Tag: Summer Camp

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Have you had the thought “they hate me!”?

I am loving the fabulous collective of people starting today the journey of the next six weeks doing The Work together on stressful thinking during Summer Camp For The Mind Immersion.

People have shared with me they are working on a relationship ending, racism, compulsive eating, lack of work, worry about the future, feeling rejected.

Oooh, rejection.

Have you ever thought “they hate me!”?

They hate me, this is dangerous, I’m afraid, I need to get away from them, I don’t understand them, they are accusing me, they should accept me instead of reject me.

An inquirer shared she had this thought about far more than only one person in her life.

It seemed to be a theme, a top hit.

I’ve had this thought that someone hates me when they go silent (perhaps especially when they do).

Often in my family of origin, instead of screaming, there was ghosting and cut-off. It seemed the better choice of the two (so much shame in screaming and “losing it”).

But what if no matter how people are reacting, even if they say “I HATE YOU!”….

….we could still question that story?

For the next Peace Talk Podcast Episode, that’s exactly what this inquirer questioned: the belief she was hated in a very specific moment when she received a look of hatred.

Maybe the one looking did not approve, and DID hate….and we can still totally question what we believe that apparent hatred means for us, for them, for the world.

Watch on youtube here, or listen on apple podcasts below.

Apple Podcasts: click HERE.
Or listen on the podcast website HERE.
If you know you could use a little tune up (or a big one) over the next six weeks ahead….and maybe find some creativity and lightness with The Work….then join the great group for summer camp (click the photo).
It’s kinda last minute, but you’re welcome anyway.
Come on board the peace train.

Much love,

Grace

 

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When our work is the suffering of death….especially a beloved’s suicide

When someone we care about dies, there is perhaps nothing so intense.

(I know this isn’t always true).

And yet, as I work with people and within myself, I see the deepest grief, dread of life without them, panic, abandonment, fear and longing all come to the surface when someone close dies.

When the death is by what we call suicide, a choice to move into that death experience deliberately….

….it can bring some unique thoughts.

We believe they should have stayed, should have chosen otherwise, shouldn’t be gone–not this way.

We even imagine other options for death (at least I did) that might have been “easier” somehow.

Strange the mind is.

“It would have been easier if he had died in a car accident”. 

I had this thought about a friend I loved dying by suicide.

That way would have been better for his children, wife, extended family, community, himself.

Can we absolutely, solidly, positively without any doubt know that our thoughts are true?

One thing I can know is true is the courage and grace I witness when someone does The Work of Byron Katie on the death of a loved one.

When the death is by suicide, it is profound.

To be with the voices that scream “shouldn’t, shouldn’t, shouldn’t, no, no, no, not this way, no” takes such immense courage and listening as we sit with the four questions.

The story of death seems bleak, terrifying, unknown, filled with loss, disappointing, maybe even horrifying.

I’ve had the thought “I can’t go on”. 

I’ve had the thought “THEY can’t go on” about or for other people who have experienced death of loved ones by suicide (and other death).

Heart-breaking. 

In the work, we ask this amazing question four:

Who would we be without our beliefs about death; death by suicide, death by other means….death?

Right now, who would we be without our ideas, dreams, imaginings, anticipation, expectations of death?

Who would we be without the story of loss as we remember holding that person in our arms who has since died?

Join me to sit in the beautiful inquiry of a woman new to The Work who had someone she cared about deeply die by suicide.

May this inquiry serve you and all those suffering from unexpected death.

For those who would appreciate the healing of group inquiry over six weeks starting this coming Monday July 20th….this is the one “six week retreat” we do online together.

We call it summer camp, and it’s all virtual using zoom.

You can share, listen-only, soak it in, participate by speaking and doing The Work, or share in writing in our private forum.

You come and go as you need to, and choose the days you’ll attend (you can mark your calendar).

We gather for daily inquiry of 60-75 mins for the whole time (except weekends). Mondays we meet at 9am PT, Tuesdays 5pm PT, Wednesdays at Noon PT, Thursdays 3pm PT, and Fridays at 8am PT.

Read more about camp and sign up here. Pay from the heart contribution of sliding scale or based on what you’ll attend or listen to. (Everything’s recorded).

Much love,

Grace

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Can this be love? (+ summer camp opening day recording link for you)

Summer Camp for The Mind starts on Monday, July 9th. Anyone who joins and decides at the end of the summer to continue on into Year of Inquiry will receive a credit of their Summer Camp contribution towards YOI. Pay what you can for Summer Camp. Nothing is required. CLICK the image to join us.

I’m so touched by the online mini-retreat just shared by many this morning. It was magical and heart-breaking.

To get the link of the recording and listen-in, visit this Summer Camp information page HERE. Scroll down to the Opening Day recording link.

I was so moved by the beautiful, genuine inquiry and sharing people brought–from the people who spoke, but also from those who commented in the chat and shared their thoughts and questions.

Those who listen are also a significant part of this inquiry. The energy is alive and somehow palpable, like when a whole hall of people sit in meditative silence together.

Words are not required.

The inquiries brought to the call today were such beautiful examples of human awareness of change, loss, agony, feeling left or criticized….and working with these hurt feelings, opening up to understanding our pain and suffering.

Oddly, we’re not trying to get to any special place, or find that one missing answer, or figure out exactly what to do about this predicament….we’re bringing clear awareness to the story we’re telling ourselves. We’re not looking for advice.

We’re looking at the pain through the mind, the one that “thinks”, that sees pictures and images of loss or fear or anger or disappointment and never-ending unhappiness.

Strange, but it’s as if the inquiries brought to the Opening Day First Friday mini-retreat were perfectly placed, in just the right order, for opening up the story of separation.

I could relate to each and every story. I’ve done The Work on all three. All so painful. All incredibly powerful moments to question.

First, someone shared about a moment with someone close where the relationship was uncertainly defined. Are we friends or more than friends? Where is this going? I wanted something more. This is disappointing. I feel so hurt.

Next, a longer-term partnership (marriage) potentially moving into divorce. One person is moving out into another place to live. We feel crushed. He’s constantly criticizing me. He focuses on my flaws. I need him to say loving, kind things to me and notice what’s wonderful about me.

Finally, a family member has died tragically from cancer. So many people suffering, missing him. I want him to live. He shouldn’t die.

What is this suffering we’re experiencing in these situations? Does it mean, if I don’t suffer, that I won’t care about this person, or recall them? I won’t be close, or love? I won’t cry?

For me, this never turned out to be true.

In fact, as I’ve done The Work and even do The Work today with all these beautiful inquirers on the call, I find that without my thought that I should be with this person, or they should be alive….

….I stop resisting my thoughts of them. I talk to them, even out loud.

I might even listen to them when I ask “Why are you leaving? Why did you go? Do you know how much I love you?” 

I hear their answers, with inquiry, even in my own head. I feel it all. I’m not holding back anymore.

NOT suffering does not mean my heart isn’t breaking and swelling into a million pieces. NOT suffering doesn’t mean being numb, or disconnected, or never thinking of them. NOT suffering doesn’t mean pretending things are OK when they actually aren’t, or trying to be a different person with a different reaction.

For me, what I find NOT Suffering actually looks like is being more connected with these people I adore than ever. At least that’s what I keep finding with The Work.

Instead of repeating the exact same painful thoughts about what’s happening with that person over and over again, I’m sitting with the difficult thought and looking at it from every possible angle.

I’m realizing, by doing this Q and A with my story, that I actually can’t confirm or deny that love is not present in this relationship, in this situation.

Most recently, in fact, when my former husband died, I felt the most strong, big, wide love for him I’ve felt in a long time.

I’ve reflected (and still am reflecting) on some of the unfinished wonderings not taken to the deepest inquiry yet about our parting, and separation, and divorce, and continued connection and friendship and co-parenting and deep support for one another through all these 31 years since we met.

These moments of having the heart pierced with grief and love (they are both there) can only happen with people who are significant and important to us.

“Your story is your identity, and you’d do almost anything to prove that it’s true. Inquiry into self is the only thing that has the power to penetrate such ancient concepts….When I learned to meet my thinking as a friend, I noticed that I could meet every human as a friend. The end of the war with myself and my thinking is the end of the war with you.” ~ Byron Katie in Loving What Is pg. 294

Someone asked today on the call how long registration is open for Summer Camp and I responded…Oh wow, I don’t know. LOL.

You can really join any time, and my thought is, you’ll probably enjoy more time, attention, practice and care for yourself and your thinking if you come on board sooner than later. Plus you’ll get to participate in our Pop-Up private summer camp forum for a greater amount of time. I’d suggest joining this weekend sometime.

But does longer mean better? Do you really have to attend all seven weeks to get the best results? Does more minutes in inquiry add up to more clarity in the mind? Is it better to spend more time in a marriage? Is it better to be partnered than not? Is more life better than less life? Is it better to live until age 95 than 35?

I can’t absolutely know that it’s true.

Maybe one profoundly powerful inquiry can open us to unknown worlds we never thought possible. Maybe asking ourselves “is that really true?” just once about a thought that something shouldn’t happen….can end our suffering and angst about life.

What I notice is that life is passionately, profoundly on the move in the form of people coming, and then going. When there is this experience called loss, or disappointment, or sadness, or rage about people coming or going, perhaps it is not as terrible as I am thinking and believing is it.

I notice I am filled with a startling sense of feeling when these incidents happen. I’m brought to my knees in the present moment. Tears flow. Heart breaks open. Is it not the ordinary. It brings me to The Work.

Could this be true love?

Much love,

Grace

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Feel summer on the inside, with inquiry (+ Summer Camp for The Mind starts July 6th)

It’s that time of year where I live where the days are long, there’s a looseness in some daily activities, the schedule is changed, some travel takes place, we’re outside.

During this season where I live, and all the time I grew up, kids went to Summer Camp. No regular school.

Summer holidays are often a time of travel, rest, cleaning-out, home projects, classes, art, learning fun things, lazy days swimming in the lake, gardening, a change-of-pace, a summer job.

Right now when I write, I’m sitting by an open window smelling fresh air after a morning summer rain, and the sun has been up for hours already.

My favorite thing of all about summer is feeling the sweetness of summer on the inside: rest, relaxation, calm, enough time, growth, quiet, an inner change-of-pace.

This inner quiet couldn’t happen without self-inquiry as a practice.

How so, you might ask?

Well for me, to question a troubling worry, or an angry or frightened thought about life, has to come before I open up to peace, in general. Inquiry offers insight in the most soft, sweet, kind way I’ve ever experienced.

When I was filled with anxiety, or anger (even rage) or sharp opinions I knew were RIGHT, I sought peace and had a lot of advice given to me over the years. I read tons of books (many of which were brilliant and helpful). I took classes and programs. I went on retreats and had loads of psychotherapy.

I tried to think “positive”.

I set up my daily life schedule to be productive and NOT upset and I focused on the advice and support I heard.

(Not that there’s anything wrong with that–people have some amazing and good ideas about how to live, right?)

But when I used my own mind to inquire, wonder, consider, contemplate and meditate….hunting for no one’s answers but my own….that’s when my inner world started to truly shift.

To be honest, I didn’t like finding my own answers that much at first.

Can’t someone just tell me how to live well, what works and what doesn’t, how to be successful, how I should think….

….so that I have some peace for crying out loud?

I know. I’ll just copy someone. Like Byron Katie. Or Jesus. Or the Buddha. Or Gandhi. Or Adya. (And many, many more people who I encountered).

But.

It just never worked at a deeper, permanent level. Not ever.

Yes, I love the wisdom I gather from sacred texts, silence and the wise words of others. But the powerful, juicy, vital and deepest insights come from this mind actually identifying and questioning beliefs when it becomes confused or upset, and then continuing to connect, watch and be open to the world and reality.

Which is how summer got paired with The Work to form this fun program called Summer Camp for The Mind.

You stay where you are physically (your body doesn’t need to go anywhere) and you dial-in to share with others in The Work.

There’s no homework, no lessons or classes or requirements….which is like camp, right?

Summer Camp is simply people gathered together to bring some dilemma or problem to inquiry. Live. There’s a meeting every day, from Monday through Friday. And every single meeting is optional. Every day has it’s own special meeting time.

If you’ve been trying to keep a daily practice of The Work, or do it just a little more often since it can bring such interesting personal insights….then this may be a perfect way to try inquiry more regularly.

Here’s how Summer Camp for The Mind works:

  • Everyone joins live or watches the replay of Opening Day (July 6th).
  • Everyone gets the same dial-in number for all calls for the summer.
  • Everyone marks their calendar for the daily time-slots when we meet on the days you can attend.
  • You bring your one-liner (a stressful concept) or your Judge Your Neighbor worksheet on anything that’s bothered you if you want. 
  • You can listen-only and simply be there with us all in inquiry, if you want.
  • No one has to speak out loud, but there’s time for feedback, questions and sharing after every single inquiry
And guess what?

It’s sliding scale pay-what-you-can to join (recommended $150 – $500 for the program). You could calculate about $30 per session you’ll plan to attend if you wanted to cover all costs for the program.

There are many costs to run summer camp, and time and study put into it….and having said that, this is summer camp. It’s loose. Time for me to give, personally, and do my own work, honestly.

It’s also a time for people who have been curious but unable or too shy to come to any other more substantive program during the year to hop in and see if it works for you.

You can decide what works in your schedule and budget and what doesn’t. It’s a time when people can join who need the financial support of pay-what-you-can if you’ve been reading Grace Notes and want to go deeper.

You don’t have to be smart, or know The Work, or “get” the full process of inquiry, or know what you’re doing.

You can be a complete beginner.

We always have so much fun. A great group gathers. People from all over the world connect, and we just “go” and see where the inquiry takes us. Sometimes people find facilitation partners they adore and continue with in inquiry beyond Summer Camp.

Everyone joining Summer Camp can bring whatever ails them. People have so many kinds of problems and concerns that can be addressed with this powerful inquiry work: relationships, money, career, friendships, family of origin (FOO), love, decision-making, parenting, addictive patterns, worries, betrayals, fear, job changes, divorce, marriage, dating, moving homes, physical pain, sickness, loss.

Everything is welcome at Summer Camp. 

Wondering what the actual schedule is? All calls are 90 minutes and listed here in Pacific Time first.

Summer Camp runs July 6th – August 17th, 2018. The very first day, Friday July 6th, will be 2 hours long and open to absolutely anyone for free. 

 

For Opening Day of Summer Camp, click HERE to join on July 6th.

Then, for the rest of the Summer Camp, we’ll meet like this:

  • Mondays Noon-1:30 pm PT/ 3-4:30 ET/ 9:00-10:30 pm Europe
  • Tuesdays 8-9:30 am PT/ 11-12:30 ET/ 5-6:30 pm Europe
  • Wednesdays 2-3:30 pm PT/ 5-6:30 pm ET/ 10-11:30 pm London
  • Thursdays 4-5:30 pm PT/ 7-8:30 pm ET/ 7-8:30 am Australia on Fridays
  • Fridays 7:45-9:15 am PT/ 10:45-12:15 ET/ 4:45-6:15 Europe

You pick the days that work best for your time zone. You might come to Summer Camp once a week, or every single day. You get to choose! There are no requirements.

I can’t wait to begin and see where the summer takes us.

Read more details about Summer Camp, or go ahead and sign up, right HERE.

“It was the best thing I’ve done for many a summer, or maybe any summer for the past several decades. All I can say is….it started to change everything for me. Every relationship in my immediate family. All the people I thought were a disaster (and I include myself). Summer Camp I thought was going to be a way to try The Work, and it turned out to show me a way to living with The Work as a practice (as you know I joined Year of Inquiry). I just wanted to tell you, it all started with Summer Camp for The Mind”. ~ Participant Summer 2017

Much love,

Grace

P.S. Summer Camp for The Mind has always been seven weeks of jamming with inquiry without recording one single session. That’s changing this year. We record unless you request it NOT to be recorded (which is A-OK). This way, people can listen and listen, even if they can’t attend live.

P.P.S. For those seeking ITW credit (Institute for The Work) for Summer Camp you need to attend at least 10 classes to receive ten credits (attendance will be taken for you).

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Something opens our wings….summer inquiry

Holy smokes, it’s only just over a month until a huge time of opportunity for inquiry gets underway, in TWO different formats. I’ll tell you about them (I highly recommend both) in a minute.

But first, I wanted to share something sort of funny about The Work with me.

Early in my practice of learning The Work, I knew I had great insight when doing it, even after attending the School for The Work.

But. It’s a little weird (though it turns out, not as uncommon as you think). I wouldn’t do it!

I’d think, can’t I just do it in my head? Or maybe quick out loud, while I’m driving? Do I really have to follow the steps and write things down?

I’ll get to it later.

Ugh, it’s so much….WORK.

And I’d find, over and over again, it was never deep and life-shifting until I took it slowly and followed the simple directions: Judge Your Neighbor, Write It Down, Ask Four Questions, Turn It Around.

There is nothing like actually doing The Work as a regular practice in your life to assure you clean your mental slate, reduce or dissolve your stressful thinking, and make inner shifts you may never have thought possible.

What do I mean by “doing” when it comes to The Work?

It sounds simple, but it’s definitely not easy.

People tell me all the time, they feel upset, or nervous, or bad….but they don’t really know why.

This process helps you know why, and then to question, or un-do that knowing.

Like pulling a very stubborn weed out by the roots.

I hope you’ll consider joining me for this summer season blitz of The Work. I’m available almost daily live via telesessions, and we join together with a group of awesome folks.

The good news? It’s all come-when-you-can and low fee season, and a time of fun and sharing and simplicity.

Kinda like summer.

The first event coming up for diving into the great ocean of inquiry is joining together with others to share a retreat called Being With Byron Katie for four whole days! We will be watching the event streamed live on a large flat screen in a lovely house in Seattle, and holding complete silence in between viewing sessions (which is the same as the in-person participants with Katie will be doing in Switzerland).

Yes, you can come for the weekend or one-day only (same low fee of $185) and watch what you miss via recording until September 30th for no extra.

Our silent event Being With Byron Katie begins on Saturday, July 8th at 9:00 am and ends Tuesday, July 11th around 9:00 pm. Find out all the details here, including information about how to reserve your overnight stay in Seattle (but commuters are entirely welcome) at our retreat site house, rented just for us. We’re starting to fill, so good to join us soon.

Some people travel from other states, or fly, to attend Being With Byron Katie in Seattle. ITW candidates can earn 24 credits for an in-person Katie event at the end (ask me how if you’re interested).

The morning following the Being With Byron Katie event, we’ll have an optional 90 minute session for Q & A for those with special questions, from 9-10:30 am on Wednesday July 12th as a part of the event. Several certified facilitators will be on hand to support you. Anyone is welcome if you’re registered for Being With Byron Katie. We’ll meet at the same house where we’re viewing the program.

Staying in The Silence

“I could never, ever, ever be quiet on my own in the same way this 4 day retreat offered me the structure of silence. I never did anything like this before, and it was amazing. I feel like I just got to be on a real retreat with Byron Katie, otherwise prohibitive for me financially. Thanks for making this possible. Can’t wait until next year.” ~ Participant 2016

Next….your chance to REALLY DO The Work as a regular practice:

Summer Camp for The Mind! 

I’m so excited people started signing up for Summer Camp before I even announced it this year.

Summer Camp for The Mind is a virtual group experience where people dial-in to the same conference line (audio only–you can be on your car or puttering around doing laundry if you’re in listen-only mode).

People volunteer to “go” and I give everyone turns who are interested in doing The Work with me out loud. Everyone listens as the volunteer does their work, doing THEIR own work through the listening. There’s some time for feedback and sharing and insight after every stressful thought questioned. Again, you can share, or listen-only.

This is a loose, simple format. Meaning, there are no requirements or expectations. Except to enter into self-inquiry and share the process with others. Show up when you want, leave when you need to.

It’s funny how people won’t even know one another, and may be from different continents, yet they meet, grow familiar with each other’s voices, and even stay in touch. Not long ago, someone shared with me they’ve been doing The Work with a Summer Camp for The Mind participant as a one-on-one facilitation partner since 2015 and not planning on stopping anytime soon.

Summer Camp for The Mind is also  a very inexpensive way to jump in to a more organized scheduled intention doing The Work. The fee is sliding scale range ($150-$500 suggested) and we meet almost daily from July 12-August 18 with a 3 hour mini-retreat to kick off Summer Camp. There are TWO options for the kick-off mini retreat Opening Day to Summer Camp. The first is Weds morning 8-11 am Pacific Time July 5th, the second option is Thursday afternoon July 5th 5:30-8:30 pm PT. Choose one, and come along for learning, listening and doing The Work together.

When you sign up for Summer Camp, come to one session, or all of them. It’s up to you.

I also strongly encourage anyone who is interested in Year of Inquiry, (and I know there are many this year since it’s now worth multiple credits in the Institute for The Work), to sign up for Summer Camp. The whole current Year of Inquiry (YOI) group is included in Summer Camp as a part of their final two summer months of YOI.

These participants are courageous, smart, and experienced. They’ve been in Year of Inquiry since last September, and maybe longer if they’re a regular YOI participant (some repeat annually). What a treat to join with them, along with all the inquirers, sharing this profound time together, to get this work done.

Can’t wait for this summer inquiry jam to begin. For more information head over here.

“For thousands of years we’ve been told not to judge–but let’s face it, we do it all the time. We all have judgments running in our heads. Through The Work we finally have permission to let those judgments speak out, or even scream out, on paper. We may find that even the most unpleasant thoughts can be met with unconditional love.” ~ Byron Katie

But even if you never sign up for a paid program doing The Work of Byron Katie…you can “do” The Work even today, right now.

Start by writing down your stressful thoughts. Get them down in writing.

Now, they can’t slip away from you speedy fast. You wrote them. So you can inquire.

If you can inquire, you have access to freedom.

If you have access to internal freedom, you have the possibility of a new perspective…and joy.

“Something opens our wings. Something makes boredom and hurt disappear. Someone fills the cup in front of us: We taste only sacredness.” ~ Rumi

I know whomever shows up at Being With Byron Katie or Summer Camp for The Mind (or both) are just the right people.

Thank you for joining me.

Much love,

Grace

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Does life feel like one big NO COMFORT Zone sometimes?

Did someone say there was a Comfort Zone somewhere?
Did someone say there was a Comfort Zone somewhere? I don’t see it.

Opening Day to Summer Camp for The Mind is a unique online mini-retreat for three hours from 5:00 – 8:00 pm Pacific Time and it costs nothing. Anyone and everyone are welcome. Tell your friends and family if they’re interested in doing The Work of Byron Katie.

If you want to come to the online Opening Day mini-retreat, head to the Summer Camp page and scroll down. You can’t miss it–the link is already right there. Click it at 5 pm on July 5th and join. No registration required.

You can listen-only, or participate live (audio only) via your computer or your phone.

Now here’s something kind of funny….the very same day, in the morning, it just happens to be First Tuesday of The Month Meetup Call, for 75 minutes. This monthly call is also open to everyone and anyone who wants to question their stressful thinking.

So you could start your day with inquiry, and end your day with more inquiry. And see what happens in between!

Life’s a sandwich!

And it’s a pretty good sandwich if the bread is The Work.

If you’ve been wanting a Walk-Through of The Work of Byron Katie from start to finish, and you don’t want to leave your home to do it, either one of these would be great. I recommend using headphones, but you can do speaker phone, too.

We’ll start at the very, very, very beginning at the first step of The Work—locating and clearly identifying a stressful experience, interaction, conversation or situation in your life.

Then, we’ll apply the four questions. You can listen, or raise your hand and participate.

If you love it and want to continue in inquiry until August 19th you can sign up after the mini-retreat Opening Day of Summer Camp For The Mind July 5th. You’ll sign up by donating what works for you.

Yep, I really mean it. No set fee.

Why do I do it this way?

Well, I remember myself and the way I thought about trying new or public or group things, or new venues for things I already did regularly.

It wasn’t so easy to actually take the plunge and try it.

As in, I had to build up a lot of nerve, energy, interest and motivation to go for it.

(I’m still like this sometimes–I’ve been thinking about going to a regular yoga class for almost two years).

It’s funny to like trying new things, and also NOT LIKE IT ONE BIT.

Can’t we just stick with the usual? Not any big major changes?

Can’t I makes changes slllllooooowwwwwwlllllyyyyy? So there’s no surprises?

There’s this term called Comfort Zone.

I know you’ve heard it.

Yada yada, so boring if I hear that term One More Time about comfort zone and getting out of it I’m going to stab my hand with a pencil.

Heh heh. Not that I get THAT excited about coaching terminology.

But for me….my whole LIFE was out of the Comfort Zone.

Where is the comfort zone, I thought? I’m looking for it on a daily basis!

Is it over there? No. Is it over here? No.

Comfort Zone Comfort Zone, where are you hiding? (Picture a dog owner looking for the dog in the neighborhood, and the dog’s name is Comfort Zone. That’s what it was like on the inside, yelling and wandering the streets).

No wonder I didn’t want to try anything new! It seemed there was no such thing as a comfort zone in my area, and let’s get clear….new stuff DEFINITELY wasn’t it, so new stuff was OUT.

For me, the reason I usually tried something new was because I was so incredibly uncomfortable with what I currently was living, I couldn’t take the pain anymore, the suffering.

The Work is a way to dig into this state of mind. LACK of Comfort Zone.

So welcome to anyone who is unhappy, feels screwed up, feels miserable with work, relationships, parents, family, circumstances, money, body, eating, addiction, anger, criticism, sadness, annoyance, disappointment.

When I began to do The Work, that’s where I started. No Comfort Zone in sight. It’s why I went to The School for The Work.

And I found….with practice….

….maybe the Comfort Zone was here all along, I just couldn’t see it because I was wearing some really, really dark glasses.

“You can take the four questions and find yourself. The questions are the path back to your self. They don’t care what the story is. They just wait for you to answer them.” ~ Byron Katie in 1000 Names for Joy

It’s OK if you don’t find anything with The Work. It’s almost better if you have zero expectations. Let life unfold the way it does, without you managing it or trying to stay safer or trying to get somewhere different (like the aforementioned CZ, I’ll try not to think about it).

I don’t always feel comfortable. In fact, sometimes I’m quite uncomfortable.

But thank goodness for the quiet solitude, the slowing down, the stillness, the simplicity….of The Work.

If you’d like a daily meditation for seven weeks during the summer (or a free mini-retreat on Tuesday July 5th from 5-8 pm in the evening Pacific Time) then head over to this page and scroll down a wee bit to find the link to the Opening Day of Summer CampOnline Mini Retreat. Anyone can join, no registration or opt-in required.

I would truly love to work with you.

Much love,

Grace

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What If I Invite Them, And They Don’t Come?

Breitenbush Hot Springs Retreat June 25-29 has a car camping spot, plus one camp site, for anyone to stay on the grounds who wants to attend our retreat, which is bursting full (can’t wait to be with everyone who is coming)!

We’ve been moved to a larger retreat space at Breitenbush because of all the fabulous people enrolled (it’s called the River Yurt).

If you thought you were too late to come to Breitenbush, and you’re happy camping in a gorgeous old-growth forest near natural hot springs….then you’re in luck.

But call today, these last few spaces will go speedy quick.

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There’s such an astonishing quantity of inner beliefs around inviting, gathering, bringing people together, raising the roof, creating a tribe, forming a posse.

Even if you’re imagining a birthday celebration for yourself, with other people, and you want those you love to come together in one place, on the same day (preferably, ha ha!)….

….that one idea of putting out the invite alone is slightly stressful for some people.

Whether you’re super crazy shy or just a little uncomfortable with loads of attention and asking people to join you, little thoughts can appear that aren’t exactly friendly.

You may be a manager at work who has to get all the staff to come to a meeting, you may want to create a meaningful moment before a big occasion, you may want moral support from your very besties, you may be wanting to fill up a workshop or an event because you’re a healer with something important to offer, you may want to ask someone on a date.

Such an exciting idea!!

But then…..here come the thoughts:

  • no one will be available
  • they won’t want to come
  • I need to make sure they have a stunning mind-blowing magnificent time, or else they’ll never want to see me again
  • they’ll think I am (fill in the blank; boring, stupid, unworthy, attention-seeking, selfish, childish, inexperienced, unpolished, silly, unimportant, meek)
  • if everyone says no, it will prove I’m unworthy (and alone)
If you feel these kinds of thoughts, without questioning them, you’ll probably have a few butterflies in your stomach as you get ready to create an event.
Or a terrible sinking feeling of nerves-on-ice.
If you have a dream, and then you notice some doubts about who will show up to join you in that dream….
….let’s do The Work on it today and see what happens.
(It will be good).
The first thing to do is to get a really good solid picture of the WORST thing that could happen.
Seriously.
You invite people to your graduation party, and one or two people show up. They stay for a polite amount of time and exit.
Or whatever your scenario.
You know it’s already crossed your mind! So just go ahead and go there.
As you think about that uncomfortable future possibility….
….see if it’s true that it would be a bad thing if no one showed up, if the cute man you’ve wanted to ask to tea said no, or if your wedding was attended by only half the number you expected?
Yes. It’s true.
That would suck.
Are you positive?
Kind of. Um. Yeah, I’m pretty sure it would be bad.
How do you react when you believe it would be HORRIBLE if no one showed? That it means there’s something wrong with you, you are not liked, you’re boring?
How do you react when you think other people think you’re a dork? Or unworthy?
Sinking, sinking down to the bottom of the lake. Very disappointed. Sad. I’m stupid.
I should never have asked.
Ow.
But who would you be without those beliefs?
If you couldn’t even have the thought that it’s bad if no one shows up, that you aren’t important, or that it’s hard to invite people to things?
Oh. That’s different.
Yes, it’s more…..fun. It’s easy. It’s not a big effort, it’s just a question. I’m expressing an idea into the universe and seeing if there are others who want to join.
It’s not personal.
I can even keep asking, if I continue to want company, without expectation, for the joy of asking!
Without any of these beliefs, that future horror movie moment when it’s a supposed disaster is not a disaster. It’s just quieter, or more intimate than I thought it would be.
Just me, and silence.
I like silence.
I turn the thoughts around:
  • everyone will be available
  • they will want to come
  • I do NOT need to make sure they have a stunning mind-blowing magnificent time, I could make sure I myself have a stunning mind-blowing magnificent time
  • they’ll think I am (exciting, brilliant, worthy, content, self-confident, playful, experienced, polished, deep, important, strong)….and they’ll think whatever they think
  • if everyone says no, it proves nothing, and being alone is wonderful

“Success is an internal experience that’s lived out with nothing to stop it. If you could get this, it’s the end of suffering, the end of shortages…..Show me any area when you cannot play big. And no one ever has to know, it can be a secret. Every step is for you, for you, for you. Everything becomes big when you’re in service. You can’t even claim the service. When you’re aware of your life and how amazing you are, you see how amazing everything is. Even the ground that supports your next step.” ~ Byron Katie

  Wow, oh wow. Invite everyone. Don’t invite anyone. All absolutely brilliantly wonderful. This moment, now, full of such joyful sensation that I notice…. …everything and everyone is coming.

Much love, Grace

P.S. Definitely room in Summer Camp June Session. Group calls are Monday afternoons, Tuesday mornings, Thursday mid-mornings Pacific time. Try it, you might like it. Inquiry freedom! I’m inviting you–hee hee!