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Money Money I Lost Money

I need this money! (Is that true?)

In Summer Camp for The Mind this morning we looked at one of my all-time favorite topics. (You can still join, by the way, sliding scale).

MONEY!!!!

Many money situations seem hard to pin down when it comes to identifying very specifically the split second in time when money was a problem.

There you are, looking at a letter.

Or a bank statement.

Or a receipt.

Or an empty wallet.

And boom. Gasp. Quick inhale of the breath.

This cost too much. Wait, it’s how much? Something is dangerous here. I am threatened in some way.

Like I was last night.

My son turned 21 very recently and what I knew he would love was a new upgraded cell phone. His phone was eligible for a trade-in. We usually use and use and use our phones because….I notice the whole “upgrade” thing is a made-up idea anyway.

But this would be a fun gift.

Two hours later, we returned home with not only a phone, but some kind of fancy speaker, a super-charging case for his phone, and a high-priced glass cover to prevent scratches to the phone screen.

I opened my email, to double-check the receipt I had just signed and what all happened.

There was a lot of discussion and a lot of numbers flying around about the new monthly payment being the same, and a few hundred dollars charged to my credit card.

Gizmos and gadgets and MORE (there was something about a MORE EVERYTHING plan).

I took a look at the receipt bottom line and my eyes popped open and mouth said “What??!!!”

Perfect moment for the Summer Camp Inquiry this morning.

The thought brought to our call by an inquirer was “her negligence resulted in my suffering financial loss!”

 

Maybe you have a situation where someone’s negligence resulted in loss, for you.

I love getting as simple as possible with money thoughts.

There are a few concepts to question right in the middle of this one concept about negligence and financial loss:

  • I lost money
  • I am suffering
  • she (or he) was negligent
There are so many implied or assumed beliefs under this one concept.
  • more money is better than less money
  • I could have more money right now than I do
  • its dangerous to have money move from here to over there
  • money causes suffering
  • this situation is someone’s fault (if not theirs, then MINE)
  • this situation is BAD or threatening
Who would I be without the belief that I lost something, or that making a purchase is dangerous, or that a mistake could have been made?
Who would I be without the entire belief system about money, and the idea that it is better if it’s coming to me, staying with me, not leaving me?
I notice I love to trade money for things.
Food, house, transportation, communication (phone), fun, entertainment, care, education.
I’m constantly trading money for these things, and it’s easy, simple, wonderful.
Without the belief something terrible has gone wrong with money, in my situation, I call the customer service center and ask a lot of questions. I get clearer and clearer about the plan, the structure, the numbers and what I misunderstood or needed clarity on.
I asked everything.

I notice I’m fascinated.

All the brilliance of moving numbers, sales, buying, contracts, upgrades, deals, cell phones, beliefs about what is needed or not needed, what is required or not required…..so hilarious, really, so entertaining.

I love discovering light shed on what the receipt means, the questions, the answers, remembering the fun in the store. The sweet time spent with my adorable son who I love so much and the laughter we had about the experience.

And this morning, I’m heading back to the store when it opens, with the fancy speaker, to return it, make some changes, and ask more questions.

With a light step, noticing the thought enter “this is a pain that I ‘have to’ go back” and not believing it.

I know I don’t have to do anything.

I see also there has been no loss of any kind whatsoever.

There has only been all gain. Gain of information, smiling son, laughing family, learning so much about cell phones and plans and deals and people in stores.

  • I gained money
  • I am happy, I am safe, I am fine, I am breathing, all is well
  • she (or he) was careful, attentive
  • more money is NOT better than less money
  • It is not possible to have any more money right now than I actually have (all ideas about more or less are images in my mind)
  • its exciting and safe to have money move from here to over there
  • money does not cause suffering, my thoughts about money do
  • this situation is no one’s fault
  • this situation is GOOD and wonderful, not threatening

Last night during the phone conversation after I returned home, my monthly bill was reduced by $20. I read a consumer report article online this morning and discovered a way to reduce costs even more.

I got to see the easy generous nature of my son who said “mom, you can take the fancy speaker back and the case for the phone….I don’t really need those.”
The man we spent time with gave us tons of attention and care, and we learned all about his grandson and his previous career. So did the person who talked with me on the phone at 10 pm at night.
Without the feeling of threat, or danger, I notice how secure and happy and comfortable I am right now, in this present moment.
Money is doing what it does, and I’m having fun noticing it is free to do what it does without me becoming terrified or full of grasping, or overly-excited.
“My world is one of constantly shifting forms. There’s nothing I can count on in it, not my age, not my body, not who is with me, not my identity, not the century, not the planet I live on…..Anything that comes into its awareness is a tilt, to be set straight again. It’s always looking for something out of order, only to see the order.” ~ Byron Katie in 1000 Names For Joy
Money shifts in quantity, speed, presence, just like everything else.
Can I notice, for this moment, how I can’t count on money and yet, how safe, mysterious, funny, simple this moment is….
….even if numbers have gone up, gone down, come in, come out.
Just like breathing.
And now, I close the computer and head back to the cell phone store for the next chapter in this fun adventure. We’ll see if I get there, or not.
Much love,

Grace

P.S. Still two weeks of daily Summer Camp 90 minute inquiry. With two weeks still ahead, and a 2 hour Sunday jam on 8/2, you can pick the dollar amount right for you. Sliding scale to join. Stress melting for the mind! Your chance to try guided inquiry and listen. No participation required.

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This Pain Is Unbearable

Doing the Work on your most frightening visions can change your life from dread to peace
Doing the Work on your most frightening visions can change your life from dread to peace

Right now in Year of Inquiry, we’re looking at what we believe is the worst that can happen.

When I first read Loving What Is by Byron Katie, my brain went on alert when I read the part about considering your worst nightmares, and inquiring into the truth.

No.

I don’t want to look at that.

Death, physical impairment, crushing abandonment, whole countries being devastated by earthquakes or volcanoes, suicide, losing everything, the horror of war and cruelty, bizarre and sick abuse, death by fire, death by drowning, death by falling, death by car accident, death by cancer.

Do I have to look at all this?

Ugh.

But I must confess….even though I didn’t want to really think about this, I saw a theme there.

Pain and death.

It was obvious I had a few beliefs about these two things.

As in…..run for your life!!!!!

Do. Not. Go. There.

But then, I had to admit.

Avoiding any thought of death, ever, had not particularly taken any of my sheer terror away.

Being completely against pain (including emotional pain) had not exactly made it easy to face pain.

What if looking more closely at situations that created and generated terrible pain…..assisted the healing process?

I had learned long ago in therapy that the only way to really sort out my feelings about events I didn’t like, or situations I found troubling, was to talk about them honestly.

This step was a huge one.

I began to have conversations about things I found really hard and difficult, in therapy, long before I encountered this self-inquiry process called The Work.

Talking about hard times was a huge relief. Wise mentors and therapists, by listening alone, brought a new acceptance to what I had gone through that felt like crap.

By reviewing a terrible story, with good questions, the story felt more bearable.

Relaxing happened. Acceptance happened. Connection happened.

But I still had strong beliefs that I’d be better off without those things every having happened at all.

THAT would have been the best thing. Any ordeal actually NOT happening.

Good thing I bumped into self-inquiry and The Work later on, because it has been amazing to continuously investigate suffering, pain, death and loss.

It doesn’t mean you have to like these things.

I don’t.

I prefer happiness, no pain, life and abundance (or, my mind does).

I like the idea of my dad living a much longer life, rather than dying of leukemia close the age I am right now and never meeting a single future grandchild.

However, all the stories I see about death in my life, in others’ lives, are more blended, unknown, strange and mysterious. And I can see incredible benefits sometimes. Shocking.

So once again, I get to visit the planet called The Worst That Could Ever Happen with the brave inquirers who do their work in Year of Inquiry.

Here’s a powerful underlying belief I notice still re-emerging the other day.

There is such a thing as unbearable pain.

Any of those tormenting images of death, loss, horror…they are unbearable.

Is it true?

Deep breath. I can hardly believe it, but my answer is “no”.

Because I notice, even if I am raging and screaming on the inside (or outside) with fear, even if I see terrible visions and pictures, even when I haven’t been able to sleep at night because I am afraid of the nightmares, even in the depression….

….none of it has killed me. Ever.

It has all been bearable.

When I believe this thought anyway (despite the facts) I am careful. I try to be super healthy, I keep a little safety zone around me, I try not to think of “bad” and scary stuff, I feel inadequate helping others who are suffering.

But who am I without the belief that nothing is unbearable?

Holy smokes.

Something deep within down to my bones just lets up a little.

Maybe it lets up a lot. It loosens. It doesn’t have to try to control anything else or feel worried about all the tough things that happen in life for no apparent reason.

Something begins to sink into the idea that I’m willing to have anything happen.

Or the ultimate turnaround idea that seems so crazy when you first encounter it in The Work…..I look forward to this scary thing happening.

I can handle it. I will survive.

I might rage and scream, but I’ll still be here in this life on this planet earth, even if I’ve visited planet The Worst That Could Ever Happen.

If I lived the turnaround…..all pain is bearable….

….what would that look like?

Even in thinking it as I write, in this moment, something opens up even further than it’s ever opened before. Everything is welcome here, in this moment.

Even a meteor hitting my cottage from outer space. Or frightening news from a phone call.

My thoughts are welcome here. They are all bearable.

I know what to do with them. Listen. Do The Work. Meditate with them. Watch. Feel.

And in being with other people, I notice a deep gratitude and love…..when I don’t believe the thought that there is such a thing as unbearable pain.

I used to feel so cautious with people. I still have an impulse sometimes to be careful, or be quiet, or to feel a little nervous…but soooooo much less than ever I once did.

Without the belief that anything is unbearable, I say yes.

Yes, I can do The Work with you. Yes, it is possible to stop suffering even about that terrible experience you had. No, you can’t move in with me. Yes, I will travel to be with you and your group. No, I don’t know what any outcome will be.

Guess I’ll just be here, living this life, sticking around and being here and noticing how so far….everything that’s ever happened has been bearable.

Including other peoples’ death. Including my own brushes with death. Including my thoughts about death. Including the inevitability of death.

Could this be true for you, too?

“Health is not the absence of disease or hardship or brokenness. Health includes all of that. It includes dying….Grief and the praise of life, side by side.” ~ Steven Jenkinson of the movie Griefwalker and founder of Orphan Wisdom. 

“If you don’t know how to die, don’t worry. Nature will tell you what to do on the spot, fully and adequately. She will do this job perfectly for you: don’t bother your head about it.” ~ Michel de Montaigne

Much love,

Grace

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You Cannot Find Peace By Avoiding

loudnoise“I wonder what they’re doing?” 

I thought this as a big-muscled construction worker with a hard hat, heavy boots, and an orange vest dragged a “Road Closed” sign into place at the end of my street.

This is a big intersection only a block from my cottage. A heavily driven route right along Lake Washington, a long deep lake only a stone’s throw from this intersection.

(No, I don’t have a dock and I’m not on the water. Did you have to bring that up right now? I’m busy trying to investigate another thought about the neighborhood!)

So where was I.

Right.

Construction worker closing the big intersection one block away, at the end of the street where I live.

I forget about it until a few hours later, when I walk with my empty grocery bags to the corner Haggen store for supplies.

As I cross the same big intersection, this time on foot, I peer down the strangely-empty arterial, usually two lanes of traffic going north, and two going south.

Now there were about ten construction worker guys, about three bulldozers, a few cop cars with lights blinking.

After unpacking groceries, I look up on the city website to jog my memory about what’s happening.

It’s called the Flood Mitigation Project.

Mitigating a flood. And helping the salmon during spawning season find their way upstream.

OK. Sounds like a reasonable plan.

You go, little town of Lake Forest Park!

Stop the floods in the winter! (When sometimes the water in the creeks rise up so high this same road is underwater and peoples’ basements are flooded)! Help the fish!

Why not. If my taxes went to this, good.

My husband comes home in the evening and comments as he enters the house “Wow, serious traffic from the construction project.”

We forget all about it and go to bed later.

And then.

KABBBBOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!

The cottage actually shakes and we hear cracking, pounding, smashing and thumping noises.

At 1:30 am.

We smell big-truck diesel fumes and hear huge motors and roaring.

We have to close the window, even though its a gorgeous summer night and a little warmish.

Seriously??

They continue.

That was 3.5 days ago. The pounding is still underway.

24/7.

As in, all the time.

Inquiry on noise. My favorite.

Did you know they actually have a name for people who are bugged by noises?

Misophonia.

Who would I be without the belief this is too annoying, it shouldn’t wake me up, when will this be over with, how much did this cost again, I think other neighbors have left town, I should have cancelled my meet-up, if the city had told me earlier it was going to be this intrusive….

Without any of those thoughts? About noise?

Wow. Funny.

I hear big-truck back-up beeps right now in this moment, and the house just literally shook again. From the Flood Mitigation Project. That’s helping salmon.

I watch the imagination kick in with the question “who would I be without this thought about noise?”

Recalling many meditation retreats when things made sounds.

Cell phones, trains in the distance, wind rustling leaves, horns, engines, birds, hums of refrigerators, someone opening and shutting the microwave, distant airplanes, wind chimes, human voices, bangs, bells, gongs, whistles, toilets flushing.

Beep-beep-beep-beep.

Noticing almost never is there complete and total silence.

Maybe never. Ever. Sound appears.

Who would I be without the belief any of this is bad?

Wow.

It doesn’t mean I have to love it.

I COULD go stay with friends, or my mom.

But I notice, I don’t.

In some ways, I’m kind of amazed by the abundance of it all.

Somewhat entertained by all the noise and this hilarious story.

Laughing with neighbors about sleep.

Walking over to watch the construction ant-hill at night with huge spotlights and a gigantic tall crane that moves huge slabs of concrete and metal into a tunnel shape in the hole in the ground.

Marveling at human capacity to build, create, change, diverge and solve physical problems.

Just like my big operation 18 months ago now pinning hamstring back to pelvic bone….

….I didn’t have to do it. The surgeon did it.

And I definitely did not like it, but I actually paid him to do it.

I was asleep.

Which is what I was most of the nights these past three nights, even if there were a few bangs and thuds where I was awakened off and on.

Noticing at the Sunday afternoon meet-up, only one person made it out of ten who had RSVP’d, and the traffic congestion made her 30 minutes late, so I got to sit and write.

And then it was the sweetest personal inquiry with such brilliant awareness, about “mother”.

The concept of “Mother”…

…sometimes the very same as “noise”.

Giving “noise” and “mother” attention, allowing it to be there and do what it does whether interrupting, asserting itself, expressing itself.

Allowing space to investigate, waking me up.

Literally.

How is it a good thing this noise is occurring every day, every night?

I’m sleeping a little less, producing a little more. I am aware of people who are specialists helping to address a repetitive problem called a “flood”. I get to have a great laugh with neighbors in the driveway.

I like eating salmon.

I get to see how it doesn’t matter one way or another.

As a friend of mine said recently “it ain’t nothing but a jellybean.”

“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” ~ Virginia Wolff

You cannot find peace by avoiding all noise.

You cannot find peace by avoiding your thoughts, about noise.

You cannot find peace by avoiding.

Do The Work.

Much love,

Grace

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Something Could Go Right (Try Summer Camp To See)

invinciblesummer
Want three weeks of summer inquiry at your own pace? Once a week or five times a week, whatever works for you, works. You can start today.

John Cheever the beautiful American short story author began a tale…”It was a splendid summer morning and seemed as if nothing could go wrong.”

Wait.

What’d you just say?

Could something go wrong? What’s happening?

I’m nervous! What?

What’s going to go wrong??!!

Quick!!!! Turn the page and let’s find out!! EEEEK!!!!!

Isn’t that how the fearful mind works?

Kind of the same way a frightening movie works. You get a little hint with that music that enters the beautiful scene. Everyone’s on a beach on a gorgeous bright sunny day.

Then…..da duhn da duhn….

….shark music.

If you’ve ever had a frightening experience, you’re probably familiar with the idea that something CAN go wrong.

And one of the most brilliant ways to work with worry, anxiety, fear, anticipation, or nervousness about any wrong-going event….

….is doing The Work of Byron Katie.

It’s so simple yet such a powerful way to dissolve frightened thoughts, thoughts of terror, angry thoughts, sad thoughts, upset thoughts.

This is mindful based stress reduction.

Because we start with the mind, taking a very close look. We find the images produced by the mind, and the feelings that appear in the body with these quick-as-lightening thoughts.

This week, we continue with inquiry every single day in Summer Camp For The Mind.

Yes, that’s every single day.

There is a 90 minute session, and every day is a different hour, so no matter where you live, you can find at least one that works, and maybe they all do, who knows.

Google your time zone and see when these sessions start, these are all in Pacific Time.

Monday 10 am

Tuesday 5 pm

Weds noon

Thursday 9 am

Friday 7 am

Then, there’s also a Sunday Inquiry Jam of 2 hours on August 2nd from 8-10 am Pacific.

Three whole weeks of daily inquiry.

Want to jump on board?

Room is limited.

But all you need to do is click HERE and make your donation. Whatever works for you best works for me, too.

So exquisite to be guided through The Work step by step.

You don’t need any special experience. Come to listen and follow along, or raise your hand and do The Work. You can be quiet or participate with sharing. All of it works.

Bring a pen and paper to the call–use skype for free, or your phone.

It is a splendid summer morning.

And something could go right.

Much love,

Grace

P.S. A Summer Camper who started last week and has been to five calls said after her first five days of inquiry…

 

“Wow. I’m already noticing changes in such a short time of daily inquiry. Something that’s bugged me all the time didn’t bother me at all today, and I haven’t even worked on it. This is wonderful.”

It’s not too late to join. If you’d to try just one call (no fee), reply back to this email.
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It’s Your Birthright To See Everything Without Thought

michog
What if you could see the yakketty yakker without any thought?

Have you ever been in a group–no matter what size–and there’s someone present who you find irritating?

That person raises their hand.

The teacher calls on them.

Oh boy….here we go again…

…you roll your eyes and say under your breath only not too loud so anyone can hear you…

…”What a pain in the ass. I wish they’d shut up!”

Quick as lightening you’re throwing daggers at them in your own head.

Common beliefs about someone out there in the world in a group are the following (not that I’d know anything about these particular thoughts–haha).

  • he’s hogging the mic
  • she interrupts me (and shouldn’t)
  • he gives me the creeps
  • she should participate MORE, she’s too quiet
  • he is too nice, too polite
  • she should give other people a turn
  • he asks too many questions
  • she always has a complaint
  • I need a turn
  • we need more time
I love sitting with that exact moment where someone did a thing and it was disturbing, according to my mind.
Even if every single one of these thoughts is a different picture, a different image, a slightly different situation although they all occurred at the very same gathering.
I start with the first one only.
There he is, going on and on holding the microphone. I remember it vividly. I’m way in the back of the room. He’s in the front. It’s his voice again I begin to hear.
I stay with that specific moment, so I can really be utterly and entirely in the middle of troubling moment for me.
How do I react when I believe this thought that the guy with the mic is taking it too often, too much, or that I should be the one with a turn?
A wave of “against” seems to come out of me zapping in the direction of the man with the microphone.
My stomach goes into knots.
I have an inner growl.
Ggggrrrrrr.
Why is the teacher calling on him again? He’s had enough chance to speak!
How do I feel about myself in that situation?
I see me sitting in the second to last row, in the way back, stretching up my neck to see the front of the room.
Like I am the one not getting enough time, like I am the one not getting chosen, or enough opportunity at the mic, not close enough, not open enough, not getting it enough.
I am the one who is concerned about Not Enough.
I don’t even realize in that moment, while I’m believing the thought this man is taking too much time, how Not Enough was present in me before this man even spoke.
I’m at this workshop to get “more” of something.
So who would I be without the belief that anything in that room, including this man at the microphone, is not good enough, time enough, interesting enough, helpful enough, supportive enough?
Who would I be without the thought that there’s something missing around here?
At first….it’s almost inconceivable.
Then something drops open.
What would it feel like without the belief I am needing anything more, and this man at the microphone is in the way?
Without the thought about that moment was less than perfect?
Holy smokes!
it’s like I’ve set this whole thing up, without even consciously realizing it.
I am the victim, he’s the chump.
I turn the thoughts around:
  • he’s got great things to say into the mic
  • she interrupts me (and should!), I interrupt myself
  • I give myself the creeps about someone I don’t know
  • she’s just right, for her (not too quiet)
  • I am too nice, too polite, he’s actually very kind
  • I should give myself a turn
  • I ask too many questions, she doesn’t
  • I always have a complaint…about her, about others, or me
  • I don’t need a turn, I’ll get the perfect amount of turns
  • we do not need more time
Whatever your original thought is, I love sitting with it very consciously, very deeply, contemplating my turnaround.
Catching the perfect sweetness of everything being completely fine exactly the way it is.
Nothing needing to be tweaked.
No one needing to be quieter or take up less space.
Most of all….and maybe the ONLY thing really important….
….nothing missing in my own being, in my own moment.
No matter what anyone else is doing.
“It’s your birthright to see moon, sun, tree, him, her, everyone without thought.” ~ Byron Katie

 

Much love,

Grace

P.S. Join us for Summer Camp For The Mind absolutely any time. I love doing The Work with you. We go until August 7th.

 

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What If Everything You Need Is Given To You?

question your thoughts and find relationship heaven, not hell
Love is who you are–and if you don’t believe it, question your difficult stories and see

I’ve been watching a retreat called Being With Byron Katie all weekend on a big screen with a truly fabulous group of people.

They came from many corners of Washington, Oregon and California.

With one thing in common.

Everyone has been touched by questioning their stressful stories.

The beliefs or repetitive memories that say “this world is dangerous” or “my life has been a sham” or “reality is treacherous.”

I am reminded, by being with Katie for 4 days of live video sessions for six hours per day, that this work is absolutely transformational….

….and ANYONE can do it.

People raised their hands sometimes from the in-person audience of almost 500 people doing The Work with Katie in Switzerland.

They would ask questions that are familiar.

This is confusing. There are so many thoughts. Where could I even begin? I just have a bad feeling sometimes about the world, it’s not connected to any specific “thought” so what do I do then? What if the one I have trouble with is ME?

 

Katie responds to each person with love, kindness, and an invitation.

Follow the simple directions.

First, find one moment in time, one situation where you really feel reality was horrifying. One moment where you were raging angry.

Only one.

Katie asked several people, as they wandered through a wild inner field of brambles and snags and long stories and heavy beliefs, trying to explain, feeling confused….

….have you ever been angry? Or resentful?

Go back to the first troubled memory, if you need to.

What were you thinking in that moment?

Write it down.

Follow the questions on the Judge Your Neighbor worksheet.

This is the first part of doing The Work.

You’re going to look at what you object to, with such closeness you are practically back there in the middle of that difficult situation.

The mind is so powerful, you might cry, or feel adrenaline, or rage right here while you remember.

Good.

Instead of trying to escape this horrible feeling and terrible memory, and say affirmations, or feel so desperate, or drink or overeat or smoke….

….sit in it.

You are meditating on this human condition. You were there. Call it back.

Enter it.

Have you ever said to yourself “don’t think about that crushing situation! Get a grip on your mind, think about pink daisies and happy times instead!”

I notice that didn’t work for me.

In fact, the more I did that, the angrier or more terrified I actually got.

I really do get the saying “what you resist, persists”.

It wants to be reconciled, it wants to be heard, it wants acknowledgment.

A woman did The Work with Katie that brought me to tears.

When her daughter was 2, this woman went to see her father. This man was her daughter’s grandpa. The two year old was meeting grandpa for the first time.

An incident occurred.

Grandpa hit the two-year old.

This woman (mother of the two year old) went into a flying rage at her father. “If you ever hit my child again…..!”

Trouble and silence and unhappiness and everyone feeling crushed(except maybe the two year old, who forgot about it almost immediately).

For 19 years.

(The two year old is now 21).

As this woman questioned her past horrible memory, this experience with her father and her daughter, she discovered that the actual “hit” lasted a second.

But in her resentment, she hit her own father AND herself with guilt, for 19 years.

I know when something “hard” has happened in my own life.

I tell the story to all my close friends.

“She betrayed me”. Or “he abused me.” Or “he abandoned me”. Or “he hurt me”. Or “it almost killed me”.

So it didn’t happen only once, it happened all those times of retelling the sordid tale.

Who would I be without the belief I was wronged?

Without the thought I was a victim?

Without the thought there is no support here on planet earth?

Without the thought (this is incredible) that something TERRIBLE happened that I can never get over?

I notice I’ve so far gotten over everything that’s ever happened.

Only my mind has logged and recorded and repeated back to me all the tough times.

Thank you for sharing, dear mind.

I know you mean well.

Thanks for continuously remembering it and persisting so brilliantly. You kept coming back until I slowed down and meditated on each situation, in silence.

And as soon as I got really, really silent and quiet, I noticed the goodness in this present moment.

What could be more astonishing than that?

Nothing. 

Literally….Magical Mysterious Nothing.

Deep bow to Byron Katie whose voice of wisdom it turns out is actually my voice of wisdom.

Deep bow to whatever is within me that hears the truth.

“Everything I need in order to know the Truth, is given to me in the Silence. I call it The Work.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love,

Grace

P.S. I love you even if I’ve never met you, and you’re reading these words. You’re amazing.

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This Night Was Perfect

Answering two questions before grace note:

1) Yes, you can join Summer Camp any time, any call. We’ve only just begun. We’ve got almost-daily inquiry sessions until August 7th. Sliding scale, come to one, come to all of them–your choice. Come no matter what you can pay, really. Everyone is welcome here.

We’re questioning thoughts that drive us crazy or bring us sadness or suffering. Life-changing work.

2) Peace Talk podcast is on itunes and the episode on Competition is released….Peace Talk is a short 5-10 minute talk 3 times a week about peace, thought, reality, inquiry and grace. I’d love to hear if you’ve ever had fun with competition in your life, like the story I share in this episode 73.

**********

Thank goodness I stopped by the lodge where Being With Byron Katie starts on Saturday.

We were doing a quick tech check.

Just a short drive-by to make sure all the gizmos talk with one another, and we can easily connect via internet.

Internet, check.

Beautiful big screen, check.

Lovely space, check.

Actual connection to TV screen via my computer, not check.

The host gets bags of wires, cords, plug-ins from a closet.

We’re unplugging and pushing things into the side of my laptop. Nothing fits. You can see the hole sizes already, they will not be working. Male cords, female cords. Nada.

I call Apple.

Over there, my husband is working with the house-owner to hook up a test ipad for an alternative (which doesn’t work) and I am on the phone forever as the help center caller finds what kind of computer I have using the serial number, and locates a photo of the HDMI doo-hicky that needs to plug into it.

I am truly on the phone for an entire hour.

I order some kind of part, adding $18 for practically-emergency fast delivery.

My stomach growls.

The woman at the computer help center says “hey, I see your email so I looked at your website just now and I used to work at the Stress Management Center of America!” We wind up having the sweetest conversation ever about her five years in employment there, and the benefits of stress reduction.

Even though, I’m like “OK, that’s great and NOW I have to go!”

But I just can’t find a problem.

It seems like I should.

My husband and I aren’t at dinner until 9 pm, and I’m starving (I think).

But it’s fun, adventurous, and entertaining.

And we’ll have a working Big Screen with Katie on it starting on Saturday.

What could be more fun than that?

“The world is perfect. As you question your mind, this becomes more and more obvious. Mind changes, and as a result, the world changes. A clear mind heals everything that needs to be healed. 

It can never be fooled into believing that there is one speck out of order.” ~ Byron Katie

Much love,
Grace
P.S. Really, if you wanted to come to Summer Camp, hit reply and email me.
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To See It As It Really Is, Is Truly Love

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To see it as it really is, is true love

My husband wrote to me yesterday from work on email.

What are you doing tomorrow?

I replied without batting an eyelid….

….one-for-one call at 8 am, Year of Inquiry group from 9-10:30 am, gym workout or bike ride 11-12:30 pm, coaching call from 1-2:30 pm, individual session 3-4 pm, Summer Camp group call 5-6:30 pm.

I then continued creating my Peace Talk podcast on Competition.

(It was about fun juicy parts of competition–and maybe not what you’d expect me to say. Let me know if competition ever works for you, I’d love to hear your stories, and you can hear one of mine on this episode).

Yeah, I guess that’s a pretty full day, I thought.

Nothing that unusual.

Tuesdays roll like that lately.

Mondays are more creative-type days. I try not to schedule too many sessions with people. Although I still had a few.

Even so, I was still working at 10:35 last night on the podcast.

Then, it occurred to me.

Tomorrow’s my wedding anniversary.

Oh!

I went and found my husband, who had been home a few hours.

“Did you ask me earlier today about my schedule tomorrow because it’s our anniversary?”

Yes. He took the day off.

Hilarious.

We laughed about my schedule, and how it never occurred to me that it was 7/7 and doing something special might be fun.

And it was over.

Now….some people might say that sounds very unromantic. But weare planning on going out for a late dinner.

The thing is, the freedom and flexibility we have with each other is incredible.

Not having expectations about what should happen, or shouldn’t happen, is the sweetest ease in relationship.

Until.

Shouldn’t he care more that I completely forgot about our anniversary? Shouldn’t he have planned on taking a day off a bit earlier, so I could clear some of my day perhaps?

Yeah.

This is a little too smooth, easy and flexible!

Ha ha, I am chuckling already….but let’s take a look at this flip-flopping mind and all it’s crazy perceptions.

Who would I be if I didn’t have the thought that anything should happen, but I let myself have fun thinking about what would be most pleasurable?

I might ask him to share breakfast and being together for 30 minutes outside at the backyard picnic table on a summer morning.

Rather than disappointment, or starting to think the day could have been planned better or improved….

….or falling into that easy position of being a helpless critical victim….I might be much more creative.

Maybe I’ll ask him on a short walk between 4 and 5 pm.

Instead of “this should be this/that” I’d imagine what sounds sweet.

I turn those flare-up thoughts all back around and return to appreciation for what is here. Easy, light, no obligation. A way of relating that is about freedom.

“What does it mean to love? It means to see a person, a thing, a situation, as it really is and not as you imagine it to be, and to give it the response it deserves. You cannot love what you do not even see. And what prevents you from seeing? Your concepts, your categories, your prejudices and projections, your needs and attachments, the labels you have drawn from your conditioning and from your experiences. Seeing is the most arduous thing a human can undertake. For it calls for a disciplined, alert mind, whereas most people would much rather lapse into mental laziness than take the trouble to see each person and thing anew in present-moment freshness.” ~ Anthony DeMello in The Way To Love pg. 138

Much love,
Grace
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“Terrible” Is In The Mind…And Gathering With Others Helps Us Recognize It

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Where two or more are gathered….discovering reality together

I don’t know why and it strikes me as pretty strange….

….but my usual first knee-jerk reaction (like when the doctor hits your knee to see if you have a spontaneous reflex) to the idea of sitting quietly by myself, all alone, is….

.…nnnnnnnnooooooooooooooooooo!!!

Kick back and enjoy my own company?

Say nothing, hear nothing, have no conversations with others?

Hold still? Simply relax? Stare out the window?

Isn’t that kind of boring?

Or worse…..

…..isn’t it maddening?

When I first sat still in a meditation retreat, I thought I’d strangle something.

Visions went through my head of standing on my meditation chair and yelling.

“What’s going on here, people?!!! Why are you here?!!”

Then I wanted to leave.

Then I raised my hand to be called on, to go to the microphone and SPEAK.

Part of my motive in raising my hand was to converse, liven things up, and see if there was a way to manage my apparent nervousness about silence and being on my own.

I couldn’t sleep well, I felt like pacing.

Now, when I look back on that experience many years ago, I crack up.

There’s a Monty Python skit (an English comedy troupe who had a British TV show, followed by several movies, in the 1970s) where someone is punished for bad behavior.

They have to sit in the Comfy Chair.

“No! Not the Comfy Chair!!!” (click to see the skit).

For me, it was the same.

I didn’t know that the silence, quiet, simpleness and beauty of resting would be the most incredible experience eventually, and all I was ever really looking for.

Comfort with my own mind, body, perceptions, life.

I wanted comfort, and thought I didn’t have it.

Because my mind raced so wildly, with so many stressful thoughts, that it wasn’t all that fun to sit still.

I’d start thinking.

 

I’d think dreadful, horrifying, sad, or destructive thoughts. I only needed a few minutes to get going on something that produced stress in my body, or a broken heart.

And I couldn’t stop it!

The best way I found to slow down the mind, relax, and discover balance and the beauty of silence and my own company….

….was to give my mind a project.

Investigating the Truth.

Questioning reality.

Now THAT, dear friends, was a worthy and awe-inspiring project. My mind LOVED projects.

It LOVED problems. Because it wants to SOLVE problems.

Now….

….if I had needed to do this all alone in a vacuum, guess what likely would have happened?

We don’t know for sure.

But I might have taken myself out. Bullet to the head.

I am very stubborn though (it comes in handy sometimes), and an equal part of me was determined to find peace without destruction.

So while this sounds quite dramatic, it wasn’t true.

I’m still here.

Other People kept showing me a kinder reality. They did things like offer meditation retreats, write books, share themselves and their stories of freedom. They gave me hugs, and gave me criticism.

I learned so much from other people. I learned I was definitely in NO WAY doing this life on my own.

(It sounds funny to me now, because I perceive now that there is absolutely nothing that I do on my own. Ever.)

What I continue to find to this very day….

….is that connecting with others….

….whether one other human being, or ten others, or an entire stadium full of humans….

….multiplies my enlightenment exponentially.

Like the beautiful biblical saying “where two or more are gathered in my name, there am I with them….”

Where me and others are gathered with the intention to understand, come to rest, uncover truth and love, Reality is there with us. Love is there with us. Awareness is there with us.

So for me, yesterday morning was a most beautiful energy as almost 20 people gathered together on the phone (some people used skype) to be there, planting themselves into the still space of inquiry.

I love who shows up and the energy of each and every person, even if they choose to listen only and follow along.

We investigated two very stressful beliefs: a) they should clean up, and b) someone might break in.

How marvelous to take a deep look at these two experiences in life.

I could find instantly how I have had the thought that someone should clean up their mess, whether their internal mess or their actual physical mess.

Guess who should really clean up the mess?

And then the fabulous and worrisome common belief that someone might break into my home, steal or vandalize things, and I would feel loss.

Who would I be without THIS stressful thought?

So much freer. I might even find advantages to having things stolen, taken away, ripped off….

….and let go of the attachment and grabbiness of believing I won’t be able to replace it, I won’t be safe, or that my happiness depends on keeping my stuff.

Thank you to everyone who came to do The Work with me yesterday.

If you’re ready to continue, to plug away at thoughts one by one, practicing every day or every week (with a few Saturday breaks) for five whole weeks….

….you are welcome to join us.

I call it Summer Camp for The Mind because your mind gets to go to camp, and play in this “project” called believing-in-suffering, and practicing-how-to-un-do it.

My favorite!

You can really join any time. Check the schedule and see if it works for you to come on board at the appointed time(s) and allow yourself to sit in inquiry.

You can speak up, or follow along quietly with the group.

No calls are recorded, so you can freely listen, freely share, and whatever’s on the call stays on the call.

Here are the exact times for every day of the week for Summer Camp, and you can read more about how teleconferences work and what it’s like right HERE.

Oh, and it’s sliding scale registration.

I’ll be with you every step of the way, and anyone who has questions, gets confused, is nervous, or wants extra help….

….I am here to serve to dissolve stressful thinking, and bring forward a sweet, happy, kind and joyful life.

Thank you for joining me to do it. You are not alone.

At least this is the story that keeps on showing up in my life, and I like this story….

….so I’ll keep it.

“Nothing terrible has ever happened except in our thinking. Reality is always good, even in situations that seem like nightmares. The story we tell is the only nightmare that we have lived. When I say that he worst that can happen is a belief, I am being literal. The worst that can happen to you is your uninvestigated belief system.”~Byron Katie in Loving What Is pg. 228

Much love,
Grace
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Who Would You Be With A Fun Story of Today?

Tomorrow! Free telesession to everyone 8-10 am to do The Work from start to finish.

Join live using skype or your phone….join online in listen-only mode by clicking the link below.

All you need is a pen, paper or a device for note-taking, and your open mind.

Guest pin code: 305799#
Primary dial in number: (425) 440-5100
Skype: open keypad, enter “join.conference” and ‘call’ it, locate keypad again and enter pin code
Event Page for listen-only: http://iTeleseminar.com/71160861
******************

Meanwhile….today appears to be a holiday in the USA.

Guess what I’m doing, just for fun?

The Work!

I love investigating concepts about holidays, vacations, humanity, cultures, groups of people, dates, days and all I think they mean.

My grandmother died on USA Independence Day, 1986.

My son was born on Independence Day, 1994.

My son’s grandpa was born on Independence Day, 1924.

For me it is a day about birth and death. And I love that it’s an actual holiday.

I notice a story is born, a story then dies.

Then it reappears again a year later! Psyche!

Independence from the story, dependence on the story, independence again.

If you have a stressful thought about a date, including today, and what people are doing or not doing on it (or what YOU are doing or not doing on it)….

….you may want to begin with inquiring.

Is it true?

Are you absolutely sure?

Who would you be without your belief?

Can you turn your thought around to the complete opposite?

Can you expand beyond your ideas of right and wrong, and find a place within that’s independent of your stories?

A natural place, in us all, beyond thought.

The Peace of Wild Things by Wendell Barry
 
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
Much love,
Grace