Wow, thank you to so many people who have written to ask for the link to the MasterClass Replays on ten barriers that derail, confuse, or make doing The Work meh instead of exciting….and how to dissolve them and go deeper.
Mostly because I can’t keep straight anymore who wanted the replay. I love you asked, so here it is. No opt-in necessary.
And because I seriously got so many requests, via facebook, email, and even two texts, I’m planning an encore. Yes, I’ll offer it one more time!
Wednesday, August 17th this very next week, at 2 pm Pacific.
To attend live, I will have you register, so those of you who really don’t want to hear about this masterclass again, won’t. If you want to sign up and join me, head over here. The advantage of being there live is I’ll read and answer all your questions out loud from the Q & A page, you’ll get to comment, share, and participate.
Which brings me to an interesting stressful thought around sharing, doing, creating, announcing, offering, promoting, and connecting to others in this world.
I need to NOT share too much.
Have you ever had this thought?
I’m not talking about the obvious arena for this stressful belief: running a small business, offering a service, needing to spread the word out in the community, also known as marketing.
I’ve had this thought when it comes to participating in a group discussion or conversation, at parties, in family gatherings!
I’ve had this belief about other people too….they’re sharing too much, they’re blabbing on and on, they take over the floor too often, they should put a lid on it!
Well….the way we can get the most juicy, deep clarity from this stressful observation that it’s possible to share too much, is to find a situation when someone did.
Do you know someone who shares, talks, speaks, tells too much?
I instantly had someone come to mind.
Man, what a motor mouth.
I picture myself sitting with him at a coffee house. He’s smiling and talking and keeps on saying “you know?” with his thick New York accent and keeps on going.
I can’t get a word in edgewise.
Does he even care about one single thing I might share or think?
Does he notice how he’s dominating the entire two hours we’ve had together? Jeezus, take a breath!
(Gosh. I also have two other people, entirely different people, who I also had the very exact same thoughts about. Hmmm. What’s the common denominator. Oh. That would be me. Um….Let’s keep going.)
He’s sharing too much.
Is it true?
Yes, oh lordy, yes. Why didn’t I say I had an appointment right after? I need to get outta here!
But can I absolutely know it’s true he’s sharing too much? Can I know it’s HIM who is the culprit? Can I know it’s too much, for me? For this moment? For him?
No.
I see I’m not saying anything. I’m not speaking up. He thinks I’m happy with the speed and quantity of this sharing. How would he know otherwise? I’m even smiling. I look engaged.
How do I react when I think he’s sharing too much?
I think about escaping, and doing it “politely” is the only alternative. All the blame is over there, on him. I miss the awareness that I am saying nothing, so there’s a vacuum. I miss my own fear of speaking up, of telling the truth, of participating fully and connecting with this friend genuinely.
I create a wall of separation.
I keep friends who don’t over-share, and I ditch the ones who do.
Oh dear. Embarrassing.
So who would I be without the belief he’s sharing too much, or that it’s even possible to over-share?
I push the “pause” button on this scene and hold still, without hearing the sound, without feeling the escape-urges.
Without the belief he’s over-sharing, I see someone eager and happy. I see joy and excitement. I feel the trust he has in me as a listener. I feel open, relaxed.
I also notice I can speak, myself. I can say “hold on there brother, you’re moving awfully fast, and I’d love to make a comment” if I actually want to.
I can even ask if he’s nervous.
Without the belief that it’s possible to share too much, or make a mistake around sharing, talking, announcing….
….then I notice I’m a fantastic listener. I’m hearing sound, words, expression all coming into my space and I’m delighted. I can also call it quits any time, without stress.
I turn the thought around:
He’s sharing just right, not too much. I’m sharing too much with all my inner commentary about sharing, and wanting to escape.
Can I find an example of how him sharing is lovely, a service, or easy (instead of intolerable or annoying or too much)?
Yes. He’s telling me about his life, his ideas, his inner world, his heart. He’s connecting with me. We’re joining through communication. How about I actually participate, and speak what’s true for me? What if I bring what’s true for me to this table, instead of hiding and believing I can’t?
What if every motor mouth I ever met is someone reaching out to connect, and I can reach back, with love? I might even make a suggestion we sit with each other in silence, if it feels right.
How could it be wonderful, that they share as they’re inspired? I notice it doesn’t harm anyone, and certainly doesn’t harm me.
I see the turnaround to myself, taking this friend and any talkative, sharing person out of it, is I share too much with ME. I’m constantly talking on the inside of my head about needing escape. I’ve been very noisy with myself on what I’m doing wrong, how I need to fix myself, and the need for improvement and change, or how I can’t sit still and listen to another human speak.
Maybe these people are matching the motor-mind I’ve had on the inside.
Drop the “maybe”.
Register for Wednesday’s Masterclass here.
Get the replay link for the recorded masterclass from August 9th here.
“My friends are always right. And I get to realize it or suffer….Until you love them unconditionally, your work’s not done.” ~ Byron Katie in Loving What Is
Much love,
Grace