In preparing to teach the most in-depth version so far I’ve ever taught of Eat In Peace, I’ve been reviewing tons of personal notes I’ve kept about addiction. I’ve read so many articles, books, graduate school curriculum on addiction, I have volumes of information.
My favorite!
Over thirty years ago I had a thirst to understand my own behavior burning in me like fire. So determined. So passionately desperate. Willing to learn, do, investigate anything in order to find balance, to find peace.
One incredible thing I noticed over time, listening to others and working with people now for quite a few years, is that humans often feel an intense craving to do anything it takes to find peace, whether they have a severe addiction to something….or not.
It’s not so much the “thing” or “substance” or “activity” itself that’s so upsetting….
….it’s the feeling of not being at home, not feeling settled, not quite feeling relaxed, or trusting, or comfortable with life.
It doesn’t matter if you overeat, over-exercise, drink too much, smoke, consume too much caffein, shop for things you don’t need, get glued to your computer, or work mega-hours with no free time….
….It’s the misunderstanding of that deep urge to do something escapist that hurts most of all.
Being a whatever-a-holic hurts.
It feels like gremlins came in and took over your brain.
Brainwashed!
The word brainwashed comes from China originally when during the Maoist regime in the 1950s the government used interrogation and coercion with prisoners of war, or even the people, to get them to support the dictatorship.
If we say someone is brainwashed, we think they’re not in control of their own mind…they’re believing false thoughts.
They’re bonkers!
Oh. Wait. Um.
Did you say….”they are believing false thoughts”?
Heh heh.
I’ve believed thoughts ALL THE TIME that weren’t really true. Like, every day. The mind is chattering away commenting on everything, and its hardly ever got the whole, complete, peaceful picture.
Even if you’ve never been an “addict” of any kind, you may notice this to be the case!
“Is it working? That’s the first fundamental insight into any addiction. ….I have never met anyone who was addicted to anything until they really came to grips with ‘this is not working’. And almost everybody is an addict. Everybody is addicted to thinking.” ~ Adyashanti
So the great question, is my thinking working for me? Or am I brainwashed?
DOH!
There’s good news though.
A dictatorship government didn’t do the brainwashing. It just happened. You didn’t know about questioning your thoughts.
You thought your mind was the one in control of everything. You thought you were running your life and that you’re the boss of it.
You aren’t.
“Your mother said ‘it’s a tree.’ You said, ‘okay’. She said ‘it’s a sky’. You said ‘sky…I’ll go with that.’ She told you your name, and you said, ‘okay’. And you never asked you.” ~ Byron Katie
Phew!
Who would you be without believing your stressful thoughts?
Even as you begin to crave consuming that thing, that person, that place, that substance, that activity you return to over and over again.
If you didn’t have this escape hatch in place (notice you aren’t really escaping anyway, I know its a bummer, but its true)….
….who would you BE? What would you DO instead? How would you FEEL?
Paraphrased and gathered from the 12 steps of AA, here’s what I found as a way to free yourself from being addicted to believing everything you think:
Grace’s Steps To Freedom
Admit you are powerless over your thinking. Notice how your life is actually not managed by you.
It’s run by something much bigger, vaster and mysterious. Call it God/Source/Silence/Tao if you want, but naming it isn’t necessary, only realize that it is inside of you and you are inside of it.
Recognize that It is here, and has been here since you can remember, whether you were being an addict or sleeping or suffering or going about your daily business. Realize also that you are not in charge of reality. Have you noticed?
Examine your mind. Question every thought, especially the ones that feel terrifying or uncomfortable. Talk to other people about what you really think, and what you’re aware of. Be honest. You are connected.
Open your hands up instead of making fists. Feel how sincere you are about relaxing, and getting what’s going on around here, and let go.
Make amends and clean up the stuff you feel like doo-doo about from the past. Do The Work on all of it. Be chill about it, don’t go overboard (that would be believing you were maybe more horrible than you really were).
Admit you’re wrong if you freak someone out or get pissy.
Practice inquiry all the time. Meditate. Feel the silence. Notice how awake you are!
Spread the love (and there’s nothing required)!
“The Tao is always at ease. It overcomes without competing, answers without speaking a word, arrives without being summoned, accomplishes without a plan.” ~ Tao Te Ching #73
If you want to get first dibs on joining Eat In Peace which will begin at the end of October for 3 months, where we’ll practice understanding how what we think leads to a troubling relationship with food–and how to undo it–then make sure you’re on the list.
Click HERE to follow the instructions to opt-in (you can unsubscribe any time) and you’ll be getting information in a few days.
Much love, Grace
When I was in my late teens, I discovered that people wrote books about recovering from suffering, finding peace, faith, understanding why we’re here, the meaning of life.