Tag: not enough time

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Not Enough Time? An Unexpected Place To Find Some

The pull of everyday life can seem *crazy* busy, right?

Common cries of most people are thoughts like these:

  • we’ve got only 15 minutes to get lunch made, kids loaded, breakfast eaten, and get to school on time—-HURRY!
  • I have 102 emails in my Inbox and they need replies
  • my job takes such a huge chunk out of my day, how will I ever have time for meditation, journaling, healing my thoughts, doing The Work, becoming enlightened
  • there are so many requests or demands for my time
  • it would be selfish to focus on myself, or too expensive to focus on myself (I would need to spend money)
  • there’s always something! I “have to” go to the store, do laundry, write, get my project finished, fix something that broke, put out a fire
The underlying view: I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME!!!!!
Such a good one for inquiry.
First…..are you sure it’s true?
OMG Yes!
If I never slept, all would be well. If there were 28 hours in a day, if I could set the clock back ten years, if, if, if…..
You know what that thought feels like when you think it.
You run lists.
Your heart beats fast, you get all squeezed and wound up tight tight tight.
You imagine what will happen if you do NOT take care of the list.
Your imagination runs wild with being late, getting fired, people being unhappy with you, losing money, having a bad future–whether its tomorrow, or your upcoming vacation.
Or, worst of all, you might never ever accomplish your greatest dreams.
They all take TIME.
And you don’t have it.
Disappointment, sadness, rage, irritation, fury, fear, anxiety.
Last night, I was in an airport after a beautiful 4 day retreat with a small group and teacher I work with these days, in a very deeply meaningful study of stillness and silence.
Early in the morning and late in the evening, outside of our small group time together every day, I wrote my Grace Notes and checked emails.
It felt easy and sweet, not a problem.
Hitting the airport, visions of my upcoming Eating Peace retreat came to mind and little to-do’s needing to happen in these final ten days before it occurs.
I need to stick this into the curriculum, get the little papers with questions on them written for that exercise, order notebooks, get a good map for our location, etc.
Although I’m mostly joyful, thrilled (its sold out) and excited to meet everyone coming to the retreat…I had to take a deep breath and remember, this is the real retreat for me, right now.
Right here, in the airport. On the road. In daily life.
If you don’t exactly get there all that easily (I remember lack-of-time freak-outs very well, and I bet you five bucks they happen again) then you are very, very normal.
Consider right now, as you take the time to read this….
….who would you be without the belief that you need more time, for anything? Without the belief running in your mind that you don’t have enough time to follow your dreams or achieve them?
Without the belief that it takes more time to awaken?
Wow. Seriously?
How could that be possible?
Just check.
Who would you be without that idea entering your mind?
“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time–past and future–the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Without the idea of time being necessary, I wouldn’t focus on five minutes from now. I wouldn’t build a story out of my end-of-life, I wouldn’t move into the drama of things-not-done.

I’d kick back on the airplane and close my eyes and feel the pulse of life beating in my veins and the edges of the universe in every direction.

Ha ha!

Just a small thing, no big deal.

And even while I’m doing tasks for coming events, I can remember to feel presence buzzing, now.

You can too!

Turn the thought around: It doesn’t matter what time it is or how late you are or when you get that thing done. It’s OK if you don’t finish. You don’t “have to”, no one is forcing you to do anything.

Remember how funny it is. Laugh when you start thinking you don’t have enough time.

You DO have just the exact right amount of time.

Or maybe YOU don’t have any time, it’s not in your command, so just give up and give in and show up when you do–everything exactly on time at the perfect moment.

Ahhhhhhhhh.

Love, Grace

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You Are Right On Time

I’m off in silent retreat!

Amazing technology…I can write this before I enter the retreat and you get it now.

And, how do I really know what will happen? There could be a tech glitch and what I think will happen in a few days actually won’t. There could be a surprise.

Sometimes planes don’t take off, things don’t go as we think.

No kidding, right?!?

Time…and all the ideas we have about it…is soooo crazy and fascinating.

And sometimes brutally stressful, without the ability to question what runs through your mind about “time”.

I have to plan now, I have to get ready, I have to get it done, I have to make good use of it, I’m not getting it finished, I absolutely do not have enough, I need more of it, life is too short.

These can be hard thoughts to have.

I have a wonderful friend who told me recently he can’t wait until he’s 62 so he can move himself into a retirement community, whatever place he picks where he’ll be for the rest of his life, and never have to worry about it from that point forward.

He has 11 years to wait until he’s 62!

But that was so funny (and fun) to me…since many of us don’t want to think about what’s coming in the future when it relates to retiring, declining, decaying, aging, dying.

Some of us might have the response to a friend making this kind of announcement that he’s planning too far ahead, he’s got plenty of time, and why is he so interested in moving only once-and-for-all anyway?

Over-planning, under-planning.

Lots of time, too little time.

Who would you be without the belief that there’s too much time, or too little time, when it comes to something in your life you care about deeply?

What if the story was instead that there is just the right amount of time?

Just the right amount of time with that person you once knew, just the right amount of time on that vacation, just the right amount of time struggling with your career, or being in that job, just the right amount of time waiting, just the right amount of time spent completing that project, or getting from here to there, just the right amount of time being alive on the planet?

“Confusion is when you argue with what is. When you’re perfectly clear, what is is what you want. So when you want something that’s different from what is, you can know that you’re very confused.” ~ Byron Katie

Turning thoughts about time around:

Woohoo! Planning happens, planning doesn’t happen, I get to consider planning since it’s entered my world through my friend, I can get ready, I don’t have to get ready, I don’t have to get it done, I don’t have to make good use of it, I’m not getting it finished, I’ll never get it finished, I absolutely do not have more than I have, and I don’t need more of it, life is just right however long or short it is, I write when I do, I send it out later.

“In reality, we are only ever given a moment of pain, and never more, although thought tries to project the pain into time, creating the story of ‘my past and future pain’, moving into the epic movie of ‘my lifelong struggle with pain.’ But life itself is only ever a moment, and we are always spared from time itself. Can we meet the raw life energy as it arises right now?” ~ Jeff Foster

Simply amazing, to be here spared from time.

Leaning into the life energy of this moment now.

Whether there’s a “deadline” or not, no matter what age you are, no wrong time, everything happening on time.

Much love, Grace

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So Much To Do? Rest Here Now

After a retreat, vacation, travel, or some special time of learning something unique and new there’s something people refer to as the after-workshop glow.

Today, as I slept in (crazy unusual for me) after late-night conversations, singing around the campfire outside, and three intense days in learning and connecting with others, I feel very excited about…..well, EVERYTHING.

And then there was a little thought, not unfamiliar, which said “but you don’t have very much time.”

Oh brother, not TIME again.

Can’t you give it a rest?

Do we have to be concerned with time, and how much or how little or the quality or the apparent endless scarcity of it?

Visions of what I need to and want to do float through my head, even as I’m lying in bed after sleeping so deeply and so long.

I need to put the final touches on Year of Inquiry which I’ll take applications for soon…it starts in September!

I need to arrange a very special retreat I’ve been thinking about putting together for awhile for a very small group because enough people have asked.

I need to get ready for this next month of Summer Camp for The Mind for everyone who wants to be in the July session!

Answer emails! Get some tech stuff in place on my website! Write to so-and-so! Replace my dresser in the bedroom! Finish that book!

I need to, I need to, I need to…

Oh boy. I know I’ve written about time and stressful beliefs about it before, but these thoughts sure are persistent and gripping.

Let’s look again, from a new angle.

Why do I need more time? Why do I want all those things done anyway?

The mind imagines that with all these things completed, there will be a moment in the future when nothing is required, when you can rest and feel peace.

But not now, because they aren’t done yet, right?

I can’t truly rest with all these things unfinished.

Is that true?

Yes. They are in the back of my mind. Even writing this Grace Note, I’m thinking just a little about what will happen after that, what I may have to set aside until later, how I can best use the afternoon, blah blah.

But can I absolutely know that it’s true that I can’t truly rest with all these things unfinished? I can’t enjoy and relax right here, now, even with a big to-do list?

No.

Instantly with that recognition that the answer is “no” I look up.

I see the room I’m sitting in. Books, window, beautiful gleaming wooden floor, sun coming through edge of window, power cord, full tea cup.

I feel this moment, this room. Even with a mind scampering around shouting about what needs to happen.

This body relaxes, I feel the center of it, something very quiet and dark and deep, that knows all is well and none of all that stuff even matters.

Something so funny about it!

Who would I be if I couldn’t even think the thought that I can’t rest until all these things are finished, or it’s going to be better later when they are?

I feel a deep gratitude, that this moment is all that is necessary.

There is no future moment when everything is done, unless there is, but none of that is necessary right now.

It’s so amazing how the mind conceives of the joy I will experience from the completion of all these events and activities, and what should happen soon….

….and then takes off without waiting to notice that things are also very, very well right here in THIS moment, now.

Even if you are in traffic and you’re supposed to be somewhere in five minutes that isn’t physically possible….

….instead of feeling anger at the other cars, the street, your condition, your situation, lack of time….

….what if you knew all was so perfectly in order, you couldn’t possibly adjust time to make it better for you. Because it’s good NOW, as it is. Unfinished.

I CAN truly rest with all these ideas, tasks, activities unfinished.

That is far, far more true. That is true in every moment.

WOW.

“Time is in the mind, space is in the mind. The law of cause and effect is also a way of thinking. In reality all is here and now and all is one. Multiplicity and diversity are in the mind only.The mind craves for formulations and definitions, always eager to squeeze reality into a verbal shape. A quiet mind is all you need. All else will happen rightly, once your mind is quiet. As the sun on rising makes the world active, so does self-awareness affect changes in the mind. In the light of calm and steady self-awareness inner energies wake up and work miracles without effort on your part.” ~ Nisargadatta Maharaj

I know in this moment, I would rather see what happens next without effort on the part of my mind.

Oh, look at that. This Grace Note is complete and only 35 minutes have passed….

….but by writing about these thoughts, awareness shines in me and my whole body is more relaxed.

It’s still morning, the sun is brighter, I hear a skateboarder ride by outside and birds calling.

Time, apparently, to stand up and go out.

Much love, Grace

P.S. If you’d like a taste of guided work with me (with you), so you sit still, do your work, join with others…then come on board for Summer Camp in July. Small group of truly incredible inquirers, ready to investigate thoughts that hurt. Only $97 for all the calls you can make (there will be seven during July). Click HERE to register.

 

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Not Having Enough Time and What To Do About It

The YOI Group is full. However, today at 8 am Pacific Time there is room for one more person to join the 8 week teleclass (you only need a phone, but you can use skype for free). Click here to register. Send me an email if you have questions: grace@workwithgrace.com.

If you miss the first class, you can listen to the recording and catch up.

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Meanwhile, back at the ranch, a stressful thought appeared.

I don’t have enough time. 

Now, I do realize that I’ve written about that mysterious, captivating, desirable entity before….called TIME.

But this is just a slightly different stressful thought we’re investigating today: “I don’t have enough” as opposed to “I need more”.

In our wonderful YOI 1 group currently underway, we are in month four…and our topic this month is Everyday Complaints.

We were all finding ourselves extremely funny, laughing as we shared the awareness of the constant stream of thoughts about things like Other Slow People at the shopping center.

Several members of the group noticed the complaint about time.

Dang it!!! Did you have to bring that up again?!

It seems like there’s a limited amount of time. And I have enough creations, adventures, people to meet, people to hang out with, experiences to have, things to finish…that require ten or fifty times the quantity of time than is actually available.

We’ll also sometimes have periods in our lives where we say: “there is too much time on our hands” or “too much time spent on x”.

Two sides of the same coin. Too much or not enough.

Too much time spent on the mundane, errand-running, survival tasks like acquiring food, taking care of the house, doing laundry.

Not enough time spent on spiritual awareness, meditation, learning, making money, intimacy with others.

The mind just loves to compare and contrast, or so it seems. (I can hear the narrative teacher voice for a school essay; “Shakespeare and Proust: Compare and Contrast”).

Flashes of what you need more time for, or less time spent doing, will speed through the mind, showing images as if from a deck of cards.

Look! Vacations! Retreats! Laughing! Fun! Happiness! Good times!

Look! Toil! Work! Boredom! Loss! Sadness! Bad times!

Are you sure you don’t have enough time though?

No. No idea really.

If you said yes, then ask yourself if you are absolutely positive that you don’t have enough?

How do you react when you believe that it’s obvious that you don’t have enough time?!

I personally feel all worked up. I’m running, on the inside. Heart beat is raised. I might even start getting freaked out.

I certainly remember this feeling, although I must admit I haven’t had it in quite awhile (but I’m willing)!

With the thought that I absolutely need more time for something, I’m almost panicked. I’m angry. I might snap at other people.

Outta my way! 

My whole mission, with that thought, is to grab as much as possible before the timer runs out. It’s a contest.

Me against the universal law of time. Me against What Is.

Ouchy. Life is not fun in those moments.

So who would you be without the thought that you do not have enough time?

I LOVE not having this belief!

So exciting! Whatever is right here, what has been, what is to come, is all surrounded and contained in Enough Time.

Can you imagine?

Nothing missing, nothing that should have happened, nothing that didn’t happen.

Nothing undone, nothing ended that shouldn’t have ended. Nothing spent that shouldn’t have been spent doing just that.

It’s a weird and wonderful state…very different from the other way of thinking, it seems.

Enough time with my dad? (but, he died so long ago)! Enough time to finish the dishes? (but, they’ll be here in 5 minutes)! Enough time to mail that paperwork? (but, it takes 5 days to get there)!

Yes!

How very, very exciting!

“This may not be empowering spiritual teachings….but everything has its time, everything has its place. The ego is not in control of what’s happening. Life is in control of what’s happening.” ~ Adyashanti

What is it like to let go entirely of the grip of feeling better when the tasks get done, when the journey isn’t finished and you thought you wanted to be there by now, when the accomplishment isn’t made yet?

You’d be here, now, enjoying this present situation and opening to the orientation that all is very well, whatever is finished or unfinished.

“Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. You don’t have to like it… it’s just easier if you do.” ~ Byron Katie

This includes picking up your kid, driving your other kid to the music lesson, signing the permission slip, remembering to transfer money from savings to checking, getting married, replying to the long email, washing the car, getting divorced, turning 50, saying goodbye to your best friend, waking up…..

……dying.

Love, Grace

Click Here to read about or register for the 8 week teleclass Turning Relationship Hell to Heaven. Room for one last person on Thursday mornings 8 am 9/12-11/7 (no class 10/10).

YOI 2 is full. Next one starts in January 2014!

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There’s Not Enough Time

August 10th Seattle: Mini Retreat 1:30 – 5:30 pm. A brief intro and plunge right in to The Work of Byron Katie. Start from scratch with beginner’s mind. End with new insight through investigation on any stressful situation you’ve ever encountered (you pick which one). Mental health professionals can earn 4 CEUs.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (picture tumbleweeds blowing across the wide open plains…the inner mind).

I noticed an old familiar tumbleweed this morning: I need more time!

Holy Moly this thought can be frustrating and definitely stressful.

I love investigating this thought, though, instead of just believing it and reacting to life with it totally entrenched in the mind.

What do I need more time for? Why do I need more time?

Well, GOSH! Of course I need to complete all the following items…yesterday:

  • I need to check and respond to emails
  • I need to read my class materials
  • I need to sit down and watch my training videos
  • I need to finish that book
  • I need to go to the library
  • I need to learn how to make a video
  • I need 75 minutes at the gym
  • I need to make those 4 phone calls
  • I need to buy those items at the Rite Aid
  • I need to finish my book on recovering from eating issues
  • I need to schedule my fall classes
  • I need to organize my calendar, my desk, my to-do list, my retreat plans, my hand-outs, my grocery store list, my bank statements, my bills….

It can go on and on.

And why do I actually need to do these things?

Because, because…I need to do them to succeed, to improve my life experience, to make more money, to avoid feeling needy in the future, to produce something meaningful, to feel happy and peaceful, to avoid forgetting about someone or something, to make sure my kids are safe and secure, to keep my health excellent, to gain knowledge, to rock the casbah.

It is truly incredible to enter the world of self-inquiry around all these kinds of things…the things we are apparently needing to do in order to be successful, healthy, happy and accomplished.

The list is endless! I could add so much more!

But do I really need to do that thing I think I need to do? Is it absolutely critical that I respond, call, email, schedule, buy, get, organize, finish that thing?

Sometimes people get really worried about who they would be without the thought “I need to do that.”

I might lie like a slug on the couch and waste my life away. I might never finish my book. I might never do anything of true value. I might have no purpose. I might not earn any money, I might never go to work, or go to the store. I’d be apathetic, lazy, boring, slow.

It would be depressing. I’d be a failure!

I can’t give up that thought! Even if it’s stressful!

Are you sure? Are you sure you’d be “wasting” time if you did nothing? Are you sure whatever you’re doing is “nothing”?

Are you sure that you’d even WANT to do “nothing” if you didn’t have the thought “I need to do something”?

Perhaps, like me, you can discover that without the belief that you have to do something, you actually find out that you LIKE doing some things, even things on your list.

Such as going to the gym.

I love my gym! So fun! (Except for when they replay the Van Halen Classics channel over and over…)

But it’s NOT wrong if you don’t like it, at all, its the way of it.

As I question “I need more time” over and over again (when it becomes stressful) I discover without the thought….I am here in this moment, with a mind that’s having fun thinking about stuff that can get accomplished, and I’m really not taking it all seriously.

There goes that Crazy Mind! With all it’s Crazy Ideas!

For some weird reason, even though I believe I’ve never eaten it, the ad for Trix Cereal comes into my mind sometimes from American TV when I was a kid. (Silly Wabbit, Trix Are For Kids!)

Silly Mind! Tricks Are For Kids!

Not taking the mind’s TO-DO list very seriously. That to-do accomplishment list is such a sneaky trick!

Making me think I need more time! Ha!

Turning it around, I do not actually need more time. I don’t need to “work” at all this.

My heart is beating, my lungs are breathing, my body is going from young to old on just the right trajectory.

Without my help.

There are enough hours and minutes in every day.

The quantity of time here on the planet is enough, from birth to death, from sun up to sun down, from point A to point B.

What if I simply lived that turnaround, instead of believing in Not Enough Time?

What would I be like if I walked around today, going about my business, in the grocery store, getting up in the morning, talking with my family…always believing that there is plenty of time?

Oooh boy, doesn’t that sound exciting?

Suddenly, here in this moment now, I feel very satisfied, trusting of the universe and the enough-ness of it all….being here, right now.

“Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time–past and future–the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Much Love, Grace

P.S. Money class starts July 11th now (not tomorrow). Join us!

  • Earning Money: What’s Your Problem? Questioning Your Beliefs About Money, Work and Business. Thursdays, July 11 – August 29, 2013, 5:15 – 6:45 pm Pacific time. 8 weeks $395. Register Here. 
  • Our Wonderful Sexuality: A Safe Place For Inquiry on Painful Thoughts About Sexuality. Fridays, July 12 – August 30, 2013 Noon – 1:30 pm Pacific time. 8 weeks $395. Register Here. 
  • Mini Retreats Seattle. Saturdays, 6/15, 8/10, 9/7, 10/12, 11/30, 2013, 1:30-5:30 pm. Goldilocks Cottage. $70 includes intensive, handouts, tea and snacks, $55 repeater rate.  Click here to register for mini-retreats:
  • Loving Your Body Breitenbush Hot Springs Retreat. June 26-30, 2013. For all the information please click HERE.