I’ll suffer when it happens, it’s going to hurt (+ Ten Barriers replay and YOI registration opens)

Have you ever had thoughts that sometime later, you’re going to suffer, hurt, be in a bad mood, feel unhappy….

….because of something about sleep going wrong?

More on that in a sec.

Before inquiry today….a huge thank you to all the people who attended Ten Barriers Online workshop this summer. If you asked about a replay, click right here to watch.

Please enjoy it and blessings on your inquiry journey. I hope it helps you if you feel discouraged or stuck. (And if it feels right, Year of Inquiry opens regular registrations today through Sept 8).

So about that sleep issue.

Three days ago, in the middle of my regular day working with clients, running errands, gathering for the Ten Webinars webinar for the last time….a thought snuck in.

I was thinking about my upcoming weekend.

It was Friday, but the very next day I’d be off to Bellingham, Washington about 1.5 hours north to see my daughter’s final theater production for the summer season (she’s studying stage management, and history, and getting extra college credit in both topics this summer).

After seeing the play in the evening, we’d head to her apartment, get her packed bags, and drive back home (1.5 hours on the freeway late at night) then sleep for 3.5 hours and wake up to alarms at 3:45 am to drive to airport and get her on a plane to Greece.

She’s never traveled alone before.

This feels like a major moment, as she’s paying for the entire trip herself. She’ll be earning credit for studying history in Athens for 3 weeks.

Wow.

But about that sleep thing.

The part where I said we’d be sleeping 3.5 hours at the most, then getting up again for more driving.

That’s the thought that entered my mind on Friday, about what it would probably feel like on Sunday.

I’ll be exhausted. Dizzy. Spacey. Crabby. Anxious.

A few hours after the thought entered my mind on Friday, a client came who said he hadn’t slept for 4 nights, experiencing huge wide-eyed anxiety in the middle of the night, feeling exhausted all day.

I suddenly remembered (with great fondness and appreciation) a lovely inquirer who joined the Year of Inquiry about 3 years ago from France who had agonizing sleep issues and really wanted to take them to The Work.

Sleep. Lack of it. We sometimes get very anxious about what it means, what will happen, what we’ll experience.

I’ll suffer.

My health is deteriorating.

I can’t join my friends for that hike in Turkey.

I’ll get fired from my job. 

I’ll get sick.

I’ll go crazy.

Time to pause and question the mind full of anticipation about what will happen in the future….And we can do this about anything, not just sleep.

In fact, we’re doing this same exercise right now in the relationships course (divorce/break-up) where we’re looking at what scares us about the future we’re expecting we’ll live as our lives unfold in a relationship transition.

What am I afraid of happening?

I’ll suffer. It will be uncomfortable. I’ll be afraid. I’ll underperform. It will hurt.

Is it true?

Yes. I have to have 7-8 hours of sleep to feel good (this is so not true for me, but the mind still thought it).

Can you absolutely know you’ll suffer and it will hurt—if you have interrupted sleep the way you’re expecting and planning?

No.

How do you react when you believe you’ll suffer or hurt….later. 

I start suffering and hurting right now.

I feel heightened worry. I have images of suffering in the future under those frightening conditions. I see previous times when sleep was less than desirable.

An image came to mind of me sitting on the closed lid of a toilet, florescent hotel bathroom light on overhead, writing frantically on a pad of paper. I was doing The Work. I didn’t want to wake my roommate.

Why was I awake? To do The Work apparently.

Who would I be without my thought that I’ll suffer, it will be hard, it will hurt…two days from now?

Laughing about how the mind loves to think it knows everything.

Sure, there’s likely scenarios. We can research, ask for help, seek understanding…but can I do this without suffering and imagining the worst? Can I treat my sleep predicament like a puzzle to solve, for fun even? Or like a ride I’m about to go on at an amusement park? Not with resentment, or fear?

Turning my thought around: when I sleep “badly” in two days, I will NOT suffer, it will not hurt. 

It might even be fun–wow! What if it was?

Well, I’m here to tell you right now….I did this very work when I was distressed briefly about it on Friday. I took the thought seriously. I didn’t say “oh who cares, I’ll be fine” and brush it off.

I sat and did this inquiry, and today when I’m sharing this with you (after the crazy sleep situation has already happened)….apparently I’ve slept 3.5 hours and rested another 1.5 with eyes closed and I feel absolutely nothing that is hard, hurting, or suffering. Despite what some would call a terrible night’s sleep.

This may not have been true, if I had not held still for 20 minutes and did this work in writing by myself the other day.

So grateful for the sweet experience of rest even in lack of sleep (apparently).

Can I know doing The Work is the thing that made this a non-issue today? No, I can’t absolutely know that.

But something inside me eased up. I found humor in sleep disruption, in preparation for it apparently happening on in the future…and then what I thought would occur in reality did not.

And now?

Time for a little afternoon nap.