I Am Willing, I Look Forward To That Dreadful Thing

When I was in my small group spiritual sangha in California not long ago, we were all laughing around the dinner table one night.

One of my wonderful friends in our group told us about Grumpy Cat.

Who at this table has heard of Grumpy Cat?

No one.

He got his phone and looked up Grumpy Cat photos. We were all laughing uproariously at photos of Grumpy Cat with little slogans written across them.

Grumpy Cat doesn’t mince words. He’s not getting fooled. Grumpy Cat is street wise, no-nonsense, straight up. He’ll say whatever he damn well pleases, he does not think he needs to be polite to keep you happy.

For some reason….I just about fell over, unable to stop laughing, at one particular message from Grumpy Cat:

Whatever doesn’t kill you….

….will hopefully try again.

Everyone else was pretty much done laughing, but I would think of it and start cracking up again.

Something about it summarizes the Turnaround to Number Six, as it’s called in those of us who do The Work.

Number Six refers to the place in your mind, and on your worksheet, where you write down what you firmly believe you never, ever want to experience again in this lifetime. A circumstance, a situation that was devastating perhaps. Something crushing. Something frightening.

And then you turn that around, and try it on, even if you gasp at how weird or strange it feels.

This is what it looks like (its different from the other regular turnarounds in The Work).

For example: I don’t ever want to get cancer again, ever ever ever.

The first turnaround to this concept is ‘I am willing to get cancer again’.

What if that was OK with you? I notice cancer doesn’t exactly ask our permission. Could there be anything at all interesting about being willing to get cancer again?

I know for me, it’s a huge relief. It’s almost funny. The war against cancer is basically completely over, in that sentence. And it feels good. Not so frightening.

It’s not about resignation or pretending, but I can put away the positive affirmations list, or the efforts to make sure it never comes back. Those can get pretty crazy stressful.

Then, the final step, the second turnaround to this kind of concept: ‘I look forward to getting cancer again’. 

OMG! How could that be true? NEVER!

Just think about it though. What if you had the attitude of welcoming in everything, including this thing called cancer. What if you started watching for examples of what it brought you, that you could use more of?

Mine brought me love, tenderness from other people, incredible kindness, not worrying about piddly minor details of life, very alive in the present, a love for my mom, sisters, kids, former husband, friends, the air, the sky, my living room, my blue silky pajamas.

I realized how much I loved this world (after spending a lot of time hating it, quite honestly) and wanted to keep going in that direction.

That’s why that saying by Grumpy Cat is so freakin’ funny: what doesn’t kill you will hopefully try again.

OK then. That’s a life to laugh in, not a terrified one. Bring it on…what do I know? Not much.

Thanks, Grumpy Cat.

When I returned home, I asked my 17 year old daughter (one of my primary spiritual teachers) if she had heard of Grumpy Cat?

She looked at me like I came from another planet.

“That’s so 2007, mom. Gawd how stupid.” 

I am willing to be seen as a complete moron by my teenager. I look forward to being seen as a complete moron by my teenager.

Much love,

Grace