Tag: stressful thinking

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You Need To Stop Thinking—Is It True?

Yesterday I got into my car to drive from A to B. The overcast sky had parted so sun was beaming everywhere.

My phone rang so as I glanced to see who the caller was, it looked sort of familiar, like an official number from my neighborhood, so I answered it, just in case it was my kid calling from school.

All was well, but that call took about 15 minutes before I started the engine to go to  my next destination: the gym.

I noticed I had on a long-sleeved shirt and now, with the weather change, I felt hot and sticky. Yik.

This caused me to remember, after driving half way there, that I don’t have a gym bag, so I have no gym clothes, so I have to go back home now, to fetch them.

I looked over at the dashboard clock. I started calculating.

By the time I get home, it will be x-o’clock, if I go really, really fast it will be y’o’clock when I arrive at the gym. I’ll get exactly 25 minutes of workout time, which is NOT ENOUGH, I usually set aside 60, but it’s something at least. Then it will be z-o’clock.

If all goes well…no wrinkles in the “plan” then I’ll have time to pick up the daughter, drive to the orthodontist, return an inquiring client phone call, go back home, take a 4 minute shower, see a client, call another person back, check emails and get to dance on time.

I’m already tired.

Looking at the future lay-out in terms of time, sections of accomplishment, blocks of what-needs-to-happen.

This situation needs to move. Faster.

I need to generate output, attention, organization….and get this over with so the next thing can happen.

Fortunately….very, very fortunately….this is only one thread of thinking from the Belief Committee.

Only one kind of feeling, or orientation really.

If that committee gets going though, not exactly Fun Times. It tends to believe it can take over the entire World View of the host entity.

For some reason, and not because of “me” I assure you….I take a deep breath and almost at the same time as the plans appear, and the clock-monitor seeing clicks on, a feeling that’s like a gentle smile also appears.

The other day a wonderful inquirer wrote to me “but why does it take hours of doing The Work and all this effort to find peace? Can’t there be a quicker more instant way?”

I love that question!

You want a quicker, easier, speedier way! No stress entering! No troubling or annoying beliefs! Can’t we just get over it?

Are you sure? Is that true that quicker and instant would be better?

Yes indeed! Because! Isn’t that why I do The Work in the first place? Or any other technique, practice, inquiry, method?

Of course it’s true!

And how do you react when you think the thought that getting this whole bothersome “work part” over with, getting through it, instantly changing, suddenly becoming stress-free….is the Best Goal Ever?

My mind is a stop watch. I see events as taking too long. The clock is ticking. Can’t relax, can’t sleep, can’t truly rest, must push on.

I think. A lot.

With the thoughts that I must “find” peace, I analyze options for the best choice, the shortest method, the ideal option. I’m looking, looking, calculating, re-calculating, waiting, seeing this situation as falling short.

But who would I be without the these thoughts? Without having any Goals? Without thinking that what is here takes too long, is too much work, is arduous and slow?

Without the thought….woah.

I notice that I may actually have No Choice. I may be a part of a conglomerate inter-woven mess and tangle of life that appears in this moment as a human thinking they need to get somewhere faster.

I notice I never actually go any faster than I go. Life never goes any faster than it goes. Whether an afternoon, or appointments, or enlightenment.

Hilarious!

Who would I be without the thought that peace should be here NOW, that my afternoon should unfold at the appointed perfect time, that there is an end-goal in mind and it should be achieved ASAP.

What if As Soon As Possible is LATER?

As in…I’m not the boss of this. I’m not running things. It’s not up to me…even the attainment of peace?

Without this thought something inside my solar plexus opens and relaxes and is so happy, it’s almost hard to explain.

I turn it all around. The way it’s going is just right. Even me doing The Work, finding peace, opening, surrendering.

What if I am actually getting what I want? Could there be a benefit to the pace of this afternoon? The status of having or not-having whatever it is?

“We keep falling for it, we keep believing there’s a place that I’m going to get to where all this ends…..Your mind is trying to do this. But your mind isn’t really yours at all! If it was, you’d turn it off like a light switch. YOU…you are not doing any of this. You are not your mind.” ~ Adyashanti

Holy Moly!

If things really are not supposed to go the way I command, including my thinking….but they’re supposed to go the way they’re going….that’s one heckofa lot less work on my part.

A lot less everything, on my part. A lot less of me having a part.

“In my experience, we don’t make thoughts appear, they just appear. One day, I noticed that their appearance just wasn’t personal. Noticing that really makes it simpler to inquire.” ~ Byron Katie

If you’ve got a lot of thoughts, welcome to reality! Hee hee.

Much Love, Grace

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OMG I Might Feel Uncomfortable

Life on the road appears absolutely and completely different, in some ways, than life NOT on the road.

And yet, depending on the circumstance, the thinking mind reaction to the situation at hand, whatever it is, is the same.

Something happens, something unexpected or out of the norm, and a response forms in the mind.

I must admit, I had a few stressful thoughts arise as I entered Bali with my husband Tuesday night. The fascinating piece to the thinking is me calling it stress, because it was slightly fearful.

Really, it was simply entering the unknown…..and with enough unknown, the mind begins to put up warning signs that say WATCH OUT.

It all boiled down to a primary, deep, underlying stressful thought:something could go wrong.

Why would the mind call it “wrong”?

Good question! So many things could go wrong! So let’s see what my mind was chatting about and suggesting as I entered a place I’ve never been before:

  • I might lose money, I might have to pay for something I didn’t expect to have to pay for
  • I might get sick from drinking the water (people told me it’s possible)
  • I might get sick from eating the food (people told me it’s likely)
  • I need something and no one understands my language when I ask for help
  • I am very hungry and I don’t know how to get food right now
  • We’re lost
  •  We don’t have the address to where we’re going, or the person’s phone number, and no one is here to meet us…we don’t know what to do next

Now, did we ever have to know what to do, in that situation upon arrival getting off the airplane?

Actually no.

The MIND will think it would be better to know all about everything, at all times, so that nothing unexpected ever happens and there are no surprises…..and NOTHING EVER GOES WRONG.

The mind will say that something went a little wrong for me and Jon upon arrival, or several things went wrong: I lost one of my sandals in a ditch (bizarre but true), some men began to take off with our luggage, someone wanted to charge us for internet service when it was actually free, there was no one to meet us at the airport and we had expected someone, and there appeared to be no food at our destination when we finally got there.

When I look at any of these and consider why the mind comes up with the idea of them being “wrong” I see that, as usual, it comes down to the perception of safety.

I might not get my needs met! I might feel uncomfortable! This would be WRONG!

As I lay in bed, exhausted and ready to sleep on our first night in a foreign country, with a bit of a weird feeling about being in a wild, mysterious place and not knowing what would happen next…I noticed the sensation in the body of caution.

And I remembered Byron Katie’s words “Don’t be careful, you might hurt yourself.” 

Moving around on planet earth to places unknown, at least for me, may feel like a risk, or it may feel like an adventure, and it vacillates between both.

If it’s too much risk (according to the mind) then the mind will yell and try to get back to safety and the known and calm as quickly as possible.

Yesterday, safety and known were not quite as solid as usual.

And yet, oh yeah that’s right, now I remember that things are neverreally solid or known.

Unexpected things can happen at any moment, no matter where we are.

Accidents, happy coincidences, a new neighbor moves in, a friend reveals something very touching about their life, your partner says they are leaving, a gift arrives in the mail for no reason, you get laid off, someone you haven’t seen in years calls you, you fall and break your arm, you have an interesting conversation at a dinner party.

Life is unfolding and flowering every single moment, and we think that if it remains uneventful, somehow stable, then we can breathe and rest and we’re “safe”.

But Not Knowing anything that will happen is the greatest truth of all, whether I am in the place I live every day, that appears to look quite similar each morning, or whether I am in a different country.

I remember that nothing is guaranteed, nothing static, and that anything could change at any moment. In fact, everything is changing, every moment.

What if I lived the turnaround to my stressful thought that I am in potential danger, and that something could go wrong?

What if instead I lived the belief “something could go right”? 

What if even when I am very hungry and tired and not sure how to get to a bed, and I’m not sure how or where to get food, I notice that something comes to me to do or say.

Nothing “bad” happened. There was only uncertainty, and imagining that things would get worse.

I remember this was really my only most terrible thought when my marriage was ending. What it really boiled down to was that I did not know what the future would look like, whereas before, I thought I knew.

I didn’t like not knowing, and the risk that I would not feel physically comfortable LATER.

Being on the road, with things unknown, my relationship to the universe and to reality feels more teeter-totter close to the edge.

But it’s not any more than usual, really.

Yes, all those uncertain things might happen.

If I lost money, or lost my way, or couldn’t find food, or got sick, or didn’t speak the language…who knows what exciting wonderful Absolutely Right thing could happen next.

All I know is, it does seem true that WITH the thought Something Could Go Wrong (or something IS going wrong) then there is stress…

…but WITHOUT the thought that anything could go wrong…

…smiling inside, entertainment, humor, fun, adventure, awe, beauty, rest, joy, and taking care of myself, asking for help.

No matter where you are, who would you be if you believed and lived the thought today “something could be going just right”?

Much love, Grace