Do you ever worry about being too far gone, being a nut that’s just too hard to crack, that you won’t ever REALLY get it, or you won’t get there?
Gosh, I never think thoughts like that! (Not).
The other day I was considering the idea of life with no effort again…the whole concept of relaxing, waiting, being, accepting.
Sometimes, I must confess, it amazes me that it could even be possible to have a “good” life with no effort…I mean, really?
Aren’t we supposed to set goals, work very hard, push, use force, make demands, stand up for ourselves, and at least try to rise to the top?
YEAH! GO TEAM! ARRRRRR! (That’s roaring like a lion, or shaking your spear at the sky).
It feels like I might somehow turn into jello, or live a wasted life, if there is no force used, no effort.
Sometimes people say about questioning stressful thoughts that the process of inquiry could be strangely passive.
If I start loving what is, I may not care about anything, I’ll float around like a willow wisp smiling at everything I see.
But after doing The Work for a few years, I realized that when I really questioned my thinking…I had more access to reality than ever, including the times when something called for energy, action, movement.
In fact, sometimes these days I have strong, loud, passionate words and I speak them.
I feel more real, more alive, more vigorous.
Like I have a wider range of access to feelings, not like I’m fighting them or judging them or deciding I need to look any different.
Acceptance doesn’t necessarily look like all sweetness and pink light.
Sometimes it looks like “I am hanging up now, and please do not contact me again”.
Sometimes acceptance looks like a person packing their bags and moving out, saying “no”, taking someone to the mental health emergency clinic, changing the airplane reservation.
Sometimes acceptance looks like “you cut me off, you told that lie, you hit me…so I am staying away from you so we both feel more peaceful and not so triggered.”
It is so much fun to be what you are, in this moment. Without trying to be spiritual or special or lovable.
One of my teachers, Stephen Bodian, told this zen story recently:
A student asked the master “it’s really hot in the monastery in the summer time, and in the winter it’s really cold…how do you DEAL with that?”
The master replied “go to a place where there is no cold and no hot.”
The student said “huh?” (I think it was more eloquent, but this is the Grace Bell regular dude version).
The master said something like “well…when you are extremely hot, be totally, agonizingly, completely brutally hot. And when you are extremely cold, be shivering, tight, bone-chilling cold…..you will simply move to take care of what you need to take care of, without arguing with reality. You will be in a place where there is no cold and no hot.”
If I just move towards what I move towards, then I am in the flow. I feel cold, I go get a blanket or I decide to leave that place, or I realize I’m actually fine and it’s no biggie.
I’m not all full of endless complaints about the temperature. I get it. It’s very efficient. I don’t start thinking about what should or shouldn’t be happening and plug into that for hours, days and weeks.
Loving what is has turned out to not be passive at all….it becomes more and more active the more I inquire.
And yet, no effort. At least a lot of the time. I forget and start moving into effort and force, when I think there’s no other way. When I get a little freaked out or scared.
And then I remember, let go. Open my hand up that is pushing with a tight closed fist and the mind that is thinking incessantly about all the ways it could “make” or force something to happen.
Today, how about letting things handle themselves? Who would I be without the thought that I need to deal, complain, make a better effort, or push?
I’d be oh so excited! Nothing to worry about! An observer, a watcher, in a really good, contented way. Not missing out.
Ready to play in this beautiful world! Here to breathe, be alive apparently (for now), and have fun.
“Wise men don’t need to prove their point; men who need to prove their point aren’t wise…… The Tao nourishes by not forcing. By not dominating, the Master leads.”~Tao Te Ching #81
If you find you could use some support around inquiry and Not Making An Effort when it comes to food, money or sex….then check out these three classes on these topics starting this summer. We inquire, question, investigate, and then sit back to see what happens. In my experience, it’s always good.
Much love, Grace