Here I go into retreat with a most amazing group of inquirers.
I always think everyone is amazing who shows up….they are so unique, wondering about life and themselves, very interested in their own minds.
The power of everyone gathered together with the intention to question stressful thinking creates a gorgeous, visceral, palpable energy.
Places people have been stuck or confused….
….just seem to get unstuck and more clear.
Like when a whole group of people help push a stalled car from stand-still to creeping a long just an inch, to moving faster….then everyone’s running alongside the car and it kick jumps into “on” again!
Cheers! Motor is running! We’re moving again!
So while I deep dive in with all these lovely people at Breitenbush, remember there’s more inquiry time coming….you can do it too.
Next Sunday, July 5th I’m offering a free opening session summer camp inquiry jam. It costs nothing. We’ll do The Work for 2 hours from 8-10 am Pacific.
Join by skype, phone, or your computer (if computer only you’ll be in listen-only chat mode without audio).
All you need to do is come with a pen and paper handy, and an open mind, and we’ll do The Work. It’ll be the kick off session for Summer Camp for The Mind, although it’s not required that you keep going for the entire inquiry blitz month, or even sign up.
Summer Camp For The Mind is doing The Work whenever you choose for 5 days a week (or one or two) from July 6 – August 7.
Here’s the daily schedule (plus there’s two more Sunday 2 hour inquiry sessions also online July 19 and August 2).
Mondays 10-11:30 am PT/1:00-2:30 pm Eastern/6 pm London
Tuesdays 5-6:30 pm PT/8-9:30 pm Eastern/8:00 am Australia
Wednesdays noon-1:30 pm/3-4:30 pm Eastern/9 pm Europe
Thursdays 9-10:30 am/noon-1:30 pm/6-7:30 pm Europe
Fridays 7:00-8:30 am/10:30-noon Eastern/3:00 pm London
Read all about how it works right HERE.It’s sliding scale, so choose what you contribute from $97 – $297.
Can’t wait to do The Work with you!
“Inquiry is a way to end confusion and to experience internal peace, even in a world of apparent chaos. Above all else, inquiry is about realizing that all the answers we ever need are always available inside us. Inquiry is more than a technique: It brings to life, from deep within us, an innate aspect of our being. When practiced for awhile, inquiry takes on its own life within you. It appears whenever thoughts appear, as their balance and mate. This internal partnership leaves you free to live as a kind, fluid, fearless, amused listener, a student of yourself, and a friend who can be trusted not to resent, criticize, or hold a grudge. Peace and joy naturally, inevitably, and irreversibly make their way into every corner of your mind, into every relationship and experience….You used to hurt and now you don’t.” ~ Byron Katie in Loving What Is
Join me on July 5th or in Summer Camp For The Mind and with the help of the group, attention and inquiry….bring to life the innate aspect of your being that’s unhurt, and free.
The Wild Hair Problem-Generating Thought You Can Question
It’s not a new idea to most of us that when we’re telling ourselves something painful and troubling about other people, places or things….
….we’re also tellingourselves mean things.
Like….
.…you are so mean to have such thoughts about other people. You should be more accepting. You’re so judgmental. You’re ridiculous. You have no answers. You are so opinionated. What an unenlightened person you are.
All said to you. From a voice we can’t define, exactly.
One thing I’ve come to know about that voice, though….
….is that it is convinced there are dreadful problems that appear about life, circumstances, the world, other people, and of course you, too….
….and it has a project. Fix them.
It gets really frustrating to try and fix stuff in our environment or to try and fix stuff about other people.
They keep doing what they’re doing, they don’t change.
So we turn on ourselves and try and fix the way WE are.
How do you react when you believe you need to be fixed or improved, you really need to “get” something about what’s going on here that you don’t get yet?
Wow, it’s intense how I react.
I enroll in training programs, I sign up to get a degree, I pay lots of money to hang out with people I think can help me.
I read lots of books, I structure my day to include physical exercise and meditation, I go to therapy, I eat only food from my food plan.
Not that there’s anything wrong with these. At all.
But that underlying belief….I need improvement…..ouch.
Left to my own devices, I am out of control, I’m unspiritual, I’m compulsive, I’m an addict, I’m wrong, I’m not enough.
Who would you be without the belief that there’s something wrong with you?
Even though you did that embarrassing thing once…..even though you put your foot in your mouth, even though you defended yourself by chopping someone down, even though you said harsh things to that person you love, even though you got divorced, or lost all your money (like me), or got cancer, or ate too much?
Who would you be without the belief there’s anything wrong with you whatsoever?
Kind of strange, right?
But let’s say there isn’t. Let’s say all that occurred was not your fault.
How would that feel?
What if there was something right with you, and that’s why it went down the way it did?
You responded like a human. And you are human, it turns out. You had thoughts, feelings, experiences and you didn’t know how to work with them (yet) and thought you should know, so you criticized yourself.
And even THAT was not wrong.
And now….
….you can sit still if you like, being here in the presence of yourself and your environment in this moment as you read these words, imagine not fully believing the thought that there is something wrong with you, with life, with what’s happened or what you’ve done.
“Everybody has their favorite way of arguing with God. When you start to follow, instead of lead, you start to follow that inner movement that is not speaking. It leads; you follow….
….This idea that there is a problem….that’s the wild hair in the ass of humanity.” ~ Adyashanti in My Secret Is Silence
Have you been arguing with God, by thinking you’re a problem?
Would you like to come do The Work of Byron Katie tomorrow afternoon? You get to work on a problem, person or issue in your life that’s stressing you out. I’ll be there every step of the way from start to finish and help you find your own answers.
(No one has to share their work, by the way). Mental health counselors can receive 4 CEUs.
We’re meeting 1:30-5:30 pm in northeast Seattle in Goldilocks Cottage.
(You might get to meet a raccoon….keep reading to see why).
Room now for two more because of a cancellation last night. Hit reply to this email and I’ll send you all the details.
*******
I was preparing for the mini retreat this weekend partly by picking Rainier cherries from the two luscious trees in the front yard of the cottage.
I thought I’d include them in our snacks and provisions for the inward journey.
Oh….and I also wanted to get as many off the tree as possible before that raccoon tried to eat them, again!
Greedy varmit! My cherries! Not yours!
Oh. Hi, didn’t see you there. I was busy having a hissy fit about a raccoon for a second.
Have you ever found yourself flippin’ out because you forgot something at home, or your kid left a mess on the kitchen counter, or your car broke down, or the traffic is thick?
That auto-pilot response…..OH DRAT…..and an shot of irritated energy zings out. Maybe you curse.
Or you say “rrrrrrr!” like a growl.
Well….self-inquiry can be amazing for very painful investigations into thought, but also this kind of small-potatoes investigation as well. The things that aren’t so troubling, and yet, you notice you’re building a case for how you’re a victim of circumstances, a victim of the situation.
Let’s call that a Raccoon Situation.
This past weekend, the days were sunny and beautiful during the Year of Inquiry retreat. We had the front door of the cottage propped open, as well as the two back French doors, so a light breeze could blow through the house. Birds were tweeting, people went by on their bicycles, and we were all gathered in a big circle in the pretty living room.
In the middle of someone’s sharing, I suddenly glimpsed a large dark shape moving. A big thick moving creature in one of the cherry trees in the front yard.
What??!! A raccoon out during the day?!
Arrrrrrgh! Get outta my tree! My cherries! Shoo! Scat!
Bang Bang!
I jumped up and clapped at the animal, which stared at me a second and sauntered slowly down the tree trunk and off across the street under a tall laurel bush.
A participant in the retreat said “oh, so cute!”
I think someone took a picture.
But I was thinking of building an electric shock fence around the base of my cherry trees, or sitting up that night with a stick ready to swat.
Not that I’d actually want to fight the raccoon but I wanted it gone and to never come back and never eat any of my cherries.
EVER!
But I composed myself and we reassembled.
Now where were we….
The following day, again in circle during the afternoon session, again in the beauty of the thoughtful inquiry and people sharing very powerful personal work….
….I see the tree shaking and a movement reflected in the door glass.
I get up and lean out the front door and clap at it. GIT!
I had to laugh upon returning to my chair.
No one at the retreat complained a peep about my impulse to Get The Raccoon Out.
Someone even offered to spray it, if I had a hose.
But I was laughing because I could see the mind creating an instant story.
MY cherries, MY trees, MY yard! Enemy raccoon!
Who would I be without the belief I had to chase that thing away?
Who would I be without the belief it was taking something of MINE?
Who would you be without the thought that you’ve be done wrong, or something is in opposition to you—like traffic, or something spilling, or the customer service dude not getting your issue, or not being able to find your keys?
I know for me….I’m laughing.
Life is hi-la-rious! Raccoons show up!
“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher
If you find you get jolted by day-to-day activities….
….commuting, traffic, house chores, meetings, laundry, wildlife….
….who would you be without your tension?
Yippeeeeee!!!
Much love, Grace
P.S. A couple more spots only at Breitenbush Hot Springs in 3 weeks. We have the most spectacular time soaking in inquiry Weds through Sunday 6/24-6/28. Call 503-854-3320 with questions or to register. 26 CEUs for mental health counselors. 24 CEs for Byron Katie Facilitators.
Yesterday the 3-day Year of Inquiry retreat came to a close.
I loved having everyone in my cottage, making a comfortable circle in the cozy living room where I live.
It’s sooooo sweet to have the people on retreat look like they’re truly feeling my home is their home, leaving their things in piles on the floor, bringing their food for the fridge, making tea when they need it, saying “where’s the extra toilet paper”, curling up in a blanket on the front porch couch for a lunch time nap.
Pictures of each person in our gathering traipse across my mind right now with so much love in my heart.
The sweetness of their sincerity, their desire to look closely at this mind which thinks as it does, and has all its objections to various forms of reality.
Everyone is so dear, so beautiful. I love them, and their stories, too.
Someone asked at the end….
….”What do I do when that horrible self-doubt arises again? When that guilt or disappointment enters my thinking?”
What do I do when I don’t feel good next time, when I have a hard time again, or when something really bad happens?
The most simple answer is…well, you guessed it…
…Do The Work.
But here’s what happens when you’re open to doing The Work regularly.
It starts working you.
You may have heard Byron Katie say this phrase. It comes from her describing her own experience.
What does it mean?
That you don’t actually have to try so hard.
Like a stalled car in a ditch that’s getting pushed back up to the road….
….at the beginning, a group of people grunt and heave-ho to get the thing moving.
ONE – TWO – THREE – PUSH!!!
Everyone leans in with all their might, grabbing the door handles, shoving from the trunk, pushing against partially opened doors.
Maybe one person has to sit in the driver’s seat holding the steering wheel in the right direction so things don’t go too off course.
The wheels turn and the car moves ever so slightly forward one inch, then rolls back to its original position.
Everyone rests a moment.
Then again….ONE – TWO – THREE – PUSH!!!
This time the wheels slowly crank forward two inches, then three.
Everyone is juiced up because there’s some action, no matter how small and how tiny. Movement is happening.
Someone shouts….AGAIN!!!!! ONE – TWO – THREE!!!
Everyone heaves again.
Then you can feel it. The momentum grabs hold, the wheels turning, the car coming up the ditch and back onto the road.
Everyone shouts HURRAY!!! And jumps for joy!!
The Work moves the same way.
You question your beliefs about the world. You watch your mind spinning off in despair, depression, disappointment or anger.
But you keep questioning.
You do it with other people. You get people to facilitate you.
Is this true? What is going on? Who would I be, how would I feel, without this belief? Without this defense? Without this terror?
I shared with the group this past weekend something I experienced while doing The Work over time.
One day, something really difficult happened.
Very soon (within minutes, or maybe seconds) I had the sick feeling of being wrong, of being a disgusting awful person who made a terrible mistake and hurt someone else and was clueless and stupid.
But then right in the middle of these terrible shouting thoughts, and the feeling of heaviness, I had the thought “what if this is not true?”
What if I am not bad, wrong, a mistake, unworthy, guilty….right now?
What if this feeling is not based on reality?
Because I already knew, deep down, it wasn’t.
And suddenly, the feeling vanished of being a worthless piece of dung….
….and the thoughts themselves dissolved.
I actually can’t remember what the specific incident was, but the dark feeling that I made a mistake was gone.
If you keep practicing something….
….how can it not become part of your nature?
I figure, I had already been practicing the unquestioned I-Am-Shit thoughts many days of my life….
….I may as well practice questioning them instead.
As I practiced, I began to see the present moment and how amazing it often was.
The goodness, the quiet, the simplicity, the silence.
I began to see the innocence of all the people I ever met, and of reality, and how out of my hands this whole thing actually is….
….and I could see the innocence of whomever this Grace Bell is too.
“Can you see how the mind has a plan? Can you know you’ll be afraid in the future? The flowers are still sitting here. They didn’t move because they were afraid [pointing to a vase of flowers]….Like a little child, you believe things that frighten you.You live in a world that isn’t happening, and you trade grace, for that.” ~ Byron Katie
Who would you be without your devastating, guilty or stressful thought?
Ask yourself over and over, and you begin to truly find out.
Without even trying. Because it’s bigger than your thinking, and it was there all along, before you ever had a thought about it.
This weekend I learned that for magicians, if they had to choose between audiences of adults or kids for who would be most easily and quickly fooled…..
…it would be adults.
The kids, apparently, are super curious, trying to figure out the trick, and able to think more outside the box.
Could you become more lightly curious about your troubles?
Wouldn’t it be great to have this approach when it comes to understanding stress, pain, and conflict in your life?I had a smile come across my face as I realized….
….that’s what self-inquiry and The Work offer.
A way to become curious about your problems, to study them with an open mind that knows there’s some other way to see this….
….you just don’t know what it is, yet.
When you have something deeply disturbing you….
….who would you be without the belief you have to figure it out, that this is serious, or that having no answer is frustrating, or terribly depressing?
What if you could trust, just a tad, that everything will be revealed at the right moment, in the right way, for your greatest peace, or enjoyment, or clarity?
I notice when I consider this question….
….I breath very deeply and pause.
Something within relaxes.
Maybe even becomes curious.
Without your stressful story….who, or what, would you be?
“You have traveled too fast over false ground; Now your soul has come to take you back. Take refuge in your senses, open up To all the small miracles you rushed through. Become inclined to watch the way of rain When it falls slow and free. Imitate the habit of twilight, Taking time to open the well of color That fostered the brightness of day. Draw alongside the silence of stone Until its calmness can claim you. Be excessively gentle with yourself.”
~ John O’Donohue
Could you be curious about your dilemma, like you are watching a magic show?
What is your stressful thought, the one you’re thinking over and over again?
Take it through inquiry.
A beautiful way to be gentle with yourself.
Much love,
Grace
P.S. Peace Talk podcast speaks to stress and money starting today, and two more times this upcoming week. Subscribe and listenHERE. Submit a rating and a review on itunes–it really helps get the word out.
My three sisters and I used to spend many summers with my grandparents in Muskogee, Oklahoma.
It was hot as an oven outside and we swam constantly in their backyard pool.
Some afternoons, we came inside to the cool air conditioned house in the hottest part of the afternoon and listened to records or watched Bat Man.
My grandma used to say, if she saw too much lazin’ around, or TV watchin’ going on with our bloodshot eyes from so much swimming:
What are you, a bump on a pickle?
Sometimes, people will write to me and ask….
….but if I do The Work on everything, I’ll wind up a puddle on the floor and do nothing.
Like, ever.
I’ll blow away across the horizon like a speck of dust. I’ll accomplish nothing.
I won’t care if someone hits me, I won’t follow doctor’s orders, or I’ll never make a million dollars, or publish a book.
They ask “don’t you worry about losing all your vim and vigor, your drive or passion, or your will?”
Well, I’ve had this thought myself, in the past.
If I really relax entirely, end this battle with all the little movements of life, and give in to what is….
….I’ll be nothing, do nothing, achieve nothing, desire nothing.
People get images of themselves never leaving difficult relationships, giving up on their dream of completing something creative, not sticking up for themselves or for others they care about.
But who would you be without the belief that who you are naturally, without having concern with reality in your mind, is a puddle of mush?
Who would you be without the thought its dangerous to give up being concerned?
Who would you be without the belief you have to make an effort, you have to “try”, you need to get somewhere, and you better be workin’ hard, dang it!?!
Are you sure you’d be a passive pile of nothingness?
Lately, I’ve noticed more than ever how life magnificently works itself out, dances and moves without me controlling things.
This includes ME not needing to control MYSELF!
Yes, a weird concept.
Who would you be without your belief that truly resting means you’re a bump on a pickle?
“When you follow the simple way of it, you notice that reality holds all the wisdom you’ll ever need. You don’t need any wisdom of your own. Plans are unnecessary. Reality always shows you what comes next, in a clearer, kinder, more efficient way than you could possibly discover for yourself.” ~ Byron Katie
Take a moment and feel how you are OK, and you are supported right now, as you read these words.
You are so wonderful, just the way you are, right now.
Don’t try to change.
Everything will be OK.
I think my grandma may have asked the best question ever. The answer is “yes”….I am a bump on a pickle.
Yesterday in Year of Inquiry we continued this month’s topic….
….Other People’s Suffering.
This is a great trigger for so many people, and it certainly has been for me.
My kid falls down and breaks his wrist, and I wasn’t there, but when I find out about it on the phone, a cloud of wild adrenaline zings through me, my mind races into a fury….
….I should be there now!
Quick, emergency! Horrors!
I drop everything and scramble to get there ASAP, in this wild, frantic whirlwind of fear. Driving fast. Feeling guilty.
What about a moment sitting with someone you love dearly, and they begin to speak about their deepest fears, and perhaps cry, or express despair?
Several people in Year of Inquiry noticed this experience with mothers and fathers.
These influential people called parents….
….they are suffering.
Bam. I am suffering. The minute I think they are.
Again….there’s a feeling of emergency, or deep sorrow, or anxiety, or a compulsive movement to fix it, to be helpful.
A dear mentor of mine once shared that she sat at her father’s deathbed and he said “my life has been such a disappointment” and she couldn’t stop thinking of this for years after he died.
Someone else is upset, suffering, feeling horrible, suicidal, depressed, unhappy in life.
Immediately, these thoughts are stirred up within me:
I have to do something…anything, to stop this.
Life is dangerous.
There is no clear way to solve this “problem”.
This could get worse.
I can’t handle this.
This is terrible.
Who would you be without your worried or sad thoughts, in the presence of this person?
Who would I be without the belief that this person’s circumstances are truly terrible? Without the belief I have to DO something? Or that it could get worse?
What if I didn’t crunch in and believe so totally that I can’t handle this (or they can’t) or that this is a problem?
Woah.
Strange indeed to not think of a broken wrist, or a very disappointed person, or death, or sadness as a terrible problem.
What if it wasn’t?
I notice all these things happen in reality….sadness, anger, disappointment, broken bones, illness, death.
Could it be possible to be with all these things, watch others go through these things, and NOT suffer?
Stunning to imagine.
“The primary thought is a thought of me. This thought of me, which is nothing but a thought, never could be anything but a thought or image. The me or I is constantly commenting on what is. Is it good?Is it bad? Do I like it? Do I disagree? Do I agree? How do I attain that? How do I get that? Or even…’I am enlightened’, or ‘I am not enlightened’. The thought is about the moment. The thought is about me, then my relationship with the moment. An imaginary character having and imaginary relationship with what is. It is called suffering….But without a thought, there is no commentator. Without thought, there can’t be a problem. Unless the mind comments on what is, and then creates a problem, there is none.” ~ Adyashanti
Even if you don’t “get” this entirely, and notice your mind has thoughts….
….what if even this was OK?
I turn the thoughts around about suffering:
I have to do nothing.
Life is safe.
There is no problem, and no clear way to solve it anyway.
This could get better.
I can handle this.
This is wonderful.
Could these not be just as true, or truer?
Is there anything else present, besides the commentator going on and on about what is?
I notice….yes.
So much is happening besides thought!
A great pulsating feeling of life, aliveness, sounds, sights, smells, touch. Wind chimes outside, mail truck driving by, heart beating, legs stretching, eyes gathering letters (reading) shadow and light forming on the wall outside, bustling life, a world alive and something here a part of this life force. A far greater expanse of awareness than whatever I see as “me”.
And in that past difficult situation, with a son who has a broken wrist, people were there to help, his father was present, emergency room doctors put on the cast, everything unrolled the way it does, and this “me” was not necessary.
Is it ever?
Wow.
“The mind is a couple of degrees removed from what is immediate. But as soon as I come back to the immediacy of all this, how still it is, how pervasive it is. I am still, silent, pervasive.” ~ Ross Oldenstadt
“You either believe what you’re thinking, or you question it….there’s no other choice”. ~ Byron Katie“OK, I’ll take questioning it.” ~ Grace Bell
After many requests and inquiries about the dates, times and plans for Year of Inquiry (YOI) group for 2015-2016….
….plus someone recently saying“put me on the list for YOI this fall, I’m definitely in!”….
….I thought I’d let you know YOI is coming kinda early, so you can decide to apply once I open up the application process.
If you’re drawn to dive into this ongoing work with others in a deep, committed way, and you’ve found you don’t do The Work as regularly as you’d like, YOI may be for you.
[stextbox id=”custom” caption=”Year of Inquiry Applications Open In July–Program Begins Sept 2015″][/stextbox]
YOI is a small group of inquirers from all over the world who meet together for a year, starting in September.
It’s not a training to learn exactly how to facilitate inquiry (although you will).
It’s not a certification or something you need to pass or graduate from (in fact, people re-enroll year after year).
This group consists of people dedicated and deeply intending to jostle their stressful beliefs loose from their conditioned ways of relating to people, to themselves, to life. To wonder about their troubling stories. To practice catching their stressful thoughts that can take off like a bullet, and begin to honestly slow down, slow down….
….and discover the awe of being what it’s like to not believe stressful thought.
Wow. It’s a such an incredible journey.
And not easy to do alone.
In fact for me, impossible.
I began self-inquiry using the Work of Byron Katie in 2003. I joke around (although it’s basically true) that I didn’t really actually DO The Work until I attended the School for The Work in 2005 and was surrounded by people questioning their beliefs every day for 9 days.
Then, I did The Work in earnest.
I got what it could be for me.
It was a new way of life, entirely. It became deeply compelling. Even a matter of life or death….a way to not move like a magnet towards negative drama, suspicious thinking, worry, anxiety, anger, terror.
It felt like I moved in and out of a sea of stressful thought daily. I began to see the nature of my mind. So worried all the time. So freaked out when “bad” stuff happened!
I was like a nervous ninny about life. I thought I needed to control myself….all the time, in practically every way.
Love, money, friends, health, family, partners…..oh my! So much could go wrong! So much imperfection in the world!
Back in 2005, I made a huge leap into peace when I discovered the value of questioning my stressful thoughts.
It wasn’t easy for me. I didn’t see any changes right off the bat. But fortunately, I knew to not focus on results. (I learned to not EVER do this, eventually).
Instead, I learned to be in this moment now, inquiring into what felt painful to think.
I knew I was hooked.
I also had a mind so fast, it would compulsively scream (on the inside) that being at peace was dangerous, or not possible, and that I should be on alert like a coiled spring!
I went on my first longer meditation retreat that same year, in 2005, and found myself so busy mentally during the immense silence, I couldn’t sleep well, I had vivid dreams, and I felt like I might go crazy.
Talk about drama.
A short while later, through beautiful unfolding circumstances, I became a facilitator of this work.
First and foremost, it felt like a gift of the deepest joy to ME.
Yes, it was selfish. But finally, in a good way.
Before I learned self-inquiry, I was selfish in a very self-critical way. I felt self-hatred, fear, rage and confusion about being here as a human. I was at war with reality, which included myself.
I constantly had questions: what is life for? why am I here? what’s going on? what should I do? how do I calm down? how can I become a better person?
I had done therapy, workshops, read a thousand books, been on a spiritual hunt for peace.
But finally, I had a way to inquire into my compulsive anxiety, my addiction to thinking and believing I was what I thought.
I have now practiced inquiry for these past ten years, with the support of all of you who show up in my life to share this amazing process of awakening and the discovery of peace.
It’s very simple really.
The mind likes complicated. It wants more, bigger, better, more …. endlessly.
But in YOI, we keep it simple, and through this simple structure in Year of Inquiry, we commit to answering the four questions, hearing other peoples’ answers, working under the umbrella of a new and often-stressful topic every month, and sharing in the enlightenment journey.
Together, we’re waking up to reality, one inquiry session at a time.
The way Year of Inquiry works is, first….
….you get to stay connected to inquiry for an entire year.
Year of Inquiry starts in September 2015 and ends in June 2016, with a virtual summer camp for July and August also included for every YOI member (Summer Camp For The Mind is an intensivedaily 5 weeks of inquiry set up to keep you deeply in the process–you can join any sessions you like).
All that’s required for regular participation in YOI is being able to dial in with your phone or with skype (it’s free) to a private teleconference line.
We have virtual inquiry sessions 3 times a week (at different hours) for 3 weeks every month (usually the first three).
You can sign up for telesessions only, if you live very far away like Indonesia, South Africa, Japan or Germany (we’ve had people from 7 countries and 10 states participate).
Or, you can sign up for the Full YOI Program and join me for a fall and a spring retreat, each 3 full days (Friday-Sunday) of exercises built to help identify stressful thoughts, personal cleansing inquiry, and sharing with like-minded people who learn the truth of who you are.
As one Year of Inquiry member wrote recently, in our 8th month of inquiring together:
Grace,
So, here’s what I’ve been noticing in the last few days. I have stressful beliefs ALL OF THE TIME. I had never even recognized it, but knew something might be off in the way I felt (emotionally or physically). I’m really seeing my stressful beliefs and how I think things SHOULD go. I’m really understanding now that if I have a worksheet on someone or something…it is how I see everything.
I wanted to express my gratitude. (YOI member).
Now here’s the thing.
There are no guarantees such as “you will feel glorious, you will be liberated, you will wake up” or any such claims about doing YOI.
But you know that already.
Like other inner journeys unique to you, you may find the arrow is shooting out in a certain direction, but no telling when or how it will land exactly.
I notice, I have no idea when or how this work “works” for anyone, or even for myself.
I just know it does.
My life is absolutely nothing like it was when I began self-inquiry using this simple method introduced by Byron Katie (deep bow of gratitude for Katie, forever).
My inquiry has expanded into areas I never dreamed it would expand. This mind does its thing, and something within watches, chuckles, and rests at peace, joyfully.
The peace is here, and has been the entire time….
….I just never saw it before.
I cherish those who appear in Year of Inquiry, each and every one of you. You are a part of my path.
What a wonderful journey it is.
If you’re interested in reading more about YOI, have questions about the details and the fees (these vary depending on your level of participation)….
Doing The Work with others brings deep and powerful support and connection
Only 4 spots left for Being With Byron Katie, an unusual event where we’ll be watching Katie on screen via internet as she teaches a retreat in Switzerland July 11-14.
Because this event is via internet, the cost is only $165 for all four days. These last spots available are for commuters only (a mattress may be free for you if you want to sleep in our big private rented lodge). We’ll have a ball together (24 people total), share potluck lunch, and have one hour of silent sitting meditation each day at 2:30 pm.
A fantastic group of people interested in questioning stressful thinking. What could be more wonderful?
Perhaps Breitenbush Retreat June 24-29!
This is a deep intensive dive into your inner world of stressful thinking, where you will get to do The Work with me and the incredible group who always assembles for 4.5 days. We gather to declare peace through this powerful self-inquiry.
Breitenbush Hotsprings is a gorgeous conference center located in old growth forest in Oregon. This retreat also has 20 people registered (capacity is 28) so call soon to make your reservation 503-854-3320.
The Breitenbush Retreat offers mental health counselors 26 CEUs.
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Speaking of gatherings and retreats, it seems like a summer full of contemplative activities, doing this powerful work, is spread before me.
In only two weeks, all the people in Year of Inquiry who can come, plus some Year of Inquiry alumni, will be arriving in Seattle and coming to my cottage to do The Work for three days.
My hands are clapping!
I love that it doesn’t matter where you are for this work.
You can be deeply concerned, very frightened about a particular issue or situation or person….
….or concerned about something that seems petty and small, and unimportant in the big scheme of things.
Long ago, a dear friend and inquirer and I had made plans to exchange facilitation in The Work.
She had facilitated me through a worksheet I wrote on my impending divorce.
I felt sick to my stomach, almost every day.
I was terrified I would never find a job, my money was draining out of my bank account faster than the sinking Titanic, I was a bundle of pain and agony.
I felt a little lighter after she facilitated me. Like chipping away at a big block of granite, my beliefs about being supported in life getting broken into pieces one hammer-strike at a time.
Then we switched roles.
Now I would facilitate her.
Her stressful belief was on her kitchen drawer.
It wouldn’t open properly, after the recent remodel.
“It should open easily.”
Seriously??
As I asked her the four questions, I noticed with amazement the joy of doing this work on something so apparently insignificant.
I could feel the frustration having a thought like this, that sometimes made me want to bang something around, throw my hands up in frustration, lose my temper in a fury, slam a door, or a drawer, break something.
Who would you be without the belief that this drawer, or anything, should open more easily than it is opening?
What if everything, even a drawer, is exactly in place, doing what it does, without a need to argue with it, or against it?
As my friend answered the questions, it washed through me….
….what if my estranged husband shouldn’t open, either?
What if all was going along in the best way possible?
What if I didn’t get involved in being opposed to or in favor of thislife?
Turning the thought around….
….this dear friend found the opposite: “my mind should open easily”.
WOW!
I chuckled softly.
I could find this, too.
Later, after the phone call was over and we had hung up, I sat silently.
A sense of peace, quiet, and emptiness beyond all words, beyond all thinking, beyond needing to do something or fix anything, wrapped around me.
Everything was going to be OK.
It already was.
Thank you for inquiry, on a drawer in a kitchen that wasn’t even mine.
Sometimes inquiry works in the oddest ways.
“There is no peace in the world until you find peace within yourself in this moment. Live these turnarounds, if you want to be free. That’s what Jesus did, what the Buddha did. That’s what all the famous great ones did, and all the unknown great ones who are just living it in their homes and communities, happily and in peace.” ~ Byron Katie
Do The Work on whatever you see around you that brings you stress. Begin with one situation at a time. Nothing more is required.
You can do this.
Come gather with a group on retreat, if you want support in getting there.
Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Thoughts are crazy wild, racing down the German Autobahn.
It is concerning, since thoughts move and multiply so chaotically and exponentially, when a thought produces stress.
Gentle, happy, easy, smooth or wonderful thoughts aren’t so difficult to deal with.
(Although…funny side effect……when you question troubling thoughts, the thrilling ones can also dissolve. This is not a bad thing. More on this another day).
Thoughts. Move. Fast.
This is on my mind because I spoke about “stopping” thought on the Peace Talk podcast I was recording just today.
You can’t.
Stop thought, that is.
But you can stop believing what you think, taking it seriously, thinking its important, repeating it for years.
How?
Through self-inquiry, of course. Do The Work.
Why do it though?
What a pain…..I mean, it takes work. It seems like when doing the work, the mind is busy-busy and the brain is analyzing and obsessing and contemplating and “working” and crunching.
You have to write things down, to have to get people to ask you the four questions, you have to look at your immature, frightened thinking.
Who needs it!?!
Jeez! Give it a rest!
That’s the thing, though.
Have you tried to give it a rest, and noticed…
…you actually can’t?
Mind thinks thoughts.
“You either question your stressful thoughts, or not. That’s your only choice.” ~ Byron Katie
If you notice your mind has occasionally been full of thoughts about a topic, a person, an issue, an incident or a situation.
And you’ve even tried many ways of resolving these thoughts, getting rid of them, shaking them off, changing the channel, eating, drinking, distracting yourself, falling in love, quitting, moving on, going to therapy.
If you’ve tried everything, may you might want to write down what runs through your mind?
The uncomfortable, terrible thoughts.
And ask….
Is it true?
Are you absolutely sure?
How do you react when you believe this, when you think it over and over again? What happens inside your body? How do you act?
Who would you be if you just got here from Jupiter and you weren’t a human after all but instead were an entity made of star dust? Like ET, what if you had never learned, with all your conditioning and stories, all the ideas you have about THIS difficult situation?
Can you use your imagination to see things differently?
Start with one simple painful thought.
Like….she hurt me. He hurt me. I’m in danger. This isn’t safe.
Become an un-believer. Give yourself the freedom you really, truly desire.
The freedom you truly have already.
“Human beings have a drive for security and safety, which is often what fuels the spiritual search. This very drive for security and safety is what causes so much misery and confusion. Freedom is a state of complete and absolute insecurity and not knowing. So, in seeking security and safety, you actually distance yourself from the freedom you want. There is no security in freedom, at least not in the sense that we normally think of security. This is, of course, why it is so free: there’s nothing there to grab hold of.” ~ Adyashanti
My three sisters and I used to spend many summers with my grandparents in Muskogee, Oklahoma.
