This past weekend I had a few stressful beliefs about Money. It made me very happy to know I am about to embark on the 8 week journey of investigation of beliefs about money, work, earning, spending with everyone who is participating.
There I was standing in a big store, looking at barbecues, thinking of buying one for my husband for our anniversary. There were small ones, medium sized ones, various brands, huge ones.
In many places there were signs that said “SALE!!”
Now, normally, I am not a big gift-giving person…not with material items, things, stuff you can hold in your hand.
It’s not that I don’t like buying and giving gifts…it just doesn’t occur to me. I know that’s very weird to hear for those of you who do like giving gifts.
I suppose I am more of a person who gives experiences and receives these as well, than actual “items”. I like very clean surfaces, smaller spaces, small amounts of stuff.
Lots of people are amazing at listening to what people want or desire, and selecting the perfect items.
I have to have something repeatedly mentioned….like my husband and I both noticing that it might be nice to BBQ food over the past five years….before I catch on.
Oh, I could actually acquire this thing, by going to a store and buying it.
I am not a cook, either. So I had no idea how much BBQs cost or that there were fifty thousand types and brands.
It was a little overwhelming. I started thinking it wasn’t a good idea after all.
Funny, my mind went from excitement about actually getting someone I care about a gift, to having the feeling “nevermind” after hunting for it.
Then I had another more unexpected expense arise, I did some banking online, and I thought even more….NEVERMIND.
- We’ve gotten along without a BBQ for many years, why bother now?
- I won’t use it enough, and I already have a stove in the house
- I’ll have to clean it
- there are other things to spend money on that will be more satisfying
- I need to save when I can
- I have no idea what my income will be next month, how many people in classes or individual sessions
- better be careful
- don’t ever want to regret purchasing something or be in that barely-making-it position again!
- don’t buy anything unless it’s an absolute necessity! Run for your life out of the store! I hate shopping!!!
Later on, I was at home again. With no gift. And worried about my finances. On a Sunday evening.
Uh oh. Time to do The Work.
Time for a little mind surgery.
I sat down and wrote out my feelings, my thoughts, my perspective, from the most petty, childish, worried, innocent little point of view.
I used my computer, I wrote like a crazed person, many paragraphs, letting it spill out.
Then I had it all in text, and I could begin….
An hour later, after sitting quietly with myself and listening to my own mind, I felt lighter, more sparkly, relieved, and laughing at myself.
I’ll share with you the thoughts I questioned in tomorrow’s Grace Note, since I’m “late” getting this one out today.
But the most important thing for now is knowing what a gift it can be to give yourself the time of investigating your really stressful thoughts about money, work, earning, income, outflow.
I questioned my thinking and my experience changed, right in the same day. The feeling in my body relaxed, my mind relaxed.
I felt amused.
Before The Work….anxious, annoyed, frowning, tired, thinking about dollars and accounts and debits and credits.
After The Work….eyes wide open, gentle with myself, grateful, laughing with my husband.
“If you want to accord with the Tao, just do your job, then let go.” ~ Tao Te Ching #24
Love, Grace
P.S. Two spaces left in the Money class which starts on Thursday.