Some of us have heard these words. About ourselves. Or someone we love dearly.
It’s cancer.
I’ll never forget my own moment, coming from the doctor’s lips, just after stitches were taken out from a biopsy on my leg.
The adrenaline coursed through my body like a geyser shooting through.
Instant fear.
I’m going to die.
I’m going to suffer.
This is terrible, hideous, sad, horrifying.
I knew it, I knew this would happen to me.
Fear, anger, wailing…all happening on the inside, churning around.
Are these thoughts true, though?
What happens when you believe these thoughts?
Agony, terrible visions, memories of my father dying. Visions of loss, emptiness, disappointment, suffering.
But who would I be without the whole big all-inclusive story called “cancer” and what it means when we have it, or when someone else has it?
What if it was not so frightening to die, or have someone we love die?
Can I notice the rush of feelings, and also wonder what I am without the belief “it’s cancer”?
If I didn’t have all the images, expectations, meanings, trauma associated with cancer….
….what would that really be like?
I noticed one minute, I am not thinking, and the next moment with two words, I am.
What made all the difference in the world from one second to the next?
Words. Thoughts. Feelings shooting off.
Without my story, I notice a kind doctor’s face telling me what’s next. I notice my body, strong, solid, alive, pain-free in that moment.
I notice the experiences of life come and go and come and go, just like people, just like all of us. Coming and going, all beautiful.
In Peace Talk Episode 170 this week, I got to have a beautiful conversation with Certified Facilitator Bethany Webb.
One thing we both have in common is hearing those two words “it’s cancer”.
Fortunately, we’ve also got something else in common: four questions and turnarounds.
Listen on audio only HERE.
Much love,
Grace
P.S. Winter (Retreat) is Coming! Join me and Tom Compton to share in six days of The Work online Dec 1-6. Bring your “worst” fears, worries, disappointments. Let’s do The Work. Read more here.