Everything we think we know? Wow.

“All upset is in you, not in reality. All upset is in you, not in the world. Just understanding this, and no more, has changed lives 180 degrees. Reality itself is not upsetting, reality is not problematic. If there were no human mind, there would be no problems. All problems are created by the mind.” ~ Anthony De Mello

(Doesn’t Tony De Mello sound like Katie? He was a Jesuit priest who lived an extraordinary life and died in 1987).

So all problems are created in the human mind? But, what about when I broke my leg?

What about when my kids were on reduced lunch program because of such a lack of money?

What about when my friend was dying of cancer as I sat next to him on his death bed?

What about the ideal partner who isn’t here, and I’m all alone?

How about the divorce I endured 12 years ago? (By the way, we have room for only 2 more and the deadline for anyone joining is August 30th for our 8 session course. Read about it here). 

Back to this Grace Note. And inquiry.

For me, Grace Bell, very ordinary human being with stressful thoughts cascading through the mind.

I have been a believer with all my heart and body (well, OK, my mind) that I need someone’s love, I need more money or my business to succeed, I need my kids to be happy, I need my children to do it “right”, I need certain people to live, I need her (friend, family member) to connect with me….

….in order for me to be happy.

Well, all of us have had thoughts like these, and felt the effects of believing them.

But sometimes I think I know better, or should know differently by now.

(Is it true? LOL. No.)

I’ve had The Work though: the capacity to question my beliefs and the energy of thinking, the product of thinking.

And yet, some kind of plateau sometimes happens quite honestly–perhaps a gripping resistance around the brilliant and powerful question “Who would you be without your thoughts?”

So many times doing The Work.

And still, here we go again….

…..the first impulse, it seems, is that REALITY is responsible for upsetting me.

Not my own mind.

Oh no, it just couldn’t be that simple to sit with the meditation, to wonder about the answer to the question: “who would I be without my story?”

It seems there’s a cover story that says this, that the mind loops back to regularly.

The story sounds like this: “Once upon a time, something bad happened. It’s not in my mind….it’s the world, it’s circumstances, it’s that person that’s upsetting me! It’s the lack of money upsetting me! I have to work harder! And, it’s too scary or difficult to wonder what it would be like without this story!”

Who would I be without the deep, general, underlying, foundational-appearing perspective that something else–not this mind–is the source of the upset?

Who would I be without my upsetting thoughts?

Gasp.

You mean.

All these things I wish were here, and all the things I used to have that are gone (including people I love) and all the things that seem good to have like money, care, house, good livelihood, productivity, success, unexpected gifts, food, clothing, music, art, even insights/awareness, enlightenment….

….I might really imagine who I would be without needing these, in order to be happy?

Can we imagine it?

Is it so foreign? So impossible? So “hard”?

Look around right now.

Where am I sitting? A chair. It’s very quiet.

Sometimes, the mind will say “OK, if it’s not the world, then it’s ME that’s the problem!”

But that’s still thinking there’s something to blame, and I need to attack it or change it or get rid of it.

In the moment of this writing, the whole world is here, glowing, being itself. There’s even an apparent woman tapping on a laptop keyboard.

Without my upsetting thoughts that something is missing, or something is necessary in order to be happier (including me being different)….

….I’m automatically peaceful. Curious. Content.

Seeing that I’m the observer of All This.

“I” am not the woman, or the rug, or the thinking.

If you suddenly forgot about your Big Problems (you know the ones)….

….Who would you be without these stories?

A joyful sob enters my own throat.

It’s not just relief, it’s…..wonder.

Turning the so-called Problems around: I don’t need any of these things in order to be peaceful, or happy. Nothing is missing (except in my thinking).

TurnAround: It is my mind, a story (not even “my” story) that is creating my upset, worry, striving, dissatisfaction. Reality is doing what it does. It’s unfolding. Mind, thinking. No problem.

I suddenly see today this grip that sneaks in, the tantalizing, interesting idea that reality is unkind and I’m off the hook….(for about 2 seconds until I’m entirely to blame).

It can’t be me that’s been fooled, right?

No, no. It can’t be me who has gone to sleep, or felt the conditioning of stories from the past. Oh no!

Surely the problem is more complex than answering the question “who would I be without my troubling story right now?”

Is it safe to be without upsetting thoughts?

Woah.

Who would I be without the story I need to be upset? Ever?

And it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be upset, if I am.

But when I am (and like most of us, I’ve been upset about a bunch of things in little seizure-like moments)….

….Reality suddenly offers a memory, an image, an idea–from other people (like Anthony De Mello) or friends, from life, from even this mind….

….that says “wake up!”

It’s a brand new day! A new moment!

Starting now. And now.

We get up again, and take another step.

That’s why for me….Thank God Almighty or Reality Almighty or Awareness Almighty that I have this thing called The Work of Byron Katie as a gentle option to my stressful thinking.

It goes deeper, and deeper, and deeper….and I discover more about resistance, and emptiness, and suffering, and peace, and joy….

….every day I do The Work.

Which is why I’m thrilled to start the practice of The Work again, for the 11th time, in Year of Inquiry. (I said the 10th time, and then I just finally counted how many groups there have actually been, and this one will be the 11th–see what I’m like?)

People are already signing up, even though official registration opens Sept 2nd – Sept 8th. I am honored and thrilled with each person who elects to join this deep-dive practice in The Work and questioning our upset.

I’d really love to tell you that after 14 years of doing The Work, I feel free 100% of the time.

I get that in reality, I actually am free (except for the thoughts that say I’m not).

But the sensations and feelings within jump all about.

Drama, worry, nervousness, sadness, ruminating, anxiety. Concern about not knowing what will happen next.

I am right here with you.

And then so quickly the question arising, when I’m unhappy or worried….“is it true?” 

I see the way a story marches through the mental landscape to protect or warn, a conditioned way of seeing things.

The relief, then curiosity, then joy of wondering who I’d be without my story?

I love doing The Work with other people because they don’t get identified with my story.

All of us are a more objective observer for our fellow inquirers.

Right now, who would YOU be without your stressful story about your problems of what’s happened in the past, or what might happen in the future that hurts?

What if you were a bird? A tree? A chair? A human with a different perspective?

Noticing. Awareness. Awareness. Noticing. Awareness.

Now.

If you’re considering joining the Year of Inquiry, a group for regular practice all through an entire year, then you may like attending the two final free 90-minute online workshops I’m running this upcoming week: Ten Barriers That Derail The Work, and How To Dissolve Them.

Some of these barriers are exactly why I started Year of Inquiry–to address them through practice of The Work with others. No sudden realization required, just slowly whittling away at the repetitive thinking that life is hard, and suffering is inevitable.

The Ten Barriers workshops will be 90 minutes with the final 20 minutes devoted to sharing the outline of Year of Inquiry. To get notified of these two no-cost live workshops, sign up here. We’re meeting Tuesday 8/27 at 5:30 pm PT and Friday 8/30 at 9:00am PT.

If you want to jump immediately to a simple understanding of the outline of the year of inquiry, and what’s involved and included and how much it costs, then watch this 20 minute presentation here.

And today I’m sharing my latest podcast with you, an interview with a woman who participated in Year of Inquiry last year–she shares about her experience in simply doing The Work as a practice and how it affected her life step by step, month by month. (Thank you, Julie).

Listen to Peace Talk podcast interview right here.

Much love,