Tag: freedom

Posted on

True freedom: feeling the answer to this question

A friend of mine and I were talking closely.

These are the kinds of conversations I love, and seem to have on a regular basis–not just with clients questioning thought, but with others journeying on the path of life as well.

“What if you got your arms and legs cut off, would you still be you?”

Of course!

I’d be me, maybe a little traumatized, but I’d be “me”. I might be someone who had gone through a huge transformation, never to be the same again.

But still with all my memories, my childhood, my personality, the Enneagram 5 and INFP on the Myers Briggs personality test. I’d recall the times I could walk and hold a pencil and even what those felt like probably.

“So if you got your head cut off….how ’bout that? Would you still be you?”

LOL.

Except, this is a fantastic question.

I mean….?

We usually believe that without our minds, we aren’t ourselves. If someone loses all their memories, or has brain damage, or is in a coma, they aren’t themselves anymore. Right?

But are we our minds? Our thoughts? Our memories?

Woah.

This is related to the fascinating and contemplative fourth question in The Work of Byron Katie: Who would you be without your story? Who would you be without your stressful thought? Who, or what, would you BE without all that energy focusing on danger, worry, sadness, upset?

Who would you be now in this moment, if you couldn’t reference the past or the future, or make comparisons, or judge something as Good or Bad?

It’s almost like the mind itself, which is the one pondering that question apparently, says…..I don’t know. 

What else could it say?

Who would I be without a head?

I don’t know.

Kind of hilarious, though, to consider.

I can imagine two ways I might contemplate this question. One is without life. As if my head has been cut off (original question). In that case, I certainly no longer exist as that individual life. There was a me, if anyone remembers it, but whatever “I” am is one big I-don’t-know. A mystery no one ever knows, until we die.

The other option is with life. That is, I am still functioning as a living entity, and human body that’s called “alive” but I have no believable mind. No thoughts, sight, hearing, smell or taste. Heart is still pumping. Life force or body intact. Just no “head” in the sense of the head being the center of thinking energy.

Without the head in full operation, or the brain doing what it seems to do, I notice what’s left is feeling. Touch. Sensation. Aliveness, all by itself.

An openness is left. I don’t believe it is a certain way, without question.

I notice things are OK in this moment, with this deepest sensation of feeling, sensing the pulse of life, not knowing for sure about what anything means.

Why is this so appealing?

You can only find out by trying it. Sitting still and feeling, and noticing what’s here if you didn’t have a busy, stressed-out, upset mind?

“We suffer because we overlook the fact that, at heart, we are all right.” 
~ Douglas E. Harding, On Having No Head

“This is true freedom: a mind that is no longer deceived by itself.” ~ Byron Katie

That one thing you’ve been so bothered by today? Take a moment to wonder who you’d be without your thoughts and beliefs about it.

Just a moment of deep breath. Being.

Much love,
Grace

 

Posted on

Something opens our wings….summer inquiry

Holy smokes, it’s only just over a month until a huge time of opportunity for inquiry gets underway, in TWO different formats. I’ll tell you about them (I highly recommend both) in a minute.

But first, I wanted to share something sort of funny about The Work with me.

Early in my practice of learning The Work, I knew I had great insight when doing it, even after attending the School for The Work.

But. It’s a little weird (though it turns out, not as uncommon as you think). I wouldn’t do it!

I’d think, can’t I just do it in my head? Or maybe quick out loud, while I’m driving? Do I really have to follow the steps and write things down?

I’ll get to it later.

Ugh, it’s so much….WORK.

And I’d find, over and over again, it was never deep and life-shifting until I took it slowly and followed the simple directions: Judge Your Neighbor, Write It Down, Ask Four Questions, Turn It Around.

There is nothing like actually doing The Work as a regular practice in your life to assure you clean your mental slate, reduce or dissolve your stressful thinking, and make inner shifts you may never have thought possible.

What do I mean by “doing” when it comes to The Work?

It sounds simple, but it’s definitely not easy.

People tell me all the time, they feel upset, or nervous, or bad….but they don’t really know why.

This process helps you know why, and then to question, or un-do that knowing.

Like pulling a very stubborn weed out by the roots.

I hope you’ll consider joining me for this summer season blitz of The Work. I’m available almost daily live via telesessions, and we join together with a group of awesome folks.

The good news? It’s all come-when-you-can and low fee season, and a time of fun and sharing and simplicity.

Kinda like summer.

The first event coming up for diving into the great ocean of inquiry is joining together with others to share a retreat called Being With Byron Katie for four whole days! We will be watching the event streamed live on a large flat screen in a lovely house in Seattle, and holding complete silence in between viewing sessions (which is the same as the in-person participants with Katie will be doing in Switzerland).

Yes, you can come for the weekend or one-day only (same low fee of $185) and watch what you miss via recording until September 30th for no extra.

Our silent event Being With Byron Katie begins on Saturday, July 8th at 9:00 am and ends Tuesday, July 11th around 9:00 pm. Find out all the details here, including information about how to reserve your overnight stay in Seattle (but commuters are entirely welcome) at our retreat site house, rented just for us. We’re starting to fill, so good to join us soon.

Some people travel from other states, or fly, to attend Being With Byron Katie in Seattle. ITW candidates can earn 24 credits for an in-person Katie event at the end (ask me how if you’re interested).

The morning following the Being With Byron Katie event, we’ll have an optional 90 minute session for Q & A for those with special questions, from 9-10:30 am on Wednesday July 12th as a part of the event. Several certified facilitators will be on hand to support you. Anyone is welcome if you’re registered for Being With Byron Katie. We’ll meet at the same house where we’re viewing the program.

Staying in The Silence

“I could never, ever, ever be quiet on my own in the same way this 4 day retreat offered me the structure of silence. I never did anything like this before, and it was amazing. I feel like I just got to be on a real retreat with Byron Katie, otherwise prohibitive for me financially. Thanks for making this possible. Can’t wait until next year.” ~ Participant 2016

Next….your chance to REALLY DO The Work as a regular practice:

Summer Camp for The Mind! 

I’m so excited people started signing up for Summer Camp before I even announced it this year.

Summer Camp for The Mind is a virtual group experience where people dial-in to the same conference line (audio only–you can be on your car or puttering around doing laundry if you’re in listen-only mode).

People volunteer to “go” and I give everyone turns who are interested in doing The Work with me out loud. Everyone listens as the volunteer does their work, doing THEIR own work through the listening. There’s some time for feedback and sharing and insight after every stressful thought questioned. Again, you can share, or listen-only.

This is a loose, simple format. Meaning, there are no requirements or expectations. Except to enter into self-inquiry and share the process with others. Show up when you want, leave when you need to.

It’s funny how people won’t even know one another, and may be from different continents, yet they meet, grow familiar with each other’s voices, and even stay in touch. Not long ago, someone shared with me they’ve been doing The Work with a Summer Camp for The Mind participant as a one-on-one facilitation partner since 2015 and not planning on stopping anytime soon.

Summer Camp for The Mind is also  a very inexpensive way to jump in to a more organized scheduled intention doing The Work. The fee is sliding scale range ($150-$500 suggested) and we meet almost daily from July 12-August 18 with a 3 hour mini-retreat to kick off Summer Camp. There are TWO options for the kick-off mini retreat Opening Day to Summer Camp. The first is Weds morning 8-11 am Pacific Time July 5th, the second option is Thursday afternoon July 5th 5:30-8:30 pm PT. Choose one, and come along for learning, listening and doing The Work together.

When you sign up for Summer Camp, come to one session, or all of them. It’s up to you.

I also strongly encourage anyone who is interested in Year of Inquiry, (and I know there are many this year since it’s now worth multiple credits in the Institute for The Work), to sign up for Summer Camp. The whole current Year of Inquiry (YOI) group is included in Summer Camp as a part of their final two summer months of YOI.

These participants are courageous, smart, and experienced. They’ve been in Year of Inquiry since last September, and maybe longer if they’re a regular YOI participant (some repeat annually). What a treat to join with them, along with all the inquirers, sharing this profound time together, to get this work done.

Can’t wait for this summer inquiry jam to begin. For more information head over here.

“For thousands of years we’ve been told not to judge–but let’s face it, we do it all the time. We all have judgments running in our heads. Through The Work we finally have permission to let those judgments speak out, or even scream out, on paper. We may find that even the most unpleasant thoughts can be met with unconditional love.” ~ Byron Katie

But even if you never sign up for a paid program doing The Work of Byron Katie…you can “do” The Work even today, right now.

Start by writing down your stressful thoughts. Get them down in writing.

Now, they can’t slip away from you speedy fast. You wrote them. So you can inquire.

If you can inquire, you have access to freedom.

If you have access to internal freedom, you have the possibility of a new perspective…and joy.

“Something opens our wings. Something makes boredom and hurt disappear. Someone fills the cup in front of us: We taste only sacredness.” ~ Rumi

I know whomever shows up at Being With Byron Katie or Summer Camp for The Mind (or both) are just the right people.

Thank you for joining me.

Much love,

Grace

Posted on

Trying to Clean the Screen? Inquire, & the Projector Gets Clear Instead. And there’s dancing.

Upcoming events:
*Three hour Saturday afternoon meetup 3/18 at East West Books for only $25. Register here. I’ll share specifically how to do The Work on eating, weight, compulsive thoughts about food and your body.
*Living Turnarounds Group Sunday 2/26 3-6 pm (if you’re a beginner in The Work, email me first before registering).
********************
question your thoughts, dance into a new reality

I’m about to go dancing. It’s what I do on Saturday mornings now if I’m not teaching a retreat somewhere out of town, and one of my absolute favorite things in my entire life.

This kind of dancing is almost not really “dancing” the way many of us think of as dancing, because it’s spontaneous movement, without words, to music of all kinds of genres and countries.
There are no step, no choreography, no requirements whatsoever, no need to dance with anyone. You can stop, you can sit on a yoga mat or a chair eyes closed or open, you can shake a shaker or tambourine, you can be entirely still. People of all ages attend, and I especially love all the people who come in their 60s, 70s, 80s.
What does this have to do with The Work?
Everything, I realized some time ago.
Here I am in this body, on planet earth, experiencing this particular lifetime. There’s a mind attached to this body, a brain, thoughts, feelings, responses to this reality.
And movement happens, it seems, out of this body. I lie down to sleep. I rise in the morning and get out of bed. I go to the kitchen and drink a glass of water. I notice thoughts, and notice the room, and notice sounds. I peel a banana and eat it, gorgeous.
Now, the body sits at a table and fingers are typing. Soon, this will stand up and gather a coat and others items to leave for the dancing. At least this is most likely. The mind doesn’t know exactly how it will go.
In the flow and river of what’s happening are thoughts, ideas, planning, wondering, and movement and stillness.
The way of it.
Not up to me. I am not in charge. I didn’t even invent this body, I don’t run the lungs, heart beat, temperature. I don’t invent the thoughts that appear, or the feelings that follow thoughts.
I used to think, when I stuffed myself with junk food, and watched my judgments become enraged, when I shoplifted that time on my bicycle in college, when I said mean things to people close to me, when I didn’t have enough money, when I didn’t win the race, when I didn’t dance very freely, when I was nervous about going on stage, when I had any uncomfortable feeling….
….I used to ALWAYS think it was My Fault.
Or, someone else’s.
What’s wrong with this person? (Me, Them).
Then I’d start to think about all the ways I could improve myself, or get away from that other person, or stop feeling “x”.
In the Year of Inquiry group the other day on our phone call, someone said as she’s navigating a major change in her life, very unplanned….
….What if this is the BEST that could happen?
As opposed to the WORST?
An amazing thing to realize, to feel and understand and be aware of….even just a drop.
It suddenly brings us back to right now, this moment, looking around as if to find the good news, the best, the interesting, the wondrous, the handle-able.
Are things so difficult as our thoughts sometimes make them out to be? Do we really need to worry? Is fear the motivator for change….or is accepting this stunning lack of need to change things the easier way?
As I found The Work in 2014 it was a slow dawn. First it was reading Loving What Is. Then a weekend workshop. Then making my way to the School for The Work in 2005 (a big leap there, with 9 days of inquiry). Then another school, and using the last drop of savings to attend it. Free to spend the money without fear. Even with fear.
No planning was done for how this went. I just knew what to do next. And next. And next.
And I noticed dancing right there at the School, during breaks, during one exercise. The joyful, spontaneous movement that didn’t need to be any certain way whatsoever except free, expressing itself.
So I found dance back at home where I lived, free-form dance, and I started going specifically to do what Byron Katie calls “living your turnaround”. An intention to move without worry, or criticism (well, there were a lot of inhibitions at first, for about a year, but I kept showing up and dancing who I would be without my thoughts).
And eventually, with my husband, I started a dance of this same interesting kind–open movement without plans, without requirements of any kind.
Being You in a group of other people all moving together.
This feels like where The Work brings us all. Being ourselves, connected to everyone and all that is, moving freely with joy and love, this body, music (or no music as we live our waking day moving from here to there, even from one room to another room). Just for a temporary time here on planet earth.
Who would you be without any thought whatsoever that something is required, or there’s someone to blame–someone’s fault–just for today? Who would I be without the belief there’s something off, or wrong, just for the next hour?
What if this is the BEST that could happen, and I could doubt my fears and angst about whether or not it’s gone wrong?
“Since the beginning of time, people have been trying to change the world so that they can be happy. This hasn’t ever worked, because it approaches the problem backward. What The Work gives us is a way to change the projector-mind—rather than the projected. It’s like when there’s a piece of lint on a projector’s lens. We think there’s a flaw on the screen, and we try to change this person and that person, whomever the flaw appears on next. But it’s futile to try to change the projected images. Once we realize where the lint is, we can clear the lens itself. This is the end of suffering, and the beginning of a little joy in paradise.” ~ Byron Katie
As one of my other favorite teachers (Adyashanti) invites people from time to time to try: Sit on a couch, and only get up when “it” gets up, not when you think you should, or shouldn’t, or when you have a thought about it.
Who would you be, how would you move, without your beliefs or your identity?
This morning, apparently, I’d be Dancing.
Much love,
Grace
P.S. Most Saturday mornings Free Form Dance Dance is at Northgate Community Center in Seattle. Doors open 10 am.
Posted on

Eating Peace: bumbling along, making mistakes, you can still find empowerment here

I’ve spoken with so many people who have felt the same as I have, when it comes to sticking up for yourself, saying what you mean, asking for what you want.

Noticing how we don’t do it. Wondering why.

It’s such a powerless feeling to avoid confrontation, not ask for what you need or want.

But what if you allowed yourself to be as you’ve been, without such criticism? Maybe noticing what you’re afraid of (hurting someone’s feelings, not getting what you want, getting hurt, feeling rejected)?

What if you made a small gesture towards asking for what you want?

Even this can feel so kind, so supportive.

I’ve never been seen as a super “powerful” strong, intense, fierce, aggressive personality. I have’t liked conflict or confrontation much.

And I can still feel a sense of deep personal power that I won’t do anything, or agree to anything, that purposely or intentionally hurts me.
If I need to say no, or change my mind, or leave someone or something alone, or ask for help….I can.

Much love, Grace

Posted on

Where is Home Sweet Home?

Question Three in The Work of Byron Katie is: How do you react when you think that thought?

I often laugh and say “I ate”.

I don’t usually share my Eating Peace videos with anyone but the dear people who seek peace with food, eating, hunger, fullness, or body image.

But this one, after it came out, I thought….is really all about finding peace from compulsion.

Compulsive thinking, pushing, pulling, forcing, trying, reaching

Everyone who is human has done it….it might be with food or substances like I did, but maybe also with relationships, tasks, goals

It feels so good to find peace from the urge to get control–even though control can feel temporarily right and good (and is sometimes a huge relief)

Peace from the fear of Not Knowing what to do (or eat)

Who would you be without the belief you need someone to tell you what to do because you’re out of control or flailing about in panic?

You might still research good steps to take, or ask for advice or help, but you wouldn’t feel like it was an emergency.

I’m sharing a story here today that I find hilarious now, although at the time I was having a total hissy fit of despair and panic.

This story appears to be about finding an answer to my eating issues and food problems….

….but it was really a story about finding freedom from my deeply disturbed thinking.

Eating off-balance and in a crazy way was only a symptom of my fears and anxieties. It really wasn’t about the food.

Much love,
Grace
Posted on

Eating Peace: Be Simple, Lie Down, & Remember you can’t Fail

Recently someone wrote to share a stressful thought she has that I’ve heard before, in every variation possible.

I’m afraid I will fail. I already failed many times. I can’t seem to succeed. I will regret the outcome, later, in the future because it won’t be a success. 

Being a human being, you’ve probably noticed a thought pattern like this, as your mind watches the memory of what you’ve been like, and then imagines what’s possible for you in the future, based on what you’ve been like so far.

That same mind will compare the failing you, to the possibly successful you, and see a gap.

Then it will say to you…..yep. See! 

Something’s missing. You’re obviously not capable of doing this on your own. You need help.

A LOT of help.

Notice how stressful this is, to think you can’t do it, you won’t make it, you’ll not succeed, you can’t get there, you’ve screwed up many times already and failed over and over again.

Super stressful, discouraging, frightening, sad.

Here I share a little mantra I learned that made a big difference for me, a way to interrupt the pattern of reaching for unneeded food (or uncomfortable thoughts).

Peace,

Grace

 

Posted on

Stay With The Shakiness of Someone Not Liking You, It’s Worth It

Teen girl resent
Stabbed in the heart by that person? Staying with the broken, hurt place brings you to your humanity.

One night a week, Mondays, became family dinner night several years ago.

Everyone knows I don’t really like to cook.

I have no trouble with cooking, and I love to eat absolutely anything anyone creates (I have zero pickiness) and I love doing the dishes.

I really do not enjoy trying to figure out what to eat, choose the item, find the recipe, and actually cook or make it.

I’d make a smoothie and feel perfectly happy.

At some point I stopped trying to like to cook.

When my kids were little, I always made dinner every night. I had the same 5 things I created over and over–they were really good.

Creativity was not my interest in this department.

Then divorce happened.

Something kind of gave up trying to do whatever you’re supposed to do around meals.

I dropped the “I should(s)…..”

So after a time of the change in the family configuration, and everything starting all over again without the images in place any more of what it was supposed to look like….

….I thought, hey….my kids can do a meal once a week.

They can pick the recipe, or choose whatever we’re eating, and I’ll buy the food or ingredients.

Mondays.

Family dinner night, even if we do eat together other nights, this one is a For Sure night.

Skip to a decade later.

Only daughter here at home, age 18. Son at college.

(Son loves to cook, by the way, and owns two cookbooks along with kitchen items he bought with his own money).

During the past year, Monday night dinner night has been cancelled and thrown to the wayside many times.

I had reinstated it a few days ago.

My husband and I decided on the food.

I was working with clients until 6:30 pm, but after that…..family dinner night was going to happen!

When I emerged from my last client appointment, she was lying on the couch.

“Let’s get dinner on the table!” I declared.

“What???!!!! I HATE eating after 7 pm!! Why did you wait so long?! The only reason I’m even in this room is because of your Dinner Night or I would be going to BED! Now! I am soooooo exhausted! I can’t stand your food idea either! And why didn’t you start at least cooking already!?!”

Lightening bolt courses through me.

I say with anger….

….”Why didn’t you request a different night, then? It’s not like this is written in stone, especially if it causes so much suffering. Go to bed! Family Dinner Night is off!!”

Daughter storms out.

Sigh.

The feeling of being insulted or disrespected arose so fast in me, like a fire.

Under the surface, I am hurt.

She doesn’t care about me, she doesn’t want to spend time with me (us), she’s mean.

Who would I be without these thoughts?

I’ve been here before, in this inquiry.

I see it and feel immediately what it would be like without the belief she doesn’t like me.

If her words did not mean anything personal, I would realize right now I never really asked her if she would be up for the idea.

I didn’t let her know I’d like to spend time with her.

Honestly, I’m not even sure I liked the idea of cooking (of course I didn’t) or making a production out of it on a Monday night.

I didn’t even ask her if she felt ill, since 7 pm was very early to want to go to bed.

Who would you be without the belief someone doesn’t like you?

Even if they say “I don’t like you” who would you be without the belief that it is really, absolutely true?

I’d see them having their reaction.

I’d be with them as they have it.

I’d connect with the reality of the situation, which is that something I’ve done or said is not computing well with this person.

They’re saying “no”.

That’s it.

I turn the thought around: she does care about me, love me, want to spend time with me. I am mean, disrespectful, insulting….to her, to myself. 

Could any of these be just as true, or truer?

This was another moment in time, an exchange, a place I felt the vulnerability of disappointment, loss, concern….

….a childlike core place of “ouch”.

After doing The Work for awhile in my room, I felt like I was hugging the little raw, exposed part of me.

Moments later I heard daughter came back into the living room, so I stepped out of my room, and I hugged her and stroked her back as big crocodile tears rolled down her cheeks. She told me she was thinking about how much she had to get done.

“To stay with that shakiness–to stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge–that is the path of true awakening. Sticking with that uncertainty, getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos, learning not to panic–this is the spiritual path.” ~ Pema Chodron

In my graduate school program 20 years ago, we had a saying. “It’s not what I do…..it’s what I do next.”

We had t-shirts made with these words on it. Our special reminder, our discovery in imperfection, in feelings, in staying with something, in repair.

My kids teach me this over, and over again.

And everyone who has ever acted like they didn’t like me, or said so.

Thank you.

“Go ahead, climb up onto the velvet top of the highest stakes table. Place yourself as a bet. Look God in the eyes and finally for once in your life, lose.” ~ Adyashanti

Much Love, Grace
Posted on

She Should Get Over It

brokenheart
Is it true that others should get over their broken hearts?

A woman contacted me to do The Work.

She was filled with suffering. She couldn’t sleep. She was sometimes overeating, or drinking lots of wine.

Her beloved partner, with whom she had a decade-long off and on love affair, was yet again breaking up with her. They had apparently done this for years.

Together, not together, together again.

These two people had never actually lived with one another, despite a feeling of passion, desire, intense chemistry. They lived a continent apart, so they worked and lived much of their lives separately, with visits and meetings when they could.

She shared with me that she felt like ending her life.

She felt desperate, like she had wasted ten years in this on-and-off affair, and now was in her 40s with no committed partner and a feeling of failure.

It reminded me how much suffering people bring to their lives around partnerships, attraction, lovers, boyfriends, girlfriends.

I must be with that person. I am alone. I need a partner. I need to be loved (I am not loved in this moment).

I must confess….I have had some stressful thoughts about those other people who are desperately in love or out of love.

She should see she’s totally fine without her lover. No one needs a “partner”. Good grief.

Hmmmm.

I notice a little judgment coming out of my own mind.

Time for The Work.

Is it true that someone else should stop suffering over a love affair?

Yes!

This appears to be a source of wild pain for humans. Whether with someone they want to leave, or broken up from someone they pine for, there seems to be great suffering around partnership or lack of partnership.

People write plays, and music, and poetry about love-gone-wrong.

Oh the endless crazed thoughts about romantic love.

How do I react when I’m looking at this other person who is suffering about romantic love?

I think I know what she needs. I say to myself that she should stop thinking her thoughts, stop feeling those feelings.

Wow. I’m kind of like a little dictator in my mind.

Who would I be without those kinds of thoughts? Without the belief that she should do anything differently, that she should have a different story, that she should wake up and let go of this longing for a ‘soul mate’ or ‘true love’ or long-term partner?

I watch. I sit quietly, looking at her image in my mind. Observing that person feeling big feelings, bereft, in pain, crying, anxious.

Without the belief she should NOT feel what she’s feeling.

Amazing, really.

Everyone allowed to feel what they feel.

I notice reality appears to be full of people pining about romantic love. Reality appears to have people wanting, waiting, wishing, longing, disappointed, grabbing.

I turn my own thoughts around: She should NOT see she’s totally fine without her lover. Everyone does need a “partner” or some contact with love. I should see I’m totally fine without a lover. I don’t need a partner. She shouldn’t get over it, until she does.

How strange.

How would I know what’s good, or not good, for anyone.

“Life is full of beautiful surprises. When you are happy, you are attracted to the universe. You life will stay the same if your thinking is always the same. But as soon as you break open internally, your life breaks open. You discover the wealth that your ‘beingness’ is. All this trouble is caused by your own mind….Focus on what is true. When you find what is true, the un-true will not be appealing to you. Truth knows no distance.” ~ Mooji

My thoughts about this person and their suffering are obviously un-true.

How can I be happy, here now, in the presence of this person who is unhappy with their love life?

I contemplate the great softness of being with this woman who is upset.

I notice that actually, I am not even “with” this woman in this moment. I am only with the memory and picture of her, floating in my mind, and the memory of my thoughts about her.

My heart opens to being with anyone full of tears, allowing them to feel as they feel.

All that is needed is me being. Here, now.
There is no “me” being here, nothing to do, say. Nothing to be against or for.
I can remember this is only a story.
“When I say that the worst that can happen is a belief, I am being literal. The worst that can happen is an uninvestigated belief system.” ~ Byron Katie
Much love,
Grace
Posted on

Faster Than A Speeding Bullet…Look! It’s A Thought!

the speed of thought is *zoom*
the speed of thought is *zoom*

It’s amazing how speedy quick thought happens.

Kinda like Superman.
Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Thoughts are crazy wild, racing down the German Autobahn.
It is concerning, since thoughts move and multiply so chaotically and exponentially, when a thought produces stress.
Gentle, happy, easy, smooth or wonderful thoughts aren’t so difficult to deal with.
(Although…funny side effect……when you question troubling thoughts, the thrilling ones can also dissolve. This is not a bad thing. More on this another day).
Thoughts. Move. Fast.
This is on my mind because I spoke about “stopping” thought on the Peace Talk podcast I was recording just today.
You can’t.
Stop thought, that is.
But you can stop believing what you think, taking it seriously, thinking its important, repeating it for years.
How?
Through self-inquiry, of course. Do The Work.
Why do it though?
What a pain…..I mean, it takes work. It seems like when doing the work, the mind is busy-busy and the brain is analyzing and obsessing and contemplating and “working” and crunching.
You have to write things down, to have to get people to ask you the four questions, you have to look at your immature, frightened thinking.
Who needs it!?!
Jeez! Give it a rest!
That’s the thing, though.
Have you tried to give it a rest, and noticed…
…you actually can’t?
Mind thinks thoughts.
“You either question your stressful thoughts, or not. That’s your only choice.” ~ Byron Katie
If you notice your mind has occasionally been full of thoughts about a topic, a person, an issue, an incident or a situation.
And you’ve even tried many ways of resolving these thoughts, getting rid of them, shaking them off, changing the channel, eating, drinking, distracting yourself, falling in love, quitting, moving on, going to therapy.
If you’ve tried everything, may you might want to write down what runs through your mind?
The uncomfortable, terrible thoughts.
And ask….
Is it true?
Are you absolutely sure?
How do you react when you believe this, when you think it over and over again? What happens inside your body? How do you act?
Who would you be if you just got here from Jupiter and you weren’t a human after all but instead were an entity made of star dust? Like ET, what if you had never learned, with all your conditioning and stories, all the ideas you have about THIS difficult situation?
Can you use your imagination to see things differently?
Start with one simple painful thought.
Like….she hurt me. He hurt me. I’m in danger. This isn’t safe.
Become an un-believer. Give yourself the freedom you really, truly desire.
The freedom you truly have already.
“Human beings have a drive for security and safety, which is often what fuels the spiritual search. This very drive for security and safety is what causes so much misery and confusion. Freedom is a state of complete and absolute insecurity and not knowing. So, in seeking security and safety, you actually distance yourself from the freedom you want. There is no security in freedom, at least not in the sense that we normally think of security. This is, of course, why it is so free: there’s nothing there to grab hold of.” ~ Adyashanti
Much love,
Grace
Posted on

Un-Mother’s Day Un-Expected Freedom

peacesymbol
peace whatever happens

Yesterday I so loved all the people I had contact with. There were a LOT.

One group was an afternoon meetup I hosted in my little cottage, open to anyone interested in doing The Work and learning more about it.

People came, curious about The Work, how to do it, wondering if they’re doing it right, noticing the difficulty with doing The Work on their own when they’re alone.

The front door of my cottage was propped open with sweet spring smells wafting in from a sunny afternoon, fresh mowed lawn, the Judge Your Neighbor worksheets in a stack with a cup of pens nearby, clipboards, tea in the kitchen.

Earlier yesterday in the morning, I was ALSO spending time with people.

For that session, it was via teleconference wearing my headset, facilitating people through a two hour session identifying stressful thoughts about money (we’re continuing our money sessions for two more Sunday mornings) and then inquiring.

Now, here’s the deal.

I completely forgot it was Mother’s Day when I scheduled these things.

I also forgot, when I got the idea to schedule the conference call on Money, that I ALREADY was doing The Work all afternoon with people who came to the meetup.

So there I was a couple of days ago realizing…..oh.

Well, lookie at that!

I’m doing The Work all morning, for a whole meeting in the afternoon, and pretty much doing nothing that’s official for “Mother’s Day”!

I saw the thoughts coming along the ticker-tape of the mind:

  • I should be doing stuff with my kids
  • Why don’t I pay closer attention to my calendar
  • Really?
  • Aren’t you trying to work less, not more?
  • I should care more about Mother’s Day
  • People won’t show up anyway, because it’s Mother’s Day
  • So who would I be without any thought about Mother’s Day and what it was supposed to mean or involve, or what was supposed to be remembered, or forgotten?

What if all was well, exactly as it went?

Because it was.

Exquisitely well.

Fun people, wonderful connections, a remarkable joy of being with humanity in such deep and profound ways.

Noticing what a spectacular day I had yesterday.

I turned all the thoughts around…almost as they arose, to be honest.

  • I saw my son and daughter, both, the previous day for a fantastic late breakfast at 2 pm….we went to one of my favorite old restaurants they had never been to since they were little
  • Apparently, not paying close attention to my calendar is not really a problem
  • Yes, really
  • That wasn’t work, that was play
  • It’s fabulous to not care about Mother’s Day, and just enjoy whatever happens
  • More people showed up than for the last several meetups (we had nine–a fabulous number) and 21 showed up for the teleconference. It was AWESOME.
Who would you be without the thought that you need it to be a different schedule than it is….or go a different way?
Fantastic.
Such freedom and lightness. This life is sooooo very entertaining!
“There are two ways you can live: you can devote your life to staying in your comfort zone, or you can work on your freedom. In other words, you can devote your whole life to the process of making sure everything fits within your limited model, or you can devote your life to freeing yourself from the limits of your model.” ~ Michael Singer

Much love,

Grace