasure, companionship, financial ease, support, care?
Are you sure those are not available at a rockin’ awesome top level WITHOUT a partner?
Are you sure you don’t have all these things right now, in this very moment, whether you have a partner or not?
Because after I got divorced, I was absolutely single. And over the months that passed, my mind was thrilled with the freedom….and my idea was “I will NEVER get married, EVER again.”
I actually had to do The Work and question my thoughts on the benefits of being SINGLE…because it seemed that non-commitment, openness, uncertainty, change, and freedom was by far more appealing.
So what about the truth, for you, as you look at the longing for a partner (or remember a time when you longed for contact with someone?)
Are you really, really sure that having this thing, this person, in your life, will bring you happiness?
For me, it feels true that MONEY would bring greater happiness, excitement, thrill, possibility.
Oh rats. Not that longing again.
I realize, I could relate to this client who wanted a partner. I know what it’s like to want, to believe that the having of this partner (a man, a woman, money) would bring LOVE, security, joy, ease.
How do you react when you think that getting that thing or person would be GREAT?
I notice that my current status is not-quite-good-enough. Disappointed. Disgruntled.
Annoyed. Bummed.
So who would you be without the thought that you need that partner (or money)?
The woman I was working with said “But! Then I wouldn’t try to get one! Why join Match.com then! I’ll NEVER have a partner if I don’t think I want one!”
Can you absolutely know this is true?
“What do you believe is preventing you from being happy? Do yo need to see more justice in the world? After you have justice, what would you feel? Happy? After truth? After health? After riches? After charity? After peace on earth? Then will your happiness be allowed?” ~ Bruce DiMarsico
I love one of Byron Katie’s suggestions, to skip the middle man, and be happy from right here, right now.
I notice that the happier I get right in this present moment, without anything needing to happen or change….
….the MORE my life changes.
Crazy!
“She who is centered in the Tao can go where she wishes, without danger. She perceives the universal harmony, even amid great pain, because she has found peace in her heart.” ~ Tao Te Ching #35
If you have the desire to examine your beliefs about money: needing, wanting, earning, spending it….then come join the party for 8 weeks starting Dec. 5th. It could change your entire relationship with money and work, and give you a lighter world.
Click here to register or learn more.
Love, Grace