Category: Uncategorized

The other day I was remembering Annie Lamott, a favorite author of mine, and her tales of waking up out of addiction and ending the cycle of self-abuse.

I have to chuckle when she describes the inner voice that’s so mean, radio station KFCK was the first way I heard it described.

She also calls it KRAP….a little less cuss-word oriented but it still gets the message across.

If you’re on the Eating Peace notes, you’ll recognize it in my message in my video yesterday.

The main idea in this message, noticing this voice?

Noticing that we also have a kind, generous, loving voice within.

It’s been there the whole time.

Perhaps not even a voice all the time, but a feeling, an observing view, a sense of inner silence that is not disturbed and not freaking out. Ever.

Do you know what I mean?

The radio station KFCK or KRAP can sometimes chatter away so loudly, you don’t recognize this quieter voice.

And yet, this seemingly more silent voice is deep, steady, unbothered, and eternal.

It’s the radio station L-O-V-E.

That sounds super sugary corny perhaps, but it’s true.

Funny how we don’t spend a lot of time, at least I sure didn’t, listening to that LOVE radio station instead of the other one.

But don’t worry, even if you haven’t listened to it much, or you’ve gone way off track, or gone haywire thinking very negative and disturbing thoughts, or lost the signal for love entirely…..

…..you never have.

You can connect with it right now.

Who would you be without believing what you think is true, especially the brutal thoughts, or the criticisms from other people, or anything you don’t like hearing?

Who would you be without the thought you’ve made a mistake, you’re wrong, you shouldn’t be thinking negatively, you’re not measuring up, you didn’t succeed, you’re lacking something, you’re nothing important, your mind is right?

Who would you be without beliefs about other people and how annoying, sad, needy, irritating or bothersome THEY are?

Like….what would it be like if you just had no thoughts of being against it all, no brain putting out an inner voice, deciding things, assessing and commenting on everything as if its worrisome or irritating?

What’s a flower like? Or a tree? Or a bird?

Here you are being yourself, which includes having a mind that runs off in various directions…..

…..but what if you just didn’t get all worked up and involved?

If you let the kind, tender, compassionate voice be the louder one for right now, without trying to fight against the other ones?

“You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation…and that is called loving. Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else.” ~ Herman Hesse

Now that’s relaxing. And loving. And kind.

Oh halleluia.

How do you know when to give up something, close the door to business, say goodbye, end the relationship, wrap, call it quits?

You’ve weighed the pros and cons. You’ve made lists. You’ve hashed it out with neutral objective (sort of) friends. You’ve journaled on your decision. You’ve consulted with a mentor or trusted advisor. You’ve tried to find what your gut feeling is.

Maybe whatever you’re wanting to quit isn’t THAT big a deal.

Like you’ve got a friend who kinda bugs you, an irritating client, a marketing firm who keeps calling your phone, a neighbor who borrows things constantly.

Not matters of life or death…..although there may be big changes in your day-to-day life if you make the decision a certain way…..

…..but one thing’s for sure.

You’ve got the thought “something’s gotta change, I can’t take it anymore, this needs to stop.”

Here’s one thing I love about The Work.

By doing the work, you can get closer to what really actually disturbs you the most, and maybe even discover some interesting information BEFORE you get to the I-can’t-take-it breaking point.

“Something’s gotta change, I can’t take it anymore.”

First, ask yourself, why?

Why to you hate this interaction, this repeating situation, this person’s behavior, this difficult moment looking at your bank statement, your results?

Are you sure you have to make a decision based on your level of pain? On your level of frustration, fear, failure, or disappointment?

What if you felt really positive about that situation or person or condition so you could make the best decision possible, without your negative feelings dominating the show?

It doesn’t mean your painful feelings aren’t important, or deeply valuable.

They just aren’t necessarily what you want to base your whole decision on, you know?

Everyone almost always feels more peaceful when their decisions are loving, kind and spacious…..

…..not made from rage or bitterness.

Why do you feel like giving up? What’s the actual problem?

Write it out.

He’ll never change, she will be a better companion, my boss sucks, this never makes enough money, my business is in the tank, he’s too needy, she’s too critical, I’m too tired.

If you want….keep going with writing and identifying what’s ailing you about this difficult, troubling situation where you want to call it quits.

How do you want it to change? How could it improve?

What should happen that isn’t actually happening?

What do you think is missing? What do you really need in order to be happy?

Now you’ve got your concepts.

You can inquire.

See if they are really, really true.

Notice that how you react is…..

…..you want to say “Take This Job And Shove It! I NEVER want to see you again THIS IS OVAH!”

But who would you be without this thought?

Seriously.

What if you couldn’t believe this story was true? What if your mind didn’t have all the distaste and being against this person, in this situation?

I notice I relax. Something inside lets go of the knife-cutting anger, or the abrupt thinking, the thoughts that are so drama-queen ready to escape from Alcatraz.

Sometimes, without the thought that something is unbearable….

….people imagine “OMG, I will NEVER take action and get free from this rotten neighbor!”

I’ll never leave my job, I’ll never find the right partner, I’ll never make lots of money, I’ll never never never. I’ll lie down on the floor like a passive doormat and nothing will EVER happen.

But is THAT true? Really?

What if you turned these thoughts around: Nothing needs to change, I can take it, this doesn’t need to stop. 

Holy smokes. That’s all true.

A long time ago, when I got a J-O-B, I thought “the minute I make enough money in my business, I’m outta here”.

I’m outta here in 3 months…I’m outta here in 6 months….I’m outta here in a year.

My mind constantly imagined when I was leaving, semi-resentful of my dratted job, thinking I should be focused only on my business, curses the day I had to work for someone else.

Until I realized. OMG. I need to do The Work on having this part time job I am resenting every day!

WHY was it so dreadful?

“Often these unquestioned beliefs hide superstitions which are protecting something which is untrue, contradictory, or being used as justification for behavior which is a less than enlightened.” ~ Adyashanti

I wrote it all out.

I began appreciating that job so much, I wound up loving it. I stopped thinking of the time I would leave and dropped the calendar obsessing.

And I noticed after several years, I decided to leave because my business was booming and successful, and it just wasn’t necessary to go to work anymore even though I loved it.

Now that was the best way to move on I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.

No regrets, no fear, no anger, no irritation.

Just pure appreciation.

I didn’t need rage to make a decision. Love led the way. It might sound corny, or cheesy, or weird…..

….but it’s waaaaaay easier than other things I left in a fit of anger (which weren’t exactly undone and finished in that state of feeling).

No guilt, no regret, no flip-flopping back, total clarity that the way it went was just right.

Now if YOU are thinking of making a change, you might have people who you think will be disappointed, or fear of failure. That’s another angle to making change, where you may have stressful thoughts.

Just question them. See if they’re really true.

A path may open up you never saw was there before.

Much love, Grace

I’m thrilled with all the people who’ll be joining the Desire course tomorrow. Everything is done via webinar and you’ll watch online. You can replay the recordings if you can’t make it live.

It would be my honor to serve you dancing down the path of your personal journey in joy. It’s my passion to join with others and bring life-changing facilitation to people.

Because that’s what is satisfying and spectacular about life.

Joy. Freedom.

As so many of you know already….I had some serious attitudes about life that did NOT feel so joyful.

They had been in place maybe since childhood.

Life is hard. Bad things can happen. When something horrible goes on in the world, its difficult to get over it. Fear is awful to feel. Anger makes people do terrible things. I’m too sensitive. I’m too nervous. He shouldn’t have died. She shouldn’t have been so critical. She betrayed me. I can’t stop. I’ll never feel good. 

Oh boy, phew!

By the time I was 23 I had an eating disorder, I was insecure, I diminished my own talents and service and love for others, I was very critical and angry, and yet also people-pleasing to the max….I was scared!

I reached out for help, banging and bumping my way along.

I met wonderful mentors.

Then, finding The Work of Byron Katie was a huge step UP in my process of clarity and freedom.

It was so simple, and so direct.

So you know that thing you’re afraid of trying, or afraid you’ll never get it or never find peace in that area?

Who would you be without the belief that you could get hurt, or embarrassed, or make a big mistake, or fail?

What if you deeply examined the events, situations and relationships that have disturbed you most profoundly?

You don’t have to explore them all. Just start with one, today.

You may have done The Work on it already. You can do it again!

First, you write a Judge Your Neighbor worksheet on that one terrible, difficult situation. Even if it was all the way back in childhood.

Not long ago I was working with a lovely inquirer who is enrolled in the Eating Peace program online that happens to be underway. Everyone gets a 911 call if they need it, during our 3 months together.

This inquirer knows she desires freedom around food and eating. She desires feeling healthy, and happy about her body.

But it’s been torturous and painful, and her weight has yo-yo’d up and down. Not so very happy.

I can relate.

When I binged and purged, my feelings were twisted up in knots.

Usually, I was believing something that had nothing actually to do with food–this was my release, the way I treated myself, my reaction to very troubled thinking.

When I went into therapy to heal this torturous way of life, I discovered much more clearly some of the thinking that felt so dramatically hard.

All those beliefs about trying to be good, acceptable, likable, someone worthy of being loved and cherished. I really thought I had to earn that, and make sure I wasn’t selfish and bratty.

So confining!

I felt like I was in prison when it came to dealing with people. I really couldn’t feel free to be myself. I couldn’t speak up to them if I needed to ask a question, or tell the truth.

That’s how this sweet inquirer also felt.

We looked at her beliefs about some people….and then about a person of deep influence.

Yes. You might know who.

Mother.

If you’re not sure where to begin, and you have troubling thoughts about life and death, and where you’re going or what this is all for….

….I suggest starting with your mother. Or your father.

Either one can be powerful.

You aren’t in the end assessing them as a person, you are questioning YOUR PERCEPTION of that person.

You may find, even if they have not been alive for years, you can change your relationship to them, and therefore to your current world when you encounter people like them, or familiar situations.

A shift like this, even in small measurements and doses of awareness, can bring you peace in an area, like your eating.

I found them very interconnected and associated.

As I made peace with important people in my life, and understood myself as a human being, I could see beyond my human story.

As I saw beyond my story, I became more and more relaxed.

And free.

Free to feel joyful, expansive, mysterious, gentle, silent and awake.

All you need to do is question your mind, and land on the turnarounds (the last part of The Work).

As I have done this, I find that the qualities I found most frightening and unacceptable have become the ones I appreciated most of all.

The class on tomorrow will have great emphasis on living your turnarounds, finding out what it looks like to bring movement, love, action and communication into your world when you do The Work.

That’s when it feels wonderful to have desire–noticing abundance, anticipation, hand-clapping joy.

Not torturous desire–full of emptiness, desperation, rage and lack.

There’s a big difference, right?

Let me know how your work goes, or if you have questions getting started on a difficult relationship. It’s my pleasure to help assist peace unfold in this world, however I can.

The more peaceful, joyful people, the more fun.

If you want to discover more wonderful feelings within, in this present moment, then a great place to do it will be in tomorrow’s Desire course.

Have you ever noticed inner conflict about your desires?

Probably your answer is….OF COURSE.

 [stextbox id=”custom”][Tomorrow, free webinar on Desire, 90 minutes from 10-11:30 am Pacific, see all the information to dial-in below, no registration required].[/stextbox]

I’ve often had debates about my own desires.

Should I want that thing? What if I just stopped wanting it? Is it OK to want what I want, or is there something wrong with me?

I had the terrible experience of having what I apparently wanted become very painful when it came to things like eating, smoking, drinking.

Or what about the struggle of wanting more money when you don’t have enough?

And what about attraction for people? When people are in mutually agreed monogamous relationships, and one person wishes to leave because they want to be with someone else instead, it appears to cause anguish and pain.

Can’t desire be easier? What’s going on when desire seems to bring a mixture of pleasure AND pain?

Can we trust our desires to lead us down paths of peace and enlightenment…..or difficulty and trouble?

Pursuing what we desire seems to go badly sometimes!

Yikes!

But it’s fascinating and very liberating when you study your desires, allowing all your judgments or grabbiness to be there, without being so afraid of this tricky topic.

Where to begin?

The place I love beginning first, is to look at my desires….

….and see what it is I believe the object of my desire would give me, if I had it or experienced it.

For example.

Take five minutes and write down everything you desire in your life. What do you want to add? What are you drawn to? What do you wish for, dream about, long for?

Write small to large desires. Write anything that comes to mind. Allow yourself to be petty, immature, or expansive and idealistic.

Then, start with the very first thing you wrote.

What would you have, if you had that thing, or that condition, or that new situation, or that person?

What kind of feeling would you have? What quality?

Money is a common desire for many people. More money, tons of money, endless money, millions and zillions.

Notice the image that comes to mind and how exciting you believe it would be to have all that money in your bank accounts.

What do you feel? What would you have?

When I did this work around money, I saw that I would feel secure, relaxed, safe, independent and free.

Wow, no wonder I wanted more money!

But then, I could also investigate why it was I was not secure right now with the amount of money I already had, what I was thinking that created anxiety, and how I believed I was dependent and trapped.

This helped tease out and drill down into my objections to reality!

Juicy situations for inquiry!

I could see deeply what I felt insecure about in the present, that I believed money would resolve.

Where was I really insecure? How was it true that I was not independent? Who was to blame?

I discovered in the midst of all the looking at desires in my life that I could actually enjoy the process and the experience of desiring, without feeling desperate to GET the thing.

Strange paradox. But oh so fun, and such a relief to really know what is true for me!

Tomorrow I’ll dive deeply into facilitating you to discover your desires in your life, and see what shadows or judgments arise when you admit what they are!

There are three ways to connect to the webinar tomorrow, which is entirely free: phone, skype or on the web. You need to have a computer to see your screen–there will be a slide show.

If you watch the webinar on the web, you’ll be able to send your questions and comments to me online, or you can simply listen and follow along.

The webinar will be a delicious appetizer to the full 6 week telecourse program starting next week, but there’s no obligation to join the whole course if you come to the webinar.

You will leave having a better understanding of how to enjoy your desires, and question your fears about having them, or not getting them, or the reason these desires live inside you in the first place.

Here’s how you can join (and bring a pen and paper).

Everyone please click the “event” link to see the slide show. If you want to participate, and do The Work (I highly recommend) then dial in AND click the web link.

That way, you can share and you can watch the slide show, too.

In my podcast Peace Talk as I was turning on the microphone early this morning, I knew I would be sharing about suffering in the deepest way.

What a thing to talk about, right?

Not exactly fun, in general.

How do we deal or live with tragedy and loss, or depression and our own agony about what’s happening?

The Work, when you sit with this and answer the questions four questions, can bring freedom beyond what you might ever imaginebefore asking these questions.

I remember thinking….how can answering questions actually bring relief to the worst case scenarios in life?

It won’t change the scenarios! There’s still war, divorce, cancer, car accidents, bankruptcy!

But I was amazed to find the relief….

….and then not only relief, but freedom….

….by simply questioning my own thinking.

It’s not easy.

First, you feel overwhelmed with rage, desperation and grief. From that feeling within you naturally begin to act out the pain. You drink, you hate (yourself or others), you eat, you look down at the ground when you walk. You quit things. You stop trying.

You tell the story of how freaked out you are, or how panicked, or how incredibly depressed.

It may seem trite or ridiculous to ask the fourth question in the series of questions known as The Work of Byron Katie:

Who would you BE without the thought that all is lost, you can’t go on, your life is horrible, the pain is unbearable, the world is a terrible place full of darkness and suffering?

What if you just weren’t thinking in this moment, and instead observing, feeling….being.

What does this mean, to be?

It’s a great question. I’m not always sure.

However, I notice that my thoughts seem to concentrate intensely somewhere in the region of my brain, and flow out into my body and behavior at the speed of lightening.

When I consider “being” instead of only “thinking” I can contemplate my suffering in just a little different way.

I remember that some people…like the guy who lives two blocks down the street…isn’t suffering the way I am suffering right now.

Neither is the cat. Or the grass growing wildly in the yard.

Life on planet earth is not 100% full of suffering. There are living beings, even if all I can think of are animals, who are happy, easy, present, not full of brooding and repetitive beliefs about death or destruction.

There is life that comes out of war. Healing happens.

Love happens.

Who would I be without my own thoughts of horror?

A person sitting on a couch.

Who would I be without the thought that “I am a person” (who has just suffered some terrible loss)?

Feeling a body, hearing sounds everywhere, seeing colors and shapes, seeing pictures in my head, noticing the touch of fingers on smooth glass, breathing in, feeling the heart beat that has nothing to do with me–its just running, working, moving through some mystical unexplainable life force of energy.

Something is here, alive.

Who would you be without your thoughts of tragedy?

It’s not denial, or trying to pretend something did not happen that actually did happen….

….it’s simply noticing you are engaged in life of life’s terms, not YOUR MIND’S terms, and life comes and goes, dies and is born, morphs and changes, moves and becomes still.

And there is always something back behind all of it that is very quiet, silent, precious and beautiful.

Who would you be without your story?

“Nothing terrible has ever happened except in our thinking. Reality is always good, even in situations that seem like nightmares. The story we tell is the only nightmare that we have lived. When I say that the worst that can happen is a belief, I am being literal. The worst that can happen to you is your uninvestigated belief system.” ~ Byron Katie in Loving What Is pg. 228

Incredible?

Try it out.

Can you find any place in the middle of your tragic situation that is peaceful? Has there been goodness that’s come from what you’ve experienced?

From my own diagnosis of cancer in 2006, I felt something very profound about the temporary-ness of this life, and a movement to live fully.

From my own father dying young from leukemia, I found the capacity (after floundering awhile) for direct, fatherly guidance from within myself.

From learning of others dying at young ages, I’ve become aware of how precious each day, how temporary, and how astonishing I’m living long enough to have wrinkles and scars.

From knowing how brief we are here I’ve become less attached to acquiring stuff, earning money, saving money, accumulating experiences….and instead trust in sharing, inviting, connecting with no idea where this will go.

From all the suffering I experienced with my addictions I actually feel gratitude they’ve taught me what wasn’t permanent or important, calmed down my ginormous grabby ego, and shown me how to love unconditionally (especially myself).

Yesterday I went clothes shopping with my daughter.

As I was changing in the dressing room, I saw what apparently is my back, shoulder blade and spine in the mirror, and my hair falling long down the middle, and my legs in my yoga pants (I dress Miss Casual constantly) and I thought immediately “she is so cute, just look at this precious little middle aged woman on planet earth who will only be here a short time overall.”

That is who I am even with this body I seem to inhabit that appears as this, without thoughts that things should be different than they are.

Plans, plans, plans.

A fabulous inquirer came to our session feeling overwhelmed with the need to make plans.

Travel, moving, children, dates, taxes, finishing that thing, negotiating a raise or improvement at work.

Plans appear to fall into a few different categories, I have found.

There are the daily to-do’s.

Laundry, taking out the garbage, going through your email Inbox, grocery shopping, gassing up the car, filling out the form for your kid’s field trip, passport application, paying bills, writing the daily blog post.

Then there are a little more wide, expansive to-do’s.

Making that doctor’s appointment, completing your taxes, researching places to stay in Scotland next August, writing job-hunt emails, setting up power-lunch dates, finishing the 2015 business growth plan.

Then maybe really, really big to-do’s.

Bucket list to-do’s or major project to-do’s.

Finish my book, repair the roof, complete landscaping of the yard, new car, colonoscopy, writing out 10 year plan, difficult conversation with sibling, prepare your will, attend the School for The Work with Byron Katie.

The thing is, no matter what time-line is underway….

….plans can be strangely stressful.

The thought pops in “I need to get that handled” and then more thoughts about how much work it is to get that handled, and the putting off of handling it.

An uncomfortable procrastination.

The inquirer I was working with read me her long to-do list. She reported that just in the reading of it, she felt calmer.

And then we looked at the question….would you be without the belief that the to-do list is a too-much list?

Without the thought that it’s sooooo hard, you can’t even begin, it’s too much pressure, that the short-term to-do’s take up all your time and the long-term to-do’s don’t ever happen?

You might get excited!

You might join with that list and say….OK, let’s prioritize.

Which thing first?

One of my favorite books is David Allen’s “Getting Things Done”. It rocks.

It’s how you might be, the next step you would take, if you think your to-do lists are too crazy long and too hard to manage.

You’d get some help, you’d organize which things really need to be on this list, and which can get kicked off, you’d start at the top. you’d put some stuff on your calendar.

And you wouldn’t be procrastinating anymore.

Last year, I said every so often “I need to clean out the shed.”

My mind would think of it, I’d feel anxious–yes, I should clean out the shed–but I’d pass it by and move to the next thing.

Until. I remembered to notice the anxiety.

Right! Time for the work!

Without the thought that cleaning the shed is a problem, I put it on my calendar to take up an entire weekend 5 months later, during the summer. I announced to family members it was happening. I arranged a truck to borrow all those months away.

Then….I NEVER thought about how I need to clean out the shed again, until the proclaimed weekend arrived in August and it was all energy, all the time, on cleaning that shed.

Have you noticed how negative thinking is getting a seriously bad rap sometimes?

Do you notice uncomfortable feelings or thoughts enter you….and have the speedy quick immediate NEXT thought be that you really need to fix this negative thinking thing happening in your own head?

Whew!

I MUST DELETE THESE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS!!

They are terrible, destructive, awful, twisted…..I must switch NOW and start thinking positive ASAP!!

Sometimes, when someone is new to the Work, they say to me…“

…but, I don’t want to give attention to those negative voices. I’m eliminating them. I’m working on favorable, feel-good thinking. I don’t want to judge.”

Stop right there.

You might be making a humongous mistake.

Get it, ha ha?!

You’re making a mistake regarding your beliefs?

Pokin’ a little fun at you. As a good friend used to say to me (my former husband) when teasing “just pullin’ your chain, just pullin’ your chain!”

But seriously, let’s take a look at this thing that happens around the thinking process and how it can be damaging, or make you get stuck in a loop of anxious thoughts without ever reducing your stress, and keep you imprisoned in a cycle of unsupportive thinking, like your trapped thoughts going around on a merry-go-round in a child’s playground.

You notice a worried, sad, frightened, irritated or rageful feeling. You have a thought. Maybe a whole cloud of thoughts, an entire system of beliefs.

Almost in the same moment that you’re afraid and you feel against what’s going on in your environment…you feel immediately against what your own mind is doing.

You’re against everything. You’re disturbed. You’re upset. You might be shouting at yourself on the inside.

OMG I can’t have this negative thought! This feeling is TERRIBLE!

You could be yelling at yourself to be more positive, relax, get a grip, pull yourself together.

Kind of like a parent might say to a kid who’s having a melt down, when they’re losing their temper, not feeling compassionate or patient: Come on! Snap out of it! Quit crying! Stop panicking! Quit thinking that way!! 

How do you think you’ll react if someone yells at you to pull yourself together and stop having a hissy fit and stop thinking the way you’re actually thinking?

Happy and supported? Ready to question your painful thinking?

Uh…..not really.

At least, I sure never felt much better. And nothing changed, either.

Kinda like going on a major diet, as a counter-attack to a big gigantic appetite. The end result is….flying off the diet in a huge pendulum swing the other way, a breaking out in to freedom. A binge.

A long time ago, I quit trying to do positive thinking on top of negative thinking. It was an enormous amount of work.

Instead, when I found The Work of Byron Katie….

….but even long before, when I entered support groups and other people and therapists with a deep sense of unconditional love….

….I could let down my guard, expose my most dark and bitter thinking, and discover I could be accepted even with those kinds of troubled thoughts.

What a relief.

What to do next?

Give the negative thoughts time, love and energy. It’s so much easier than being AGAINST them.

The best way to do it?

Write them down, let them out, and take them through self-inquiry.

Simply see if they’re true or not!

Who would you be without the belief that your “negative” thoughts are that big and powerful, and ruining your life (even if they are, ha ha)?

I notice my “negative” thoughts are here. They are a part of reality.

Maybe they have a message. Maybe they aren’t actually even “negative”. I mean, who made me boss of the universe who decides what should or should not be allowed to be thought?

This is a very subtle place of letting go.

Are these thoughts actually YOU? Are you sure they mean you are doing something wrong? That you’re not positive enough?

“Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about.” ~ Rumi

To question what you believe to be true, even about thoughts, is to enter an unknown, wide open, infinite space. You don’t have to analyze, control, be against or be for….anything.

The next time you feel a swarm of dread coming….try letting it stay. What does it have to say? What is being expressed? What does it want? Write this down.

Get to know your mind intimately.

Now ask….is it true?

When you get all the way to the turnarounds, you may feel appreciation, an openness to being the way you are, an acceptance to your mind running the way it does.

You may find a new joy about your turnarounds you didn’t expect, because you gave the vicious, mean, frightened thoughts their due respect.

Everything becomes OK. And much less work.

Slower, more relaxed, no need to defend or gather your energies so you can fight against your negative beliefs and quit being judgemental.

“To the extent that the fire of truth wipes out all fixated points of view, it wipes out inner contradictions as well, and we begin to move in a whole different way. The Way is the flow that comes from a place of non-contradiction—not from good and bad. Much less damage tends to be done from that place.” ~ Adyashanti 

See what happens if you relax, wait, inquire.

You might notice you have the same push-pull pro-con relationship with a person in your life, not just your own thoughts. If this is the case, and you want guided help with inquiry….join Relationship Hell To Heaven Teleclass starting March 24 5:15-6:45 pm for 8 weeks. Still a few more spots.

Love, Grace

It seems the way of it over time is that on weekends, there is either only one Grace Note, or maybe even none.

But I felt full of joy to give you a gift of remembering to pause, perhaps even right now.

Even if you are wildly busy, which feels like my life in the past few years.

Busier, busier, and busier. Calendar filling, writing like crazy, so many clients, many classes, always a retreat coming up and preparation needed and kids, dance, gym, groceries, laundry.

Sometimes feeling on the edge of not actually being able to do all that I say I will be doing, all that I’m saying “yes” to.

Instead of tightening up about it today….taking a deep breath.

It has to happen, it should be done, it needs to get complete, I must finish.

Who would you be without the belief that you really need to have that thing finished in order to be happy?

You may still be on the road towards its completion….

….but it’s OK if you don’t get it done.

Because this journey is amazing, and wonderful, and glowing.

You are awesome, no matter what predicament or situation you’re in. Even with all that is unfinished and undone.

When an archer is shooting for nothing, he has all his skill.
If he shoots for a brass buckle, he is already nervous.
If he shoots for a prize of gold, he goes blind or sees two targets —
He is out of his mind!
His skill has not changed. But the prize divides him.
He cares. He thinks more of winning than of shooting–
And the need to win drains him of power….

….The non-action of the wise man is not inaction. It is not studied. It is not shaken by anything. The sage is quiet because he is not moved, not because he wills to be quiet.
Joy does all things without concern. For emptiness, stillness, tranquillity, tastelessness, silence, and non-action are the root of all things. 

~ The Way of Chuang Tzu translated by Thomas Merton

Pause. Feel the quiet.

Feel how good and simple it is, even when your to-do list is long and your dreams are big.

Did you notice the full moon?

Ahhhhhhh.

Love, Grace