Every single time I start a new teleclass group, I learn new things. Last Friday a fabulous and passionate group gathered to investigate their pain around their relationship with eating food.
Tonight a brave and transparent group gathered to look at sexuality and memories that brought shame, disgust, sadness and the desire for peace.
I am surrounded by such sincere inquiring minds. I am un-doing my own stressful assumptions….and wanting to help everyone follow along with this work, especially the new folks.
I notice thoughts move through my mind, like “I hope this is awesome, I hope people get a lot out of it, I want them to learn, I want them to be filled with awareness, joy, to have AH-HA moments, to get free!”
This prickly sense of anticipation, or looking with these kinds of thoughts to the future, can be VERY fascinating to investigate.
I have these kinds of thoughts with ANY group, meeting, party, gathering, lecture or event that I am hosting, offering, planning or running. Yes, I confess that it’s true.
What I am putting on has to be AWESOMELY GOOD! Please oh please oh please! I want them to like it! To like me! Ack, not that again…
Do they really need to like me? I’ve investigated and discovered they absolutely don’t need to at all. They might even be very annoyed….it really is OK.
But diving deeper into this idea that any workshop or program or class or retreat must be GOOD. What is that? Why? I have had the very same thought myself about things I have signed up for, participated in.
Is it actually absolutely true that if I venture out into the world in some way, go on a journey, that I must learn something, get something, have an ah-ha light bulb go off?
I discover, as I consider this, how often I have thought of myself as truly needing something when I attend a workshop, class, or program. I need the information. Something inside me is missing. I need something more.
I am confused, anxious, bored, seeking. Maybe even broken.
That’s why I’m going to the therapist, for crying out loud! That’s why I’m going to the retreat, the workshop, the meeting, the healer, or the wise teacher.
Otherwise, why would I go!?!
THERE’S A PROBLEM OVER HERE! Something is wrong.
Is that true? Is it absolutely true that something is wrong?
Yes. Here’s the list of what’s wrong. See? Surely you agree with me.
How do I react when I think the thought that there is a purpose, a solution, a meaning, an importance, a need, and answer being fulfilled by any workshop, retreat or class offered?
I chase after every workshop that I think will resolve my “problem” that I can find. I can’t stop. I keep seeking. My motto is “find out what is wrong and then fix it”. I have an expected outcome…..ENLIGHTENMENT! I get disappointed if it’s not quite right, not quite the result I was looking for.
Who would I be without the thought that I have a problem? That I need to find a solution? That anyone else needs to find a solution? That there is an ANSWER? That enlightenment is around the next bend?
The wonderful thing about drilling down into the core of my beliefs about all that needs to be fixed, is that everything becomes more and more mysterious, and unresolvable, and open, and wild and free.
As I un-ravel and un-do my own system of thinking that creates stress and worry, doubt, anger or frustration…I know less.
I’m in kindergarten. Preschool.
“All the greatest and most important problems of life are fundamentally insoluble…They can never be solved, but only outgrown. This “outgrowth” proved on further investigation to require a new level of consciousness. Some higher or wider interest appeared on the patient’s horizon, and through this broadening of his or her outlook the insoluble problem lost its urgency. It was not solved logically in its own terms but faded when confronted with a new and stronger life urge.”~Carl Jung
I turn the thought around: I do NOT need to solve anything, I do not need to find a solution, I do not need to find the answer, I do not need to become enlightened.
What are genuine, authentic, real, believable examples for me that this could be as true, or truer, than my original stressful thought?
I feel much lighter without the thought that I need to do something, be something, find something different. I feel excited. Creative! Imaginative! Not critical, not bitter. Not wanting to avoid this and grab that.
My mind can relax. Something here continues to move and be and grow, no matter what. I don’t have to add anything or do anything myself.
Life is living itself, right here (without my assistance, it turns out).
“Do you want to improve the world? I don’t think it can be done. The world is sacred. It can’t be improved. If you tamper with it, you’ll ruin it. If you treat it like an object, you’ll lose it. There is a time for being ahead, a time for being behind; a time for being in motion, a time for being at rest; a time for being vigorous, a time for being exhausted; a time for being safe, a time for being in danger. The Master sees things as they are, without trying to control them. She lets them go their own way, and resides at the center of the circle.”~Tao Te Ching #29
Love, Grace
P.S. One spot left for the Our Wonderful Sexuality class that just started this evening. You can catch up by listening to the recording. Class will be closed after session two. There is one man in our class, would be fun with another one! Come join us!
Click here to register for any of these classes online. You can also send an email to grace@workwithgrace.com if you’d prefer to mail a check or want to ask questions.
- Our Wonderful Sexuality: Untangling the Passion, Attraction, Love, Past Terrors, Future Worries, Fear, Confusion, Tenderness, and Joyful Intimacy. Tuesdays, January 22 – March 12, 2013, 6:30 – 8:00 pm Pacific time. 8 weeks $395.
- Earning Money: What’s Your Problem? Questioning Your Beliefs About Money, Work and Business. Mondays, February 4-April 1, 2013, 7:30 – 9:00 am Pacific time. 8 weeks $395. No class March 4th.
- Horrible Food Wonderful Food: Healing the Love/Hate Relationship with Eating, Food, and Our Bodies. Fridays, January 18 – March 15, 2013 Noon – 1:30 pm Pacific time. 8 weeks. No class 2/22.
- Turning Relationship Hell To Heaven: Working With Painful Hate, Anger, Fury, Despair, Grief, or Disappointment With Someone You Know; Spouse, Mother, Sibling, Father, Daughter, Son, Boss, Neighbor, Friend. Fridays, March 29-May 17, 2013 8:00 am – 9:30 am Pacific time. 8 weeks $395.
In Person workshops:
Mark your calendar for Breitenbush, the end of June 2013! We will be looking at all aspects of what we consider to be flaws in the body, and Un-doing our beliefs about them. Stay tuned if you’d like to join me and Susan Grace Beekman from June 26-30, 2013. You can change your internal beliefs about what you think bodies should be like….and change your entire experience of being in yours.