Many of us have heard of the phrase to take or avoid the path of least resistance. I think my father used it when I was quite young, reading it out of a book. He seemed thoughtful about it, and that it was good news.
It sounds easy. It sounds comfortable.
But some people think it’s a dangerous way to live.
H.G. Wells said “the path of least resistance is the path of the loser!”
Henry David Thoreau said “the path of least resistance leads to crooked roads and crooked men.”
GOSH! Those lazy, crooked, lying, LOSERS! I better go for the path with the MOST resistance, to be on the safe side. If it’s too easy, it could be bad news!
The other day I worked with a client on her young adult son who is expressing new defiance towards her in his life.
Often, people will say “if I do The Work, if I question all my beliefs…I’ll just accept and love everything and lie down on the floor like a bump and express nothing, do nothing, offer nothing, resist nothing.”
Truly allowing what is? NEVER! I need to resist, I need to push, I need to force, I need to BAM-POW-WHAM like Batman!
In physics, the path of least resistance is a natural phenomena. It’s the law, actually. Water always takes this path. All objects take the easiest path when they move through a system.
I love the martial arts directive “mind like water”. It’s written on my car steering wheel.
I notice thoughts appear. Thoughts within us rise. Here they are. You can’t stop them. They have energy. You can’t stop “thinking”.
I figure The Work, or the capacity to slow down and be with something and not know precisely and with hell-bent opinion that it’s true, is like the hill, the landscape, the way of it.
Yes, the thinking starts to run in grooves when you repeat them over and over and over again, starting at a very early age perhaps. The grooves, when unquestioned, can become as big as the Grand Canyon.
At the bottom of the Grand Canyon, you might have thoughts like:
- it will take years to get out of here
- I made a mistake
- this sucks
- this is hopeless, boring, frustrating, agonizing
- I should have been questioning my thinking before this, then I wouldn’t be HERE
- I should have resisted more
- I didn’t resist, and now I’m a loser
Is this actually true? Can you know there is no next step, nothing now, and now, and change, and now?
Can we know that if we don’t resist something or someone, like our defiant son, that he will be lost, ruined, at the bottom of the canyon too?
Can we really know that the path of MOST resistance is the best path, the winner path, the successful path?
The mind loves to warn you about the bad stuff and bad people that could start appearing, have you noticed?
Who would you be without the thought that right now, in this moment, it will take years to get out of here, to change, that you made a mistake, that this sucks and is frustrating, that you should have gotten this earlier, you should have been more resistant, that you shouldn’t be here now?
Free. Excited. Joyful!
I might even do a little dance, I might jump for joy, I might feel like running up a hill! I might notice something new. I might have a wild, creative idea.
I might hug that defiant child of mine and tell him how amazing he is! I might ask him for more of his opinions, to tell me EVERYTHING he’s thinking about me.
Without resistance.
You might scan the landscape of your life with new eyes:
- it will take less than a second to get out of here, it will certainly not take years
- I did not make a mistake
- this is exciting, awesome, fun, fascinating, an interesting predicament
- I am here at just the right moment, just the right time
- I should have resisted less
- I didn’t resist, and now I’m a winner
“Whoever relies on the Tao in governing men doesn’t try to force issues or defeat enemies by force of arms. For every force there is a counterforce. Violence, even well intentioned, always rebounds upon oneself. The Master does his job and then stops. He understands that the universe is forever out of control, and that trying to dominate events goes against the current of the Tao. Because he believes in himself, he doesn’t try to convince others. Because he is content with himself, he doesn’t need others’ approval. Because he accepts himself, the whole world accepts him.”~ Tao Te Ching # 30
Feeling the need to force myself, to resist something, to resist someone else, I notice I am not believing in myself. I am not believing in the other.
I do not lie down, in my acceptance, for that would not really be fun, or easy.
I notice the path of least resistance is relaxing, waiting, sweet, non-violent, open, courageous, willing, peaceful. I notice the path of least resistance is full of love, like a little kid running towards its mom or dad.
I notice the path of least resistance accepts that the universe is out of control….like thinking.
Love, Grace
P.S. Last call, a spot left for Friday’s teleclass Horrible Food Wonderful Food, Noon – 1:30 Pacific time. Click below to register or send email with questions to grace@workwithgrace.com.
My Relationship With Food Changed After Your Class
“Dear Grace, I wanted to tell you that after I took your class for two months, I have never had the same difficult relationship with food again. That is a miracle. It’s been six months now, and I still can hardly believe it. I am simply not worried any more about my food, and this changed everything. I recommend it to anyone I know with eating troubles.”~EK Horrible Food Wonderful Food class participant
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