The suffering of “I won’t have enough”

In these strange times when a lot is happening in the world in extra intense ways, you may notice that thoughts you’ve had that feel stressful (or OK, terrifying) are even bigger and more pronounced.

I’ve been working with people all week doing The Work who report that some situation or relationship they previously had found insight on…..is BACK.

Kinda like those horror movies.

Ugh.

Arguing too much, feeling too much, eating too much, spending too much, worrying too much. Seeing images of a difficult or catastrophic or torturous future.

An excruciating belief can be this little ditty (a ditty is a little song, by the way…a little song or song snippet that keeps repeating in your head that you can’t stop hearing, can’t stop singing).

Maybe it feels like a full symphony orchestral piece. With strings, horns and percussion sections.

I won’t have enough.

To hold this belief, I notice I need to have experienced not-enough-ness, heard about other people not having enough, been terrified of Not Enough in the past.

I need to believe in this thing called Not Enough and that it means something terrible.

Like suffering, rejection, abandonment, pain, or death.

Who are we when we believe there isn’t enough, or won’t be later?

Freaking out. Worried. Planning incessantly. Busy. Sitting in our quiet little homes in silence, imagining a torturous future.

So who would we be without our story?