Tag: year of inquiry

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The greatest gift: a way to see beyond illusion (join Year of Inquiry)

Barrier #1 in the recent masterclass presentation I gave, on where we get snagged when doing The Work of Byron Katie, is maybe the biggest, most widespread, most fog-inducing, discouraging barrier of them all.

The short version is, it’s the I-Hate-Myself barrier.

When you feel at war with reality, but mostly, with the reality of YOU.

Here’s a Peace Talk about it I made for you.

In the end, all roads through The Work lead back to this “self” we’re imagining ourselves to be in the presence of others, in the presence of God/Reality/Source/Life….
….and finding we are not who we thought.peacetalkcover

Who are you, without your thoughts about you?

(Can you hear the silence and not-knowing-how-to-answer this question?)

Now, here’s the strange thing about this very deep and cosmic question:

I would have never come to wondering who I was without thoughts about even myself, were it not for doing The Work on many other things and people and circumstances and situations besides myself.

Doing The Work on others was the key.

As I’ve been kind of repeating lately, excited about what Byron Katie invites us to….do The Work on Mother, Father, Sister, Brother!

Doing The Work on everything else under the sun, and going way back-back-back….

….is the way forward.

In the upcoming Year of Inquiry (some incredible people are signing up OMG I’m so excited) we have a topic every single month, for ten months….

….with a free-for-all Summer Camp session in the summer of daily inquiry on anything, for everyone.

I mention this because people have been asking me how I came up with topics for Year of Inquiry, and why do we do The Work on others anyway?

So many people hear about The Work and get this sense of freedom, and immediately think “I’ll apply it to ME, I’ll finally change, I’ll improve myself and stop being so full of complaints.”

But it doesn’t work so well, oddly enough, to do The Work on yourself.

It’s so much easier and more profound, and so much more clearly and paradoxically ON YOURSELF when you do The Work on other people, places, topics and things. You can see these other things easily, with lazer sharp clarity and precision.

So in Year of Inquiry, we start with what annoys you in any way whatsoever. Anything. You name it. You call it.

The first month, we start with what you notice is disturbing, and it doesn’t even matter what it is.

After kicking it off with just where we are, we move into FOO.

Family of Origin.

And from there, many other common topics all of which create fear, worry, irritation, and sadness.

We look at our Complaints, Hurt-Anger-Fear, Money, Body, Love, Goals & Desires, The Worst That Could Happen, and Loss.

How did I come up with these topics?

I listened to all the clients, groups and retreats (and my own worksheets) filled with people who have come to inquire over the years. The same themes come up over and over.

So we start at the very beginning (I always hear Maria in the Sound of Music singing when I say this) followed by looking at FOO, as I already mentioned….and then we continue by noticing what we complain about, daily, weekly, yearly, or every time we run into that person? What’s going on when we complain?

As we move through complaints, we become more comfortable with feeling our stress, and seeing the feelings as useful pointers to our thinking. What happens when we feel hurt, angry, or afraid? What brings these emotions out in our lives?

What about money? What’s enough? Who has it, and why, or why not? What makes it so scary, or disappointing? Where did I get the money I use–is it OK with me? Do I like to receive? Do I like to work? What is money, to me?

And of course, the body is an area filled with stressful concern. We look at the Body in our sixth month. What do I dislike about this body I seem to live in? Whose body is it? What happens when it gets injured, or feels pain? What about other peoples’ bodies?

Then there’s love….oh my…love. (Huge topic of stressful thinking). Who have I loved, been attracted to, bonded with, slept with, broken up with?

In the seventh month in Year of Inquiry, we explore Goals and Desires, because these are so expected, wanted, planned for so many of us. How can we have a goal, and love what is, at the same time? We get to take a look at what we’re thinking and believing that’s painful when it comes to having dreams for the future, and working towards something.

Finally, we spend basically the last two months before Summer Camp diving deeply into a powerful and troubling topic: The Worst That Could Happen. We’re basically looking at our terrible fears. We’re asking, when it comes to any situation we encounter that feels uncomfortable, no matter how “light”….what we’re most afraid of, in our situation?

All of these are huge, wide-open areas of human suffering, and as a human (for those of you who are humans reading this) then you’ve probably experienced concern in any of these common areas of discord, worry or fear.

Something’s going wrong.

I shouldn’t have to experience this.

Strangely….only by combing through what appears as a concern outside of me, in all these areas, have I ever been able to actually stop all those self-critical nasty thoughts about myself, and let go of agonizing about what is.

Practicing The Work unravels stressful thinking. It unravels suffering.

Who would we be without our stories? About others, and most importantly about ourselves?

What I have found, is we would be pure love, and peace, and freedom.

If you want to do The Work in a dedicated, committed group of inquirers for an entire year, then join me in this gift of inquiry.

Early Bird sign up lasts until August 19th, so you’ve got time to think about it (there is no urgency and no emergency) and after that it’s still a very inexpensive way to get and stay connected to dedicated time for self-inquiry through every season of an entire year.

Everyone in Year of Inquiry has sixty days to fully participate in the experience before making a final decision—there’s only a fee of $100 for the first month, or another $100 for the second month of the program, if you choose to withdraw….even if you didn’t decide to withdraw until Halloween you’d only pay $200.

I do this on purpose because I want only people to continue through the year who deeply know they like the process of inquiry, not just the idea of inquiry.

Everyone gets two whole months to sample and sink into the experience of this meditative work by participating in all the telesessions, our first two monthly webinars (September and October), and partnering if they choose with other members of YOI.

After two months of seeing what it’s like, most people get the sense of what doing The Work regularly, every week, may do for their inner world and their lives. If it’s not for them now, it’s OK.

What I know is….when I came into The Work all I wanted to do was question thoughts about myself and what I had done wrong (I’ll tell you more about my first true inquiry session in the next Grace Note).

Then I followed the simple invitation from Byron Katie and the steps of The Work to identify judgments I had about other people, the world, money, bodies, being alive, love, and what I thought of as reality.

Looking at all of these, I truly did The Work on myself.

Freedom didn’t happen in an instant. It unfolds daily, with every time I ask “is it true?”

This Work gives the mind something it loves to do: rest.

To not rely so heavily on “figuring” everything out. But instead, to wonder what it’s like without thinking.

How fun is that?

“To have a way to see beyond illusion is the greatest gift.” ~ Byron Katie in Loving What Is

To read about Year of Inquiry, which begins in September, head over to here.

Much love,

Grace

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Chronic People Pleasing (+ new Autumn Retreat dates)

Autumn Retreat Seattle: October 13-16, 2016 (new dates). We begin Thursday morning. Four days of The Work, with special invitation, as Byron Katie herself encourages us over and over again….to go back to FOO (Family of Origin).
Come do The Work on who bugs you, what you’ve learned that feels difficult or painful, what consciously (or unconsciously) drives you to compulsive behavior (if that’s your thing, like it was my thing) and how to look at old underlying beliefs formed long ago….
….even when you can’t remember the situations vividly, or who all was involved, or what happened next.
peoplepleaser
Did your people-pleaser efforts start when you were very young? You don’t have to die with them….it’s called The Work!
….”Do The Work for breakfast. Mother, Father, Sister, Brother.”
Have you ever felt like it’s hard to remember the past, though?  Or difficult to access the feelings of trouble and upset from way back?
You know you experienced hard times, confusing times….
….but part of you is so glad it’s over, maybe decades ago, you’d rather NOT go back there again, ever.
Or maybe if you’re like me, there are many murky but non-traumatic memories where the impact was not terrorizing—I had a pretty great childhood overall to be honest—so you’re not sure how to identify the thoughts running at the time.
Well, there’s good news.
What I’ve seen, after doing The Work for awhile with myself and others, and circling back to those old and possibly difficult memories, is a huge amount of peace and awareness can be discovered, even from ONE SINGLE childhood situation or very old experience that hurt.
All you need is one situation to start with.
And if you’re having a hard time knowing where to begin, here’s one exercise that may jog your memory or help you recall situations that feel like ancient history.
You’ll be “mining” for disturbing situations, like you’re going into the center of a tall dark mountain looking for precious gems.
Get out your journal or writing device.
Pick only one age-range, I recommend a maximum of 5 years.
So for example, you might say age 5-10. Or age 12-17.
You can even pick only one year, if you feel a heaviness or overwhelm about scanning much of your childhood. Just “listen” to your heart and mind for the time period to return to.
Or, ask someone you know to pick a number between 4 and 18.
Now you’ve got your age number, and your mission is to review that time in your life.
Set the timer for 15 minutes, and write everything you remember from that time period in short, bullet-point situations, with the emphasis on what felt uncomfortable, confusing, or hard.
Now, let me just say here. This can cause a little resistance sometimes.
It appears we’re actually trying to cough up the hard experiences from deep down under in the past.
You might think….really?
No one has to do this, but I’m here to say….it’s worth it.
The other day, in Summer Camp for The Mind which is underway with daily inquiry right now with all the Summer Campers….
….someone who watched and listened to the recent masterclass on barriers to “getting” The Work had a little lightbulb go off on how much her father’s criticism seemed to align with her own criticism of herself.
Instead of doing The Work on herself (which hadn’t worked so well for insight so far) she decided to go back to when she was ten years old and remember being in the presence of her dad.
She read her worksheet aloud to us, and then did The Work on the belief “I can’t please him”.
What struck me was the way everything she thought her father was thinking about her, how difficult he seemed to please, and how impossible…..
…..was exactly the same way she viewed that moment, and herself, and him. Her ten year old moment was full of arguing with reality. Her dad should be different. And so should she. Pleasing anyone was impossible. He’s not pleased. She’s not pleasing. She’s not pleased. He’s not pleasing.
What a profound thought to unravel and un-do and question.
Who would we be without our ten-year-old belief “I can’t please my dad” or “I can’t please my mom”?
I sat with this, and again right now, feeling and wondering who I would be, holding very still as I remember myself feeling “ten”.
Sitting with who I would be without this belief about pleasing my parents, I become aware of a feeling of being alive.
That’s it.
Nothing more, except aliveness, a life force in a body called “ten-year-old-child” without stressful beliefs about who is or is not pleased, and that nothing is required to improve or fix the situation.
I notice I remained safe (unharmed physically), I continued to grow, I was breathing, I carried on with school, and life unfolded with sometimes adults being pleased, and sometimes not….and sometimes me being pleased and sometimes not.
What if pleasing happens, or doesn’t happen, and it’s not personal?
Turning the thought around:
  1. I can’t please myself (especially in the presence of the person who I’m worrying about pleasing). Yes, with all the hand-wringing and efforting to please….whether mom, dad, teacher, or God….I lose my center entirely and become one big gigantic unpleased person.
  2. my dad/mom can’t please me (yeah, not when they’re acting THAT way). They needa get happy, ASAP. I won’t be pleased until I see them snap out of it, smile, or feel content.
  3. I CAN please my dad. Oh. True. When I did, when I do.
So much insecurity created, since pleasure seems to come and go!
“As long as you perceive that anyone is holding you back, you have not taken full responsibility for your own liberation. Liberation means that you stand free of making demands on others and life to make you happy. When you discover yourself to be nothing but Freedom, you stop setting up conditions and requirements that need to be satisfied in order for you to be happy.
It is in the absolute surrender of all conditions and requirements that Liberation is discovered to be who and what you are.” ~ Adyashsanti
Wow.
Free from asking anyone else, ever, to be pleased? Or for life to make me pleased only under pleasing conditions? No requirements, no conditions? No wish that others stop being critical, no wish that others be pleasing?
No desire to change even…..myself?
How very odd.
And yet….pleasing.
Much love,
Grace
P.S. If you’d love to come take a dive into The Work for four days, join me and other amazing people (including Year of Inquiry participants) for the autumn retreat October 13-16, 2016. Read about it right here. If you’re signing up for this new amazing year of inquiry full program….it’s included. Read all about Year of Inquiry here.
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Fear is a trance. Inquiry wakes you up. Join others to support your trip Home.

koalagrouphug
doing the work with others brings connection, sharing, love, the end of fear….freedom

Tuesday night, at the closing of a beautiful four day retreat, all the people assembled gathered in a circle to share their take-aways from the time together.

We had just completed four full days of watching Byron Katie, and the awesome people in her live audience, streamed from Switzerland. Eighteen people from our local community in the Pacific Northwest joined me.

We copied the pace and structure of the event in Switzerland, and held complete silence in between all the video sessions with Katie.

There is no comparison to watching this online retreat with the group who gathered here in my neighborhood….

….vs watching by myself at home and attempting (not) to remain in silence in between sessions, and do my own inquiry work on disturbing situations I’ve encountered in life.

My mind is a bit tricky to hold silence for 4 days, relax, listen, and do in-depth work on my own.

(Although, I could question that).

But here’s one of the coolest things that happened. It’s not the first time, but oh so sweet to feel and see it occur again.

Everyone felt close, felt loving, and felt connected even though some people didn’t even know other peoples’ names until our closing circle. 

People drove from Canada, from Oregon, from all around Washington state. People have flown before from California. All to share the silence, and drinking in Katie’s words AND the words of all the beautiful people who share live at the retreat.

I already can’t wait until next year.

So here’s the thing.

Sharing the time together is incredibly helpful if you get stuck in thought-loops when you’re on your own. If you feel isolated, or introverted about your inner world. Or shame about what you’ve been feeling and thinking.

The way my mind used to work.

(Well, it still races off in this direction, it’s just I’m totally getting what Katie talks about, that I don’t believe what it’s saying! Halleluia!)

But this is the way it went before:

1) Something happened that felt a little uncomfortable, or really awful. Shocking. Or mildly irritating. Doesn’t matter. I don’t like it. It’s a bother. I’d rather it was different.

In other words, Reality is not perfect, in this situation.

2) KABAM. Mind is crunching down around the “problem” trying to fix it, adjust it, change it, get away from it, destroy it, rip it to shreds, complain about it, run away from it, avoid it, solve it, erase it.

Never questioning for One Minute that there’s a problem. It assumes there IS one. And it’s here! No doubt whatsoever.

3) Huge amounts of energy, fear and terror, lack of sleep, isolation, loneliness, depression, anger, waiting, sadness and suffering follow.

4) Things cools off (but they aren’t really forgotten, they’re in the files).

5) Something happens. Go back to #1.

When I first learned to do The Work, I inserted a step between 3 and 4.

It went like this:

3a) Consider I might be wrong about this terrible situation. It woudl be good if I was mistaken about this. It would potentially mean less stress and fear, less worry and upset. I might feel better. But my mind can’t actually be WRONG! Wait! That would be terrible! Go back to #4 and continue.

But then I got together with other people.

Other people also interested in questioning their thoughts and beliefs.

Instead of pausing for 5 seconds at 3a and moving to #4, my thought process began to add 3b.

3b) Take out a piece of paper and start writing down a few thoughts, wildly, with passion, with nervousness. Maybe get all the way to questioning a stressful belief using The Work, starting with the first question “is it true?”

Ditch this process. Too boring. Too slow. Too cumbersome. Too ridiculous. It doesn’t work, and it’s not going to work in the future.

Go back to #4.

Ahhhhhh, but then came The School for The Work.

Sitting slowly with a whole group of people, and Katie facilitating. There, together, we sat for 9 days over and over again questioning stressful situations. Seeing what I had objected to, in some cases since childhood. Going through all four questions of The Work, and finding turnarounds.

If it hadn’t been for being in a group program, I would have left for a movie.

The kind where you eat popcorn and it’s about someone else’s life, not mine. Preferably with a happy ending.

After The School, I really got that connecting with other people, sharing in the discoveries, telling the truth about my thinking, does something so deep. It created intimacy and dissolved shame, fear and embarrassment at what I had been calling “my” thoughts.

Wow! I thought. There aren’t new thoughts, and I’m not a Special Case (like the only person The Work doesn’t work for, or the only person who had “x” happen and can’t get over it).

After seeing and experiencing the power of the group spending time together to question and BE in inquiry, I noticed something interesting had happened.

2a) The paper comes out, and a pen is fetched, and I remember and consider doing The Work after #2. I get some insight. I feel relief. I step back from my “problem”. I maybe even get excited. I do not necessarily move on to #3!

Then….after more practice and more time spent partnering with other people, sharing The Work, facilitating and receiving facilitation from other human beings….something VERY interesting happened.

#1 occurs. Something troubling happens.

1a) The paper comes out, I get a pen (or open my laptop) and I’m writing down my judgments and answering all the questions on the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet RIGHT AFTER #1.

I realize I might have been over-reacting. A new way to handle the situation pops in my head. I feel calmer. I get the sense in not such a scary way that I might not know what’s really going on. I might laugh.

And then…..

….I bet you can guess what happened next.

I began to sit down with pen and paper, before anything appears to have happened (#1) and actually go through memories ON PURPOSE to find events, disturbances, situations I thought I forgot all about after #4.

I no longer wished I had forgotten about those things.

I notice I hadn’t, even when I wanted to. Not really.

This unraveling and uncovering all the dark corners of my past, and diving into inquiry to address these memories, have mostly happened during retreats and partner work with others.

Now I’m not saying it’s impossible to do on your own.

I have LOVED sitting now, and doing The Work all by myself.

But hands down….the best is when I am supported by the energy of other human beings (or just one other partner) sharing the inquiry together.

Sometimes you just want someone to hold your hand, or give you a hand up, or take your arm as you’re walking along the path, or laugh with you. It allows you to notice you’re not mad.

It’s made all the difference in the world to me.

Who would I be without my stressful thoughts?

Grateful beyond measure to everyone (and to Katie) for coming along for the ride, and noticing….

….I’ve had support, connection, others and life sharing All This with me the whole time.

I just didn’t see it.

If you feel isolated and stuck, or lost when you try to inquire, or you get obsessive and aggravated with your own thinking, or you think you’re the only one not getting this….

….then you may be ready to join the next and newest brilliant version of Year of Inquiry.

I am so touched and excited by each and every person who says “yes” to this adventure.

There are several new components to Year of Inquiry, but one primary thread: doing The Work together. Not leaving you on Planet Mars to fend for yourself in outer space without the four questions or without your own answers.

The most amazing people show up for inquiry together for a year.

You may make a friend you’ll know when you’re 85 years old. People in Year of Inquiry from previous years continue to partner and share with people they met in their first YOI. I get notes all the time from participants. Some people return over and over to YOI, as this work has become part of their transformational life practice and they know they want community for it over time.

Registration is open for early bird Year of Inquiry 2016-2017. If you’re curious about what it’s like, read on:

We meet three times a week via telesession (free for anyone from all over the world through the internet). You come to one session a week, or all three–you get to choose.

We’ll do immersion into deep partner work, especially for everyone interested in credit with Institute for The Work of Byron Katie. while this is optional, it’s an amazing process for people who want to learn the one-for-one way of partnering taught in the Institute for The Work (ITW).

We meet twice in Seattle, Washington (optional) for 4 days for two retreats. People fly from all over to be together. We also have a monthly webinar (new) on our topic and to review best practices for The Work and going deep into Q &A.

While we have ten powerful topics for inquiry during our year together, everyone in YOI also has access for free to at least 2 other teleclasses I teach on some of the same topics (money, eating, relationships, sexuality, pain/sickness, parenting) for no charge. Local YOI folks enrolled in the FULL program can also come to my monthly Deep Divers Sunday closed group that meets October through June.

It’s quite simply, a HUGE INCLUSIVE WELCOME to everyone who wants to stay connected throughout the entire year to all the brilliant people who show up to do The Work together under the apparent umbrella organization of Work With Grace.

I do this because I love The Work and I love exploring the truth and I love waking up.

I couldn’t do it without you.

If you’d like all the information about Year of Inquiry, please visit and read this page. You can scroll down for the logistical details to the bottom of the page including dates, times, and the fee schedule.

You can choose the Whole Shebang (everything including retreats) or Everything Except Retreats (for those more available online via phone/computer).

So excited to see who joins the new YOI. You are already part of my heart and soul. Everyone who has gone before you, all the other participants, have helped make this a better and better program over time, with improvements and sharp clarity, and a brilliant awareness of what works.

I can’t wait. This is gonna be better than ever.

And I’m talking about what we’ll discover about Reality.

If you’re not up for this huge commitment of an entire year, or you don’t have the funding….look for a meetup in your area, find a partner, go over to my facebook page Work With Grace and share that you’re looking to trade The Work with someone (I might be able to pair you up), call the Help Line, come to a retreat.

This work doesn’t require anything, except a willing, open mind….and I know if you’re here, you’ve got one!

“Take thoughts in as if you were a lover. Thoughts are the Beloved. If you don’t love them, you’re at war. Invite them in, put them on paper, make love….Fear is a trance. Inquiry wakes you up.” ~ Byron Katie during Being With Byron Katie

Much love,

Grace

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Heaven Comes Into View After I Did The Work

Heaven comes out of the pages of your work and into your world
Do The Work in your journal, notice heaven within, notice heaven all around…..home again.

I have to admit it.

I haven’t done The Work in writing in almost 3 weeks, until today.

And let me tell you, questioning stressful thought on paper is stunning.

I’ll tell you about it in a minute, but first…..

…..I can’t wait to start questioning thoughts that create suffering again with Year of Inquiry folks next week.

Everyone enrolled will receive an email from me with all the dial-in information on Monday.

You’ll have four time choices to come on board and do The Work–and yes, this will be your opportunity almost every single week for the entire year. (The last week of every month we generally don’t meet, so we can breathe, connect with our facilitation partners if we have them, digest, and….notice what it’s like WITHOUT inquiry).

The best way to stay in touch with the experience of inquiring into my sadness, irritation, anger, resentment or fear about anything in life is to have some scheduled regular consistent time to do it.

In Year of Inquiry, that’s what we’ve got together: Tuesdays 5 pm Pacific, Weds noon PT, Thursday 9 am PT, Fridays 10 am PT.

Come to one, or come to all.

Me? I’ll be at all of the inquiry sessions every single week, since I’m the organizer…..

…..and since, for some odd reason, life has unfolded so that this person called Grace Bell gets to do The Work a lot, and not quit.

I never planned this.

But because I have this role in life, doing The Work and being so deeply interested over and over again in questioning thought….

….there’s a freedom about being here as a human being that is brilliant and wild and truly astonishing that I always, always had but couldn’t see before (even though it was always there).

I created Year of Inquiry because I can hardly believe how helpful, how life-changing, doing The Work became for me over ten years ago, when I dipped my toe in the water.

And lately, like I said, I have NOT been doing The Work with pen and paper for nearly 3 weeks.

Yes, not one time of sitting down, writing out my thoughts, and considering what’s happening in my mind that’s affecting my actions, behavior, mood, connection with my environment  or connection with silence in the rich, slow way offered by The Work.

There’s Good News and there’s Bad News about the way life’s gone without doing The Work daily, as I usually do when I’m living in the same place every day.

(I’ve been traveling for 3 weeks and my computer crashed, and my cell phone has spotty wi-fi reception and I didn’t bring a notebook or journal and I’ve been very busy seeing important things….and who knows what other excuses I can list all very legitimate).

I’ll start with the Bad News.

Because that’s where The Work starts.

We’re not trying to be positive or happy-happy or stiff-upper-lip or getting a new technique that will be The One that works for all time to allow us to be wonderful amazing productive successful people, like we always dreamed to be.

No.

The Work starts with the juicy, sometimes ugly, chaotic and wild beliefs passed on from generation to generation through being a human being and having a mind and the capacity to think, and feel.

The Work starts with feeling.

Feeling bad. Feeling upset.

And then, instead of trying to smash down, or get away, or escape, or go to war with the reality of this discomfort–sometimes heart-breaking agony–we wait.

We slow it way down.

We get to investigate what’s being “thought” and concluded and assumed. We get to identify the ideas and pictures and the feelings we carry within from experiences or interactions that feel threatening or difficult.

The way I always was before The Work is I noticed life and people and difficulties, and I thought what I was thinking was True.

Something terrible just happened. This is bad. It could happen again.

It hurts.

Quick, do anything and everything to make it not hurt. Make it go away. Please, make it go away.

Before I had The Work and knew what to do with stressful thinking, I was on a quest to feel better and end my suffering and I wanted angels, guides, wise mentors, a zap of lightening to the head, awakening, transformation, God, magic.

Anything to end the pain.

With The Work I see myself as having a spark of every single one of these qualities. It’s like I am my own guide, and I take me with myself everywhere I go.

Even if I am thousands of miles from my “home” (my home is really everywhere and nowhere) and I don’t know the people around me (not actually required or true, everyone is so beautiful and fascinating, and human).

These qualities of angelic guidance, wisdom, lightening zaps, awakening, transformation, God and magic are within me and available to me any time by becoming silent, slowing down, questioning what I’m thinking, asking if what I’m believing is really true.

They are available to me by doing The Work.

You have these qualities, too.

I cannot tell you today how happy I am to be able to borrow another computer (since mine crashed on Day #2 of this long journey) and sit down and do The Work.

I had thoughts zooming through. Stressful ones.

(You probably notice how fast the mind is….faster than the speed of light!)

My mind was giving me some Bad News.

Thoughts like “my son is going to get lost walking through the night-time dark streets of London to meet up later” or “my daughter is going to fall and hurt herself” or “when I get home, I need to get a regular job because this volatile income I can’t take anymore” or “the people staying in our house hate us because the dishwasher broke” or “they owe us because they broke the dishwasher!” or “the world is so full of human beings, what are we all doing here?” or “the weather is crap” or “traveling is overrated” or “I wanna go home.”

Now, because I have gotten to sit down and get quiet and spend time with my thoughts, I’m remembering the joy inquiring brings.

I’m remembering at a deep level the peace beyond all beliefs.

Being human means, apparently, I carry along a mind full of thoughts about everything I notice around me.

Which brings me to the Good News.

Remember I said there was some Good News?

The Good News about NOT doing The Work daily while traveling?

The good news is that in this moment AFTER doing The Work and questioning my very stressful beliefs, I have the most intense, deep, moving appreciation for investigating my thinking, and for this brilliant, powerful mind that goes along with me everywhere.

Here’s what I have found in my turnarounds today as I’ve taken time out to sit quietly:

“My son is going to be found walking through the dark nighttime streets of London to meet us later” and “my daughter is going to fall and then heal” and “when I get home, I already have an irregular job (facilitating The Work) and I CAN take it” and “the people staying in our house do NOT hate us because the dishwasher broke” or “no one owes me anything, hooray” and “the world is so full of human beings, it’s amazing we’re all here” and “the weather is gorgeous” and “traveling is just traveling” and “I am home, always.”

I notice how when I do The Work and I feel what it’s like without my stressful thoughts, and I find turnarounds, my thoughts all blend together and connect and expand.

I sink into a smile.

I am so, so grateful for The Work after noticing a pile-up of thinking without entering it more deeply.

It is no small thing to come across this simple way to question suffering.

Suffering appears to happen. Life bumps us up against hardship, physical pain, destruction, fear, confusion, and death.

There is no getting away from any of it.

But with The Work, I remember over and over again (just like I have today) that it doesn’t matter if I believe I can handle the suffering or not…..

…..I notice the truth is, I do.

If you’re here, you’ve handled it too.

Even if you think “that was too much, I’m too screwed up, it’s too painful, I can’t take it anymore” you can and you are.

You are amazing, really.

We all are.

The mind is busy, running on, doing it’s job of protecting and trying to understand and control the environment…..

…..and life unfolds as it does.

I notice my thoughts sometimes go to visions of bad events, or terrible things happening. My feelings sometimes move to sadness or terror.

But something brilliant and wild, beyond all thought, is at work.

Doing The Work, I realize for the thousandth time today, allows this mind to slow down, to rest, to Not Know what’s true.

It allows me to feel the Silence Present here where I sit (which happens to be rocking gently on a barge on the River Thames in London, England).

I remember, with The Work, that I have no idea what’s going to happen today. I can make a few educated guesses, but really, I have no idea.

With The Work, this is great news instead of alarming news.

The difference is so incredible, it’s hard to put into words.

All I know is, last night I was thinking “traveling is hard, expensive, pointless, tiring, scary.”

And now I’m open to the turnarounds “traveling is easy, priceless, expansive, restful, loving.”

It was my thinking that was hard, expensive, pointless, tiring and scary.

I even remember that traveling is wonderful, and not traveling is also wonderful.

It doesn’t really matter.

The most exciting traveling happens internally with The Work. It’s an exploration of the whole world of suffering and peace.

I hope you’ll join me for steady inquiry throughout a whole year, to learn, grow, rest, access silence and Not Knowing, refine your life journey no matter what age, circumstance or situation(s) you’re in.

I can’t wait to get started, and get back to regular inquiry again with others.

My appreciation after this gap in practicing The Work is bigger than ever.

If you know you’d also love the structure of group support and scheduled inquiry time, check out the Year of Inquiry (link below) and get ready for the greatest adventure ever (you won’t need to physically go anywhere, unless you come to our retreats in Seattle).

With The Work, I discover peace to be possible in every kind of place, in every situation. You don’t need to travel in the way I’ve been traveling, or do anything special, or find the golden key.

You question your stressful thinking, you Un-Believe the way you see your life, other people, and your world.

Your inner life becomes the Greatest Adventure on Earth.

Wow.

“So, how do you get back to heaven? To begin with, just notice the thoughts that take you away from it. You don’t have to believe everything your thoughts tell you. Just become familiar with the particular thoughts you use to deprive yourself of happiness. It may seem strange at first to get to know yourself in this way, but becoming familiar with your stressful thoughts will show you the way home to everything you need.” ~ Byron Katie

Will you join me back at home, your home you carry everywhere but may sometimes miss due to stressful thoughts?

It may sound a little crazy, but all you need is a pen, paper, and to answer four questions.

What you discover can become your new world. Heaven right here on earth.

Much Love,

Grace

P.S. Year of Inquiry starts on September 8th and you can attend once a week, twice a week, three times a week or four times a week. You can listen to the recordings. You can skip whole weeks altogether. I’ll work with you up to four times individually during the year, you decide when you need your individual sessions.

You do YOI your way. I create the scaffolding, you clean up your thinking at your own pace, what’s right for you.
P.P.S. You are awesome.

 

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Inquiry Helps A Decision Make You

People have written, called, emailed…..and one lovely woman in a rain-covered jacket knocked on my door yesterday, in person, to hand me her registration for Year of Inquiry.

I love this.

How sweet to connect with others this way.

I was reflecting last night on the words “deadline” and “early-bird”.

So boring really. Frequently used when people are offering things for purchase or registration or sale or trade for some kind of financial number.

I suddenly remembered the etymology (the origin) of the word deadline. I looked it up a couple of years ago.

What a drastic word, right?

It was invented during the Civil War in the United States, around 1864, when guards were instructed to shoot and kill anything that moved over a do-not-cross line. Prisoners trying to escape.

Hmmmm.

This is not the intention, energy, feeling or sentiment within me when it comes to saying today is the day to make a decision (in this case about Year of Inquiry, although you might have another kind of decision in your life that you call “deadline”).

Will it mean the death of your opportunity, if you don’t decide on yes or no right now?

Unlikely.

I used to feel dreadful about decisions. Agonizing about them. Making lists of pros and cons. Thinking about the risk, the loss, the gain, the advantage, the future.

But sometime after I found The Work and self-inquiry, I heard Byron Katie talking about the concept “I need to make a decision.”

And how it wasn’t true.

Then I heard Adyashanti (another favorite teacher I’ve spent time with) and HE questioned the concept “I need to make a decision.”

And how it wasn’t true.

I wrote down this concept so it was right in front of me in words.

Because I thought at the time, almost ten years ago, that I needed to make a decision about the request from my then-husband about whether or not to get divorced.

Then I did The Work, rather than “try” to make a decision.

Who would I be without the belief “I have to make this decision” or “I need to” or “I must”?

So much lighter. So much more natural.

Noticing I felt worried, but I just plain did not know yet.

Turning this concept around to try it on the opposite way…..“I do NOT need to make a decision”.

I kept noticing how this was also true, more true.

Despite those advisors who suggest “not making a decision IS a decision” (say this in a slightly parrot-like voice for effect).

Whatever.

I notice, if it’s right for me (even if it feels scary or sad or mixed) then at the fork in the road, I turn right. It it’s left for me, I turn left.

If I really don’t know, I sit down at the fork in the road and stay awhile, until something moves me.

I find without the thought that a decision needs to be made, in my own business work when organizing and creating Year of Inquiry, a much more spacious, moving, open……even feminine way of gathering a group to join together appears.

It’s powerful, and mysterious and unknown as well.

Powerful does not mean lazer-focused and sharp like a sword.

Or deadly like a deadline.

I have done The Work on business practices and what you are “supposed” to do when you provide a service for others, and what practices should look like (based on recommendations by business experts) when you’re running a business.

They are just not always true.

Who would you be today without the belief that you need to know right now what to do, in any situation presenting itself in your life as an invitation?

If you don’t know, you can wait. Mull. Reach out. Have a conversation. Mull again. Analyze. Jump!

My favorite turnaround of all when it comes to stressful beliefs about decisions is this one: A decision needs to make me.

I notice the direction my joy travels. I watch the way my pleasure moves. I open up to what is happening right here, now.

I trust that what is best for me, the highest good, is unfolding perfectly, in the right timing for me, for you, for the world.

“You are the wisdom you’re seeking, and inquiry is a way to make that wisdom available whenever you want…..You can’t have an up without a down. You can’t have a left without a right. This is duality. If you have a problem, you must already have a solution. The question is, Do you really want the solution, or do you want to perpetuate the problem? The solution is always there. The Work can help you find it.” ~ Byron Katie in 1000 Names For Joy

If you want to investigate a problem, a decision, your solution, your life, your mind….I am here as a facilitator for your work, which becomes our work and my work.

And if you’re signing up for Year of Inquiry, or another 8 week class (scheduling soon) or the new business building class I will be starting this year (also to be determined when)…..

….your work becomes the group’s work, and others also support you in your enlightenment.

You can sign up for Year of Inquiry here, and remember if you need more time to gather your thoughts and discover your own decision, that is the way of it, the way it is.

Nothing will die.
Until it does.
Year-Of-Inquiry
starting in September

Retreat: September 25-27, 2015, here in Seattle (we start 9:30 am Friday and end 5 pm on Sunday).

If you’re doing telesessions only, the first week begins Tuesday, September 8th.
undefined Click here for Year of Inquiry full program with retreats in Seattle
undefined Click here for Year of Inquiry TeleSessions Only
If you need a payment plan for the year, now’s the time to ask. I will make it work for you if this is the work you want to do.
Much love,
Grace
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The Easiest Way To Not Believe Everything You Think (and signing up for YOI)

the open sky of life with inquiry
the open sky of life with inquiry

I’m so excited to see who is enrolling in Year of Inquiry.

I feel like I’m meeting the remarkable group who will be joining me for an intimate year in looking into reality.

We’re interested in seeing what is really true, and what isn’t, and practicing using imagination and awareness of what is present to see more clearly.

Recently in a group I was facilitating something happened which happens ALL THE TIME.

An inquirer read her worksheet in our telesession and we began to do The Work.

I asked her the four questions, starting with “Is it true?” (I love that question).

Everyone who could relate closely to this very same stressful thinking shared their own experience, and when we got to the turnarounds, the woman who started the inquiry on her stressful situation was stumped.

“I have no idea how I could turn this thought around, I can’t find an example.”

I asked everyone on the call if they could find anything, an example that might fit.

Someone found an example from a friend’s life.

Then someone else found another example from their own life.

Someone else then said they had an example that she could find that might work for the inquirer’s life, based on what the inquirer had shared about her situation.

When we were done investigating and looking at all the turnarounds, the person who had started with her terribly stressful situation, her worksheet, her despair…..

…..shared the thing that happens all the time.

“I would have never found these possibilities, if it had not been for all of you on this call. Thank you soooooo much. I think I’ve made a crack in this belief system. I can see how closed I was to any other option. I really couldn’t have done this on my own, sitting here doing The Work by myself in my living room.”

I can relate.

When I was doing The Work by myself, I wanted to hit the road doing something else ASAP.

Just whiz by and feel lighter.

The last thing I wanted to do was sit with something agonizing, or horrible, or sad.

This morning an inquirer who has been in Year of Inquiry for the entire year (we were all saying goodbye this morning) shared that she was woken up at 7 am by a phone call from work, asking that she respond immediately.

(It involved someone speaking Russian with such a thick accent, she could barely understand the request).

She did all she could for her job, but then said…..

……”Excuse me now, I have an important meeting on the phone.”

Our YOI call.

She shared with us how she’s learned that inquiry is top priority, her most important work.

It trumps everything else.

She shared that even if she wanted to keep working and handle that apparently critical issue, it was more critical that she was here, with us on our phone call.

The most important thing I do in my life is question my stressful thinking.

Only this changes my suffering, in the most efficient, direct way.

Yes, hard things still happen.

Scary, sad, surprising things. Things I sometimes think I can’t handle.

But with inquiry, I understand it is the way of it.

I am a human being having a life, feeling what its like to be a truly free human.

Knowing this in the end…..that all is very well indeed, no matter what I’m thinking.

Because I don’t have to believe everything I think.

It’s all going the way it goes, anyway, no matter what I think, right? I may as well enjoy the ride.

If you’re joining Year of Inquiry, you’re in for a treat (I sure am).

Tomorrow’s the early-bird registration deadline. I know a lot of you are about to say “yes” and I am so honored. I bring my deepest love, creativity and ever-evolving way of working with mind to this new year.

It will be a good one. We’ll do new things, we’ll try new ways.

Below are buttons to sign up for 2015-2016 Year of Inquiry (sorry for those of you who have been trying on my web page). Hopefully this makes it easier! I’m a goofball with the links sometimes!

If you’re new and haven’t yet filled out the Q & A application form, so I can get to know you, please do so right here.

And welcome aboard.

undefined Click here for Year of Inquiry full program with retreats in Seattle

undefined Click here for Year of Inquiry TeleSessions Only

If you need a payment plan for the year, now’s the time to ask. I will make it work for you if at all possible.

Much love,

Grace

 

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Inquiry: A New Pair of Glasses

newglasses
Inquiry: a new pair of glasses

When I left my very first School for The Work of Byron Katie in March 2005, my feet hardly touched the ground.

I looked at the whole world with a new pair of eyes.

I kept shaking my head in disbelief, thinking….

….wow.

I’ve never seen the sidewalk, people, carpet, airplanes, cars, water fountains, life….like this before.

I know that sounds a little cray-cray.

But there was an inner revolution happening called looking-without- certainty-what-I-think-is-true.

It’s not necessarily all roses and rainbows.

Not knowing what is true can be strange and disconcerting. At least for that mind that loves having a task, and Knowing Stuff.

Some of the floating, amazed, wondrous feeling I experienced, however, fizzled away just a bit over time.

I actually didn’t sleep more than 4-5 hours a night for 9 months.

I felt like I was riding a strange, unknown, wave….

….and my life was turning upside down.

The insight, when I look back, came first, before all the super-huge changes.

First, I raised my hand to do inquiry. I read Loving What Is, then I went to the School for nine days.

I knew I wanted to challenge my assumptions. I wanted to do this more than I wanted stability, certainty, or guarantees.

I was really moved by wanting to understand the truth for myself, not through any doctrine, or ideal, or religious or spiritual teaching (even though I loved the religious groups I had been a part of). I did not want to suffer. I had suffered so greatly, I wanted out.

I didn’t even want a special teacher. I didn’t want Katie herself to be my guru (and I soon realized she didn’t want that either).

I wanted life, and my own inner mystery and source, to be my guru.

But I really did want to take my newfound capacity to inquire, after that first school, into an alive, expanding practice.

I wanted to do The Work all the time.

What would that look like?

I noticed, after a little while, I didn’t do The Work every day like when I first got home.

I could hardly keep up, it sometimes seemed, with the quantity of stressful thoughts my mind would spew out.

Then more days stretched between reacting, and sitting down and doing The Work. More days would go by without me writing a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet on stressful experiences I encountered.

Sometimes I would sit down, though, and write with great concentration and depth about a situation that had disturbed me.

Then I would have such sweet awareness. I loved it so much, I loved the investigation. I loved the lightness.

I am so lucky.

A friend called, who I had met at that very same first school, and asked if I wanted to become partners in inquiry together.

I knew immediately to say yes.

We met on the phone every single Monday morning at 8 am Pacific Time. I was unemployed, looking for work, and she had Mondays off. She lived several states away.

We had no idea how long we would go, how much we wanted to do it, what would result.

It was amazingly good.

Almost every Monday, without fail, we met for two hours on the phone (I didn’t have skype yet or know what it was). Yes, I was actually holding a phone, putting it on speaker phone for some of the time, for two hours. We hardly missed a Monday for two years.

I inquired into my own very stressful and painful thoughts. She inquired into hers. We almost always had whole Judge Your Neighbor worksheets written out. We held each other to inquiry.

I also gathered with almost 20 people for a reunion, all of whom had been at that same very first School for The Work. Many of us traveled by plane and car to get to the home of the wonderful man who hosted us all.

We created our own Morning Walk (a silent walking meditation offered by Byron Katie). We partnered up for inquiry sessions. We shared meals and talked into the night about questioning thought.

It was brilliant to stay connected to others doing The Work, and to practice, practice, practice without it being a demand, or a chore, or something I was supposed to do.

I’m sure, today, having these experiences made me realize how gathering a group to join for inquiry practice is essential for some of us.

At least, if you’re like moi.

Creating a group format or structure is not just kinda nice, like a hobby or something….

….It’s a life changer.

It’s the difference between actually inquiring into stressful thought, and thinking it’s a good idea but not trying it.

Which is, I am sure, why I kept going and kept doing it and kept participating and kept pressing on.

Inquiry became so deeply interesting, it finally stuck inside in a way that grew more automatic.

But here’s the thing that may surprise you.

I STILL notice a gap between the stressful experience occurring in my life (an exchange with a person, an issue with money, trouble in the physical body) and beginning inquiry.

My mind kicks into gear with reaction, with contemplating something, noticing, wondering, uncertainty, fear, emptiness….

….and I’ll be following a trail of thoughts, maybe even down a rabbit hole within a few minutes….

….before *ping*….

….Grace, you could inquire. You could do The Work. Remember? The questions? Is it true? Are you sure?

Ohhhhh. Right.

Wow, that mind is a speedy one.

What a genius project manager!

Which is why I personally love entering inquiry every single day, with other people.

It’s incredible. It’s built into my daily life. For all I know, it’s saving my life.

I’m the one who needed, apparently, the constant contact of doing The Work with others. Groups, individuals, classes, meetups, retreats, intensives, immersions.

And one of my favorite things in all the world is being able to pick up my phone, or dial in with skype and my headphones, and have people show up from all over the world to answer the four questions together.

It’s a unified spirit of dissolving our personal suffering.

What could be more supportive and incredible than that?

Pretty soon, the Year of Inquiry program will open for applications and sign-ups. This is a collective spirit of coming together, with a new topic to guide us, every month for a year.

We start in September.

Our tele-sessions are Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays at three distinctly different hours so your time zone might fit. Come to one session, or come to all.

Retreats (optional) are in September 2015 and May 2016. (They’re awesome).

If you’ve been wondering how to stay in touch with your own inquiry, if you’d like to have a group to carry you through a year of identifying and expanding your mind to understand your own inner life (and outer life, too, I find) then consider joining us this year.

Curious and want to know details?

Click HERE to read all about it. (You can fill out the info/application form there if you’re ready. Decisions made by August 15th.)

Much love,

Grace

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Doing The Work For A Year

End Your Suffering, Do The Work
“You either believe what you’re thinking, or you question it….there’s no other choice”. ~ Byron Katie “OK, I’ll take questioning it.” ~ Grace Bell

After many requests and inquiries about the dates, times and plans for Year of Inquiry (YOI) group for 2015-2016….

….plus someone recently saying“put me on the list for YOI this fall, I’m definitely in!”….

….I thought I’d let you know YOI is coming kinda early, so you can decide to apply once I open up the application process.

If you’re drawn to dive into this ongoing work with others in a deep, committed way, and you’ve found you don’t do The Work as regularly as you’d like, YOI may be for you.

 [stextbox id=”custom” caption=”Year of Inquiry Applications Open In July–Program Begins Sept 2015″][/stextbox]

YOI is a small group of inquirers from all over the world who meet together for a year, starting in September.

It’s not a training to learn exactly how to facilitate inquiry (although you will).

It’s not a certification or something you need to pass or graduate from (in fact, people re-enroll year after year).

This group consists of people dedicated and deeply intending to jostle their stressful beliefs loose from their conditioned ways of relating to people, to themselves, to life. To wonder about their troubling stories. To practice catching their stressful thoughts that can take off like a bullet, and begin to honestly slow down, slow down….

….and discover the awe of being what it’s like to not believe stressful thought.

Wow. It’s a such an incredible journey.

And not easy to do alone.

In fact for me, impossible.

I began self-inquiry using the Work of Byron Katie in 2003. I joke around (although it’s basically true) that I didn’t really actually DO The Work until I attended the School for The Work in 2005 and was surrounded by people questioning their beliefs every day for 9 days.

Then, I did The Work in earnest.

I got what it could be for me.

It was a new way of life, entirely. It became deeply compelling. Even a matter of life or death….a way to not move like a magnet towards negative drama, suspicious thinking, worry, anxiety, anger, terror.

It felt like I moved in and out of a sea of stressful thought daily. I began to see the nature of my mind. So worried all the time. So freaked out when “bad” stuff happened!

I was like a nervous ninny about life. I thought I needed to control myself….all the time, in practically every way.

Love, money, friends, health, family, partners…..oh my! So much could go wrong! So much imperfection in the world!

Back in 2005, I made a huge leap into peace when I discovered the value of questioning my stressful thoughts.

It wasn’t easy for me. I didn’t see any changes right off the bat. But fortunately, I knew to not focus on results. (I learned to not EVER do this, eventually).

Instead, I learned to be in this moment now, inquiring into what felt painful to think.

I knew I was hooked.

I also had a mind so fast, it would compulsively scream (on the inside) that being at peace was dangerous, or not possible, and that I should be on alert like a coiled spring!

I went on my first longer meditation retreat that same year, in 2005, and found myself so busy mentally during the immense silence, I couldn’t sleep well, I had vivid dreams, and I felt like I might go crazy.

Talk about drama.

A short while later, through beautiful unfolding circumstances, I became a facilitator of this work.

First and foremost, it felt like a gift of the deepest joy to ME.

Yes, it was selfish. But finally, in a good way.

Before I learned self-inquiry, I was selfish in a very self-critical way. I felt self-hatred, fear, rage and confusion about being here as a human. I was at war with reality, which included myself.

I constantly had questions: what is life for? why am I here? what’s going on? what should I do? how do I calm down? how can I become a better person?

I had done therapy, workshops, read a thousand books, been on a spiritual hunt for peace.

But finally, I had a way to inquire into my compulsive anxiety, my addiction to thinking and believing I was what I thought.

I have now practiced inquiry for these past ten years, with the support of all of you who show up in my life to share this amazing process of awakening and the discovery of peace.

It’s very simple really.

The mind likes complicated. It wants more, bigger, better, more …. endlessly.

But in YOI, we keep it simple, and through this simple structure in Year of Inquiry, we commit to answering the four questions, hearing other peoples’ answers, working under the umbrella of a new and often-stressful topic every month, and sharing in the enlightenment journey.

Together, we’re waking up to reality, one inquiry session at a time.

The way Year of Inquiry works is, first….

….you get to stay connected to inquiry for an entire year.

Year of Inquiry starts in September 2015 and ends in June 2016, with a virtual summer camp for July and August also included for every YOI member (Summer Camp For The Mind is an intensivedaily 5 weeks of inquiry set up to keep you deeply in the process–you can join any sessions you like).

All that’s required for regular participation in YOI is being able to dial in with your phone or with skype (it’s free) to a private teleconference line.

We have virtual inquiry sessions 3 times a week (at different hours) for 3 weeks every month (usually the first three).

You can sign up for telesessions only, if you live very far away like Indonesia, South Africa, Japan or Germany (we’ve had people from 7 countries and 10 states participate).

Or, you can sign up for the Full YOI Program and join me for a fall and a spring retreat, each 3 full days (Friday-Sunday) of exercises built to help identify stressful thoughts, personal cleansing inquiry, and sharing with like-minded people who learn the truth of who you are.

As one Year of Inquiry member wrote recently, in our 8th month of inquiring together:

Grace,

So, here’s what I’ve been noticing in the last few days.  I have stressful beliefs ALL OF THE TIME.  I had never even recognized it, but knew something might be off in the way I felt (emotionally or physically).  I’m really seeing my stressful beliefs and how I think things SHOULD go. I’m really understanding now that if I have a worksheet on someone or something…it is how I see everything.  

I wanted to express my gratitude. (YOI member).

Now here’s the thing.

There are no guarantees such as “you will feel glorious, you will be liberated, you will wake up” or any such claims about doing YOI.

But you know that already.

Like other inner journeys unique to you, you may find the arrow is shooting out in a certain direction, but no telling when or how it will land exactly.

I notice, I have no idea when or how this work “works” for anyone, or even for myself.

I just know it does. 

My life is absolutely nothing like it was when I began self-inquiry using this simple method introduced by Byron Katie (deep bow of gratitude for Katie, forever).

My inquiry has expanded into areas I never dreamed it would expand. This mind does its thing, and something within watches, chuckles, and rests at peace, joyfully.

The peace is here, and has been the entire time….

….I just never saw it before.

I cherish those who appear in Year of Inquiry, each and every one of you. You are a part of my path.

What a wonderful journey it is.

If you’re interested in reading more about YOI, have questions about the details and the fees (these vary depending on your level of participation)….

….you can click here to read more.

Stay tuned for the application process to come in July, along with early-bird payments for everyone who decides to join before August 1, 2015.

If you have any special questions you’d like to know now, please feel free to write me anytime. Just hit reply.

Much love, Grace

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Committing To Practice Makes All The Difference In Your Whole World

question your stressful thoughts--change your whole world. Really.
question your stressful thoughts–change your whole world. Really.

Year of Inquiry (YOI) is a small group of inquirers who connect for an entire year together, starting every September and meeting all year long, changing topics every month.

Yah. It’s intense.

It’s a long commitment.

We’re half way through the year. And we love it.

It’s amazing over time to have a regular practice of collecting together and questioning….deeply.

Who would you BE without that thought, about your body (we happen to be on the BODY month right now) or money, or your primary relationship, or your dad or mom?

Sinking in over and over, together.

The thing I love about a whole year is we come and go, we’re on vacation then we’re back, we show up then we miss a session, but we tap back in, regroup, show up, focus.

Remember.

Over time the practice of inquiring becomes so, so, so fun.

We get to know one another’s voices, wishes, the way we respond in a very intimate way, without ever telling all our stories.

Someone wrote me an email once after reading a Grace Note.

“Don’t you get tired of questioning your thoughts? Isn’t this a little repetitive or obsessive?”

Yes to the second part. Ha ha!

No to the first.

I have NO IDEA why I don’t get tired of this.

Well, OK, maybe there’s an idea.

Somewhere along the way, I realized this work was about ending fear. Ending agony about what happened before and what might happen next.

I also realized there was absolutely nothing else I could do, except question my painful thinking.

Wow. Nothing. No control.

I only had my own mind ultimately to work with, it didn’t work to try to fix or adjust or make the world better.

I could end the drama of needing other people to change, or the environment to change, or this whole world to change….

….in order to actually be happy.

I could actually enter the humor of not being my mind, not taking my thinking seriously….

….and watch this astonishing life unfold with all the flavors, variety, complexity and strangeness of the most inventive, brilliant novel.

With joy.

Not upset.

I love all the people who show up for inquiry, every single day in the groups or telecourses I run.

Everyone doing the best they can, everyone curious….open.

Everyone dropping their limiting stories, on their own path, and sharing this process together, at their own pace.

We do have room for up to three people right now in YOI. We have calls on Tuesday mornings 9 am, Thursday afternoons 4:30 pm, and Fridays 9 am Pacific time. Come to one, two or all three–your choice.

We gather in person for those who can get to the northwest USA May 29-31. But if you’re super far away, like Europe, then you might choose not to travel and that’s OK too (it’s less expensive).

I don’t want anyone to miss out who would love this ongoing opportunity to be in The Work three weeks out of every month and see what regular inquiry can bring to your life.

It looks like freedom.

“Reality–the way that it is, exactly as it is, in every moment–is always kind. It’s our STORY about reality that blurs our vision, obscures what’s true, and leads us to believe that there is injustice in the world. I sometimes say that you move totally away from reality when you believe there is a legitimate reason to suffer….It’s insane to believe that suffering is caused by anything outside the mind. A clear mind doesn’t suffer.” ~ Byron Katie

And of course, even if an organized regular inquiry group isn’t right for you–there are other ways to do The Work with people.

You can call the Help Line (click HERE to use it for free).

“If you want to work with your psyche, you have to loosen up in there…you have to get underneath and see why your psyche is the way it is. It was programmed that way. But you can learn how to interact with life in a wholesome, participatory way. You have the right to relax and let fear pass right through you.” ~ Michael Singer

If you’re in the mood for lightening up, understanding your mind, becoming intimate with reality….

….and you’d like support on your journey….

….then consider coming on board to the upcoming Relationships telecourse, or Year of Inquiry, or Desire and The Work, or Summer Camp for The Mind this coming summer, or Breitenbush 5 day retreat in the spectacular natural Hotsprings of Oregon.

I love connecting with you, questioning the way we all think, and changing our world.

If you’re interested in YOI or another teleclass, hit reply and let me know (your email will go directly to me personally) or visit  www.workwithgrace.com and click on teleclasses or programs to see what’s coming up.

Much love, Grace

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You Are Never Truly Homeless, Even When You Are

Several people have written to me about joining YOI (Year of Inquiry) and how it works. Our year began in September….however if you’re really wanting to be in our inquiry circle to stay close and steady in the practice of questioning stressful thoughts, with a group of awesome people, then this is a super easy and great way to do it.

Three weeks out of every month we’re on the phone or skype together, from time zones all over the world, looking deeply at our thoughts, reading our worksheets out loud, closely investigating the pain and stress that arises in our lives.

People get to partner with others in the group if they choose, and we change topics every month….but you can always do your own work, even if it seems unrelated to our month-long subject.

We meet Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. You can pick only one, or join them all. It all depends on your desire for practicing inquiry. To apply, click here.

The other day, during our Tuesday morning call, our investigating was profound.

I felt like we were the peacemakers of the world, considering our thoughts about homelessness, or any other group or person who seems frightening and strange.

Sitting on our call together, I remembered how close I came to my own “homelessness”…..

…..and how now, I see even better than ever before how NOT homeless I was back then, even though that beautiful house in my memory is no longer where I live.

I still drive by it from time to time, and gaze up the long driveway. I can’t really see the house. But images and memories pass through my mind like a speeding bullet train.

I used to think about my old house and feel sad, sad, sad.

I should never have felt we had to sell. We were so screwed up in our thinking. That was such a mistake. We didn’t have a good attitude towards money. We made life hard for ourselves for no reason.

I see so deeply today how there is nothing permanent, and thinking I need a shelter or structure over my head which stays the same is completely bonkers.

Afterall, I’m outta there sooner or later.

The reality is, I’ve actually moved by choice many times, and moved because it was what was required other times, and stayed planted right where I was other times, and looked for a place to sleep some times.

Just like everyone else.

By connecting with the fear of homelessness, by looking at someone I think of as “homeless” in my town, I turn it around and see what I’ve imagined to be so frightening, and what is at home, right now, no matter what’s going on.

Never homeless.

From that place, I notice, I can give the “homeless” person I walk past a hug.

“If you have a problem with people or the state of the world, I invite you to put your stressful thoughts on paper and question them, and to do it for the love of truth, not in order to save the world. Turn it around: save your own world. Isn’t that why you want to save the world in the first place? So that you can be happy? Well, skip the middleman, and be happy from here! You’re it. You’re the one. In this turnaround you remain active, but there’s no fear in it, no internal war. So it ceases to be war trying to teach peace. War can’t teach peace. Only peace can. I don’t try to change the world–not ever. The world changes by itself, and I’m a part of that change. I’m absolutely, totally, a lover of what is. When people ask me for help, I say yes. We inquire, and they begin to end their suffering, and in that they begin to end the suffering of the world.” ~ Byron Katie pg. 83 1000 Names For Joy

Much love,

Grace

P.S. December 6th is filling up–mini retreat in person in Seattle 1:30-5:30 pm all afternoon. What a great way to spend a winter Saturday.