“We’re leaving our home for a one-year adventure”. My parents announced this to me and my three sisters when I was 14.
I would miss my entire freshman year of high school in the US.
At the time, I had no idea the changes I was about to experience. My teenage thoughts were like this: I will miss good stuff here at home, I don’t understand why we are going, some of the countries we are traveling to are weird, one country we’re visiting called South Africa is really messed up, our dog will miss us, people will forget about me, I’ll be behind in school, I’ll miss my friends. NOOOOOO!!!
My parents were scraping the money together to do this. Selling things in order to be able to go. My dad had a teaching job lined up in South Africa first, and then London, England.
My parents were so enthusiastic and excited. Traveling the world was like a dream come true for them. Just being around them, I SORT OF felt excited about the possibilities. Seeing strange and unusual things. Maybe.
If it was my choice, however, I would have chosen to STAY HOME.
One of the strangest and yet common experiences humans have in growing older, maturing, learning and “seeing” is when something you once thought you understood is no longer the same, because you now know much more.
Before that one-year journey with my family (we traveled to ten countries) my world appeared full. I wondered about many things. I was constantly thinking about the novels or books I was reading, my friends, boys, clothes, my appearance, my sisters…and sometimes concerned about death, God, goodness, badness, success, happiness, life.
But not until actually going into the unknown world and observing, watching, and listening did my world become bigger. And I didn’t do it. It was not my idea, it was not my plan.
My parents led the way. They were inspired for their own journeys, and I came along with my sisters as a part of the adventure. This shifted things in a way I would have never, ever chosen if it was up to me.
Many of us think about the difference between something happening TO us, or us makingsomething happen. We have pretty strong thoughts about something being completely unplanned, instigated or ignited by someone else, and what we intend or implement ourselves.
It can feel like the stuff we “make” happen we have control over. The other stuff we don’t.
The thing is, we actually don’t have much control over anything.
Anything could happen, at any moment of the day. Even when we stay home.
Other people get crazy ideas, offer interesting perspectives, say things, do things, come and go, change it up. On first glance, what they are doing may not seem good. Not helpful. Not fun. NOT productive. NOT what I want. (Like my parents’ crazy travel adventure).
Doing The Work, questioning your assumptions, your fears, your belief that THIS IS NOT GOOD….can actually change your experience of the situation.
What if you don’t know whether it’s good or not? What if there actually IS something just a teensy tiny bit good about it? What if what is happening might lead you somewhere else, in another unexpected direction, better than you could imagine? What if your mind grows bigger, your life expands to another broader perspective?
“Every thought, every person, every apparent problem is here for the sake of your freedom. When you experience anything as separate or unacceptable, inquiry can bring you back to the peace you felt before you believed the thought.”~Byron Katie
When I was 14, I thought I had a problem. A big one. I was being RIPPED from my first year of high school full of people and fun stuff happening!
It was one of my biggest wake-up calls of my life. One I am incredibly grateful for. I soon had a much, much bigger interest beyond my little life…and what I learned, and the connections I made, I didn’t realize would continue to be important, even today.
Traveling the world like I got to do is easy to think of as a Big Fabulous Opportunity. Most adults think so. But to me at 14? It was a Big Horrible Disaster.
What is happening in your life that is calling you to expand your mind, open yourself up to seeing it differently, not be so AGAINST it?
Are you feeling like a teenager? Maybe acting like one? It’s only fear. It’s only imagining that what is to come couldn’t be as good as what you previously expected. It’s only thinking that keeping things they way they are is best.
And here’s the most fun news of all: Maybe you don’t have to run the show. Maybe something else wiser (like parents) or the universe itself knows an even better way than the one you’re dreaming up.
“The Master does his job and then stops. He understands that the universe is forever out of control, and that trying to dominate events goes against the current of the Tao…” ~Tao Te Ching #30
Much love,
Grace
Turning Relationship Hell To Heaven In-Person Intensive Seattle 12/1 10 am – 6 pm.
Horrible Food Wonderful Food Weekend In-Person Intensive Seattle January 12-13, 2013 Saturday 10 – 5:30, Sunday 1:30-5:30. To register for either weekend workshop, click here!Fill in the workshop fee after you click the Buy button at the bottom of the page. You can use paypal or any credit card (you don’t need a paypal account).
Mark your calendar for Breitenbush, the end of June! We will be looking at all aspects of what we consider to be flaws in the body, and Un-doing our beliefs about them. Stay tuned if you’d like to join me and Susan Grace Beekman from June 26-30, 2013. You can change your internal beliefs about what you think bodies should be like….and change your entire experience of being in yours.
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