So touched by my latest Peace Talk conversation with Debra Wilkinson, awakened and bright (and free from nutty eating, a freedom we share).
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Next week I’m off to California to teach Eating Peace near Oakland, starting Friday 9:30 am. Join me if what you really want is to understand what makes you eat (or think) out-of-balance without trying to destroy your cravings, or yourself, on the way.
Why do I mention this idea about destroying cravings?
Well…..isn’t it what we’ve all wished for, or tried to do, unsuccessfully? The cravings sure don’t have to be about food. they can be for anything.
We wish we’d stop wanting or thinking about “x”, we go to war and try to kill the craving for “x”, but the image or desire for “x” keeps returning.
I got to work with a lovely inquirer just yesterday, on her cravings for potato chips. This is not the first time someone has come to a session to inquire on craving, specifically, potato chips.
But you can do this on anything: chocolate, sugar, tobacco, alcohol, sex, gambling, cleaning, internetting, working, exercising, wealth.
The feeling is “I have to do this”.
You won’t feel settled, calm, and relaxed until you get or do this thing.
I often found inside myself that this deep craving, and the activity of pursuing it and feeding it (literally, for me) was my reaction to a belief.
If you have NO IDEA what belief you’re thinking that would drive you to ingest something or do something whacked like spend $1000 on credit cards you don’t have, then take a moment to do this exercise. The inquirer working on her craving for potato chips did this with me yesterday.
Invite the craving to take a physical shape and form, like a person.
What does this being look like?
Did you hear the knock on the door? Say “come in” for once, instead of “get lost you creep!”
Have them sit down with you, like you’re doing a therapy session with them, or a special heart-to-heart conversation, or a mediated talk.
Tell the craving you’re sorry you’ve been trying to kill them all these years, and now….you’re willing to listen.
Get out your notebook, like you’re an amazing world famous journalist, and start writing.
What color is this craving? Where does it sit, in relation to you (and especially when it was around and you wound up getting overwhelmed by it)? What is its temperature? What shape is it? Where is it moving? What does it remind you of?
If this craving had a voice, what would it tell you?
Ask it why it’s here? What’s it trying to help you avoid? What’s it trying to help you get, that you think is missing right now?
When you think about the last time this craving visited you, what else were you upset about, or worried about, or thinking about….that the craving needed to come visit?
What do you believe, if anything, that you can’t handle? What do you believe is really honestly missing, in that moment where you needed to do something, or eat something?
What was wrong with that moment, that getting this thing or doing this activity would soothe?
These are some very powerful questions.
Questions that help you get curious about what’s going on, instead of remain at war.
Because what I do know about war with reality is, you lose.
And craving/grabbing/reaching/wanting is a part of your reality, right?
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy–the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
~ Brene Brown
No, this is not about giving in to your cravings and gobbling everything in sight for the rest of your life.
It’s the opposite.
This is about dealing with them once and for all.
It’s not easy, but discovering the infinite power of your light is no small thing.
It’s worth it.
Much love,
Grace
P.S. Eating Peace Retreat.