If you’re wondering about attending tomorrow’s Mini Retreat in Seattle (all afternoon from 1:30-5:30 doing The Work) then the quickest way to get a reply today is to write jonzondo@juno.com. I’m still out of email receiving mode, on retreat with Adyashanti. I’ll personally reply to you early tomorrow morning if you’re wondering if there is still room, and let you know!
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The other day I was talking with my mom who turned 77 last summer. She goes hiking once a week all day, skis all winter, travels the world with friends and just took a 100 mile walking trip through England traipsing from castle to castle and staying in B&Bs.
Then she mentioned arthritis.
She said the doctors exclaim when they see her xrays.
“You should be in a wheelchair! It is remarkable how easily you get around, how nimble!”
Wait…she has arthritis?
She described the pain that flares up sometimes, and then resides. She takes supplements and extremely good care of her body. She eats exceptionally well, she gets body work, she does yoga.
The next day after our conversation, my left hip hurt.
It’s hurt before. It seems to go away when I dance, go away when I sleep. I can’t quite tell, though.
Funny how I don’t pay attention to the body unless it has a sensation of discomfort, pain, some kind of call towards a body part.
For the first time, when I have this fleeting, passing ache….I have the thought “I wonder if this is ARTHRITIS?!”
Since I just heard all about it the day before.
I have genes from my mother, right? My mind has put a few factoids together and landed on a theory.
The thing is….I also notice I really have no idea. The thought fades back, dissolves.
But I loved watching the mind do its “logical” thing. Receiving new information and running with it, like a football player intercepting a pass and dashing for the finish line down the field.
I suddenly had a picture in my head of an old friend of mine I used to call a hypochondriac. He was freaked out about every symptom that appeared in his body.
If he heard that his dad had arthritis, he would have made an appointment for a full round of testing on himself for arthritis, just in case he might develop it too. He seemed to love going to doctors. He’d get second and third opinions about the same condition.
I always wanted to say “Give it a rest! Jeezus! Relax!”
I wanted to get away from him when he started off on one of his I-might-get-cancer rants.
How did I react when I thought he should quit thinking about his symptoms, quit getting anxious about every little tiny thing, stop obsessing about living a long life?
I was completely and totally irritated with him.
I was stressed.
He complained, wondered about what disease he might encounter, and I complained and wanted him to quit.
And I thought I was so calm and serene in the face of physical pain and illness! I was such a winner in that department! I had such an easy time of it, a strong body, a high pain threshold, better things to think about!
He should stop being like himself, and be like me.
Ha ha! What an egomaniac!
Who would I be without the belief that he should stop worrying so much about his physicality, that he should let go of his agonizing about disease, death, pain or dying?
Who would I be if I allowed him to simply be himself, the Worry Wart of the century?
Huh.
As I sit with this….I notice….his research or thoughts about illness float into one corner of my awareness. It’s like there’s a little storm over there, but I feel much larger than that storm, in a good way.
I notice I feel great love and compassion for my old friend and his fears about cancer, aging, decay, or death.
I also notice I don’t have conversations about symptoms and diseases with him almost ever, anymore. And I love doing a little research on events that appear in my own body, now. I love hearing from my mom on what things feel like in her interesting body that’s almost 80 years old, without fear or worry.
A joyful fascination with what is, all that humanity knows about cures or not-cures, what seems beyond the mind, operating in its own movement.
“See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather. To complain is always nonacceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible; leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
I love the alive present action of this present moment. I pick up the phone and make an appointment to consult with a doctor. I have a wonderful talk with friends about their bodies. I notice it’s fascinating to talk about symptoms, about what happened, what it felt like, what might happen next.
There is no need to start complaining about Those Kinds of Doctors, or Those People who flip over every physical symptom.
I marvel at the strangeness. I notice some conditions I think would be very, very difficult to handle…and I wonder if that’s actually true.
I notice I don’t appear to need to handle them today.
“The middle path is the way to wisdom.” ~ Rumi