Last week I somehow added some strength training (weight lifting) to my gym routine. I’ve thought about it from time to time but not done it.
It’s weird, because it genuinely did not feel like I decided. It just moved, very easily, in that direction, almost as if that was the thing to do next, at this time.
A friend of mine reminded me that she herself wanted to add in some kind of strength building to her physical fitness routine. She texted “Hey! We can support each other!”
So that may have added awareness to the field, but we haven’t been in communication since.
Now, these kinds of plans, goals, declarations and structures appear to be a part of the culture. There’s always something one can add.
Improve! Build! Raise the bar! Succeed! Take it to the Next Level! Break out of your comfort zone!
Lordy.
Nothing wrong with any of this if it’s fun and joyful.
But often, it’s a wee bit stressy. It appears to require a lot of effort to do these things, just to even hold the thoughts.
There’s a sense of getting swept up in the “I should, I have to, I need to, I want to…” focus on the future.
And the thought repeats itself, on a regular basis. Even when there may be no action taken.
Anxiety can come along just from THINKING about starting a new “program” that’s supposed to help.
Then if the mind observes no movement, it adds that to the mix of stress saying “what’s the problem here? get going! what’s wrong with you?”
I love really looking at “goals” or new programs related to health, education, creativity, career.
A lot of stress, disappointment and criticism forms within these realms.
People say things all the time like “I’m going to enroll in that training, I’m going to get that degree, I’m going to get in shape and lose weight, I’m going to finish my book, I’m going to pay off that debt, I’m going to get a new job, I’m going to get married or find a partner…”
Humans have fun (or feel hopeful), it seems, thinking about what it will be like later, when this activity is underway, or it’s completed and accomplished, and they will feel WONDERFUL.
Why, gosh…people even say this about spiritual enlightenment! I myself have made this kind of statement!
“I’m going to get enlightened. I’m going to do what it takes: meditate, go to retreats, study, find a teacher, go hear the enlightened speaker guy (or gal), pray, study all the scriptures, read the sutras….”
There it is. The imagined lovely picture of the future. When I am my ideal, more perfected version of this “me”!!
The whole thing is quite hilarious. I’m not sure when it happened…but I remember realizing that the thought “I want to become better” (enlightened, fit, relaxed, successful) is actually worthy of investigating in great depth.
Not just assuming it’s true.
It SEEMS like I need to become better. Better at leading, facilitating, working, keeping track of time, communicating…you can name your thing (and there may be many).
Often we will think (at least I did) that if I didn’t have the thought that I need to keep a fire lit under my feet, that I need to stay revved up, push, pedal-to-the-metal, rah rah GO….then I wouldn’t ever take action.
Without these thoughts of pushing and demand of myself…I might remain a total failure.
Yet for me, for some weird reason I dug out my dusty weight-lifting books, went to the gym, and started. I have no idea if I’ll keep it up.
It just seems like the inner voice is saying “yes” and there is no conflict. It was like “why not?”
This would definitely not fit into the category of “goal”. And it’s sweet and relaxing that way.
Without any big expectations.
I notice that when today is also fine, only doing what I really, truly wish to joyfully do, then those are the times I’ve actually wound up at the imagined goal ending.
Who would I be without the thought that “I should (the list)”?
Why not see for yourself?
We’ll often think it will be really bad, and we’ll never accomplish anything, if we don’t have the thought that we should do that thing to improve ourselves.
Many people will agree about what is “right” and “wrong”. Weight lifting = RIGHT. Lying on the couch all day = WRONG.
But what if you stop knowing or being so sure, or operating with goals, plans, structure that is made without ever questioning what is right for you?
“You have a decision to make, and your mind wants to know what the right decision is. But you realize that that isn’t a relevant concern anymore because your framework for decision making has been conditioned. A “right decision” according to whom? One person’s “right” is another person’s “wrong.” If you’re not going to make decisions based on right and wrong or should and shouldn’t–which only exist in thought–then how do you move?”~ Adyashanti
How amazing to explore the dreams we think we have for the future and really ask if they are true for us?
Are you sure that feeling strong, feeling energetic, feeling love, feeling success, feeling abundant is going to happen later…in the future sometime…after you “work” on yourself some more?
If we never learned what was good to go for and bad to NOT go for…what would you do today? What would you notice, or enjoy?
What would be genuinely fun, interesting, kind, creative, successful, compassionate, enlightened…right in this moment?
Much Love, Grace
P.S. If you are interested in investigating everything you believe about money, your need for it, the way you get it, what’s wrong about this moment and right about a more successful moment in the future…then join the Earning Money teleclass starting July 11th.
When you question your thinking, you can change your life. Really!
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