Tag: get it done

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There are two ways to live this summer; one is loving what is, the other is to be at war with it.

Speaking of summer camp, I’m off to Breitenbush for the annual retreat there.

Time out for really digging in to The Work. No tasks, chores, laundry, admin, cooking, or doing anything else with the exception of coming to three gatherings each day with sincere people deepening self-inquiry, together.

In some ways…it’s not exactly “retreat” as we tend to call these times away.

It’s a “charge!” 

(As the brilliant Stephen Jenkinson, one of my favorite mentors and authors, likes to say about group gatherings filled with questioning out loud).

I notice both Retreat and Charge seem to come from war references, as many of our communications do.

Funny to consider when we go on “retreat” that it’s our daily regular normal life we’re retreating from. We get away from it like it’s the front line, then regroup, plan, assess, rest, reset…and head back to the life.

If we think of our time away as a “Charge!” (a turnaround) then this fits for me when it comes to The Work.

As Byron Katie says herself: ‘I call it The Work because….it’s work.’

The other day I found myself having some defeated thoughts about the moment. Another “war” term, I notice, in this word “defeated”.

I felt tired, like doing very little, yet the mind was commenting about how if I give up I’ll never cross the finish line.

“Go, Go, Go!” shouts the mind. Never stop! Give it your all! Do the thing!

What finish line? Good grief.

So today, noticing the thoughts or sounds in the mind that suggest there’s something to fight, win, push against, grasp for, beat, crush, give-it-your-all, finish.

And noticing they are not ever true, not forever, not even now.

There are five birds in my cherry tree right outside my window, eating my cherries.

Those are MY cherries. The birds shouldn’t be eating them! Fight the birds!

Is that true?

LOL.

Who would I be without the thought I “have to” make them go away. I “have to” do the thing. I “have to” keep my nose to the grindstone. I “have to” get it done.

I’d be laughing.

This really is an incredible amusing, joy-filled life with craziness and zaniness and misery and cherry-eating-birds and lists that are never quite done.

And, I notice, time for doing something that shouts, gleefully….CHARGE!!! Then other moments that say RETREAT.

Without attacking anything or needing to go to war about any of This, or seeing any of what happens day to day as a problem. Simply questioning stressful stories. And loving life.

Turning it all around: No one has to do anything, or make anything happen, or accomplish, push, grab, press, finish, or get anything done, or stop birds from eating cherries.

Could that be just as true or truer?

Well it’s certainly entertaining and exciting, for me, to notice the examples I see in the world of this being true.

I notice there are at least five species and sizes of birds out there pecking and hopping and flying and eating away. Plus a squirrel.

What entertainment!

“Who would you be without the thought you want him to get up and do something more constructive? [And you can do this on wanting yourself to be more constructive.] There are two ways to live this out; one is loving what is, and the other is to be at war with it.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love,

Grace

P.S. I made a video on facebook about doing The Work on FEAR and what I’ve found very helpful for starters when wanting to question and understand anxiety-producing, or very traumatic and fearful events. Watch HERE. Leave a comment or question and “like” the page if you haven’t already.

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Hiya Hiya! Crack The Whip!

There are 13 books piled on my bed next to me, some open, some closed with bookmarks, the laptop with a document for notes and then a word document for final curriculum both open, plus another pdf I’ve been reading from a different author.

I’ve been working for 3 hours without really moving. I see emails come in a scan them if they’re quick, and reply.

My daughter comes into the house and calls “Hi mom!” and I exit the bedroom, needing a stretch break. She brings in the mail…more items to take care of.

I’m thinking….quick quick quick. I’ll get back there in a few minutes and get somewhere, continue.

Oh, and dishes. And laundry and more Holds to pick up from the library that I NEED (these things I happen to need help with right now due to crutches situation) and some necessary groceries.

The ticker tape spins. Just a little too fast now.

You know that To-Do Voice that sees what needs to get done and then realizes with fury that it can not be done, will not get done. I may have to drop what I’m working on and get to the other thing.

Quick, you only have 1 hour 45 minutes until the next class!!

Hiya! Hiya!!!! (That’s supposed to be the sound of a rider with a whip trying to get his horse to go As Fast As Possible.)

Stop.

Is it true that there is too much, and it will never get done, and that I neeeeeeeeeeed to get it done, and that there’s not enough time, and, and, and….?

No.

How do I react when I believe that thought?

The feeling inside is frantic buzzing across the chest and in the throat. Not breathing deeply. Mad. Ignoring other interests. Sort of irritable with the phone ringing.

Stop.

Who would I be without the thought that something needs to happen here that hasn’t happened yet? That something needs to get done?

Without any thought of this at all. Like I’m visiting from another planet….and my space ship leave in 1 hour 45 minutes. I’m here to look around.

Nothing to Get Done.

Nothing to complete, wrap up, finish, push, force.

I turn the thoughts around: I do NOT need to keep going, or get this done. I have unlimited time.  

Almost unbelievable. But this is playing in duality, leaning over into the opposite of the way my mind is running.

Yes. I can drop whatever task it is that I am attached to. I can move with the flow. Relax.

“There’s no merit gained through wasted effort, through excess struggle. There are no merit points for the people who drove themselves the craziest along the way to self-realization. For most people it’s so obscure that it seems very intuitive to grasp and to struggle instead of relaxing, not grasping, letting something come to you, letting the truth of your being reveal itself to you on its terms, in its way, letting it happen…..It will happen. It’s always happening. It’s always trying to show itself.” ~ Adyashanti

Relaxing, not grasping, letting it come to me?

Letting the day, the pace of all this, this person here now, noticing a clock, and time, and tasks….letting it all be the way it is. Nothing required.

Taking a very deep breath. Hearing my daughter pick up the ukelele and sing.

“There’s a perfect order running. I’m a lover of what is. Who would I be without my story? Without my story, in this very moment, is where God and I are one. There’s no separation, no decision or fear in it. It just knows. And that’s who we are without our plans.” ~ Byron Katie

Love,  Grace

 

 

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What To Do If You Believe You Have To Get It Done

Have you ever had the experience of not being able to rest when some future event is coming?

….like a long-awaited vacation, an important presentation to a group, the launch of a new business program, throwing a dinner party, writing a book, your kids starting school.

There’s an event coming. It’s kinda exciting. Maybe it’s wildly thrilling!

You want everything to be perfect.

Just the other day I had the privilege of working with an inquirer who noticed that she was getting sort of riled up about the in-laws coming to visit.

Suddenly, she needed to clean her house from top to bottom so it sparkled.

It wasn’t fun. She felt irritable. Her to-do lists were long and never-ending.

As I sit here on my couch in my little cottage, and glance up at the room between typing words, I can find the part of my mind that does the same thing, exactly the same thing.

There are some kind of white crumbs in a little clump on the carpet. The grass in the back yard that I can see through the kitchen glass doors (which have smudges along the edges) needs to be cut, and there are some dandelions invading.

I’ve got the perfect view of the area under the island chopping block in the kitchen that has dust, crumbs, and what looks like grease or something right under it.

The environment looks imperfect.

With these eyes, I remember looking at everything this way: my job has too long a commute, I need to do more weight-bearing exercise, I should have gotten a PhD after my Master’s degree, I’ll never speak French fluently, my grandpa didn’t teach me enough about business and money, I wish my dad had lived longer, I want to be enlightened.

These eyes are still here seeing, but when this view is questioned, then I noticed there is no grip or stress following the thought that whatever I’m seeing should be improved.

How odd.

No demand that I need to move-it-move-it, go to the store, start writing, make the call, finish the project, meditate for an hour, print out the form, get the vacuum.

But if I’m not worried, or active, or aware of that upcoming deadline…if I don’t get organized and send the proposal, buy the school supplies, sign that document…then life will be hard, sad, disappointing!

I’ll be a failure if I don’t get it done! Someone else will think I’m a failure if I don’t get it done!

I have to fix it! Or die trying!

“The French doors have been left open, and this big, simple-hearted golden retriever bolts through the doors, leaps the fence, and plunges into the water, in hot pursuit of ducks….The next day, I see muddy paw prints across the otherwise spotless floors, and my heart melts. As I clean the floors, the love that I experience for this animal is huge. I know what the prints are for. They connect me to my granddog and to my son and to the lightheartedness of the animal world, and I love that I am that.” ~ Byron Katie

Who would I be without the thought that I need to get things done, improve the situation, or fix it?

Weird, right?

When I first did this inquiry, I imagined that without the thought that I need to get on it and accomplish stuff, that I would never getting off the couch. Never doing anything. Never going to the gym. Never clean the dishes. Never return anyone’s phone call. Never meditate.

But that’s not what happened.

Without the thought that I have to do something, or get somewhere, I look up and around, I see more that’s here, right now. I smile inwardly.

As I do the dishes, I remember my grandma who they once belonged to, and think of my cute daughter who left this plate and fork in the sink.

I see the piles of papers and books on my own dresser and feel appreciation for such a fascinating person that I am that I want to accumulate so much material in the form of written words.

As I see my husband’s things collected on his dresser I see how much he reminds me of a bear, gathering stuff and setting it where he can see it, or storing it in boxes and putting it in the cave (the storage shed). So adorable.

Turning the belief around that I need to finish, complete, fix, accomplish, clean, wake up, or get something done…

…I sit with this idea that I do not need to do any of that.

“When we perceive from an undivided consciousness, we will find the sacred in every expression of life. We will find it in our teacup, in the fall breeze, in the brushing of our teeth, in each and every moment of living and dying.” ~ Adyashanti

Even just to get a taste of imagining that the turnaround is as true or truer, that I do not HAVE TO do anything, is sublime.

I don’t have to go clean under the kitchen chopping block, I don’t have to vacuum those white crumbs right now, I don’t have to stop writing, I don’t have to meditate, read, finish, “work on” whatever.

Just to even think of this idea, that you don’t HAVE TO. Test it, entertain it, see what you think about that.

It’s OK if you’re not too sure that would work very well. All it is, is an idea.

Could it be that all is well, alive, pulsing, moving without ME being involved?

Perhaps it is all imperfect and flawed and messy and chaotic and mysterious…. and that is absolutely wonderful, the way it is.

Which sort of winds up making everything seem…well…perfect.

Love, Grace

Click Here to read about or register for the 8 week teleclass Turning Relationship Hell to Heaven. Still room for two on Thursday mornings 8 am 9/12-11/7 (no class 10/10).