I was thinking about several different people I know who appear to be suffering deeply.
Byron Katie says that the state of suffering is caused by blind attachment to something that you think is true. It’s hard to do The Work in that kind of state because you would do almost anything to prove that your story is true.
It’s like when I’ve been really, really sure about these kinds of thoughts:
- life is a struggle
- it takes hard work to earn a lot of money
- we all die, and this is TERRIBLE
- I must reach enlightenment before I die in this lifetime
- cancer is horrendous and I never, ever want to have it again
- he doesn’t love me (and he should)
These thoughts seem true in the moment and they become so real. When I have thoughts like these I start to think about ways to fix the problem:
- I should practice manifesting and being “positive”
- I should go to an ashram and meditate more often
- I’ll take lots of vitamins and eat perfectly and avoid cancer
- I will analyze, read, gather, listen and follow gurus
- I’ll improve myself or fix my “ego” and then I’ll become free
I like that when I think something is really, really true, I start to prove that it’s valid. Like if I criticize someone else for being clumsy, or a liar, or mean-spirited then I see all these images or cases of when they really WERE those things. I kind of forget about how they are graceful, honest or kind-spirited.
I do the same thing to myself. If I think I’m NOT enlightened, then its only because I’m imagining what an enlightened person is like, that they are peaceful, clear, beautiful, calm, funny, strong and honest (for example) and then I see how I am NOT like that 100% of the time. So I must not be enlightened, see I proved it!
I love how Katie and many other “spiritual” teachers say that we all have inside of us exactly what we need. We all have the same wisdom, the same capacity for love. We all know best what our paths need to be.
What if we all are enlightened, we just forget sometimes and we start telling a nutty story that we’re not measuring up? Whatever painful thing you’re telling yourself today, about yourself, see if you can find an example of the opposite.
Love, Grace