The past two days were so oddly different.
One felt light, curious, in motion, alive. One felt dull, heavy, thick and lethargic.
The light one was better.
Ha ha.
But I really did notice that I had a long list of things to accomplish on the lethargic day…I was alone, I chattered away to myself internally about paying attention to the calendar and the time and the banking statement and items I don’t generally keep track of.
People bring this type of concern up a lot in their inquiry process, doing The Work.
I should get these things done (show list, whether in head or actually written down).
Last night, someone in Summer Camp mentioned this urgency to not waste time, get stuff done, and how troubling and mean it could feel.
Give me that other day!
The one where I got to sit with Cheri Huber and other like-minded investigators, and then go dance at a big inspiring 60th birthday all evening for a dear friend.
I want THAT kind of day. Not Monday with chores and plans and drudgery. So depressing.
Oh. Right. Inquiry.
Sigh.
That other kind of day is better. Is that actually true?
Hmmm. I thought I would have answered yes immediately. But actually, I’m quite sure it’s not true. How the heck would I know?
The Voice which says something is better or worse is not exactly right all the time, or trustworthy.
It’s always putting in it’s vote, you know? But I have the sneaking suspicion it doesn’t get one.
With the belief that some days are GOOD and some days are BAD and that’s the entire truth, I get stuck. I’m clamoring for good days. I’m avoiding bad days.
When I say “this one is bad” I’m grumpy. I’m irritated.
But what or who would I be if I couldn’t conceive of this idea? If I landed here on planet earth and didn’t really KNOW what was “good” or “bad” about the happenings of day-to-day life?
I’d notice something steady within that cares nothing for what goes on. That sees how everything is like a wave, blooming out, then dying and receding back. Up, down, coming, going, busy, still.
“It is the mind that is dull or restless, not you. Look, all kinds of things happen in this room. Do I cause them to happen? They just happen. So it is with you–the roll of destiny unfolds itself and actualizes the inevitable. You cannot change the course of events, but you can change your attitude and what really matters is the attitude and not the bare event….For peace, you must go beyond the world.” ~ Nisargadatta
Turning the thought around: there is no better or worse day.
But. Wait. Isn’t that celebration day, wedding day, accomplishment day, hilarious laughing day, happy day, dancing day BETTER than the sick, tired, in-bed, lonesome, divorced, hospitalized, abandoned, worried day?
I mean…DUH.
Well…in this world, of course. It doesn’t mean you’re a ding-dong and have no idea what’s going on!
But noticing the goodness, the incredible opportunity, the achievement, the surrender, the change, the awareness, the phoenix that rises out of the bad days….now that is a different story.
An unusual story. A story of inspiration and love and astonishment.
“My experience is that God is everything. That’s the direct route. People who have that don’t need this Work. God is everything….What does it take? This now!” ~ Byron Katie
Wow. I have no idea what kind of day this was, now that I stopped thinking about it.
Pause. Pretty amazing.
Love, Grace
P.S. If you’re noticing thoughts about Money that appear to be “bad”, or about Sexuality that appear “bad” we start next week with classes in both. Money Mondays, Wonderful Sexuality Wednesdays. Both classes start at 9 am Pacific. CLICK HERE to find info on either one and to register.