Tag: teenagers

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Inquiry: letting your grown up out

Slow down. Let your feelings show you your stressful thoughts. Do The Work….Ahhhhh.

From time to time, someone I do The Work with says something like this:

“I don’t know what I’m thinking. I just feel awful. I wake up anxious. I overeat. I drink. I smoke. I have a dull job. I’m not sure what I’m doing in my life….How do I do The Work on all this?”

LOL. (Kind of. I know it’s not that funny when you’re in it).

I love how the mind looks at “all this” (your entire life) and keeps things foggy, uncertain, unclear.  Awareness is in a holding pattern of…..“I have no idea what’s going on, I just feel bad. Gosh.”

One thing that can help if you’ve had this overwhelmed uncomfortable feeling, is to first, focus on one troubled feeling at a time.

For example, if someone says they feel anxious (I can relate as a former anxiety junkie) I might ask “What does that feeling look like? What color is it? Where does it land in the body? What’s the temperature? What’s the texture?”

As the person focuses on the feeling, they’re turning towards it, not away.

If they feel MORE anxious for a moment, and they start to feel pretty nervous, I might do The Work with them first on the belief “I am not safe.” Or “Feeling this isn’t safe.”

Is it true?

No.

Who would you be without this story you aren’t safe right now, feeling this feeling?

What’s the turnaround?

 

I am safe. Feeling this is safe.

And now….noticing you’re safe, if your feeling could speak, if you let it bring you the message it wants you to know, if you considered this feeling a gift rather than an enemy you need to get rid of….

….what does it have to say?

Sometimes, the awareness is instantly far more lazer sharp.

The other day, I watched my own mind follow this very inquiry, landing on the stressful belief.

My teenager daughter, off at college, is far less communicative than I anticipated. She rarely calls, she hardly ever texts, and I’m so curious about her daily life, her classes, her friends, who she’s meeting, what she’s learning, what she’s thinking about.

I have to wait, though.

Until a weekend break, or whenever she returns home.

I love her so much, and miss talking with her. I’m also awed by her independence and feisty strength. She’s not clingy, not needy, and has no desire for my opinion or consult. For now, this seems incredibly healthy and beautiful.

So the other night, I look at my phone before going to bed and realize this daughter, such a wonderful curiosity, called 45 minutes earlier.

Wow!

Even though it’s late and I was about to turn out the lights, I immediately return the call. (She naturally didn’t leave any message).

“Oh hi mom! I’m five minutes from home, just about to get off the bus!”

REALLY?!

She walks into the cottage moments later and I am so, so happy to see her. Big embrace. She’s doing a homework project, and since it’s a long weekend (Monday is a holiday) she’s home for 2 nights

Then, I say I don’t get why she didn’t let us know she was coming?

Her: I did let you know, jeez, I told you about this weeks ago!

Me: But I never knew you had actually decided to come, I had no idea. Plus I thought you said you were sick?

Her: Being sick has nothing to do with Not Coming, I only have a cold. I can’t believe you didn’t realize this, I told you I was coming, like, ten times.

Me:  I didn’t know! You should communicate more clearly!

Her: I did!

Me: You didn’t!

(Variations on the theme You Did and You Didn’t ensue).

My daughter and I eventually go through texts on both our phones, and discover she never received a few important texts from me, and I thought her replies back were matching other completely different questions, and the whole misunderstanding and confusion was based on text and cell phone tech failure.

It’s like the Who’s On First Routine.

So we laugh, and embrace again and agree it’s late and time for sleep.

Especially because her step-dad and I are leaving in the morning at 6:30 am for an overnight in Canada, just over the border.

As we load our little carry-on bags into our car in the beautiful early morning, I’m aware my daughter is sleeping soundly in her bed.

She’s home.

And we are leaving.

How did this happen? If I had known, I would have stayed in town. Rats.

Anxious flutter. Images of her being alone all weekend in the house going here and there and me not getting to cross paths with her, see her, listen to her. I think about how beautiful she looked, coming into the house with her gorgeous dark brown hair and grey blue eyes, grey tights, cute polka dot skirt and black jacket.

On the car ride to the pier where we’re catching an early boat, I feel jumpy. We shouldn’t be going. I don’t care about this trip. I get seasick. This won’t be fun. I need a massage, not a holiday. There are too many people in this line (the boat is sold out). I can’t meditate. Complaining.

But then rather than skipping around to generalized complaint mode, finding something wrong with the moment and my feelings in addition to whatever else is in the environment, I stay with the feeling that’s anxious.

And then….the true stressful belief appears….*ping*:

I need more time with my daughter.

People think this all the time in a very deep and troubling way with someone who is dying, or a break-up, or when saying goodbye for a long period of time.

I need more time with them than I’m getting.

So let’s do The Work!

I need more time with her, Is that true?

Yes! So true! I can’t BELIEVE I’m traveling AWAY from her when I want to get to know her more and….

Stop. It’s a simple question. Can you KNOW this is absolutely true that you need more time with anyone?

No.

How do you react when you believe you need more time with her?

Choked up. Sad. Longing. Images of the future. Images of the past. Melancholy. I feel like turning around and to hell with the money my sweet husband spent to surprise me with two days away.

As I’m seeing the present moment, the gorgeous high cliffs of islands, the Puget Sound, the misty rain, the white choppy waves, the magnificence of where I am located….I dismiss it. I think Somewhere Else is better (at home with daughter).

So who would I be without this very stressful thought that being somewhere else is better than where I am, and I need more time over there?

Who would I be without the belief someone else’s company, another location, a different experience, more time with a person who is not here physically….is required for my happiness?

Woah.

Laughing. Laughing at the absurdity of it all. As if my thoughts had control of the universe. Noticing that with the thought, I’m missing the beauty of this location (except fortunately, not really).

Without the belief I need more time with someone else, I feel the glory of being alive and having eyes, ears, fingers, breath. I remember my father, who died quite young it seemed, and how doing The Work on his absence gave me the incredible gift of having him here in my heart at all times, and no dad to miss.

Without the thought that I need more time with my daughter, I simply sit here, noticing I adore her.

Turning the thought around:

  • I do not need more time with her.
  • She needs to spend more time with me.
  • I need more time with myself.
  • I need more time with what I’m spending time with (look around).

I don’t need more time with her, because I’m aware that even if she’s home, she has mega plans with other people. Not me.

She needs more time with me? Yes, as the kind, listening, adoring mother I am. I could go visit her soon, instead of waiting for her to come home.

I need more time with myself, with reality.

There is no requirement for time, I notice, in the universe. Time is limited in this physical body. Sometimes, humans are here for a very short time. Only months, or a few years. Sometimes, 19. Like my daughter.

I need more time with my own thoughts, with my feelings, with myself, with my environment.

Yes. I get to notice the splashing drops on the window, the great vast salt water sea, the low hum of this clipper ship motor, the snow capped mountains sharply rising off one side of the boat, my appreciation for remembering to take Dramamine (motion sickness medicine) which my husband kindly asked for.

I get to notice how very much I love this apparent daughter, and how it is right that we are independent beings. She should be able to easily live without me, and I without her. It doesn’t mean love between us isn’t just as vast as this ocean I’m sailing on.

“That nothing is static or fixed, that all is fleeting and impermanent, is the first mark of existence. It is the ordinary state of affairs. Everything is in process. Everything—every tree, every blade of grass, all the animals, insects, human beings, buildings, the animate and the inanimate—is always changing, moment to moment. We don’t have to be mystics or physicists to know this. Yet at the level of personal experience, we resist this basic fact. It means that life isn’t always going to go our way. It means there’s loss as well as gain…

If you’re going to be a grown-up—which I would define as being completely at home in your world no matter how difficult the situation—it’s because you will allow something that’s already in you to be nurtured.” ~ Pema Chodron

Your answers, already inside you.

Let the uncomfortable feeling lead the way to the thought lead the way to growing up lead the way back home.

Much love,

Grace

Upcoming Events, Click any link to read more:

Sunday Living Turnarounds Group 3-6 pm 2/26

March 18 East West Books Dissolving Eating or Body Image Issues with The Work 3-6 pm only $25

Spring Retreat Seattle area May 11-14

Breitenbush Hotsprings Oregon June 21-25

Summer Camp for The Mind Virtual Daily Inquiry Jam 2017

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Not Objecting to What Is with teenager, a laptop, and a queue the size of Montana

breakingfree
Life. A love story.

Ohhhh, yeah.

This is gonna be FANTASTIC, I have the BEST ideas.

I’m going to give my daughter a going-away present for college. Called my mac laptop airbook, the one I’m writing on right now.

Sure, it’s used. But it’s soooo amazing. It’s traveled with me without having one single weird or bad thing happen to it, oh trusted laptop, for 4 years. It’s got some good life left in it.

I need to upgrade so I can better support my classes and retreats. I need way more memory space on my machine. I’ve got curriculums designed, extensive feedback, photos to archive, and no one can find how to pay me on my website. Ever. Videos to make, podcasts to share. All created more easily on the new, faster-better laptop.

Win. Win.

I’m all excited. I tell her I’m going to do this, I can finally afford a device with more memory, and I’ll help her get all set up on mine.

She looks at me like….What??! Are you serious??!

“But mom, your computer will probably crash in one year. Macs are so junky, you have to upgrade them all the time. They only last five years! I don’t want that old thing, jeez!!”

Uhm. OK.

Not so Win Win as I thought.

This is not the first time, with this kid of mine, that I have it not only slightly off, but ENTIRELY WRONG.

However, I feel something inside and it’s different than the way I used to feel when she said things like this or surprised me with her reaction.

Calm.

Like, a shrug. Oh, OK. Got it.

I didn’t pursue it one more second. I’m not that surprised, I’m not hurt, I’m not having much of any reaction at all. (Every so often, wondering what she’s thinking about computers and if she needs one, then I forget about it).

A month goes by.

Daughter is leaving for college in 2 days. She approaches me as I sit on the couch writing.

“Mom….I don’t know what to do about a computer. I’m going to need one badly at college. I’m nervous.”

I look up and again, total calm–shocking. I say “remember I mentioned you could have this one?” I raise my laptop off my knees and tip my head.

“It’s all yours if you want it, I just need to get a replacement and figure out for sure if I can afford the upgrade.”

“Oh….I didn’t realize that’s what you meant before. Really??!!! That would be AWESOME.” She comes over and hugs me.

I have one day to go into the Apple Store and see what they’ve got, before she leaves for college, but I can’t tell you how different this pace and flow is from the past. The pace on the inside is total calm. The flow on the outside is just a relaxed ‘OK, we’ll see what happens’. No emergencies. No urgent wild freak-out. No saying she should have brought this up earlier, or figured it out weeks ago.

No saying “I TOLD you before and you were ungrateful, rude, and now it’s too late and rag, rag, rag….”

I just saw her cute eyes and her enthusiasm and her relief, and who knows what that was before, with the “junky macs” commentary. She didn’t even seem to remember it, and I didn’t require we go back there and review the “mistaken” communication in the past.

I’m just sayin’ here….there are results that I can find no other reason for happening than The Work.

I’ve sat with fuming feelings within around this daughter. I’ve felt hurt, and lost. I’ve felt confused, and shocked she doesn’t love exactly the same things as me. I’ve been mad she doesn’t vacuum before I have to ask. I’ve been startled at her forceful comments.

I’ve written a few worksheets.

I’ve imagined and felt what it would be like to Not Have The Belief she’s hurting me, she’s opposing me, she’s against me, she’s disrespecting me.

And now, I feel such gratitude for how much I love her and how wild and unexpected she is, like the weather, like reality….but always safe for me (I’ve never been hurt in her presence except by my own thoughts).

She’s been caring, challenging me. Like the ultimate “life” coach. She minces no words. She calls me on my B.S. especially when I expect people to like what I like.

TA: This is going just right.

I head down to the Apple store to check out the new goods, for myself, and get their help wiping my old laptop clean so my daughter can start fresh with her own stuff

Only….a small hitch.

There’s a line around the block of people waiting to get in to pick up their new Iphone 7.

For some reason….this is HILARIOUS.

I even go back 7 hours later and find….it’s even MORE crowded during early evening. They tell me no one can help me, too much hoopla over the Iphone thing. I’ll have to come check out new laptops another day.

I learn about ordering online, later, back at home.

Because I got to come back unexpectedly fast from the Apple Store, without anything new in my hands…..I got to see my former husband (father of my kids) bringing pizza over, talk to my son who stopped by for a couple of hours, help out with car-loading for the departure to college, and laugh.

Life is so funny.

This is strikingly different from what it used to be. When life was serious, irritating, gloomy and pointless.

Thank you, self-inquiry.

Thank you, “is it true?” question.

Thank you, imagination.

Keep going. Don’t stop doing The Work. This is definitely different, like a very, very, very slow dawning of the light. This is what being undisturbed is, on the inside. It’s OK if it leaves again (probably will) but oh what joy to get a taste of not objecting to what is.

Ha ha!

“Anyone in harmony with what is has no past to project as a future, so there’s nothing she expects. Whatever appears is always fresh, brilliant, surprising, obvious, and exactly what she needs. She sees that it’s a gift she has done nothing to deserve. She marvels at the way of it. She doesn’t make a distinction between sound and no sound, speaking of it or living it, seeing it or being it, touching it or feeling it touch her. She experiences it as constant lovemaking. Life is her own love story.” ~ Byron Katie in 1000 Names For Joy 55

If you feel like practicing for four whole days next month, Thursday through Sunday October 13-16, then join the small group (maximum 14) Fall Retreat. We’re half way full. Seattle. Non-residential. Awesome. Come on over to my house. It will be good. Sign up here.

Much love,

Grace

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Teenage Ninja Wars

angrygirlpluggingears
Bowing (on the inside) to the one who doesn’t want to hear me. Who would you be without your teenager story?

Breitenbush has glorious spots available in two beautiful cabins, a space for one man to share a cabin, and a few more sweet lodging options. They’ll open up these best lodging spots to the general public on June 1st, so calling now is best to register. Speedy quick! Breitenbush is June 22-26, beginning the evening of Weds with dinner and ending Sunday lunch.

We’re together every step of the way through investigating a deeply important stressful situation…and soaking in the wisdom of The Work and our inquiry. The natural mineral hotsprings and old growth forest are yours to experience outside of our sessions together. It’s an exquisite time, worth 26 CEUs for mental health practitioners and 24 credits for candidates of the Institute for The Work.

I love to say….”question your beliefs, have a wonderful summer” 2016. Everyone who signs up for Breitenbush automatically receives access to Summer Camp for The Mind, a 7 week daily blitz of The Work from July 5 through August 19. You could dial in almost every single day to keep soaking in The Work and stay connected to the practice of inquiry.

************

The theater lobby doors open, and people begin to pour out of the dark standing ovation in the final performance of the high school spring musical.

My college-aged son, his girlfriend, my husband, and me all find each other and lean in one area against the packed space, waiting for daughter to emerge, knowing she could be awhile. We discuss the play amongst ourselves. Did you like it?

We talk, wave to people we know as they exit, watch delightedly as some of the actors mill through the lobby still in full make up and costume, holding flowers.

Daughter appears.

OMG that was soooo good, we exclaim. We talk about the story line, what an interesting choice of musicals and some problematic parts (did you see the one actor trip and nearly fall)?

I feel so proud of my daughter as she’s been on stage crew, behind the scenes quite literally, on stage.

This is her last theater production, but her first on crew–not acting or dancing.

I’m amazed she’s never felt left out for this show, she’s enjoyed the whole thing, been so willing and helpful and able. Not one comment of disappointment. She’s had a ball!

During the production, as I watched all the dancers (tap shoes, lots of complicated steps) I am struck that the cast is smaller than I thought. Something inside me feels totally understanding why my daughter didn’t get a dancing/acting part. Everyone on stage had a lot of dancing skills….and it’s not like there were a ton of dancers, either. Fewer than I thought, look at that.

So I begin to say something along these lines to my daughter out loud as we all stand together in that moment, like “wow, they were so skilled it makes sense you didn’t….”

She cuts me off.

“Why would you say THAT??!!”

Uh oh.

Everyone is listening. I’m confused. I feel on the spot. I’m embarrassed. Wait. She’s not hearing what I’m saying. I’m not saying it right.

I give her an icy stare. I feel hurt. Like I want to say with Steve Martin humor (only no one’s laughing)…..

…..”well excuuuuuuuuse me!!”

I actually say “you don’t have to speak to me like this….”

“Well, no one knows what you’re talking about!” she replies.

I go quiet.

Thoughts develop like rabbits, like a fountain of me-the-victim. I drive home separately from everyone else since I came separately. Good. Time to think. Time to see what the heck happened in two seconds of words. Fume. Sad.

She disrespects me. She doesn’t get me. I’m an idiot. We will NEVER get along well (don’t you love these grand broad forever statements), she finds me an embarrassment, I can’t connect with her, this hurts too much. Teens are too hard to work with. I take back all my awareness of how great we are together. Nevermind! (By Nirvana!) 

Deep breath.

Is it true I’m a victim? Is it true she hurt me? Is it true I hurt her? Is it true everything should be said so no one gets hurt, under any circumstance? (LOL) Is it true we should communicate perfectly? Is this troubling story, and all its baby rabbit thoughts….true?

Oh. What a question. Is it true? Wow.

No.

How do I react when I think I should be respected, and this looks like DIS-respect? How do I react when I feel hurt? Or I worry I hurt someone else? Or someone didn’t hear me right….called my daughter?

Ugh. I think “I VANT TO BE ALONE”! (Say it with a Hungarian accent and a lot of drama, put back of hand on forehead and fall backwards into the couch).

But joking aside, it feels so uncomfortable.

With the thought, I’m very sad. I feel an arrow go into my heart. I defend. I attack. I say things like “NEVER…” and “ALWAYS…”

So who would I be without this thought that my daughter hurt me, in the moment she cut off my words? Or that I was bad because I hurt her, or did it wrong?

I would feel the energy of STOP coming towards me as she spoke. I would stop.

I would trust the universe, reality in this moment, is making an important declaration through the voice of a teenage daughter. I would notice I have no idea what my daughter is thinking, and I’m making a zillion assumptions about her and what she’s experienced being on stage crew.

I would give a little bow, on the inside, to her direction.

I would not feel hurt. I would not defend. I would not tell her how to speak to me. I would not be disrespectful. I would notice the healing element of silence. I wouldn’t have to do a thing.

Turning the story around:

She respects me deeply. She gets me so well, she picks up that I might be talking about her lack of a part on stage before I even say so fully, (maybe not something she wanted to hear in that moment). I’m not an idiot, just bumbling about saying what’s in my head without a filter. I could use the refinement. I can find other examples. 

More turning it around:

We will ALWAYS get along well (don’t you love these grand broad forever statements), she finds me to be someone she can speak honestly to, I CAN connect with her, this hurts ME too much to be telling my internal story (that has nothing to do with reality). Teens are easy to work with–bam. I know where I stand. We are great together! 

Nevermind.

Nevermind my whole story. Never. Mind.

“The mind is so conditioned to move away from it [peace] that it will try to argue with the basic fact of peace’s existence within you: ‘I can’t be at peace yet because I have to do this, or that, or this question hasn’t been answered, or that question hasn’t been answered, or so-and-so hasn’t apologized to me.’ There are all sorts of ways that the egoic mind can insist that something needs to happen, something needs to change, in order for you to be at peace….
….Just imagine for a moment that this isn’t true. Even though you may believe that it’s true, just imagine for a moment: What would it be like if you didn’t need to struggle, if you didn’t need to make an effort to find peace and happiness? What would that feel likenow?” ~ Adyashanti

Even with daughters and foot in mouth?

Yes, even then. Especially then.

Much love, Grace

P.S. If you have a child, or a parent, or someone in your life who has apparently caused a disturbance within….come to Breitenbush. We’re almost full. You don’t have to bring THEM, just your own mind. Enter what Byron Katie calls the Great Un-Doing. You can tell, feel, think a different story.

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My Sister Is Sooooooo Irritating

Hello Dear Inquirers,

Several people have written to me about teenagers, inspired by my recent posts. Pre-teens as well. Why do they act that way? Why so dramatic? Why so short-tempered, or irritable, or rude? Have you done the work with teenagers?

Teenagers may have a reputation for “acting out” but really, perhaps they have some important reason for being so hostile. They may have something incredible to say. They also may be able to be less complicated, and catch on quickly to new ways of looking at something.

I have not done The Work often with my amazing children. But they see the benefits of their mother questioning her thoughts about them, I can guarantee it.

There was, however, one amazing moment where my children were fighting, and The Work sprang forward as the thing to do, right there on the spot.

My son, the older sibling, was saying something under his breath that my daughter (who admires her older brother) was perceiving as mean.

As usual, my son’s voice was quiet, I couldn’t hear the content. Then my daughter screamed “that is SO MEAN! I hate you!” at her brother.

I think he may have chuckled or scoffed. It wasn’t taken favorably, it seemed to incite the rage already present in my daughter.

Of course, there I was noticing from the other corner of the room my thoughts talking to me: they shouldn’t fight, here we go again, I must stop this, the noise of screaming is horrible, I don’t know what to do…

But somehow, in that moment, I remained in the seat of the observer, like the Work was working me and I wasn’t believing these thoughts…everything happening at once, but seeing a broader view of it all.

When there was a moment of red hot, angry silence, I said to my daughter: “what are you thinking right now that is really bugging you?”

In an angry voice, with her eyes burrowing like lazer beams into her brother, she pointed at him and said “he HATES me!”

I asked her then “Is that absolutely true, are you positive?”

“YES!!!!!!!!”

“You want to do The Work questions?”

“NO!!!!!!!!!”

Then my son said “I’ll do The Work!”

“Well, what are you thinking right now about your sister?!” My son replied “she is so irritating”.

My daughter hit her hands on the table. But stayed seated near her brother. I could tell something was OK about all this…at least I thought so. She wasn’t crying. She didn’t storm out.

“Is it true that your sister is irritating?”

Pause. “Well….not all the time.”

My daughter leaned back in her chair, not so on edge, defensive, ready to pounce.

“What would it be like right now if you didn’t have that thought that she is irritating?”

“I guess everything would be cool….but I HAVE the thought, so I’m not even sure. Calmer I guess. Maybe.” My daughter unfolded her arms. She was very interested in listening. All ears.

“What is the opposite of your thought, the complete opposite?”

“She is not irritating. She’s cool.”

“Can you find an example of how that is true, even right now perhaps?”

As my son found the examples, and then found another turnaround that HE is irritating, both kids burst out laughing. The whole thing was 10 minutes.

I couldn’t have planned it that way.

It seemed like they went from zero to LOVE and humor in 10 minutes. A wonderful example of the beautiful world of strong, intense, dramatic teenage thinking, for me.

Much love,
Grace

Turning Relationship Hell To Heaven In-Person Intensive Seattle 12/1 10 am – 6 pm.

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Teenage Drama Inquiry

“We’re leaving our home for a one-year adventure”. My parents announced this to me and my three sisters when I was 14.

I would miss my entire freshman year of high school in the US.

At the time, I had no idea the changes I was about to experience. My teenage thoughts were like this: I will miss good stuff here at home, I don’t understand why we are going, some of the countries we are traveling to are weird, one country we’re visiting called South Africa is really messed up, our dog will miss us, people will forget about me, I’ll be behind in school, I’ll miss my friends. NOOOOOO!!!

My parents were scraping the money together to do this. Selling things in order to be able to go. My dad had a teaching job lined up in South Africa first, and then London, England.

My parents were so enthusiastic and excited. Traveling the world was like a dream come true for them. Just being around them, I SORT OF felt excited about the possibilities. Seeing strange and unusual things. Maybe. 

If it was my choice, however, I would have chosen to STAY HOME.

One of the strangest and yet common experiences humans have in growing older, maturing, learning and “seeing” is when something you once thought you understood is no longer the same, because you now know much more.

Before that one-year journey with my family (we traveled to ten countries) my world appeared full. I wondered about many things. I was constantly thinking about the novels or books I was reading, my friends, boys, clothes, my appearance, my sisters…and sometimes concerned about death, God, goodness, badness, success, happiness, life.

But not until actually going into the unknown world and observing, watching, and listening did my world become bigger. And I didn’t do it. It was not my idea, it was not my plan.

My parents led the way. They were inspired for their own journeys, and I came along with my sisters as a part of the adventure. This shifted things in a way I would have never, ever chosen if it was up to me.

Many of us think about the difference between something happening TO us, or us makingsomething happen. We have pretty strong thoughts about something being completely unplanned, instigated or ignited by someone else, and what we intend or implement ourselves.

It can feel like the stuff we “make” happen we have control over. The other stuff we don’t.

The thing is, we actually don’t have much control over anything.

Anything could happen, at any moment of the day. Even when we stay home.

Other people get crazy ideas, offer interesting perspectives, say things, do things, come and go, change it up. On first glance, what they are doing may not seem good. Not helpful. Not fun. NOT productive. NOT what I want. (Like my parents’ crazy travel adventure).

Doing The Work, questioning your assumptions, your fears, your belief that THIS IS NOT GOOD….can actually change your experience of the situation.

What if you don’t know whether it’s good or not? What if there actually IS something just a teensy tiny bit good about it? What if what is happening might lead you somewhere else, in another unexpected direction, better than you could imagine? What if your mind grows bigger, your life expands to another broader perspective?

“Every thought, every person, every apparent problem is here for the sake of your freedom. When you experience anything as separate or unacceptable, inquiry can bring you back to the peace you felt before you believed the thought.”~Byron Katie

When I was 14, I thought I had a problem. A big one. I was being RIPPED from my first year of high school full of people and fun stuff happening!

It was one of my biggest wake-up calls of my life. One I am incredibly grateful for. I soon had a much, much bigger interest beyond my little life…and what I learned, and the connections I made, I didn’t realize would continue to be important, even today.

Traveling the world like I got to do is easy to think of as a Big Fabulous Opportunity. Most adults think so. But to me at 14? It was a Big Horrible Disaster.

What is happening in your life that is calling you to expand your mind, open yourself up to seeing it differently, not be so AGAINST it?

Are you feeling like a teenager? Maybe acting like one? It’s only fear. It’s only imagining that what is to come couldn’t be as good as what you previously expected. It’s only thinking that keeping things they way they are is best.

And here’s the most fun news of all: Maybe you don’t have to run the show. Maybe something else wiser (like parents) or the universe itself knows an even better way than the one you’re dreaming up.

“The Master does his job and then stops. He understands that the universe is forever out of control, and that trying to dominate events goes against the current of the Tao…” ~Tao Te Ching #30

Much love,

Grace

Turning Relationship Hell To Heaven In-Person Intensive Seattle 12/1 10 am – 6 pm.

Horrible Food Wonderful Food Weekend In-Person Intensive Seattle January 12-13, 2013 Saturday 10 – 5:30, Sunday 1:30-5:30. To register for either weekend workshop, click here!Fill in the workshop fee after you click the Buy button at the bottom of the page. You can use paypal or any credit card (you don’t need a paypal account).

Mark your calendar for Breitenbush, the end of June! We will be looking at all aspects of what we consider to be flaws in the body, and Un-doing our beliefs about them. Stay tuned if you’d like to join me and Susan Grace Beekman from June 26-30, 2013. You can change your internal beliefs about what you think bodies should be like….and change your entire experience of being in yours.

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