In 1000 Names For Joy written by Steven Mitchell and Byron Katie together, the preface is by Steven, who is Katie’s husband. He is also a famous translator of mystic and ancient works and translated the Tao Te Ching in 1986.
Katie, who had no background in spiritual teachings and studies, asked Steven what Taomeant. He writes that he told her it meant “the way” or “what is”.
So I have a story of the world. We all do. The interesting thing to notice is how this reality changes, constantly in fact.
And yet some of the painful beliefs, if left to their own devices, repeat themselves over and over and get locked into a well-worn path, like the way footsteps get sunken right into stone steps of castles and stairwells that have been there for hundreds and hundreds of years.
If you took a rock and pressed a pin across its surface every day for a year in the same spot, without even much pressure or effort, at the end of the year you would have a groove right across the rock.
The only way out that I’ve really found that feels genuine and authentic, is to look at what my beliefs about the world are, especially the ones that feel depressing, frightening, or frustrating.
Here are a few beliefs I started thinking when I was really young:
- Bad things can happen unexpectedly, randomly, any moment, night or day
- Everyone dies, and this is frightening because we don’t know what it’s like after death
- Dying hurts
- People can be dangerous, they hurt us emotionally or physically
- I’m not sure what is really true…and this is alarming! I’m supposed to know!
- If I don’t inhabit this body, then I might not exist anymore….and that is scary
- I have to do positive things, get positive things, learn positive things, think positive things if I want a happy life
- God doesn’t care that bad things happen, since they happen (is God busy? mean? lackadaisical? uninterested? what gives?)
Steven Mitchell goes on to say in the preface of 1000 Names that no one knows how to “let go”. Here come the thoughts. You’re already thinking them, you can’t stop them. They flow in like a river.
But we can question the thoughts that produce suffering. As a matter of fact, it seems this is all we can do. Either believe the ideas that come along, or question them. This means looking in a deep way, with courage.
Some of us a hard nuts to crack, so the courage to look and investigate our thinking comes only after very acute suffering (I speak for myself!). In fact, for me, I would say that I’m not sure I even am all that courageous.
If something besides questioning my thoughts had worked that seemed a little easier, then I probably would have taken it. Like a pill. But as I’ve mentioned before, none of the usual devices ever worked, and they sure didn’t last long. Everything that relieved pain did it only temporarily, and then that thing itself caused MORE pain.
So what if I look at the turnarounds to these basic childhood beliefs:
- Things happen right when they need to, it’s OK, I don’t have to know ahead of time, and by the way, good things can happen randomly as well, day or night
- Everyone dies and it’s exciting, who am I to say it’s “bad”
- Dying does not hurt, dying heals
- People are not dangerous at all, they can’t hurt us emotionally or physically–we always heal, we always make discoveries, people help us
- I’m not supposed to know, the world runs itself without my opinion
- If I don’t exist in this body, what’s the problem? It’s “scary” if there isn’t a Grace Bell in the universe anymore? Really?
- I don’t have to do anything, have anything, learn anything, or think anything to have a happy life
- I have no idea what God is doing and maybe it doesn’t matter if God cares or not, all is actually quite well…and by the way, maybe those things that I think are bad that are happening all over the place are not actually bad.
Katie says that once she questioned her painful beliefs, they lost their power to cause pain. They became funny. They stopped even arising anymore.
What if the pain is a message saying “you know, you could stop dragging that pin across the rock every single day” or “pay attention, you might be believing something that is not actually true”.
Even the big, all-encompassing, great beliefs like “dying is bad”.
Much Love,
Grace