Life on the road appears absolutely and completely different, in some ways, than life NOT on the road.
And yet, depending on the circumstance, the thinking mind reaction to the situation at hand, whatever it is, is the same.
Something happens, something unexpected or out of the norm, and a response forms in the mind.
I must admit, I had a few stressful thoughts arise as I entered Bali with my husband Tuesday night. The fascinating piece to the thinking is me calling it stress, because it was slightly fearful.
Really, it was simply entering the unknown…..and with enough unknown, the mind begins to put up warning signs that say WATCH OUT.
It all boiled down to a primary, deep, underlying stressful thought:something could go wrong.
Why would the mind call it “wrong”?
Good question! So many things could go wrong! So let’s see what my mind was chatting about and suggesting as I entered a place I’ve never been before:
- I might lose money, I might have to pay for something I didn’t expect to have to pay for
- I might get sick from drinking the water (people told me it’s possible)
- I might get sick from eating the food (people told me it’s likely)
- I need something and no one understands my language when I ask for help
- I am very hungry and I don’t know how to get food right now
- We’re lost
- We don’t have the address to where we’re going, or the person’s phone number, and no one is here to meet us…we don’t know what to do next
Now, did we ever have to know what to do, in that situation upon arrival getting off the airplane?
Actually no.
The MIND will think it would be better to know all about everything, at all times, so that nothing unexpected ever happens and there are no surprises…..and NOTHING EVER GOES WRONG.
The mind will say that something went a little wrong for me and Jon upon arrival, or several things went wrong: I lost one of my sandals in a ditch (bizarre but true), some men began to take off with our luggage, someone wanted to charge us for internet service when it was actually free, there was no one to meet us at the airport and we had expected someone, and there appeared to be no food at our destination when we finally got there.
When I look at any of these and consider why the mind comes up with the idea of them being “wrong” I see that, as usual, it comes down to the perception of safety.
I might not get my needs met! I might feel uncomfortable! This would be WRONG!
As I lay in bed, exhausted and ready to sleep on our first night in a foreign country, with a bit of a weird feeling about being in a wild, mysterious place and not knowing what would happen next…I noticed the sensation in the body of caution.
And I remembered Byron Katie’s words “Don’t be careful, you might hurt yourself.”
Moving around on planet earth to places unknown, at least for me, may feel like a risk, or it may feel like an adventure, and it vacillates between both.
If it’s too much risk (according to the mind) then the mind will yell and try to get back to safety and the known and calm as quickly as possible.
Yesterday, safety and known were not quite as solid as usual.
And yet, oh yeah that’s right, now I remember that things are neverreally solid or known.
Unexpected things can happen at any moment, no matter where we are.
Accidents, happy coincidences, a new neighbor moves in, a friend reveals something very touching about their life, your partner says they are leaving, a gift arrives in the mail for no reason, you get laid off, someone you haven’t seen in years calls you, you fall and break your arm, you have an interesting conversation at a dinner party.
Life is unfolding and flowering every single moment, and we think that if it remains uneventful, somehow stable, then we can breathe and rest and we’re “safe”.
But Not Knowing anything that will happen is the greatest truth of all, whether I am in the place I live every day, that appears to look quite similar each morning, or whether I am in a different country.
I remember that nothing is guaranteed, nothing static, and that anything could change at any moment. In fact, everything is changing, every moment.
What if I lived the turnaround to my stressful thought that I am in potential danger, and that something could go wrong?
What if instead I lived the belief “something could go right”?
What if even when I am very hungry and tired and not sure how to get to a bed, and I’m not sure how or where to get food, I notice that something comes to me to do or say.
Nothing “bad” happened. There was only uncertainty, and imagining that things would get worse.
I remember this was really my only most terrible thought when my marriage was ending. What it really boiled down to was that I did not know what the future would look like, whereas before, I thought I knew.
I didn’t like not knowing, and the risk that I would not feel physically comfortable LATER.
Being on the road, with things unknown, my relationship to the universe and to reality feels more teeter-totter close to the edge.
But it’s not any more than usual, really.
Yes, all those uncertain things might happen.
If I lost money, or lost my way, or couldn’t find food, or got sick, or didn’t speak the language…who knows what exciting wonderful Absolutely Right thing could happen next.
All I know is, it does seem true that WITH the thought Something Could Go Wrong (or something IS going wrong) then there is stress…
…but WITHOUT the thought that anything could go wrong…
…smiling inside, entertainment, humor, fun, adventure, awe, beauty, rest, joy, and taking care of myself, asking for help.
No matter where you are, who would you be if you believed and lived the thought today “something could be going just right”?
Much love, Grace