The other day, an inquirer shared a passage from a book by a well-known author and spiritual teacher.
The writing from the book included a sentence or two that began with “we” and it was a positive statement about human goodness and our innate abilities to awaken or be peaceful.
The sentences sounded something like this, so wildly paraphrased they aren’t correct at all, but you’ll get the feel of it: “We” all can find that inner peaceful place inside. “We” all have the ability to settle down and find freedom. “We” are all ultimately good, or doing the best we can.
You may have read lots of sentences like this from many authors, teachers, religious texts, lecturers, leaders, explorers of human nature and those interested in peace.
There’s so much written out there, right?
You could never read it in a lifetime, or even three. Endless quantities of information really. Byron Katie alone has said so much about the experience of being human, thinking, feeling, changing, questioning thought.
It all sounds very nice and everything, but is what you learn, read, take in, hear….actually true, for you?
What struck me about what this inquirer was sharing, was something I found very exciting.
She said she couldn’t assume this positive, favorable paragraph written about people and their access to peace to be true.
Neither can I.
(Even though I often experience people, life, circumstances and how things unfold as absolutely magical, quite honestly, it is all so strange and also wonderful….AND I also experience fear, worry and discomfort and see images that never come true, which is also strange and wonderful).
But back to this issue of believing what others say, think, do or write….and questioning it for ourselves.
Even if it seems “positive”.
I recently watched the brilliant Brene Brown in an interview. She said in her research studies on compassion with over 400 subjects, they had asked a particular question: “Do you think people are fundamentally doing the best they can?”
Brene’s own original answer to this question?
Hell to the no!
I loved her honesty around this.
What I notice is, assuming something is or is not true and taking someone else’s word for it, is not really “inquiry”.
It’s an assumption.
And this work is not about feeling good, assuming it’s all good, sweet, lovely and sugary syrup, and flashing the peace sign.
LOL.
So when you look inside yourself, or look at what you’ve decided about humanity and our capacity for peace, what do you actually see? Are we fundamentally “good” or “bad” or “foolish” or “wise”?
People are like x. People are like y.
Is it true?
You may find, if you sit with it like I did, you don’t really know. So much variety, potential, chaos, joy, despair. I don’t know what’s going on with people.
For me, this was an absolutely wonderful awareness.
It’s also why it’s so, so helpful to look at one situation at a time.
With the steps of inquiry known as The Work, we can focus very distinctly on one group of people, or one person, or one experience we’ve had, to see if our assumptions are true, or not?
With grand statements about all of humanity, or the universe, or the meaning of life?
I Do Not Know.
(This is probably the case with all the unique little situations I’ve experienced, too).
Here’s something interesting to notice in the midst of all this;
How do I react when I believe people are NOT doing the best they can or things here on planet earth aren’t OK?
Resentful. Irritated. Cautious. Isolated. I want nothing to do with people, and sometimes, nothing to do with this life I’m living.
Get it over with. Who cares?
When I look at the world with these glasses on, I cut the world into those who are succeeding or helpful, and those who aren’t. I usually consider myself to be one of those who also isn’t doing the best they can. In and out of peace, unwilling, compulsive, always worrying about something. I’m definitely arguing, on the inside. I’m against.
So what’s it like when I think people ARE doing the best they can and the world is OK? (Or that people CAN find peace within, or discover freedom, and access their inner wisdom or all that nice sounding stuff)?
I feel more open, curious. Even simply willing. Noticing I’m here and so are they, and I’ve had every experience under the sun from horrible to wonderful and here am, being here, still alive.
Except I notice I can be curious, willing and more peaceful even if I’m not so sure about what people are by nature.
I think “we are all good, life is good”….I’m here.
I think “we are all falling short or bad, life is hard”….I’m here.
I notice my thoughts don’t really know anything and my mind can’t possibly be the thing with the final answer. As if an answer is required.
The honest answer in the mind is “I don’t know”.
And I should know. Wait, is it true?
I need to know. Is it true?
Uh, No.
Turning these thoughts around we can always find the opposites about humanity and life: good, bad, bad, good. Lots of examples and proof.
My thinking is perceiving this as good, my thinking is perceiving this as bad, my thinking is fearful, angry, unhappy….or calm, delighted, loving.
I have to believe what someone else writes or says, or I should, in order to feel good…is that true?
I should believe it’s a friendly universe….really?
The freedom here to think whatever we think is infinite, wild, astonishing.
I love what Brene Brown reported her husband said when she asked him “do you think people are doing the best they can?”
He went to think about it for awhile, and came back and said “I have no idea. But I notice when I imagine they are, it works better, I enjoy life more.”
Does this mean we should assume goodness or friendliness or that people are doing their best, or that we’re all able to find ultimate peace?
No.
And.
Without any set assumption, being for or against what is, I’m here in this moment right now without needing to know the future, or needing to be against the past.
I’m here. Aware. Awake. Seeing, feeling, sensing, wondering.
Not one single answer confirmed, and apparently, that’s OK. Because that’s the way of it.
Look, and it can’t be seen.
If you want to take a close look at beliefs causing you angst, upset, fear, or depression whether they’re “positive” ideas or “negative” ideas about the world….
….come join Summer Camp For The Mind.
There are four questions, and finding turnarounds.
But far, far, far more important?
Our own answers.
“Enlightenment is standing on your own two feet.” ~ Adyashanti
A most wonderful independence to celebrate today, the kind where we’re aware there’s no one but us, and it’s OK….more than OK.
We start Summer Camp for The Mind on Monday, July 8th.
For all of you who’d appreciate trying it out first, without committing, the first two sessions will be open to anyone and everyone,
- Monday 7/8 from 4:00-6:00 pm PT Click HERE to join.
- Tuesday 7/9 from 8:00-10:00 am PT. Click HERE to join.
- after you’re connected enter the password “summerpeace”
Also, I know I’m announcing 865 things lately that are upcoming, but I literally just drove by the gorgeous lodge we’re renting for October retreat in Pennsylvania!! It’s so beautiful, I had to tell you about it. (I’m far from home right now for a cousin’s wedding)!
Wow, east coast folks….you never mentioned how amazing the terrain is, the beauty. Truly amazing.
Autumn Retreat starts the evening of Thursday, October 17th and ends Sunday at noon. The closest little town about 5 miles away is called White Haven, PA (adorable).
This will be a retreat surrounded by beautiful country (fall colors) in the northeastern USA. Everyone can stay onsite (3 private bedrooms, and many more comfortable beds) and we’ll share some meals and do The Work. Check your calendar, read about it or sign up here. (A few photos on the information page).
And happy independence, happy interdependence, happy dependence and everything in between and beyond….for isn’t the full range of it all what life is all about.
Much love,
Grace