Next Saturday: Mini retreat for anyone 1:30-5:30 pm 2/1 Goldilocks Cottage Seattle. Beginners and experienced all welcome to come do The Work…your work. Question your thinking, change your life. Supplies and snacks.
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This is boring.
How many times in your life have you had that thought?
Sometimes it’s got a friendly feel to it, like when a good friend leans over to you at a school lecture and whispers it, and you both smile.
Sometimes it’s got a little more punch to it.
Like when you’re at work in a meeting and fifteen employees stand up to talk about their new department reports one after the other. Yawn.
Sometimes…it’s more like “this is soooooo freakin’ boring, I’m gonna rip my eyes out!”
Heh heh.
Not that I myself would be so impatient.
But since I notice a little, uh, aggravation accompanying this aggressive thought, let’s do The Work.
First, when does that thought rise up most of all? When does it feel the strongest, the surge of frustration, the wave of irritation?
SOOOOOOOO BORING!!
Is there a person involved?
Because for me, there’s always another person involved.
Some people think it’s boring to be sitting somewhere all alone, waiting for their turn perhaps, waiting to board the train, waiting for the forms to get filled out.
But that’s never really that boring.
In that situation, I’m always staring at all the activity, the people, the room, the furniture with a sort of fascination. I don’t mind waiting.
No, for me….the Boredom Attack comes on when I think Someone Else is extra crazy boring.
- How can he talk endlessly about how he wants a girlfriend, for so many years?
- She always has the same problem….her mean neighbor and other rude people
- Him and his drunkalogues and drinking escapades….so annoying
- He never stops mentioning his need to lose weight
- Oh here we go again with her about her husband and how boring HE is
In that moment, the voice inside my head is “bored” with the other person’s story.
So how do I react when I believe that they are telling a boring, repetitive story?
I think they should be quiet, give it a rest, stop complaining, DO something about their “problem” for once.
Is that true that they should do something, quit bellyaching about the same thing over and over again, move on?
I have no idea. It’s not absolutely true.
The way I react is inside, I’m rolling my eyes, I pull away, zone out, tune out, think about how to get outta here, away from their moving lips.
But I don’t say anything I’m thinking.
Wouldn’t want to be rude. Or mean.
Who would I be if I didn’t believe that they should do something, stop repeating their story, and put an end to telling me about it?
Wow.
Without the belief that they are a problem?
I’d listen. I mean….actually really listen, and then move on myself.
I might say “I’ve heard you speak about this before, several times. This is really important to you and it sounds like you have no idea how to sort this out. How can I help?”
Right in the middle of their sentence I might say “I’m going now”and go to my next interest.
Without the thought, I hear them telling their story and don’t feel serious about it.
I don’t believe their story is absolutely true, even if they think it is.
I notice where I am drawn, what I find appealing and exciting and pleasurable….and I go that way, naturally.
I turn the thoughts around:
They should not quit yakking on and on about the same thing, I should. They are not a problem for me. They are expressing themselves the best they know how. They shouldn’t do something to fix their problem, I should do something to fix MY problem—with THEM.
If I really lived this turnaround, opened to a new way of being instead of being so positive they are boring….
….I would realize how boring I am.
I say the same thing EVERY TIME about that person.
I behave the SAME way. I go foggy and start figuring out ways to exit the conversation the way I always do.
“The human condition is characterized by a compulsive and obsessive personal relationship to thought……You must become more interested in the Unknown than in that which is known. Otherwise you will remain enslaved by the very narrow and distorted perspective of conceptual thinking. You must go so deeply into the Unknown that you are no longer referencing thought to tell you who and what you are.” ~ Adyashanti
In that moment when I think someone is boring, who is the boring one?
Because in reality, this is the most fascinating, creative, mysterious, bizarre world, along with everyone I encounter.
When that supposedly boring person is talking, I might simply move towards something else, walk away.
Or suddenly feel like going over to them and giving them a big bear hug.
With love,
Grace