I’ve just returned from five days deep in the woods of Breitenbush Hotsprings, Oregon. Tom Compton and I had the best time together sharing The Work. We loved the collaboration so much, we’re doing it again next year. Stay tuned for updates for Breitenbush June 2020.
One week from today on Thurs June 27th 7-9 pm, in Seattle at East West Books, a wonderful evening with The Work. $30, please register here. Can’t wait to meet you in person if you’re able.
Summer Camp for The Mind, an online group for doing The Work (beginners to experienced–everyone welcome) starts July 8th.Come to one, or all, live sessions. We meet online on a forum, we share a session live Monday-Friday (pick the days that work best for your time zone) and everything’s recorded so members can listen to any session as their own meditation in The Work. Read about the schedule and how Summer Camp works here.
Divorce is Hell: Is It True? begins again for 8 weeks starting Sunday August 18th 11 am PT. My friend and colleague Nadine facilitates this enlightening course with me, and we did sell out last time we taught it. Course ends 10/13. Register here.
And….my favorite. A Virtual Year of Inquiry. What a wonderful experience of getting to know others so deeply through sharing The Work together for an entire year online (retreats are an optional add-on). Just. Wow. Right now this month YOI is in our last month together before we all enter Summer Camp For The Mind in July, and I secretly hope every single person re-joins as a repeater, LOL. Read about Year of Inquiry which begins Sept 10th or 12th here.
Sometimes, I begin to get super excited just thinking about the summer unfolding, the activity and joy of camping, travel, weddings, outdoor concerts, evenings where its light until 10 pm….
….and the preparation for a new fall inquiry group who will share an adventure together for an entire year.
This has become the norm in my summer.
It didn’t feel that way at first.
I was anxious, looking on the calendar, feeling overwhelmed with the amount of things I needed to do: learn the technology, make the announcement, promote (ugh), share, offer, set up all the links and buttons so people could find out how to join and learn how to be in the forum.
The other day, I sat with an inquirer who was wanting to make something happen (get a job) and it reminded me of the dreadful feeling of responsibility for our survival, or our success, or what we believe is needed for happiness or comfort.
In my case several years ago, my list looked like this for the summer “plan”:
- I need participants
- I have a deadline
- I need to create a great webinar that helps people ‘get’ The Work and Year of Inquiry
- I must offer as much as possible every day, so people understand the value of doing The Work (virtual summer camp was born)
- this is a huge project
- this has to work
- I need to support myself and my kids (and the way it will happen is with the programs I offer)
- I need the money
Yes.
When I sat on my couch with a mortgage bill, and $10.16 left in my bank account, I felt sheer terror. I could hardly breathe. I mentally attacked the people who I believed was responsible for putting me into this position.
It was true. Bad things are coming, and soon.
But can you absolutely know it’s true that a crap result is right around the corner? Are you absolutely positive you’re in big trouble, or that your very life is threatened?
No.
I knew that not making enough money or having enough money to pay for my housing wouldn’t kill me. I knew that not having clients or customers, and taking the time to sleep, rest, do The Work, relax had to be OK.
I was aware I could relax WHILE looking for work. I could do the very best I could, and see where this went. I couldn’t guarantee any outcome, but I could know I did my best.
And I couldn’t in any way know what would happen in 2 weeks, or in the next Year of Inquiry group. No way to know any of this at all.
How do you react when you believe if you don’t do x, then something terrible will happen? How do you react when you think bad things are coming, and soon?
TERRIFIED!!
Images of lying on the sidewalk cold, shivering, dying, starving, homeless, lost, abandoned, needy.
For me, images of lying depressed in my mother’s basement, unable to stand up again on my own two feet. Images of never regaining the lifestyle I used to enjoy, the things, the opportunities, all the fun learning, the home, the creativity, the joy with my kids, the adventure, the social connections, the reasons to live.
Seeing myself as an elderly person who in the entire second half of her life never succeeded, who went on welfare and had to be supported by the state. Total failure. Bad mother.
A horribly depressing picture of the nearing future. Doomed.
But who was I without the thought that bad things are coming?
This is not about being in denial, like fake affirmations where I’m pretending a deadline doesn’t exist.
Without the belief “bad things are coming, and soon”….
….I notice this moment on the couch with $10.16 is very quiet, peaceful and supportive. I have a couch. I have a cottage. I’m breathing. I’m OK in that very moment. I even have two apples in the fridge and some canned food in the cupboards.
Without the thought of doom and gloom, I actually sit for awhile, and then I move. I’m listening to ideas in my mind that feel interesting or positive. I’m asking people for their ideas. I’m connecting, wondering out loud. I’m reaching out.
Without the belief in Impending Doom, I am very alive. Something kicks in like in the movie Apollo 13 “Houston….we’ve got a problem”. I look for my think-tank and my friends. I pool my resources. I go out.
All is not lost right now. This is not two weeks from now. This is today.
Not in denial. Responding to the circumstances. No complaints, just moving. Go.
Turning the thought around:
It will be wonderful, soon. Joyday is coming. (It is wonderful right now, happiness is here).
Why couldn’t this be just as true, or truer?
Without my thoughts about the future, this moment is actually brilliant. Peaceful, supportive, non-threatening. I can use determination and fired up energy to respond to what’s happening.
I hear Byron Katie’s voice saying, about a dire, threatening situation in the past; “Were you OK?”
I notice I’m here now, despite going through threatening and hard situations.
Turning my thoughts around again: my thinking will be terrible soon, only in my thinking is doomsday coming.
My thinking is actually terrible now.
But only my thoughts. I can live with terrible thoughts–so far they’ve never killed me. They are invisible, they are only inventions of imagined future. I can notice that right here what I see, touch, feel, sit with is much more peaceful than my thinking.
“Reality is always kinder than the story we tell about it. But only, always.” ~ Byron Katie
On my facebook live “show” this past Monday, I offered inquiry on nearly the same thought. Something terrible impending. Watch it here.
Love to hear about your adventures in believing something might very well go wrong, and noticing….
….it didn’t.
Share your experience with me, either on facebook or as a comment on Grace Notes on my website right here.
Inspiring to hear of The Work and freedom, and your share might help someone else who’s really scared right now.
Much love,
Grace
Wow, I can relate to this right now.
I’m a stay at home mom/artist who’s ex partner’s business went bankrupt suddenly. He was supporting us financially and now isn’t able to in the same way. I have a short amount of time to be able to increase my income substantially in order to support myself and 3 kids- who I have sole custody of. Right when summer holidays is starting.
It’s been very hard to not wake up in panic or be paralyzed by the fear of taking wrong action which equals me not taking any action.
I’m going to read this email SO many times over and inquire about it all.
Thank you, Grace.
Yes, so powerful to notice and watch the mind go into the future with extreme panic. Without the panic, you’re still moving and considering–what am I able to do here? What’s one thing I can do today? Who can I talk with about this and their suggestions? Blessings on your journey. I bet you will look back one day and feel grateful for this experience and what it brought (but OK you aren’t there yet)! Much love, Grace
this is a wonderful deconstruction of our “sky is falling” tendancy as humans. I know I have it …until i realized that I too have always been ok- through many many life situations.
but the mind always thinks…”yes but now this is different!”
we are all safe from the Inner…always were..always will be. but yes we have challenges on the outer.
thanks for gifting the world with your insights. they are much appreciated
p
So very welcome, thank you for your interesting comment. –Grace