Tag: pema chodron

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Alone And Aggravated

Feeling connected with life, the planet, other humans, our surroundings….isn’t always easy, or automatic, or clear.

Even if we know we’re connected to others in the big scheme of things, like we get it cognitively with our thoughts, the deep feeling sense of being alone can still be alive.

And sometimes, it isn’t fun.

I used to feel like it was floating in outer space with no planet, human, or warmth in sight.

Yesterday the Eating Peace group met for the second time.

Everyone had the invitation to consider their “worst” moments or times of day with food. A repetitive experience.

So many people I’ve worked with over the years have a restless, unpleasant, empty, lonely feeling when they are toward the end of their day.

Perhaps it’s already evening, or night time. Open time. Choice. A desire for entertainment. No need for work. Space. Silence. Home.

During the day, there’s morning, work, to-do lists, errands. Sometimes a reason to keep it together. A job. Other People.

But oh…….the evening.

Many people drawn to drink alcohol do it at this hour as well.

So what’s going on?

For me, I often finally felt like I could relax, stop doing the “right” thing all day, stop working so dang hard.

Sometimes, the empty space of evening allowed my deeper fears or longings to stir….and I didn’t really want to spend time with those fears or look at them head on.

In any case, the space of silence and being alone can bring out some of our strongest beliefs about the universe.

Seriously. It’s that big, and that telling.

There I am, by myself in my safe, warm home. No one to ask me questions, look at me, see me, criticize me, attack me, compete against me, blame me, or need me.

What’s going on for you? How do you talk to yourself?

Some inquirers in Eating Peace said they had the “right” things to do and the “wrong” things to do in that empty space.

I can relate.

My own mind would start in, when I had several free hours and a night alone.

I should do laundry, wash the blankets, clean the kitchen, vacuum, empty the garbage, work on a creative project, write, work out at the gym, write her a thank you letter, read, clean out my closet, research.

I should do something productive.

It was almost like my own mind wouldn’t let me alone to Do Nothing.

Where was the freedom?!

In food.

It was the only way I could be chaotic, non-logical, wild, a rebel, and stop the dictator mind that wouldn’t let me relax, do what I wanted, have pleasure, enjoy myself.

Here’s the belief that would enter, and seem really, really true:

Eating will be nice, comforting, fun, sneaky, an alternative to more work, satisfying. It will help me turn off the mind that never stops and get something for me, for once. 

Let’s take this to inquiry.

Is it true that eating something, in that moment of empty space, with mental chatter that isn’t exactly supportive, will distract me and allow me to get something for me?

Yes. I’m rebelling and crushing that mental chatter. It’s so demanding!

With food, I defy that voice (or maybe for you its alcohol, or some other compulsive process).

But can I absolutely know that it’s true that at that moment, food helps?

Yes! That’s why I keep eating! It actually helps!

What a stupid question!

But here’s the interesting inquiry: can you absolutely know that eating will really, really help in the end?

Um, that would definitely be a NO. A big fat no. Because I’m filled with suffering around food when I realize it actually “works” to a certain extent to give me some relief….but it doesn’t help the silence, the emptiness, the lonesomeness, the cravings, or the frustration Go Away.

Ever.

I override the harsh voice temporarily, I get some power back (I’ll eat what I DAMN WELL PLEASE you &*^%#@!)

But. Bummer. The trance always ends.

And it can’t have really helped, because I am suffering.

When I believe that food, or whatever, changes the channel and gives me some relief from the toil of it all, how do  I react?

I get into the whatever. I eat.

Who would I be without the thought that I have no power?

Who would I be without the thought that empty space, quiet stillness, or open time should be filled?

Who would I be without the thought that I am not capable of finding my own answers, or dealing with the evenings in my life?

Without the thought that eating something will help?

I would feel hope. I would feel curious. Patience. Wondering. Willing to be honest.

I also might cry my eyes out. I might realize how pissed off I feel sometimes.

 

But I’d be willing to stop taking so seriously that chatterbox that won’t shut up about what a loser I am.

“I can give you the simples of all possible rules of thumb: Any time a voice is talking to you that is not talking with love and compassion, don’t believe it! No exceptions!” ~ Cheri Huber

I turn the thoughts around:

Eating something will not help me. Eating something in this haunted alone evening time will hinder me.

Doing anything addictive and distracting will not help me.

“Meditation….is seeing our emotions and thoughts just as they are right now, in this very moment, in this very room, on this very seat. It’s about not trying to make them go away, not trying to become better than we are, but just seeing clearly with precision and gentleness.” ~ Pema Chodron

Could it be this simple?

Yes.

Love, Grace

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Your Birthright of Ambiguity, Uncertainty and Not Knowing

So many classes about to begin, new people to work with, ideas popping right and left, projects underway….

….in my mind yesterday I suddenly thought “it’s too much, I’m forgetting things, it’s going too fast, I need to narrow it down, too many emails to reply to, something will get missed, this class needs to start a week later, that one needs to get postponed, must finish book proposal for awaiting editor by yesterday, focus is scattered”.  

It’s like looking at a gorgeous Victorian home that has not been lived in for 40 years. You inherited the house two years ago and began making plans, hiring the architect, getting blueprints, sorting out how to restore and improve this beautiful building from the studs up.

But you don’t exactly have thousands of dollars to draw from to put into this place. So it’s taking awhile.

But the plans are in place, you’ve had lots of good experience, you’ve imagined with joy what this will look like.

And yet, in one moment “this will never get done”.

Followed by a feeling of deflation. The air went out of the balloon and there is a little wrinkled bag of rubber in its place.

The party’s over.

And then, depending on the magnitude of the loss….perhaps a relationship that you’ve worked on for several years is really ending, perhaps the house will go into foreclosure, perhaps you’ve been binge-eating like this for two decades off and on…

total despair.

This will never get done….I’ll never get there. 

Time for The Work.

Is it true?

I don’t know. But with this feeling of giving up, feeling hopeless, wanting to quit, throw in the towel, bag the whole thing…..it’s likely.

Can you absolutely know it is true, that you’ll never get there? That this vision you have will never come to fruition? That you won’t accomplish “x” or have “y” in the way you dream of?

No. Not true. I just Don’t Know. That’s all.

How do you react when you believe something will never happen that you’d like to have happen?

How do you react when you think that Not Knowing whether it will happen or not is somehow SAD?

I demand to KNOW.

I think knowing what’s going on is better than not knowing. I don’t like all this open space.

I have visions of saying “I quit!” to the universe. Shaking my fist at the ceiling.

I believe that what’s happening is chaotic, too much, not right and disappointing. I’m pissy.

But who would you be without the thought that what you are hoping for, what you want, what you envision will never get done, you will never get there, it will never happen?

Wow.

I’d take another step.

In the story of the Hobbit there was discouragement, disappointment, terror, hopelessness….but no one ever sat down in the middle of the road and said “I am not going any farther. I give up. It’s over.”

They definitely thought it. They had their moments.

But without the thought that it will never happen and you will never get what you want, ever….

….this moment becomes fresher, more alive.

Without the belief that I will never get THERE, I feel excited. I look around this room where I sit.

My favorite loose cotton tangerine yoga pants, a cup of herbal tea with honey and milk, seasoned raw zucchini strips just brought by a good friend on the table beside me, a cardboard box cut open across the room on a desk, the sun beaming through window slats and making all the crumbs under the dining room table glow.

This moment.

“As human beings, not only do we seek resolution, but we also feel that we deserve resolution. However, not only do we not deserve resolution, we suffer from resolution. We don’t deserve resolution; we deserve something better than that. We deserve our birthright, which is the middle way, an open state of mind that can relax with paradox and ambiguity.” ~ Pema Chodron

Could it be that this place of not knowing, of not having an answer, of seeing what I want and yet feeling ambiguity, failure, striving, possible loss…

…could it be that this here now is the most wonderful place of all?

What if never getting there and never having it get done is fine, OK….even good, advantageous, perfect for me right now.

How exciting! Joy can be here, now….without whatever it is getting “done”.

With much love,

Grace

P.S. Eating Peace will begin January 15th! This is for people tormented by a binge-purge or compulsive eating cycle, negative self-criticism, bulimia, fear and anger towards their relationship with food.

Since this is the first trial of this class, with the wisdom I’ve learned from several teachers brought in who offer healing on this topic, I offer it for $395 but encourage anyone to ask for sliding scale help if you need it and are drawn.

Only $195 for people who have taken Horrible Food Wonderful Food before.

If you want updates and announcements on this topic be sure to sign up for Eating Peace emails by clicking Update Profile at bottom of this email.

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Welcoming This Ailment As If You Had Invited It

Tomorrow the Pain, Sickness and Death telegroup starts 5:15-6:45 pm Pacific Time. There are still a few spaces! We meet for six weeks.

It’s interesting that this class is starting tomorrow.

Because I’ve had a sore throat and swollen glands and a stuffed up nose. I’m sick!

On this great hierarchy of maladies, it’s the least concerning in most of our minds, right?

I feel the symptoms. My ears hurt a little. I’m not awake at my usual very early morning hour. My voice is off.

But I really don’t know what the actual cause is, specifically, in THIS body. There are simply sensations moving about, changing, aching.

And I have an awareness that the body is making corrections, adjusting, healing, moving something through.

But my mind is not afraid. It’s not thinking “I could die from this”. It’s not thinking “I’ll never recover and live the rest of my life with this pain in my throat”.

It’s not getting all dramatic and going off on tangents trying to find a cure. I don’t feel panic, or sadness.

However, if a doctor or someone I thought of as educated, someone whose opinion I trusted, said “Uh oh. This is a dangerous situation. It’s not just a cold,” I would probably have a jolt of adrenaline run through me.

That’s what happened when I had a little mole biopsied almost seven years ago.

The mole was so small, that this “biopsy” (meaning they take some of the tissue by cutting it off carefully with a very sharp medical knife) practically removed the whole entire mole from my right thigh.

It had been there for about a year. My doctor had said it didn’t look like anything to be alarmed about.

But it grew a little bigger over that year. I kept feeling it all the time, more and more often. This bump in my skin, like the eraser on a small pencil.

The biopsy required four stitches. There was a round ball under the surface of my skin.

My doctor said to come back in a week and she would send the tissue off to a lab so they could analyze it.

The next week, back in the doctor’s office, she came in and said with a smile “let’s get those stitches removed”. I had only had stitches once in my entire life, and that was in 1976 with a broken right ankle after a crazy gymnastics vault landing that required surgery.

I thought about how amazing it was that humans found that the skin is like fabric, and that you can sew it back together.

But then the doctor said “OK, you can put your pants back on and have a seat here, and I’ll be back to talk about the results of the biopsy.”

Oh yeah, the results! Cool!

Wait.

You mean, this is like “results” that have to wait for me to be seated? Not the kind of results that you say while you’re also removing stitches like “everything looks good”.

That doctor hadn’t said any of those light sounding words.

Then it washed through me like a wave crashing.

Damn.

It’s cancer or something. What else grows a “tumor”? It’s cancer. What else requires me to get fully dressed and have a seat?

That all happened within 30 seconds.

She came in. I heard the words “sarcoma” and “….generally see this in people of color”….and “need to go see a surgeon who specializes…”

I couldn’t really hear everything, because my mind was having a heart attack.

That’s one of the moments that was born in my life for The Work, for personal inquiry, for looking at what I was afraid of, that I thought was true.

A few days later, I took out paper, and began writing down my thoughts.

Thoughts about death, treatment, dying, hurting, surgery, the future, the past.

I found out, by doing The Work, that things weren’t as bad as I thought.

Who would I be without the thought that this situation was dangerous, that cancer was life-threatening, that I was doomed?

Not terrified. That’s all I could come up with at first. Not exactly “happy” and welcoming….but NOT TERRIFIED was surprisingly better than terrified.

Who would I be without the thought that cancer was horrifying, the worst that could happen?

On a continuum that carried forward into the unknown. On a mystery ride.

Just like everyone else.

“Loving what is, is not kinda liking what is, or kind of appreciating what is, it’s not accepting what is….it is good. It is really exciting.” ~ Byron Katie

If you want to take an interesting journey into questioning beliefs about sickness, physical ailments, pain that seems to hurt, cancer, death…then come join the telegroup starting tomorrow. Click here to register.

You do not have to have something serious occurring in your life, or be a survivor of some kind of trauma….

….you can simply notice that you have fearful, annoyed, angry, or very painful beliefs about physical threats, conditions, or circumstances.

You notice you are interested in honestly questioning these beliefs about living inside a vulnerable body.

Who knows, whatever ails you may be your spiritual path.

I know it’s been mine.

I’d love you to join me in inquiry, to end the fearful thinking.

“Welcome the present moment as if you had invited it. It is all we ever have, so we night as well work with it rather than struggling against it. We might as well make it our friend and teacher rather than our enemy.” ~ Pema Chodron

Love, Grace

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You’re Too Afraid Of Anger–Is It True?

A lovely inquirer who has worked with me regularly for several years contacted me to start a new set of solo sessions.

She described a recent dilemma, a very stressful situation.

She encountered a person in the business world who she found intimidating.

This was a new project, a new character entering her life experience.

At first, this person was just a little bothersome. But quickly, her experience shifted to huge anxiety. He was contentious, pushy, trying to negotiate harshly.

She wanted to run.

We’ve all encountered people who frighten us at one time or another.

Once, I was sitting in my car, in a parking lot, in the winter. Doors and windows closed. I was finishing a short phone call to schedule a new client.

I looked up to see a man yelling orders at a little boy who appeared to be his son about age four. The boy was running right at the heals of the man, both arms straight at his side, a terrified but stern look on his little face.

The man yelled so loud, it made me look up through my windshield. He was shouting things like “closer! stay with me! NOW!”

They were gone in an instant, across my vision and then out of sight to the right. I had no contact with them, except to hear and see, for just a moment.

But it frightened me.

I left my car, looking over the parking lot. Instead of reading my latest book in the gym while I rode one of those bike machines…I did The Work.

The gym has been a fabulous place for writing worksheets, especially when my feelings are boiling or jumping.

I had a blank piece of paper and a pen, and if I didn’t, I would have asked for one.

I realized that this was a perfect motion-picture moment of my fear of rage. An adult angry with a kid; the smaller person has no equality…abuse, terror, no way out, hopelessness, lack of power.

Wow, I suddenly realized how afraid I was of anger. Afraid of someone who I thought had a lot of power, or physical strength.

I am undergoing a project with my son (age 19) to watch every Best Picture from every year since the very first Grammy Awards.

We started a couple of years ago, with the year 1931. We’ve gone backwards over time.

Last week we got to the year 1968 and watched Oliver Twist.

I suddenly remembered that when I watched that movie, at the young age of 6 or 7, it was the first time I learned that an adult could become wildly crazed with fury, and kill another person (his girlfriend)!

My jaw dropped open at the time, my stomach hurt, it was so haunting.

In fact the whole movie painted a picture of ideas about loss, death, tragedy, children with no parents, starving orphans, mean nasty bullies, and then….being SAVED.

As I reflected on the movie messages, I realized that way back before I even ever saw that movie, I already had learned that anger was dangerous, that I should be careful not to ruffle any feathers, and that the “good” people (good kids) don’t go around disturbing their parents!

I believed anger was bad.

This was the biggest piece of proof so far: violence and murder.

What a fantastic place for inquiry, looking at a very terrifying situation.

With this inquirer who called recently, I could tell she really wanted to know the truth.

She saw how she reacted when she believed the thought that the man she encountered was absolutely overpowering.

She crawled into bed and no longer answered his phone calls.

This can be a very wise reaction…

….but the part that hurt the most was her upset towards herself for not standing up to him, not being a rock star bee-och, withdrawing.

Who would you be without the thought that you should not run?

Who would I be without the thought that because I didn’t jump out of my car and do something, say something that day in the parking lot, that I was a chicken, or a failure?

Without the thought that you need to get tougher, say “No” more clearly, swoop in and be the Terminator?

“Whatever you take on, you do as well as you can. That’s your full potential. That’s how I do the dishes, its how I scrub the floor, it’s how I am with my children, with my husband. I do the best that I can, and that’s my full potential in the moment, and that’s good with me.” ~ Byron Katie

The turnaround came alive for me in the gym that day when I realized that at that particular time, place and reality, that the way it went was the best way it could have gone.

It offered a deep awareness of my fear of loud noises, yelling, and hitting.

I also realized that I had no idea, really, who that child was, or what was going on, or who the man was to the child, or what was happening next, or where they were going.

I had a huge story created in my imagination that was almost as unreal as the movie Oliver.

I noticed then too, that without the thought that anger is bad, my heart opens up to the noise that is drawing my attention (called yelling).

I see fear, panic, someone who is believing what they think, someone who is worried that the world is a dangerous place, and they need to control things or stay safe…ME.

The only reason we don’t open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don’t feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else’s eyes. ” ~ Pema Chödrön 

You’ve done the best you can. Keep inquiring.

Love, Grace

Click Here to read about or register for the 8 week teleclass Turning Relationship Hell to Heaven. Room for one last person on Thursday mornings 8 am 9/12-11/7 (no class 10/10).

YOI is full. Next one starts in January 2014!

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No Such Thing As More Time

I WANT MORE FREE TIME!

I had this thought the other day as I thought about the stack on my front porch of boxes, knick-knacks, little kid bike, drum set, printers, doodads, books and “stuff” that needs to be sold, or given to charity.

That stuff needs to be gone.

What has to happen for that stuff to be gone? I need time.

I need time….so that I can clean things, continue to go through the shed of stored boxes, take photos of the good stuff, post it on the internet, actually have a “garage sale” (I used to think of these as a huge waste of time considering how much money could be made) and borrow a truck and go to the dump.

I think this would all take about 4 days, working most of the days, to be entirely complete, only stopping for food and water.

I barely have time to hang out with my own family, and they are definitely a priority.

And now that I’m thinking about it, I have quite a list of tasks that I KNOW I want to engage in….all of which take time time time.

I love looking at language about time.

Things “take” time, things “waste” time, things are time “sensitive”, I’m in a time “crunch”, I “spend” time, I’m “losing” time, I have “too much” time on my hands, I “don’t have much” time.

Funny to say all the quantity-amount words about something that is only a concept.

I mean, right now, in this moment, where is time? Do I have a bucket of it? Do I actually have four hours “left” before I teach my next class, and one hour before a client, and eight hours before a hair cut appointment, one month already gone of the gorgeous summer months of the Pacific Northwest?

Lots of measurements, all describing a limit, a known quantity, a set amount of something, a quota.

A beginning, middle and end.

Yeah! And I need MORE of it!

When I believe this thought…it can be supremely stressful.

Here is this thing called “time” and since there’s only so much, I have to go really, really, really FAST when I need more of it.

The body gets all hyped up, zippy, full of adrenaline, pushing, noticing those other “slow” people out there who are hindering my progress.

Have you noticed how your body feels when you are in your car, and you are on your way to something incredibly important?

You turn the car onto the freeway and suddenly, you are in very, very slow-moving almost-standstill traffic….

….you have a job interview, you have gotten a call that your child is at the hospital, you find out your house is on fire, your partner is going on stage in 12 minutes for opening night…

How do you react when you believe that you need more time! NOW!

The wave of tension is like a buzzing accumulation of energy. For me, it feels like some part of my self is out in front of me, my stomach is in knots, my chest can’t breathe, there is tight live-wire electric energy shooting out of my arms.

I’ve seen people yell out of their windows in traffic, or give people the finger or start commenting and talking to other drivers, swearing…angry, furious, frustrated, frightened.

Who would I be without the thought that when I see the pile on the porch, or in ANY situation (the length of my life, to give a deep example) I need more time?

What do I actually need more time FOR?

Can I absolutely know that its true that I should be somewhere other than where I am, in this moment? Is it really true that I need to have that thing completed, that I think needs to be complete?

Am I so certain that as things are right here in this moment…in traffic, walking by the pile of items that I want off the porch, looking at my calendar with appointments scheduled back-to-back, noticing that I’ve lived over fifty years so far in this lifetime…that I actually need more TIME?

No.

Who would I really be, right here in this situation where more time seems desireable, WITHOUT the thought that I need more time?

Without the thought….I feel an empty space, a relaxing space, glow from within. I lean back, I sit back, I breathe deeply.

If I’m in a car, other drivers appear fascinating. I see colors, hear sounds, I look up into the sky. I notice things everywhere all around me.

I feel like laughing. There is a lightness of nothing really mattering.

It doesn’t mean I won’t do anything, in fact it sounds fun to move stuff from porch to other places soon, but it doesn’t really matter exactly when that happens.

My to-do list looks much more fun.

I notice I love working with clients…my favorite. I love teaching. I love being alive. I love doing inquiry. I love watching, looking, investigating reality.

I am amazed by the world moving before me, an epic movie of amazing proportions.

“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time–past and future–the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

If I don’t make it to the hospital bedside on time, if I don’t make it to the applause opening moment of the Big Show, if I’m late to the interview, if I walk in to a meeting that already began, if the pile of stuff is on the porch for “x” days….how would I know that isn’t perfect?

Can I be open to finding advantages, benefits, sweetness…for things happening in just the order they’ve happened?

What if there is always enough time?

Perhaps the more I stop believing that I need more time, the more joy I experience in this present moment….the more of the most important things will get “done” when they get done, and this body will move from Point A to Point B in just the right timing and order.

Even dying right on time.

“Patience is the training in abiding with the restlessness of our energy and letting things evolve at their own speed”….”In truth, there is enormous space in which to live our everyday lives.” ~ Pema Chodron

Love, Grace

  • Our Wonderful Sexuality: A Safe Place For Inquiry on Painful Thoughts About Sexuality. Mondays, October 21-December 9, 2013 8-9:30 am Pacific time. 8 weeks $395. Register Here.
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  • Pain, Sickness and Death: The Worst That Can Happen. Fridays, September 13 – October 25, 2013 10-11:30 am PT. 6 week teleclass. Register Here.
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You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For

Today and tomorrow, I get to spend some time with one of my favorite people: Adyashanti.

Or should I say: ME.

Adya is a spiritual teacher, of which there are so many….and he, like Byron Katie, happens to be someone whose words are exciting, gentle, and powerful for me.

But I know that Adya, as well as Katie or anyone else with great integrity, would smile just knowing that I come to sit with them and listen because really, it’s all about me enjoying my own company.

This happened for me in the past in therapy, with a wise counselor, and many mentors over the years. Even authors who as I read their work, I felt so excited and thrilled.

Different people click for different personalities. You may have someone you admire who is a brilliant scientist in your field, or a thoughtful minister of a church, or a creative genius who sings inspiring songs, or an inspirational speaker who moves your heart.

Here in our human condition, there appears to be a wonderful interweaving of input from others, contact with people who move us (even when they don’t mean to) and then a process we’re going through the whole entire time with ourselves.

I would go so far as to say that learning to enjoy, deeply enjoy, my own company is one of the greatest and most wonderful, and sometimes BRUTALLY DIFFICULT things I’ve ever done.

Jeez! My own company has been a NIGHTMARE!

And the funny thing is, you probably know what I mean, right?

That voice, the committee, that never shuts up and comments on EVERYTHING and is excessively critical. Whew!

One time when I was on a meditation retreat, with total silence for meals, no reading, no listening to anything electronic of any kind, no writing…I just about had a heart attack.

I was awake at 3:30 am in a room with ten other people. All asleep. Too dark to go outside (we were way in the wilderness on many acres in deep woods).

I HAD TO LIE THERE DOING NOTHING! Pure torture!

This was not the feeling of being with the love of my life, my favorite person ever. It was NOT the feeling of spending time with my most beloved and steady best friend.

Now I smile, as I remember that difficult time, exhausted with thinking and with silence.

The mind is sooooooo dramatic.

Who would I be without that thought, that being in my own company is uncomfortable, lonely, sad, anxiety-ridden, boring, uninteresting, or painful?

Who would I be without the thought that my mind is a foe, an enemy?

It’s like God is giving me a nudge, as we’re both up there in the sky looking down on the person apparently called Grace Bell, and God says “that person is going to be the most interesting, wonderful, lovable, patient, steadfast, loyal friend…that person is going to take you on adventures and you are going to LOVE her with all your heart!”

How would you live your life if you had the thought “OH BOY! A day of quiet with just me, the love of my life!”

You might notice you are bursting with happiness. You might see that lots of people want to hang out with you (now that you love being alone, it’s hilarious). You might be happy to spend time with all the wonderful people you ever encounter on the planet.

You might even notice that the people who bring up a little spicy flavor, or edgy response, or disappointment, or sadness…you might feel appreciation for those people.

You can certainly relate to them, if they seem bothered by something you’re doing…after all, isn’t that just like one of the ways you’ve been, too? Haven’t you also been bothered and critical of yourself?

There is a term in Buddhist practice called “maitri”. It means to be unconditionally friendly with oneself.

Pema Chodron says that maitri is sticking with ourselves when we don’t have anything, even when we think we’re a loser.

What if just for today, just for five minutes even after you read this, you practice maitri towards your mind, your emotions, all parts of you.

What if YOU are the one you’ve been waiting for?

Your favorite, most wonderful, fabulous, exciting, fascinating, mind-blowing person has arrived in town today! YOU!

“Whatever you have, that’s it. There’s no better situation than the one you have. It’s made for you. It’ll show you everything you need to know about where your zipper’s stuck and where you can leap.”~Pema Chodron

Love, Grace