Carl Jung said “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The latter procedure is disagreeable and therefore not popular.”
I like to tell the story that when I first bought Byron Katie’s book Loving What Is I kept it on my bedside table for about six months. Without opening it.
You mean I have to read it?!
In some ways, I already questioned absolutely EVERYTHING about life. Why do bad things happen? Why do good things happen? How come some people are super successful financially and others are not? What’s the deal with humanity…we all seem like such a mixture of love and hate, war and peace? Who am I anyway? What will it be like to die? Who or what is God? What is life for? And while we’re at it, where can I get some relief from all this thinking? Jeez!
If I took even one second and looked deeper than the surface with all these fast-moving questions, then I saw that I was NOT HAPPY with the fact that I didn’t know the answers.
My conclusion: it is NOT FUN to think about these big questions. They have no ultimate answer…and it all seems like a big mess of chaos. I used to say “it’s a cesspool here”.
Quick, where’s the fun? Let’s go THAT way! QUICK!!!!
Notice the “emergency” feeling to this energy. Fear is present. This was not “wow, what a fun looking place this earth is, let’s see what’s going on and find the fun!” It was more like “Get me outta here!” I came to know this cycle as “addiction”. Unfortunately, it also isn’t fun. Bummer.
I love the quote by Aldous Huxley “Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.”
Sooner or later, you HAVE to question your thinking….or not. But it will be much easier if you do. It will change all your stressful feelings. Your fear will dissolve.
I had a wonderful therapist once who described that the learning process for life lessons and awareness could be of varying “burn” levels. You could get sunburned, and learn to question your thinking afterward….or you could get a first degree burn, and work with that….or you could get a second, third, or fourth degree burn…and then really have to look and put aside all other interests, since there you are with a huge “burn”. Life will give you what you need.
The good news is that it really doesn’t have to “burn” physically at all. I notice that this is the case when I do The Work. I sit down with one concept, situation, experience that is painful….no matter what degree…and I look again and again at what is happening in my darkest thoughts. I get these terrible, nasty, mean, horror-movie thoughts out on paper.
Now after doing The Work for awhile, I notice a question like I had when I was a child (like I’m sure you have had as well) and I feel differently inside. It’s like my heart is excited and open to whatever is possible.
Why do bad things happen, or good things happen? Well, I’m not even sure which ones are “bad” or “good” anymore. I realize everyone is succeeding in just the right way, right on time. Humanity is a great, wild, beautiful, mysterious collective of war and peace, all of it possible, all of it changing and moving. Who knows?
Who am I? I mean really? What is life for? Who or what is God? What is death? Now I can ask these and not be frustrated. I used to be MAD and SCARED at these questions. Because the answer was “I don’t know!” and I didn’t like not knowing things! AND I’m pretty sure the answer is frightening.
What if today it was fine to not know what you are doing, who you are, and what your life is for. What if you didn’t think you were a failure or bad for yourself? What if it was OK to be peaceful right now?
What if you just notice what you feel drawn to do, what you feel compelled towards, what you notice you want? What if you are the most amazing, wise, wonderful friend you could ever have….to yourself?
“People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head; it is actually done by the heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it”.~ Anthony De Mello
By unraveling the thinking behind painful feelings, you get to see yourself without those feelings. Who you really are….pure love.
With love, Grace