As I prepare for Eating Peace Basics 101 course coming up tomorrow June 24th on Wednesdays at 9am PT (info here) I’m struck by noticing in the world with all the unrest and uprising that there’s a fountain of energy bursting upward.
Energy bursting doesn’t mean it’s wrong, or bad, or horrible.
Fountains burst up, the geysers in Yellowstone National Park burst up, and we take photos and are awed by their splendor.
Groups of people burst out and march and stand for what they believe. It’s an energy to respect, whether you’re in the crowd or not.
I sure respect it.
Something important is happening. There’s energy rising.
Here it is!!Am I a part of the problem? Can I be an active part of the solution?
I notice I didn’t treat my compulsions in the same way, with respect and curiosity and self-inquiry….knowing something of importance was underway.
I used to have compulsions with food that were so intense it felt like I could do nothing but go through the whole binge-eating routine when I was inside the compulsion.
What if that cycle wasn’t wrong?
I know, I know.
That sounds crazy.
Who would want to suffer with such an intense energy, and allow it to live and be there, without argument?
Wouldn’t that be passive and neglectful and Not Standing Up For What I Want? Don’t I need to set boundaries or something?
What I love about an “addictive” process, like over-eating, is that it hurts. There’s no denying that.
It pointed me, kind of forced me basically, to look at my own mind and how I was thinking.
Perhaps that’s exactly what’s happening with uprisings, unrest, civil disorder, a transformation desired.
Change is longed for. Change is wanted. Change is dreamed of.
That’s what happens when someone becomes deeply tired or full of suffering about their own behavior.
At least it was for me. I wanted change.
It seemed like peace was somewhere other than with me.
But even when I didn’t feel it, I was built to already know what peace is.
I wanted it–I knew what it was!
We know when it appears NOT to be peaceful. We know, because we have an inner guidance system towards peace.
We know what peace feels like!
This is helpful to notice.
The thing is, the tricky mind which is so brilliant and quick often says “this is not it” so it makes plans and instructions to shut that WRONG way down with hatred, criticism, rules, rage, suffering or more efforting than ever.
Fight, fight, fight.
I am against What Is. Arguing with what is.
I did that over and over when it came to food and eating, and the episodes continued.
I tried to ignore them, destroy them, use willpower and violence to break them.
It did not work, ever.
(It also doesn’t work with other people, or groups of people, I notice).
It never occurred to me, until I sought help, to wonder what was going on internally that resulted in wild eating or wild thinking?
It certainly never occurred to me to allow it instead of argue with it.
But that is exactly where to begin.
Not arguing with reality.
Who would we be without our story of looking at something and claiming it is WRONG?!
Aware. Willing. Curious. Ready to learn.
Turning the thought around: I don’t need to fight this difficult predicament, this compulsion, this contentious person. I need to allow it all in. I need to let it be here. My thinking needs to fight this (haha, isn’t it always interested in a good fight)? I need to love this, connect with this, understand this. What if the compulsion cycle is “right”? What if it’s an attempt to “right” something, like a boat that’s been tipped over on the water?
What if that difficult experience is a reaching for connection and peace, in the absence (or the illusion of the absence) of both?
What if something is believed to be wrong…that is not actually wrong? Could I be missing something, with this thinking and believing mind?
If you’d like to explore the stories specifically that seem to fuel confusion when it comes to eating, food and weight….you may love the journey we’re about to begin tomorrow: Eating Peace Basics 101.
Question your thinking, and watch the weird eating behaviors, cravings, and off-balance patterns with food dissolve.
Join me for the inquiry, support and sharing. A great adventure.
Read more about each week and the topics and details here, and sign up to join me if you’re able.
For even more on this topic of inquiry and wild eating, watch my facebook live from yesterday right here.
May you find peace if you’ve felt torture with a journey, a relationship, a compulsion, your own mind.
Much love, Grace