Do you act invisible, or tough? (Year of Inquiry starts next week).

I am getting so excited for Year of Inquiry I had to make a video to talk about it.

But before we go there….I wanted to share a most fascinating awareness that came to me today from speaking to a lovely inquirer who has done a lot of self-inquiry.

He said one thing he noticed in the mystery of life unfolding, with inquiry as a practice, was when he believed reality was frightening or unsuitable or troubling….

….he became either:

A) invisible, quiet, unnoticeable, or,

B) stronger than strong and very tough, rough, intense

I was touched by his awareness.

I’ve found the same two kinds of behaviors inside my own self.

Choice A as a strategy to deal with a difficult reality: Be invisible.

What does “invisible” look like? How do I react when I think “invisible” is safe?

Apparently, in many situations, this has been my strategy to deal with a frightening or difficult reality.

I lay low. I don’t speak out much. I avoid groups. I don’t raise my hand. I don’t yell. I stay at home. I’m super nice. I’m apologetic. I keep a low profile.

What about Choice B? Be tough.

I once knew someone who, when it came to physical appearance, she was very, very tough. Tattoos everywhere, body-building background, edgy mannerism and voice, sarcasm.

I’ve had the same tough energy in some situations. I’ve decided I’ll be tough, stand up firm, hold strong, maybe even refuse to communicate.

Yikes.

Both these strategies for “dealing” with life and reality appear to be fairly natural reactions to traumatic events, not getting needs met, suffering around emotions, not feeling safe to express ourselves.

What if we went back and sat with these experiences that have hurt or felt frightening….and “worked” them (asking the four questions)?

Where have you felt at odds with reality? At any point in your life?

That’s what The Work, for me, is for.

It’s for finding out where I decided life is too hard or scary. And questioning that.

As I’ve done this, I notice the strategies for dealing become neither A (invisibility) nor B (toughness) but instead….love.

Who would we be without our stories?

If you’d like to find out, you may love stepping into a whole Year of Inquiry. I love the energy, the group, the sincerity, the step-by-step way we move into The Work.

People who do Year of Inquiry and stay steady with it question their minds, hear fellow-travelers question theirs, make wonderful “work” partners, and find it is incredibly helpful in supporting us to actually DO The Work (rather than doing it in the car, and skipping to the turnarounds).

Members of Year of Inquiry also learn how to facilitate The Work well, through fairly rigorous practice of exchanging facilitations with someone else in the program every month.

Amazing to find what can happen with this kind of re-orientation towards life.

I invite you to come find out.

Much love,

Grace