One of my favorite moments in the brand new Year of Inquiry group, that just began last week, was when someone wrote to me on our little private group membership board….
….”I had no idea! And the individuals have all kinds of drama and angst just like me!”
There’s something so wonderful about realizing you are not alone.
As Byron Katie says….that there are no new thoughts.
This is quite profound.
All the thoughts you’ve ever had….all those terribly stressful, intense, horrifying, dramatic, terrible, selfish, condemning thoughts….
….all of them are Not New.
Isn’t this amazing?
You didn’t think your dreadful thoughts up! You didn’t invent them! It’s not some special problem, all yours, that you need to fix!
Who would you be without the belief that you’re twisted, messed up, wrong, deranged….that there’s something wrong with you, or your mind, and your thoughts?
Yesterday I was riding my bicycle on the very same trail I’ve been down hundreds of times. Hundreds.
The day was a late summer, gorgeous golden light day, with the poplar trees making that glorious sssshhhh-ing sound as I flew by.
In the middle of my ride, as my body is moving quickly (I notice this happens a lot while the physical form is busy) I wondered….
….what is without thought like, here?
Who am I without thoughts?
What’s going on here, if I didn’t have a thought?
Colors, sounds, people passing in the other direction on foot, or other bikers, or roller bladers. Shadows dancing. Leaves blowing. Green colors in all different shapes and sizes. The smell of blackberry bushes. The place I always turn around that I call the Infinity Tree (There are eight trunks. I’m serious. Eight trunks coming out of one tight circle of tree).
Who would I be in that moment, riding and peddaling along a river trail on a bike, without all the infinite thoughts that tend to appear?
It’s really…without BELIEVING the thoughts that appear.
Because thoughts appear….you can’t help it.
Your brain is running. If it’s empty, that’s OK. This is just noticing, what if there isn’t a “good” and a “bad” about mind creating thought?
What is believing?
This is a brilliant question.
Who would you be without believing your thought?
You only need to contemplate ONE thought at a time. Keep it simple. You don’t have to try to be someone without ALL thoughts, or some dramatic big wide goal to experience life, or a moment, without a thought. That would be tiring to try to do that.
But any of us can find what it’s like without believing.
I once heard the definition of “believing” is thinking the same thing over and over and over and over again and experiencing the feelings that accompany stressful thoughts over and over again, too.
That’s it.
Repetitive thinking along with feeling. Considering what you think to be true. Acting like it IS true. That’s believing.
Nothing more.
I noticed on the very same ride, I thought of someone I feel sad about. He left without saying goodbye. I wonder where he is now, if he’s alive and happy and thriving?
I think of this person almost every time I take a bike ride.
But who am I without the belief that anything I’m thinking….is true?
I am simply noticing. Noticing thought happens.
Noticing the SAME thoughts happen. (LOL, right)?
Who would you be without your story that thinking means anything? Or means what you think it means?
What if you are a human, with a mind and a brain and experiences….and you aren’t so different after all? You’ve got drama, and angst, and worry, and fear, and love, and kindness.
And something, some part of “you” that’s without thought.
You have THAT, too.
“Loving what is, is not accepting what is. It’s not kind of appreciating what is. It is loving what is. It is very exciting.” ~ Byron Katie
This is all of it.
“Thinking” and being a part of the human race. Sharing the same kind of mind.
Wondering about this stunning, thrilling question “who would you be without your thought?”
“Imagine that you are the Buddha under the Bodhi tree, or Christ in the desert, remaining perfectly still and unmoved by the body-mind’s nightmare. It may feel very real but it really is nothing more than a convincing illusion.” ~ Adyashanti
You are not alone. You can do this.
Much love,
Grace