Questioning Angry Thoughts About The J-O-B!

moneyinthesky
Reaching too hard for money? Question your thinking, relax about money.

I’m excited for this coming Money Soul Sunday. Come join me if you want to do the work on money.

Suggested donation for 3 Sundays for 9-11 am Pacific Time inquiry sessions is $33 – $99 for one, two or three weeks, come to any or all.

If you’re having trouble with paying, it’s OK….just write to me by hitting reply.

Every session will be recorded and sent to anyone who wants this work.

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You might know my dreaded story of losing money, wanting money, obsessing about money, being so discouraged about money I could hardly handle it (but apparently, I did).

It felt soooooooo horrible at the time.

It even felt horrible AFTER the time.

I would remember the anxiety, like I was holding my breath, wondering constantly from month to month if I could pull the house payment together.

My kids were eligible for free meals at school.

I could have gone on food stamps, but was too proud to start the process.

I would dress in my power suit, and go to interviews. At least 20 once I really started pounding the pavement.

Many times, I was a finalist. I had never had such a strange “losing” streak with one person getting hired over me in the final decision.

Except.

Here’s the weird thing.

That whole pins-and-needles time of wondering what would happen every day with money, I had a secret.

I tried to smash it down and hide it and change it and bury it in the ground and fix myself.

My secret?

I did NOT WANT TO WORK at a J-O-B.

Seriously, I was so angry at the system, so bored in past jobs, feeling like a loser, and not having gotten the right education, and having let myself become dependent in a marriage, and not actually being all that interested in ANY companies or organizations.

Plus let’s not even get started on my feelings about the “nothing” I had to offer.

My self-esteem was so trashed….

….I never felt genuine and authentic in any single interview.

But a part of my process, at that time, was to begin to do The Work in earnest on not only money, but on work. Having a boss, co-workers, commutes, break rooms, cubicles.

I really had some negative ideas about “work”.

Did you notice I called work….which is really the very dynamic (and often fun, and challenging) experience of offering services and expertise in exchange for participating in an organizational community….

….a J-O-B like it was a swear word??

I hated the thought of someone “controlling” me and bossing me around, and expecting me to act certain ways.

I thought it would mean I was being suppressed, imprisoned, and enslaved.

Phew.

That was some rough and stressful thinking!

Thank goodness I recognized the stress and started asking myself….

….who would I be without the belief that getting a job was like going to prison and conforming to an office-building environment, forever?

Ha ha, I laugh at myself now.

Because without the belief, I noticed I felt excited about work.

And after I questioned my thoughts about jobs, I started getting more interested in the job hunt. At the very same time as people started asking me to facilitate them for sessions in The Work.

I got a part time job, not a full time one, through a weird series of circumstances. Which was perfect because it gave me time to work with more clients at home.

And at my new part time job, I loved the people, the interesting new problems, the communication challenges, my beautiful fancy office chair, the conference rooms with stunning views of the lake below, and excellent health insurance.

I loved the meetings, the really incredible professionals I met, the watching, learning, hearing and learning mega details about medicine and treatments I would never have learned in a million years normally, outside of medical school.

I practically miss that job, it was so cool.

Wow.

I never could have imagined actually becoming generally comfortable, feeling like I belonged, at a J-O-B.

Thank goodness for The Work.

It helped me turn my entire attitude towards finding jobs and earning money around to making it more like “play” in my reality.

Well….OK, that might be getting a little carried away (the word play) but it certainly wasn’t so “hard” all the time.

It was not positive thinking or trying to have a positive attitude, it was actually seeing it for real. A wonderful place to be for certain times during the week, with pretty awesome people.

If you’re upset about work, or unemployment, or co-workers, or commuting, or paychecks, or raises, or anything you do in your experience of money….

….question your thinking, change your world.

“I’ve never seen a work or money problem that didn’t turn out to be a thinking problem. I used to believe that I needed money to be happy. Even when I had a lot, I was often sick with the fear that something terrible would happen and I would lose it. I realize now that no amount of money is worth that kind of stress.” ~ Byron Katie

We’ll be doing this on May 10, May 17, May 24. Join me!

Much love,
Grace

I Hate My Job Nightmares

The free telecall on doing The Work of Byron Katie on Money is tomorrow morning at 8:30 am pacific time. It will run about 90 minutes (maybe a little more).

Click here if you’d like to go to the link. It will ask you to enter your email but you’re already on this mailing list so you won’t be double-subscribed. You can listen in on the web, or dial in using your phone. You’ll see the phone number once you get to the web page.

All this technical detail!

I created slides to follow along to show during the session tomorrow…but lordy, all the links and computer stuff took some heavy learning.

Have you ever noticed that when you’re working on creating something, or learning a new skill, or practicing an instrument to get better….you can have all kinds of internal thoughts about it?

It’s like there’s The Voice watching on your shoulder, commenting.

“Oh, that was a good move! I think you finally got it! No…that was a mistake. Can’t you remember what you just went over a few minutes ago? Why can’t you find that web page? Because you’re a ding-a-ling! You need to pay closer attention! Someone should be helping you. Have you checked how long you’re spending on this? Hours. You don’t have time for this. It’ll be a miracle if this actually works. Why are you doing this again?…”

Fortunately, even though the chatterbox is running…I didn’t believe the thoughts to such a level that I stopped the activity.

All it takes is a little believing….and even the most aware, conscious person can start feeling disappointed, nervous, anxious, irritated, scared…

….and all kinds of behaviors come out of these stressful feelings!

Like quitting! Or waiting! Or proscratinating!

When I was 23, I got a job for a summer that appeared to be highly desirable. I had to get recommendations, and there was a long application form to fill out by hand. I would be in a national park all summer.

It sounded exotic and wonderful, like a good plan in what otherwise I was totally unsure of doing when I was actually at college.

I arrived during an early summer afternoon, to report to staff training the next morning. I unpacked all my summer belongings. I had a bunk bed and another girl from the east coast would be on the top bunk, tomorrow.

My alarm clock went off at 5:30 am. We had to start at 6. I followed along various trainers all day in working in the kitchen, setting tables, cleaning.

And then, in the afternoon, I was asked my age. “Oh, you can wait tables, and serve alcohol! We’ll train you in that this evening.”

The huge lodge was very elegant.

I felt a leap of fear in my chest.

I didn’t bring clothes to wear for waiting tables. I don’t know how to do that. It’s too hard. I can’t do it right. That sounds like a terrible way to spend the summer. 

Within the next five hours, my inner alarm bells were sounding so loud, as I was being trained for this horrifying job of being in the gorgeous, busy lodge.

That night…before my new roommate arrived, before anyone could see me or stop me…I gathered all my stuff, packed it in my car, and drove away.

Yes, it’s true. I was too scared to work as a waitress.

Later, I realized the opportunity and how much more money in tips I would have made than the original job I had been hired for.

Too bad I didn’t know how to question my thoughts that something was going to be too difficult, for whatever reason.

Who would I have been without the thought that it’s too hard, or that I might be rejected, or that I could do it wrong, or that it’s too frightening to try it, or that I won’t do it as well as someone else?

I would be very simply moving, even in tiny baby steps, flowing easily, resting, moving, learning, doing the next thing…present.

“The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment: You create a good future by creating a good present.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Back then, I created a completely emergency-oriented terrified, unwilling present moment. Ha!

I also did the best I could, keeping myself very safe. Such a sweet little nervous ninny I was.

So sure it was true that I could make a mistake, that I wouldn’t be good at something, that it was going to be painful.

“In the beginning was the Tao. All things issue from it; all things return to it. To find the origin, trace back the manifestations. When you recognize the children and find the mother, you will be free of sorrow. If you close your mind in judgments and traffic with desires, your heart will be troubled. If you keep your mind from judging and aren’t led by the senses, your heart will find peace.” ~ Tao Te Ching #52

Turning the thoughts around, could they be just as true, or truer, than the original thoughts?

I am doing it right now, I am safe, I am not rejected, I can learn, this is not too hard, I can say yes and no, I can say I don’t understand, there are no mistakes, I can be good at anything I want to be good at.

Like earning money.

With Love, Grace

When Your Job Doesn’t Feel Like A Vacation

It is incredible to see how many people think about jobs, work, and activity that brings in money as a trap.

One big prison sentence of having to figure out what to do to earn money, find a job, and then trade services, time and energy for pay.

You give them your time, effort, expertise…and you don’t get to live your life freely! You can’t do what you want to do!

You’re workin’ for THE MAN! (Clenched fist).

Not long ago a man I was facilitating in The Work around his small business was talking about the 99% (the slogan used in the US addressing the disparity between the ultra rich 1% and then everyone else).

He was talking about how so many people are ripped off, never can get ahead.

He said he noticed how most people are part of the rat race and he said how sad that so many people hate their jobs.

It reminded me of myself and my past view of work and business, that I was FORCED by society to make an income, that I HAD to have a job.

I once had the same attitude about work, corporations, paychecks, that “they” are controlling my vacation time, and sick leave and the whole shebang.

When I had one job, around age 24 (my first after college) I dreamed about being somewhere better, of not having to go to work Monday through Friday.

I complained internally about HAVING to DRIVE to work when I’d rather STAY HOME. So many things to do, read, learn…..and work was a big interruption.

I did not have The Work back then, a way to practice personal self-inquiry with clarity.

Thank goodness I still found so much that I actually liked about that job. I met friends there, for example, who became friends for my entire life….really deep wonderful friendships.

But having a global attitude towards work and jobs spelling trouble, of jobs being “hard” or unsatisfying, can really leave a person stuck.

I remember a moment in my distant past where I was on my way to my office job in the big huge city I lived in, frustrated that I “had” to go.

It’s helpful to see what was really wrong with having to go, what I believed I was missing, what was most annoying.

  • its better if you get to do whatever you want all day long
  • having a schedule is a burden
  • I want to be doing “x” instead (watching movies, playing music, reading, sleeping, hanging out with my children)
  • my job is boring
  • I can’t quit this job because I need the money
  • its too hard to find another job
  • there’s no time for creativity, fun, joy in my day
  • they run my life (the employer, the supplier of the funds)

My perception of work in so many ways was that it was an imposition. 

The concept my client questioned was part of that field: I would rather be on vacation. 

It seemed really true.

Vacation vs working on the business non-stop day and night? Duh! Of course that’s true!

Are you sure?

Are you sure you want to change the channel, get out of this supposed “non-stop” experience of working, and be on vacation, whatever that actually IS?

Is vacating really such a draw? (I personally find sitting on a beach with a cold drink interesting for about 30 minutes).

As I facilitated this thoughtful client through his frustration with trying to run a little business, he discovered that often, he knew what it was like to live without the thought “I would rather be on vacation”. 

He only had that thought when he felt exhausted, tense, unable to let go of the outcome of his day.

Without the thought that he’d rather be somewhere else relaxing, he relaxed. He slowed down.

He noticed that he actually had a big and rather puzzling project in front of him: how to become successful, how to make the money flow more easily, how to serve more people, how to have fun while doing it all, how to love his work life.

He LIKED that project, even though sometimes he felt frustrated with it because he had to learn so much that was new.

The full turnaround opposite to the thought is “I would rather be here, doing this work, having my day, being myself, creating, building, generating”.  

I love finding examples of this turnaround for myself, sitting with them, feeling them, imagining them to be as true as the original stressful beliefs:

  • I am doing what I want, I feel passion, joy and focus in my business, I have purpose, excitement
  • having a schedule is huge freedom, I don’t have to think about it, I’m in service
  • Every single thing I think I’m missing, I already do: watch movies, play music, read, sleep, hang out with my children, rest
  • my job is very exciting, my job is being me, wherever I am
  • I don’t need money to have a happy life, I don’t need a vacation to have a happy life
  • its very easy to find new work, job, ideas
  • there’s great possibility for finding creativity, fun, joy in my day
  • they run my life (the employer, the supplier of the funds) and I’m so grateful!

“Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience; taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them.” ~ Byron Katie

What if I can find happiness in whatever my status, job, position, work environment?

Wherever I am, whatever I do, whatever is going on?

“Use that opportunity of a diminished sense of self-worth and self-image, and step beyond. Then, perhaps, you’ll find a job – but your sense of worth no longer depends on what you do there, or what you don’t do, or achieve or don’t achieve. You will find some transcendence, and you can bring that transcendence into your next job. The clinging to mental images is not there anymore. You’ll be surprised how well you’ll do, in your next job, when the clinging to images isn’t there anymore.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

If you have thoughts about being unfulfilled, or wanting more vacation, question your thinking.

You may find fulfillment right here, right now.

And all you ever wanted in a vacation.

Love, Grace