Quick News: There is room in teleclass Earning Money, starting Thursday 5:15 pm Pacific, on diving in to the stressful beliefs about money, work, and business. Click here to read about it and register.
Here’s a beautiful note I received from a participant from this class:
Dear Grace, Thank you. A year ago you gave me a discounted place on one of your business courses. I went into it open minded but not exactly sure what (if any) impact it would have.At the very outset of the course I remember you saying that we should deal with whatever will stop us from fully participating in the course. That simple challenge meant it was the first course that I have taken that I completely participated in (and I have taken a lot of courses).********
Other than upcoming teleclasses, this morning I am thinking about my recent travel. And being special (not).
Traveling by airplane is very, very bizarre, when you really think about it.
We humans can get on a big airplane that holds several hundred people, like an entire waiting room jam packed full, and all their bags and boxes, and the tubular unit (the jet) takes off into the sky and flies half way around the world at 30,000 feet.
That is sooooo bizarre.
Now, I am back in cool, gray Seattle, Washington where I normally apparently live. It’s morning here, and evening in Bali.
My brain is a little groggy.
My thoughts go something like this:
- I should sleep all night without waking up
- I wish I felt better physically, as in, energetic, well-rested, spunky!
- My body has a life of its own…it seems confused about the hour of the day….and I don’t like it!
- I wanted to be special and not have Jet Lag!
Ha! I want to be special!
One of my all-time favorite repetitive concepts, that I really don’t like to confess or mention, is all about being special.
This idea can appear just about anywhere.
It appears often for many humans in primary relationships, family situations, then work situations, creative endeavors, the urge to be “known” or perhaps “famous”, loved, adored, special around health, time…you name it.
It’s a little embarrassing to admit having the idea “I am special”.
The mind has a voice that says “You are soooo special. You are not like all other people. Just look! You are clever! You are successful! You are an amazing manifester! You look young for your age! You’re a good athlete! You are quite a unique talent! You don’t even get Jet Lag! WOW!”
I call that the Pumper-Upper Voice. It gives assurance and pep talks and cheer-leading speeches, in an effort to feel relief, or dissolve worry, or deny that there is fear present about being ordinary, just like all other humans.
That voice that gets interested in being special is comparing yourself to everyone and everything else. It’s like there’s a huge gigantic competition, and where you fit in the percentiles actually matters.
That voice enjoys feeling like you might have a leg-up, part of an elite group, an outlier, lucky, a hard-worker….special.
Often in primary love relationships, we get very caught in thinking we are special because the other person thinks we’re special and we think they are special….specialness all around.
But no.
It’s the very same flip-side thinking as comparing yourself to others and to the universe and finding yourself lacking, less-than, worse-off by comparison.
I have a body, just like everyone else does. It is actually nothing special.
Neither is my mind, my journey, my relationships, my life experience.
The thing is, “getting” this idea at a most deep level (and we all really do get this)….that I am mediocre and ordinary and just like everyone else…can be the most wonderful, liberating, extraordinary thing.
Nothing to brace against, nothing to push towards, nothing to strive for. Simply alive, living this moment, being here….tired and knowing very little, not having any answers, on my way to death eventually.
Not trying to feel pumped, or encouraged, or bolstered up or full of big accomplishments as opposed to tired, normal, middle-aged (or whatever age you are) person.
Allowing everything about yourself to be as it is, without wishing it to be different, and without giving yourself a gold star either for accomplishment.
“Rejoicing in ordinary things is not sentimental or trite. It actually takes guts. Each time we drop our complaints and allow everyday good fortune to inspire us, we enter the warrior’s world.” ~ Pema Chodron
If right now, today, you loosen the grip of wishing you were something other than what you are, no matter how tiny the thoughts (like “I wish I wasn’t jet-lagged” or “I wish I had more money”) and see who you would be without the thought….you may have an inspiring, extraordinary, awesome feeling of relaxation.
No big deal.
If you let go of the complaints, you let go also of the compliments, the strutting, the feeling of control or better-ness or having a special spin on things…..and it’s really OK.
It’s more than OK, it’s so ordinary and sweet, without needing anything to be different….that it feels amazing.
Who would you be without the thought that you are special, different, exceptional, admired, or that it would be better if you were?
“The funny thing about enlightenment is that when it is authentic, there is no one to claim it. Enlightenment is very ordinary; it is nothing special. Rather than making you more special, it is going to make you less special. It plants you right in the center of a wonderful humility and innocence. Everyone else may or may not call you enlightened, but when you are enlightened the whole notion of enlightenment and someone who is enlightened is a big joke. ” ~ Adyashanti
Much love,
Grace
P.S. Due to great interest, I will likely start a Fall Group for the One Year Program of Inquiry on Thursday evenings Pacific Time (a different time option) beginning in September. I so love the joy people are drawn to in creating a group community sangha to investigate their stressful beliefs together for a whole year. Click here to read all about it.
P.P.S Two spaces left in Horrible Food Wonderful Food—join us on Tuesdays!