This year starting last fall, I have been studying with a very small group and a kind, loving leader, Stephan Bodian (author of Wake Up Now).
He sent out a short email to those of us in his school recently and signed it “Live As You Know Yourself To Be”.
The real, genuine, authentic, alive YOU.
I found the idea so sweet and comforting, all in the instant of reading it.
It reminded me that sometimes we live as we know ourselves NOT to be: telling a painful story, worried, living in scarcity, nervous that the sky is falling, upset with someone we know who did something uncomfortable for us, pushing against things that happen, pulling against other things that don’t happen.
Not that any of these things are wrong. Something occurs that sets us off into being afraid and we react. We get images filling our minds of fearful possibilities, or something that happened in the past repeating itself.
So how do I know myself to BE? What is this me that is here, that I’m aware of?
I know, I know…we can’t get a straight answer. There’s a lot of mystery in the “me”.
There are all the ways we might describe ourselves to others….I am a woman almost age 52, with two teenagers, recently married to a fabulous husband, and I live in Seattle, used to be bulimic and smoked, teach The Work of Byron Katie, meditator. Blah blah blah.
This is not who I know myself to be, though. All those things are changeable, dynamic, shifting. None of that will stay the same. It’s just a description of a body or demographic.
Who I know myself to be? What is the answer when I ask “who am I?”
REALLY, who are you?
Gawd, the question can be soooooo annoying!
At least it used to annoy me. Until I realized it’s always hanging in the background, so might as well get used to it. Even if there doesn’t seem to be a clear answer.
If I live the way I know myself to be, then I land on what I do know that brings me freedom, that is not stressful.
What I am is alive, loving, thrilled, joyful, empty, mysterious, a temporary body, energy, openness, happy, an entity of some kind with different emotions and expressions.
If you aren’t sure you like what you are, who you are, and how you are, then doing The Work is amazing as a way to inquire.
I love one exercise that I’ll share with you today that I often like to include in some of my teleclasses or workshops. It is from Byron Katie’s book “I Need Your Love–Is That True?”
Step One. Make a list of what you think you don’t want a particular person (your wife, your mother, your children) or even all of humanity, to know about you.
Step Two. Turn it all around. Read you list again but begin it with “What I DO want you to know about me is…” (You don’t have to tell it out loud to anyone). Experience this internally, for yourself. Discover if any of it is as true as or truer than your original list. If possible, read your list to someone out loud, without defense or justification.
Everyone always says to be yourself, but it takes much inquiry sometimes and great courage to even find out what you are.
“There are two ways of being me: One is to hate it and one is to love it. Which will it be (since I don’t have a choice but to be me?) Okay, I’ll be me, and question my thoughts about ME until I see me as perfect in every way, even sweeter than perfect. Someone has got to be happy in this world. Good that it’s me. I definitely volunteer.”~Byron Katie
If you’d like to join other courageous and thoughtful people, who always appear to do The Work, then look over the list below of the new teleclasses starting in January and JOIN us.
You’ll be learning to slow down and question your experiences and your relationships in your life…with money, food, your body, an important person, sexuality.
We’re all in this together, and doing The Work in a small group is a beautiful way to learn to love who you are, without shame, embarrassment, angst, or hiding.
I received this note today from a participant who took the Money, Work and Business course last year (the class is called Earning Money: Is There A Problem?):
Dear Grace,
Thank you.
A year ago you gave me a discounted place on one of your business courses.
I went into it open minded but not exactly sure what (if any) impact it would have.
At the very outset of the course I remember you saying that we should deal with whatever will stop us from fully participating in the course.
That simple challenge meant it was the first course that I have taken that I completely participated in (and I have taken a lot of courses).
I am still working with my issues around money however in terms of my business…
… it doubled within a year of taking the course.
Working with you was a major consciousness shift.
It was a brilliant and worthwhile investment on many levels.
Thank you for your valuable work – and very welcome grace notes.
–Class participant from Kenya
Love,
Grace
NEW! 2013 January Teleclasses! As always, please write if you need financial assistance. Click here to register for any of these classes online. You can also send an email to grace@workwithgrace.com if you’d prefer to mail a check or want to ask questions.
**Earning Money: What’s Your Problem? Questioning Your Beliefs About Money, Work and Business. Mondays, January 14-March 4, 2013, 10:00 am – 11:30 am Pacific time. 8 weeks $395.
**Our Wonderful Sexuality: Untangling the Passion, Attraction, Love, Past Terrors, Future Worries, Fear, Confusion, Tenderness, and Joyful Intimacy. Tuesdays, January 8 – February 26, 2013, 6:30 – 8:00 pm Pacific time. 8 weeks $395.
**Horrible Food Wonderful Food: Healing the Love/Hate Relationship with Eating, Food, and Our Bodies. Thursdays, January 10 – February 28, 2013. 10:00 am – 11:30 am Pacific time. 8 weeks $395.
**Turning Relationship Hell To Heaven: Working With Painful Hate, Anger, Fury, Despair, Grief, or Disappointment With Someone You Know; Spouse, Mother, Sibling, Father, Daughter, Son, Boss, Neighbor, Friend. Fridays, January 11 – March 1, 2013 8:00 am – 9:30 am Pacific time. 8 weeks $395.
In Person workshops:
Horrible Food Wonderful Food Weekend In-Person Intensive Seattle January 12-13, 2013 Saturday 10 – 5:30, Sunday 1:30-5:30. $215. To register click HERE now and then send me an email grace@workwithgrace.com.
Mark your calendar for Breitenbush, the end of June 2013! We will be looking at all aspects of what we consider to be flaws in the body, and Un-doing our beliefs about them. Stay tuned if you’d like to join me and Susan Grace Beekman from June 26-30, 2013. You can change your internal beliefs about what you think bodies should be like….and change your entire experience of being in yours.
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