This morning I had the thought “everyone in this house is sooooo lazy!”
No one puts their dishes in the dishwasher! No one vaccuums! No one cleans the bathroom! No one takes out the garbage! No one cleans their room! No one goes to bed early! No one hangs up their wet towels after showering! No one accomplishes ANYTHING! EXCEPT ME!!
Yup.
Sigh.
I started believing these thoughts…and could feel the energy of frustration surround me. I heard this mouth say “no one has done anything around here since I’ve been gone!” And I heard one absolutely dear and sweet person who lives here say he was working six hours yesterday on house upkeep (my husband).
I felt the attack towards what these eyes were seeing. MESS. And then how fast this voice moves towards blaming ALL THESE LAZY PEOPLE! (Not me).
Even if I don’t speak while believing these thoughts….the people I live with get that something is going on called “she is not pleased”.
And then, about as quickly as the stream of thoughts that are against the mess rise up, there is another viewpoint that is saying “are you sure this is unpleasant? are you sure this is bad? are you sure you don’t like what you see?”
How is it a good thing that this particular body and eyeballs take a look at the house and sees a mess that was made when I was away?
Who would I be without the thought that no one accomplishes anything around here, except me?
I would see the stunning accomplishment of each and every person who lives in this house. They are all alive, pulsing with life around me! Where did they come from? A husband, a daughter, a son.
Other humans, breathing, moving, talking, making sounds, laughing…Amazing!
I would see the miraculous abundance of things and stuff and furniture, dishes, laptop, computer wires, towels, glasses, dishwasher, sink, the new cherry red vacuum I bought two weeks ago.
Then very suddenly the house is empty and all those other humans have left for school and work and the place is silent, and this body moves around touching and wiping and vacuuming and sweeping and taking this item from here, and putting it there.
And then this mind, suddenly it seems, knows it was believing un-true thoughts for a minute. It knows there was resistance, fighting, anger, frustration. This mind that can question itself remembers, almost as instantly as the resistant feelings came in, that THIS moment is a teacher.
Why is it a good thing that I return home after being away, and notice that what needs to happen is cleaning?
Then this mind feels so grateful. And I begin to cry and sob, and I sit down on the couch and I write this for my daily Grace Notes inquiry, right now.
Tears streaming down my cheeks for being able to question that attacking mind that is so vicious, commanding, brutal. That mind that says NO ONE else does ANYTHING around this house! ONLY ME!!
This was war in a tiny eensy little moment….about dirty dishes and wet towels, apparently. That Mean Voice can turn housework into World War III.
And Inquiry then comes forward, on the tails of the Mean Voice that wants everything it’s own way and thinks it is the Ruler of the Universe….
“There’s something out of order on planet earth….and it’s NOT ME!” ~Byron Katie at The Mental Cleanse 2012
The amazing thing is that all of us are able to watch ourselves. We see ourselves do that critical thing, or get angry, or get sad, or terrified.
I wanted everything to be “in order” today so I could “have time” to do fifty thousand things I wanted to do….none of which were housecleaning, so I thought. Anxiousness was there before I ever got upset with mess. My MIND was messy before I even SAW the house mess.
Cluttered thoughts, busy, busy, great expectations, plans, speediness, hope, dreams, wanting to sit and finish my curriculum for a one-year program for the Addictive Mind that I’ve been working on for quite a long while now (as defined by the Big Boss Mind). Wanting to finalize the plans for the Pain, Sickness and Death class. Wanting to go to the gym. Faster, faster, faster, faster screams the mind!
I turnaround everything in this moment. The speed and pace that is happening in my life is just right. The plans I have are unfolding in just the right order.
The most important thing new is housework, de-cluttering on the physical level. Using this moment to de-clutter the mind.
I surrender.
“Just decide that no matter what the mind says, you aren’t getting involved.”~ Michael Singer in The Untethered Soul
I surrender.
“Seeing into the darkness is clarity. Knowing how to yield is strength. Use your own light and return to the source of light. This is called practicing eternity.”~ Tao Te Ching #52
Everything that was ever truly important is being accomplished around here, just for me.
My sanity. My awakening.
Thank you, family, for leaving the dishes and vacuuming in just that perfect state so that I could watch myself trying to be the Boss of the Universe, and choose peace instead of war.
Who knows what can come next….in such a friendly universe.
Much love, Grace
NEW! 2013 January Teleclasses! As always, please write if you need financial assistance. Click here to register for any of these classes online. You can also send an email to grace@workwithgrace.com if you’d prefer to mail a check or want to ask questions.
- Earning Money: What’s Your Problem? Questioning Your Beliefs About Money, Work and Business. Mondays, January 14-March 11, 2013, 6:30 – 8:00 pm Pacific time. 8 weeks $395. No class February 25th.
- Our Wonderful Sexuality: Untangling the Passion, Attraction, Love, Past Terrors, Future Worries, Fear, Confusion, Tenderness, and Joyful Intimacy. Tuesdays, January 8 – February 26, 2013, 6:30 – 8:00 pm Pacific time. 8 weeks $395.
- Horrible Food Wonderful Food: Healing the Love/Hate Relationship with Eating, Food, and Our Bodies. Thursdays, January 10 – February 28, 2013. 10:00 am – 11:30 am Pacific time. 8 weeks $395.
- Turning Relationship Hell To Heaven: Working With Painful Hate, Anger, Fury, Despair, Grief, or Disappointment With Someone You Know; Spouse, Mother, Sibling, Father, Daughter, Son, Boss, Neighbor, Friend. Fridays, January 11 – March 1, 2013 8:00 am – 9:30 am Pacific time. 8 weeks $395.
In Person workshops:
Horrible Food Wonderful Food Weekend In-Person Intensive Seattle January 12-13, 2013 Saturday 10 – 5:30, Sunday 1:30-5:30. $215. To register click HERE now and then send me an email grace@workwithgrace.com.
Mark your calendar for Breitenbush, the end of June 2013! We will be looking at all aspects of what we consider to be flaws in the body, and Un-doing our beliefs about them. Stay tuned if you’d like to join me and Susan Grace Beekman from June 26-30, 2013. You can change your internal beliefs about what you think bodies should be like….and change your entire experience of being in yours.
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