Grace Bell is author of Grace Notes and facilitates individuals, groups, retreats and courses in The Work of Byron Katie. She supports people with eating issues, divorce, difficult feelings and relationship trouble to find peace.
If I do The Work, and become completely and totally fine with everything, no longer at war with reality….
….what would keep me from lying down on the couch, doing nothing, never planning, not trying, not getting organized, getting little done, never succeeding greatly, or caring about any upcoming activities?
If I love what is, then why bother making a to-do list, or having a goal, or creating plans for a desired outcome?
This is a very interesting question many people have about “loving what is” and what they imagine it might look like.
Could “loving what is” result in Nothing Happening? (Horrors!)
Wouldn’t that be….like….boring, or depressing, or apathetic?
Wouldn’t someone be a new-agey space case if they zoned into loving what is, all the time?
Good question.
And, no.
Notice how the mind will come at “loving what is” from every angle, just to make you doubt the process of inquiry?
I love doing The Work on this very concept….
….that doing The Work would lead to some kind of zombie brainwash, where you never cared or got upset, or made plans.
Who would you be without the belief that allowing everything to be as it is, or even loving what is, will be dangerously lacking in pro-activity or direction, or too passive or nicey-nice?
Who would you be if you really relaxed?
Woah.
I notice the less anxious, the less movement towards thinking about the future, the less focus on whatever terrible thing might happen later, or what terrible thing already happened…
…the more I’m in the sweet spot.
The middle.
Not full steam ahead, not lying on the ground.
Kind of an action, without great effort, without trying to hold back falsely.
“When you move in the Tao, you are always present. Life becomes absolutely simple. In the Tao, it’s easy to see what’s happening in life–it’s unfolding right in front of you. But if you have all kinds of reactions going on inside because you’re involved in the extremes, life seems confusing. That’s because you’re confused, not because life’s confusing….Eventually you will see that in the way of the Tao you’re not going to wake up, see what to do, and then go do it. In the Tao, you are blind, and you have to learn how to be blind.” ~ Michael Singer
All I know is, the more I do The Work, the more I question what my mind thinks is true and has stories about…
…the less frantic, worried or stressful energy, the fewer detailed plans.
But as Byron Katie says, I still pack my bags if I’m going on a trip, and leave at the appropriate time to get to the airport.
Feeling Pain? Take Care of Yourself, But Also Do The Work
Have you ever had pain that appeared slowly, over time, where you weren’t sure what you did, how it happened….
….but you find yourself hurting, overwhelmed, and practically all attention directly on the pain.
I’m talking physical pain, but, this can happen with emotional pain as well.
All you can think is “get me outta here!” or “where’s the pain killer!” or “OK, OK, you have my attention!”
Many will think of these moments as decisive. Something cracked, they couldn’t take it anymore.
Perhaps a dreadful sense of destruction–it’s over, done, finished.
Recently, something changed with my easily-healing hamstring injury from last year.
Oh sure, there were moments in the past six months when I felt I might have overdone it on the dance floor, or pushed a little too hard at the gym….
….but this was different.
A squeezing, deep, strange nerve-like clutching pain starting in the hamstring I hurt and beaming up into my ribcage.
Several days went by. It got worse and worse.
I finally took motrin, and called the doctor.
And went to a chiropractor, and followed the next simple instructions for what was advised since being pain-free was desirable.
We’re very interested in being free from pain, especially when it really hurts.
We get motivated to move towards whatever “pain-free” looks like.
But what if, no matter what you “do” there is no “pain-free”?
Whew. Dang.
Then what?
This is broken. It can’t be healed. I hurt. Ouch.
Who would you be without the belief you absolutely MUST find, do, fix something, even in the middle of excruciating pain?
Who would I be?
Strangely….someone hurting physically….but somehow, without the discouragement, or sadness, or dramatic images of doom.
Movement happens.
I move towards researching what helps, who can help, making decisions, collecting more information.
Simply doing everything with an open, don’t-know mind.
And how very odd…..
….Here’s what I am amazed to see: it hurts but I am not upset about it.
No fear, no urgency, no sadness….unless there is.
No trying to ignore it.
“I pour hot tea from a kettle into a cup, and I don’t see the cup is cracked, and the hot tea spills out onto my left hand. Ow! What an adventure! Even as my hand starts to throb, I’m aware that waht I’m watching is absolute perfection. How can I believe that my hand is not supposed to be scalded when it is? Why would I move from reality into a fantasy of what my hand should be? When inquiry is alive inside you, thoughts don’t pull you away from loving whatever happens, as it happens. Pain is always on its way out; it’s the story of a past. All the pain we have ever suffered, all the pain that any human being on this planet has ever suffered, is gone in this present moment. We live in a state of grace.” ~ Byron Katie
I’d love your review in Itunes (check 3 minute video on my website to see how to submit a review if you’ve never done it before, by clickingHERE).
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Meanwhile….long long ago (yesterday afternoon)….
….I forgot all about podcasts, emails, anything-computer.
There was a knock on the door.
I was sitting in my yoga pants and slippers. Dishes were on the counter. Laundry was half way finished so the laundry basket was in the middle of the kitchen floor full of dirty clothes. The carpet had pine needles all over it. The kitchen table had piles of sheet music, school forms, unopened mail and overdue library books. My headphones from skype sessions were lying piled on top of a dish cloth. Through an open door, the bed was unmade and a package of recently opened toilet paper rolls was leaning on a chair.
Oh.
The two guys are here to do an energy audit of our little cottage, analyzing the “holes” in the house and why there may be so much heat being used for such a tiny little place.
They would need to go into every room.
Stomach sinking.
EMERGENCY! I NEED TO CLEAN UP!
This is embarrassing!
Smile anyway. Welcome official-looking men! No problem, come right in!
(Can I stand in front of the laundry basket and they might not see it? Maybe they won’t notice that I look like I’m wearing what I slept in last night. Since I am.)
They are thinking I don’t care about my house. They are wondering why would someone like ME of all people request an energy analysis of my home?
I obviously have no pride.
One of the men notes there is a standing electric radiator heater in the garage.
“Its perfectly fine you have this kind of heater, all the low income housing uses these kinds of heaters because they are safer.”
SEE!!!!
He thinks I’m low income housing. I’ve chosen this tiny house to live in. It’s messy and trashy.
He shouldn’t think I’m poor!!!!!
I could feel the heat rising in my torso. I wanted a do-over. Not be surprised by their knock on the door. Firm, prepared, powerful, in control.
So they wouldn’t assume I’m in poverty.
Ha ha!
Who would I be without the thought that they shouldn’t think I’m poor? Who would I be without the belief that I AM poor?
Without the thought that being in this cute little cottage means I don’t have much money, and not having much money means being “poor” and being poor means I must not be trying or caring, and not trying or caring is something to be ashamed of?
Who would I be without this crazy story swarming in all in a split second?
Laughing at the insanity of the mind.
Who would I be without fearing judgment, in that moment?
I’d be having a blast talking with these two interesting characters who have arrived with lots of equipment, questions, pencils and graph paper to have a look at a structure called “my house” (which really isn’t).
How fun that they’re here! How curious, fascinating, even helpful!
Sigh.
I turn the story around: these men with calculators and ladders arriving, and their comments, do NOT mean I am poor. Being messy does not mean I am poor. Wearing pj’s doesn’t mean I’m poor. I am not poor. I don’t even know what “poor” is exactly, or what’s wrong with it.
I am abundant, wealthy, proud, generous, unafraid, willing, welcoming, as I am.
“The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment: You create a good future by creating a good present…..Discontent, blaming, complaining, self-pity cannot serve as a foundation for a good future, no matter how much effort you make.” ~ Eckhart Tolle
I am nothing, not poor, not rich, not anything static or defined.
Ha ha!
Now that’s a bit lighter.
Who would you be without the belief that your home, your bank account, the number in it, your job or unemployment, means “you’re x”?
One of the best ways to see what you’re believing that bothers you most deeply…
…to not allow it to flicker by unnoticed…
…is to write your thoughts down.
Did you get a journal dedicated to investigating your thoughts, feelings and experiences around food?
Mine was red bound leather, thin, with beautiful quality paper in college ruled lines.
In this Binge Journal, I began to write about my feelings about food.
The first place I started was AFTER the binge, or overeating episode.
Because I couldn’t remember nor did I want to stop and write BEFORE I ate, when I was overwhelmed with cravings and confusion, or anger, or sadness.
But as soon as I gave myself the gift of writing after compulsive overeating, I had a much greater awareness of what had been going on a few hours earlier, when I was triggered to eat.
The writing showed me patterns and insight.
And one day, a huge lightbulb went off when I discovered that quite a few binge-eating episodes were preceded by an interaction where I felt criticized and angry.
All it took was awareness of this.
I didn’t even need to “do” anything with the anger or fear.
Noticing made all the difference.
I say more about keeping a journal and how it worked for me right here. Let me know how it goes for YOU.
Your inner world matters.
The urge to binge comes out of your relationship to it, and what has happened that bumps up against that inner experience.
“One of the essential requirements for true spiritual growth and deep personal transformation is coming to peace with pain. No expansion or evolution can take place without change, and periods of change are not always comfortable. Change involves challenging what is familiar to us and daring to question our traditional needs for safety, comfort, and control….Becoming familiar with this pain is part of your growth.” ~ Michael Singer
Click HERE to watch my short video on more about keeping a journal:
P.S. Eating Peace Workshop is a way in, to find a way out. There are two spots left for the upcoming 3 day retreat in Seattle. Click HERE to read more or to register.
It’s a little weird. I’m more of a writer than a talker.
(Although some of my sisters might argue that comment).
But still, it’s been strange to have this podcast creation process unfold.
A friend said “you should do that!”
He connected me with a coach and podcaster and said “tell her what to do”.
I followed the directions and almost the whole time was watching from the ceiling thinking….
…..“Really? You’re seriously doing this?”
Looks like I am, I said, as I unwrapped the new orange snowball microphone from the UPS box. Looks like I am, I said again, as I ordered an Itunes cover photo on fiverr. Looks like I am, as I watched youtubes of how to get the f*&$ing mic to actually start recording on my laptop.
“Really?” Said the voice.
You have nothing new to share. You ramble. You’re not that funny. People will smirk.
Looks like I am, anyway.
Perhaps this is one of the living turnarounds that happens when doing The Work.
I just can’t believe the voice saying “Stop, danger-danger Will Robinson, you might get criticized or judged or challenged or exposed! Help! Run for your life!”
(I know, I know, I tell on myself constantly in these Grace Notes, how could I possibly be more exposed?)
Who would YOU be without the belief that you have to be perfect, or even good (heh heh) to launch something?
“I sing because I’m happy.
I sing because I’m free.” ~ Gospel lyrics
You know that thing you’d like to try?
Who would you be without the belief you can’t do it?
Yippeeeeeee!
To listen to the podcast, search Grace Bell on Itunes in podcasts and you’ll find Peace Talk there.
Notice: if you search “Peace Talk” in Itunes or anywhere, it won’t even come up. It takes a few reviews to have it appear in search engines.
Which means…..I would sooooooooo love you to submit a quick review.
You can just say a few short words, you don’t hafta say much, only that you listened and you’re out there.
I am here to serve and help spread the peace movement, self-inquiry, The Work of Byron Katie, and the message that anyone can discover peace within.
You can too! Let’s do it!
Here’s a quick 3 minute video on how to write a review for a podcast on Itunes:
It came in the mail, the old-fashioned way. A card, and a long separate typed sheet, double-sided, with a lot of reflection on his life and his philosophies.
My first thought was how sweet to hear from him.
At first, a little jolt of adrenaline, a curiosity about what has happened in the years since we were dancing our dance.
And, since the relationship ended kinda funny (as in, he disappeared off the face of the earth involved in some kind of dark pursuit) I was reading along waiting for an apology.
Not exactly pure, open reading.
Hope reading. Like where you hope you’ll read what you wanna read.
So here I am about to begin again my teleclass on romance and pain and sexuality, questioning stress in lover relationships, and I’m noticing very clearly this little moment….
….watching myself fall right into wishing and waiting to be asked for forgiveness by a former love interest.
Interesting. Very interesting. I love how these things just arrive, for inquiry, without any planning.
My mind had speedy quick, without hardly a beat, gone to the place where I was a victim.
I was WRONGED.
You may notice you have a relationship or two (or five, or forty-three) where you have the lingering thought that you were wronged.
If you do, and it feels like a festering wound that won’t heal….
….then let’s get that belief faced full-on right now.
You may find relief, if you’ve been hurting.
First. Is it actually true that you be done wrong? Really?
YEAH! That was bunk! (Punching the air).
OK, got it. You’re really pissed.
How do you react when you believe that person messed you up, hurt you, abandoned you, shorted you, conned you, fooled you?
I feel *horrible*.
I’m mean to other possible partners, actually. Or afraid. I choose and move based on avoiding repeat pain. I lick my wounds. I don’t step out.
“As long as you think that the cause of your problem is ‘out there’–as long as you think that anyone or anything is responsible for your suffering–the situation is hopeless.” ~ Byron Katie
So who would I be without my belief that I was wronged?
I’m not saying it wasn’t hard, or brutal, or that it could be repeated, or that you deserved it.
Only who you would be without the belief you were the victim? That you are owed an apology?
Huh. Wow.
Really?
Well, I’d be lighter. I’d be moved on to other things. I’d be remembering and reflecting and allowing that situation to heal, and be as it is.
I’d notice I’m happy now, and how much I learned and grew through that process. Like, a ton.
Without the belief that I’ve been wronged, I’d be free right here, right now.
“Love until your voice trembles, and your heart pounds, and your legs shake, and your philosophies crumble to dust, and your cleverness bows its head in shame and in reverence. And you will be taken to the darkest places, and your heart will be set on fire by the ones to whom you were never able to open your heart, and you will be reminded of what you have always, secretly, known: In time, you will forget everything, except how to die, and how to love.” ~ Jeff Foster
I turn the thought around: I have not been wronged by anyone, I wronged myself (by not speaking up, by being dishonest, by clinging), I wronged others in the same way I thought they wronged me.
I do not need any apology, except for myself, from myself.
The letter had no apology written in it, but I knew what to do now.
I whispered to myself.
I am sooooo sorry honey.
I didn’t listen to you, I was confused, I forgot wholeness without chasing after other people, I didn’t listen to you, I didn’t think you were good enough. You are incredible. You never leave, no matter what I do or say, or forget. Thank you, I love you.
Now that’s the best apology ever.
If you’re up for joining an 8 week teleclass on looking for love in all the wrong places and the adventure of contact with others, then join us for Romance, Passion and Healing….
…..We’re looking at LOVE when it comes to lovers, mates, spouses, ex’s, strangers, or partners of any kind and how to end the suffering we’ve experienced in their name.
Click here to read more, or register for the class.
It has to be good, it must go the way I want, I want it to unfold like this (not that), this needs to be fun, it better be right.
Nervous about romance? Teleclass starting Thursday 1/22 to question your stressful thinking, and change your life when it comes to partners—long term, broken-up, dating, divorced, confused—every difficult situation can be lightened through The Work of Byron Katie
Have you ever had these ideas about something coming up on your calendar?
Oh boy.
When it goes well, it’s awesome! Hand clapping! Yay! I must be doing something right!
And if it doesn’t.
Oh rats.
This is terrible. A sinking feeling. Depressed, disappointed, worried, unhappy. I must be doing something wrong!
Last week I had many people writing to me about the upcoming teleclass on “sexuality”, but few people committing to join.
This is the ONLY teleclass where people are so hesitant, in comparison to the other teleclasses I teach on food, parenting, relationships, illness/death and money.
People are skittish, nervous.
Do we have to say everything out loud, someone asked?
Once during the very first session, someone said they wrote in their notebook today’s date, and The “S” Teleclass.
She couldn’t write “Sexuality”.
I might need to name it something different….like The Work of Byron Katie on attraction, touch, romance and lovers.
In fact, that sounds pretty good!
Why didn’t I think of that before??!!
But even as I consider new names for the class, or new ways to offer or help on this topic, or new ways to show up as a guide on the road to the end of suffering around romance, lust and attraction…
….I can even do The Work on the idea that changing this teleclass neeeeeeeds to happen.
What if the way it is going is just right?
Who would I be without the belief that it needs to go “well”, be full of participants sooner than later, be popular, that people should get how awesome this class is, people shouldn’t feel worried about talking about *s–*?
How would I really feel without the thought that the way its going is wrong, or it could be better another way than this?
Woah.
What an eye-opener.
Suddenly…without the belief that the class should be filling sooner, people should jump at the chance to speak openly about sexual feelings, I remember how it feels to not think anything should be any different than it is.
Quite stunning really.
Not one thing out of place. Can you get a taste of it?
What if the pain, the things you don’t like, your daily routines or people you feel out of sorts with, are really allowed to be as they are?
What if you didn’t resist them, or argue about them, or complain, or fight? What if it could all be here?
Even my resistance itself, what if that was OK, too?
“It isn’t getting what we want that makes us happy. It’s being happy with whatever we experience–or perhaps I should say, being happy regardless what we experience. To some people this will sound like a defeatist attitude, settling for mediocrity rather than striving for more. Yet nothing in the statement says that we can’t strive, or create any number of activities or experiences. Simply that we are happy with whatever we experience, even the striving.” ~ Peter Ralston in The Book of Not Knowing
I turn the beliefs around to try them on: It does NOT have to be “good”, it must go the way it goes, I want it to unfold like this and no other way, this needs to NOT be fun, if it isn’t.
How could I find just a drop of openness to these thoughts, instead of their opposites that I was automatically thinking before?
Well.
I certainly notice it’s more fun to lighten up about the way this thing is going, that’s for dang sure.
The way it’s going shows me what not to pursue, what to drop, if there’s a turn needed along the path.
The way my class is going, for example, shows me there’s something not yet understood about the laughter and lightness possible when doing The Work on romance, or who-is-doing-what- in-the-bedroom…..
…..and I can express what its like more clearly, or make it safer.
Can you find examples of why the way your thing is going is just perfect (even your romantic relationship status) how there might be advantages (even if it doesn’t seem like it) or how you benefit by the way its unfolding?
Share them with me, I’d love to hear.
And meanwhile….
….if you have a broken heart, or struggle, or sadness about something that’s gone down around romance or physical touch, or your expectations about it are getting shattered….
….then you may want to consider joining a small group of journeyers along the path to deeply question your thoughts about sexuality and romance.
This includes people sleeping with you, people sleeping with other people, people making that strange move you didn’t get, you not being happy or thrilled, you feeling bereft or anxious, him acting weird, her acting weird, you feeling worried about what to say.
Anything stressful is the perfect situation for inquiry.
If you can un-do your painful beliefs (notice I said painful beliefs–you can keep the fun, exciting ones) then you may find a whole new world of possibilities when it comes to partnership and love, right in front of you.
We’re starting this coming Thursday at 10 am Pacific Time for 90 minutes. We meet 8 weeks. This class MAY be for Women Only, if enough interested women really want that boundary. I do have interested men, so speak up today (write grace@workwithgrace.com) to ask questions or find out more.
I give you time, respect and attention as a facilitator of The Work.
If you missed my interview with certified facilitator of The Work, Celeste Gabrielle, head to my youtube channel and watch HERE.(There are more and more interviews around self-inquiry added over time, and I might get better at making videos too, who knows.)
For me it is profoundly inspiring to find out the personal stories of people, just like you and me, who found self-inquiry in the form of The Work of Byron Katie and/or other inquiry, and how it changed their lives and brought awakening to their world.
Regular peeps.
This “work” of self-inquiry….it’s called “work” because it kinda is, right?
You direct your attention, you focus, you return to the questions, you go out and in like breath, you get a light-bulb that goes off, you’re inspired, you wonder, your mind works and buzzes, you behave differently, you speak or don’t speak in new ways, you feel different….
….it’s so exciting.
The gears start, and keep going.
No longer stuck. No longer repeating the exact same thoughts over and over and over again.
You actually move on to the next stressful thought ready for inquiry, maybe you rotate back to a similar situation but find yourself acting different this time—just a wee bit.
That tiny difference makes a huge difference….
….like the butterfly wings flapping on the other side of Figi or whatever make a storm occur weeks later on the other side of the planet.
Movement, insight, and joy happen.
Or, it’s discovered that it was there all along, we just didn’t see it until we looked more closely.
The thing I love most about The Work and simply contemplating magnificent questions about life and my perceptions of it….
….is that it doesn’t take me doing years and years of therapy, it doesn’t take finding a perfect guru, it doesn’t take money, it doesn’t take death, it doesn’t take finding true love, it doesn’t take having a healthy body…..
…..it takes whatever it takes.
All these things are amazing, and some of them are indeed part of the journey for some people.
But there are no absolutes, and nothing is required.
Your life will show you what to question.
All you have to do (and it’s not even a “have to” really) is answer the simple questions.
Your life, and your inner brilliant wise silence, will show you how to answer.
And oh so wonderful to hear other people’s adventures along this path called life!
They help us connect and turn us back to our own journeys….
….and how we are all one and the same, with apparently different details, flavors, colors, and incidents.
How has self-inquiry helped you along your life path?
I’d love to know!
Leave a comment below or you can also leave a comment when you watch on youtube in the comments section. It’s so much fun to share. And it may mean more than you know for someone else.
Your life matters.
Because.
“What would it be like if you didn’t need to struggle, if you didn’t need to make an effort to find peace and happiness? What would that feel like now? And just take a moment to be quiet and see if peace or stillness is with you in this moment.” ~ Adyashanti
Many people are aware there’s an impact of their own thinking on their daily life.
You’re thinking about something so deeply, you’re “lost in thought”.
Something uncomfortable happens, a person says something mean to you, you come across a loud argument in the street, you get pulled over by a policeman when driving, you receive sad news on email.
These kinds of situations may be a little more clear.
It just happened this morning, you can feel the way the adrenaline rushed through you, or you got tearful.
But what about the very old experiences, from long ago, way in the past, mostly forgotten.
Except.
You always seem to have the same kind of experience with men who you’re also attracted to.
Or, you generally dislike your bosses or co-workers, the ones who act like “x” (you know the ones).
Or, just when you’ve got some money in the bank, you have a big unexpected expense like your car breaks down.
Something uncomfortable keeps repeating itself, maybe in different flavors or colors….
….but the root of it is very old.
Because it feels familiar, like you’ve been having these kinds of experiences for a long time.
Two of the most powerful people to do The Work on are (drum roll)…..
…..mom and dad.
You may love them very deeply.
It’s not about criticizing them….and they may have died many, many years ago.
But those people carried many beliefs, that they learned from their ancestors before them, and passed them along very innocently.
Some of these beliefs may be creating concern, pain, angst, sadness, longing, or anger around love, intimacy, affection or touch.
It’s likely you caught a few at least.
Just saying.
Still room in the newly revised Our Wonderful Sexuality teleclass starting next Thursday. Sign up by clicking HERE.
Much love, Grace
P.S. I interviewed my next Certified Facilitator of The Work of Byron Katie, my friend Celeste Gabrielle. She is a true example of someone who questioned her beliefs, especially about her father, and changed her relationship to all men. Click to watch it!
He cheated on me. I was betrayed. She abandoned me.
This orientation to partnership is very common.
Many times, in working with others about romantic relationships, they will speak these words.
I love the way the word “cheated” comes up.
People use this word to describe going off diets (I cheated on my diet) or money (he cheated me out of my fair share) or love.
When you use the word “cheated”….
….about anything…
….you are sitting right in the center of pain.
You are shouting from the rooftops that YOU are WRONGED, that you are worthy of being cheated on, that you are damaged.
I know it hurts. I do understand. I’ve had the very same thoughts!
But inquiring and seeing, with more open eyes instead of the eyes of a victim, can be the most liberating thing ever.
People will say “I can’t let go of how hurt I was” like it means they will lose a battle.
If you say this, you may be losing already, you may be in a battle getting beaten to a pulp, so you may as well look more closely and see.
Let’s do it!
He or she cheated on you.
Is that true?
Yes! Disaster! Life story changed! The most terrible horrible thing happened! The worst that I could imagine came true!
But who would you be without the belief that it is even possible to be cheated on?
Weird, I know.
It’s such a long, abiding story of lover relationships. We guaranteed to remain true to each other, only, and never change our minds.
(Impossible to guarantee anything, have you noticed?)
But really. What if it was not cheating? What if there was no such thing?
What if there was simply human being moving from here, to over there, following their own impulses or desires or interests?
Can you really vow to never have a thought, a desire, an attraction towards more than one person….
….or even if you naturally keep this vow just because of the way you are without trying….
….can you really expect or demand that someone else sees only you 100% of the time without any smithereen of an interest in anyone else?
Who would you really be without the belief that you need that person’s attention, love, desire, commitment or vow?
Wow.
For me, the freedom was at first frightening. And then, incredible.
Natural. Soaring.
What if the thing that happened with someone else is an invitation to something even better, different?
What if you could find something brilliant in the experience, even of your own imagination moving towards someone else when you’re apparently in a committed relationship?
What if you used all this as exploration, curious development, wonder?
When I was in a committed relationship once, I watched myself get sparked by another (in horror and guilt some of the time, when I was believing the old relationship thoughts).
When I cut the control, stopped trying to hide it like it was a sin or something, I noticed the deep lack of integrity within my thinking….
….but also the joy in celebrating the beauty I saw.
For me, I brought the conversation very openly to my current partner, who I loved and adored, and as it turned out, we became closer than ever. The intimacy got deeper between us.
I mostly learned about myself and seduction, fun, romance, connection and all the variations it can take….sometimes unexpectedly.
What I noticed was I loved clarity, honesty, no secrets, including my own.
What if you were completely and totally free?
“By watching your mind, you will notice that it is engaged in the process of trying to make everything okay….When you see the mind telling you how to fix the world and everyone in it in order to suit yourself, just don’t listen….free your energies so you can free yourself. Right in the midst of your daily life, by untethering yourself from the bondage of your psyche, you actually have the ability to steal freedom for your soul. This freedom is so great it has been given a special name–liberation.” ~ Michael Singer
If you’re wanting to finding love, romance, sexuality, connecting, bonding, enmeshing, or break-ups….
….and the “problems” they’ve brought you to bring liberation instead….
….then join me in the 8 week teleclass Our Wonderful Sexuality starting next week on Thursdays. 10 am Pacific/1:00 pm Eastern/6:00 pm UK. Click HERE to register or write grace@workwithgrace.com with questions.
