Tag: liberation

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A Mother’s Grip On Reality

My kids are driving me bonkers!  

A mom in Summer Camp Telecalls recently reminded me of my own early mom days. She wanted them to quiet down, so she could do The Work.

Kind of hilarious, the energy that wells up….“Be Quiet! I’m trying to question my thinking over here! JEEZ!”

When I had two very young ones, I was beyond thrilled to have these two amazing kids in my life. In fact, I was pretty blown away by the miraculous and bizarre way we all arrive here on planet earth.

But their presence in my world was also like a match that lit up whole entire inner buildings full of belief-systems about parenting, what “good” moms do, what “good” kids do, what “good” dads do, how kids should turn out.

I need to make sure these two kids feel safe, secure, happy, heard, important and valuable.

Right?

That means I should never be driven bonkers by them. I should be patient, kind, gentle and wise at all times.

24/7

In case you haven’t noticed…..it’s impossible.

But if you do The Work and question your thinking, you may be way more “sane” than you could ever dream of when it comes to your kids.

So let’s go.

Is it true that you should be a perfect mom, that it’s your job to support their confidence, success, and happiness in life?

If they aren’t happy….or if they bug you….do you really think it means that there’s something wrong with your parenting?

Well, no. I know there aren’t any perfect moms.

How do you react when you think you need to be the one who inspires and creates success and happiness in your kids’ lives….and they sometimes look pretty upset?

I feel anxious, sad, worried. Wondering how their future will turn out. Playing out future possibilities.

Not staying right here in the present.

But who would you be without the thought? Without the belief that you need to help them, support them, make sure they know they are valuable, happy, safe, comfortable?

Whew. Now that is a relief.

Lots of moms and dads will think that if they let go of the belief that they are responsible for their kids, they won’t even care.

They’ll be neglectful, and wrong.

But can you know that this is even true?

“How do you react when you believe the thought that you need to protect your children, and in reality they’re perfectly fine without your protection?….You got through your difficulties, so what leads you to believe that they aren’t at least as capable and courageous as you are? What leads you to believe that they have fewer survival skills than you do?” ~ Byron Katie

Turning the thoughts around: I’m driving myself bonkers! I need to make sure I myself feel safe, secure, happy, heard, important and valuable.

Because I am, and so are you.

Every human is worthy, safe, secure, happy, heard, important and valuable.

We can feel this for ourselves. We don’t need a mother or father to tell us…..not really.

“A mother’s grip on reality is a wonderful thing.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love, Grace

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Breitenbush Sold Out (With One Exception)

Wow, Breitenbush Annual Retreat in The Work of Byron Katie is FULL….except for people who want to stay in a deluxe tent platform open-air space, or a dorm.

The pros? Incredibly inexpensive, you still get all those exquisite healthy meals, access to all the hotsprings natural pools, and of course, you’ll attend our deep sessions in The Work to Declare Peace.

The cons? You bring your sleeping bag and set yourself up like someone going on a spirit quest walkabout in the deep forest. With hotsprings nearby, and showers heated by the springs.

If that’s for you, call Breitenbush soon and join our awesome group taking the deep sea dive into the internal world of inquiry, questioning all your painful stories, and turning your mind inside out (in a good way) by contemplating what is really true for you.

That last spots will go very soon. If you have special questions about anything Breitenbush, call me (206-650-1230). I can’t answer every logistical thing because Breitenbush does all the registration and administrative stuff. But I can tell you of my experience.

Funny, but that’s all any of us can ever really do if we’ve visited somewhere and someone else asks to know what it was like.

Including the world of freedom from stress, sadness, anger or pain. The peace found beyond believing what you think.

Last year, before I went to Bali with my husband on our honeymoon, I read about Bali, I heard from people who had been to Bali, I saw pictures of Bali, I got recommendations of where to stay and what to see.

But nothing was the same as actually being there.

You can’t really get the feel of any place entirely, just by learning about it.

I could even see a film of Bali (which I did, when looking at a bike-ride adventure for a day with a touring company). I could read guidebooks (I got about ten from the library). I saw the personal photos from a good friend from his trip with his family.

Everything brought it closer: film, pictures, stories from others, words.

But NOTHING was like being there. From the moment of getting off the airplane, there were smells, sights, colors, temperature, sounds of all kinds.

It was like diving into the lake, when before, someone told me about what it was like to swim there.

Even if I had entered a 3-D hologram sort of scene of Bali (I heard recently that there are bird-tweets programmed into the speakers in the ground at Disneyland) it might have been fun, but not quite REAL.

You know what I’m talkin’ about!

Understanding your own mind, your own experience of being alive, how you react, and who you’d be without your stressful thoughts….you have to experience it for yourself.

Even if you can’t make it to Breitenbush in Oregon in the United States and you are across the world (maybe you’re in gorgeous Bali, I met some awesome Grace Notes readers there) you can support your own inner journey by making your environment ideal.

You can do The Work, you can see what you’re thinking, you can stop, question, and hold still and look around.

Then….FEEL your environment, feel who you are, feel all of you, beyond your thoughts and perceptions.

“This Work is meditation. It’s like diving into yourself.Contemplate the questions, drop down into the depths of yourself, listen, and wait. The answer will find your question. The mind will join the heart, no matter how closed down or hopeless you think you are…..You may begin to experience revelations about yourself and your world, revelations that will transform your whole life, forever.” ~ Byron Katie

This has been true for me. It has transformed my whole life.

This life of understanding the mind, thinking, thoughts, beliefs, un-believing, not knowing, mystery, enlightenment….

….what a stunning adventure.

We’re all on the same journey of freedom, we all love freedom soooo much!

And in the end, you don’t need to move your body anywhere to take this journey. It’s real, and real can be to be exactly where you are.

Well…maybe a fake bird call here and there (an untrue thought)…but you’ve got what it takes to know what’s real. Phew!

“I came to see that the world is always as it should be, whether I opposed it or not. And I came to embrace reality with all my heart. I love the world, without any conditions.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love, Grace

P.S. Summer Camp for The Mind coming June, July and August. Only $97 per month with live telecalls and a private membership site. Do The Work with others, only using your phone or computer. You really DON’T have to leave your home for summer camp!