Something terrible is happening. Not a new thought.

When we do The Work, the very first place to start is finding a situation we hold as difficult, upsetting, horrifying, irritating or depressing.

The feeling we have about a situation can be anything uncomfortable, whether slightly uncomfortable or massively, outrageously uncomfortable.

The difficult feeling is the result of us thinking.

Isn’t this alone absolutely fascinating to notice?

The mind is activated, we see images and words, or hear sounds like when a song is playing in our heads.

Images, sounds, words….it happens amazingly fast. Brilliantly fast.

Our bodies feel it. The nervous system is activated.

Some of us think: “I need to stop thinking” or “I need to avoid the news” or “they should stop thinking” or maybe “they should be thinking MORE about this, just like I am”.

But this is just another set of thoughts from the mind’s Thought and Feeling Management Department.

I love that we get to notice feelings, and actually respect and honor them.

I used to hate them.

If I started to feel in a big way upset, angry, afraid, terrified, worried….I’d basically immediately begin to think about ways to divert these feelings, or shut them down, or find the “true” answer out there so I could rest assured all was well and I was safe.

Other people don’t like big feelings, right? We need to suppress them. They are terrible, we think.

How do we react when we believe “SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS HAPPENING!!!?”

We may be used to believing this, even about our very feelings and emotions, from very young.

A few different strategies the mind will come up with (at least I always did) for handling any Terrible Thing:

A) Let’s try not to think about it. Distract. Focus on peace. Do your mantra. Get upset with people who are talking and posting about the virus. Eat. Drink. Smoke. Clean. Avoid.

B) Worry about what you will FEEL if/when that image you’ve read about or seen (or remembered) happens….most of all death. Or perhaps, suffering. Pain. Not breathing.

Example 1: if someone in my family dies, it’ll probably be me, and my kids will suffer for the rest of their lives. Example 2: if someone in my close circle dies like my mom or my husband or my child, I will suffer for the rest of my life.

Example 3: anything else I’ve heard about suffering, pain, death and dying and imagining it or remembering it.

C) Plan or prepare what you will DO if/when that threatening thing happens.

Example 1: Buy lots of stuff right now.

Example 2: Plan what you’ll do today, or this week, that helps manage the anxiety (See A above)

What I’m really struck by today is noticing the endless habit the mind has to figure it out, make a good plan, be ready, KNOW.

It’s not like I haven’t had the thought before;“something terrible is happening”.

Loss, worry, emptiness, death, attack, absence of what was hoped for, failure….all of this has occurred in my perceptions of What Is over and over again.

These are the topics of my worksheets. These are the experiences I’ve brought to The Work.

So who am I without the belief “Something TERRIBLE is happening?!”

A brilliant moment to notice this profound work is not about denial or pretending something is NOT happening that actually is happening (although in my quiet little cottage I haven’t seen any virus yet, just saying).

Who or what are we without this story?

Last week a wonderful inquirer in the Year of Inquiry group shared a fabulous question in our monthly discussion about The Work and questions or concerns or thoughts about doing The Work:

What if we do The Work and we’re just whistling in the dark?

But as we all shared and contemplated our experiences in questioning our stress, we noticed doing The Work is about accessing reality in a clearer way, aware there’s a pandemic and being with What Is without panic or rage.

We don’t even wish our fear would subside. There’s value in this energy called “fear”. Or perhaps we could call it alertness, awareness.

I notice “fear” changes.

Who am I without my belief “something terrible happened”or “something terrible is happening right now” or “something terrible will happen later”?

Having an honest conversation with Reality.

Without the thought, I’m not against other people and what THEY are doing, I’m enjoying my own mind and my own company, I’m amazed by the beauty of the rug on the floor.

Seriously.

Without the thought I feel a sense of falling but it’s like flying. So beautiful, and fun. Loving All This. Resting somehow, noticing the peace right here now. Following the simple directions, without panic.

Without the belief, I have a broader, wider, kinder, unconditional perspective. My conversation with reality is one of trust, like with a good mentor I adore and respect.

Turning the thought around: Something Wonderful Is Happening. 

Could this be just as true, or truer?

As someone said in this morning’s Year of Inquiry group call: I’m sitting with awareness of my own death, how I’m here temporarily. Feeling the closeness of others who have died (the inquirer spoke of her own son). 

Other examples of the belief that something wonderful is happening, (never meaning to be harsh, this is only about noticing):

a) people are at work studying viruses and immunizations

b) nature is clearing things out, pressing the control-alt-delete button (which has great advantages)

c) I get to study the human experience of death, my own mortality, and feel it without fear–which is incredibly empowering

d) the drawers and closets and outdoor shed beckon for spring cleaning–it’s uncanny how many people are suddenly aware of their “stuff” and interested in sorting through it

e) I get to see all my usual clients at their usual times instead of being on silent retreat for 10 days as I had originally scheduled at this time–on zoom of course

The most powerful turnaround is: something terrible is happening in my mind.

My thoughts fill with images of the devastating future, a sick world, torn apart families, inability to breath, fear, ruin, failure, comparison, greed.

The mind forgets to notice what’s outside my window, the whirr of the heater still pouring out heat on a windy spring chilly afternoon, the sound of birds chirping, the wonder of what is right now, today.

This moment, how would God or All of Reality look at whatever we think of as Terrible?

“As we question a stressful thought, we see for ourselves that it’s untrue; we get to look at the cause and effect of it, to observe in sobering detail exactly what modes of pain and confusion result from believing it; then we get a glimpse into the empty mirror, the world beyond our story of the world, and see what our life would be like without the thought; and finally we get to experience the opposite of what we have so firmly believed and to find specific examples of how these opposites are true. Once we deeply question a thought, it loses its power to make us suffer, and eventually it ceases even to arise.” ~ Byron Katie in 1000 Names for Joy

Much love,

Grace