Tomorrow evening, June 27th 7-9 pm at East West Books at 65th and Roosevelt in Seattle, come learn and do The Work of Byron Katie from start to finish. Register with East West Books right here (and OK to register at the door).
We’ll use the doorway of addictive or compulsive behavior to enter our inner work, if it applies: urges to escape, watch TV, eat, drink, smoke, clean, buy, acquire, hunt, seek, push.
Ay yi yi.
Those sensations of tumultuous behavior are so troubling, aren’t they?
Can’t we just get rid of those feelings altogether?
(What’s wrong with me)?
One of the first places to pause and notice, as we become open-minded inquirers once again, is our thoughts about feelings themselves.
Feelings. Emotions. Moods.
WHY??!!
I remember having mixed beliefs about feelings from a very, very young age. If you asked me when I was only about six what I thought about feelings, I might have said people who are super emotional or who cry are babies and people should “rise above” their feelings.
In other words, “feelings” are not good. Seriously. They’re not for grown ups, not easy, not acceptable.
Even overjoyed jubilation or happiness is a bit over the top. Let’s just keep an even-keel. No tipping over in the sail boat. Calm waters all the time. Poker face.
Right?
Late June where I live in the Pacific Northwest there’s light in the sky until 10 pm, some glorious bright days and lush green everywhere.
Then there are dark days, misty rain and chill. People refer to these as June-uary. Last Saturday and Sunday? June-uary. We got our jackets back out of the closet.
This is a bit like the way feelings move, our inner landscape.
Sunny, light and brilliant….dark, chilly, quiet.
Nothing wrong with that, in fact it seems to be a deeply human response, to have feelings, awareness, noticing.
And we wouldn’t say to nature: it must be sunny and bright with long days–all the time, never-ending.
But we often expect it of ourselves.
How do I react when I believe feelings are volatile, unacceptable and too moody, cold or unpredictable? How do I react when I want to get rid of them?
I hide away at home. I feel even more compulsive than ever, in an attempt to eliminate the feelings. I believe I should be able to control my feelings, and maybe even my own thoughts.
(Have you had the idea you’re in charge of your mind)?
Who would you be without the belief that strong feelings are dangerous, and you need to control yourself, your feelings, your mood, your thinking?
I noticed for myself, without the belief I need to control or even change what I’m thinking or feeling….I’m so much more open to what I feel, and think. I’m kinder.
I’m more compassionate.
I even get to wonder if it’s “my” feeling, “my” mood, or “my” thought?
Wow.
Turning the thought around: I don’t want to get rid of my feelings.They are acceptable, curious, wonderful, messengers.
I can let them be here.
Can I just let them be here?
Sigh.
Yes.
My feelings are brilliant, sharing, doing what they do. I am human. No need to change or alter or switch or fix the feelings.
Turning the thought around again: feelings want to get rid of me.
Are these feelings showing me a simple thought pattern? A stressful story?
Are they coursing through me and allowing me to notice a “me” that isn’t real, and also noticing there’s part of me just here, without concern (no matter what the weather)?
Are my feelings pointing to thoughts I might love to question?
In the moment of brilliant sun, OK. In the moment of cold chilly rain, OK. Snow, all is well. Fire, something carries on. Pain, something happens. Something continues.
Feelings, I notice, don’t stay at volume 10 forever. They come and go, and live and die. So do thoughts.
“When we look inside, we see that whatever we are is prior to thought. You were there before thought, you were there during the thought, and you are going to be there after thought….Start with what you feel….” ~ Adyashanti
What I notice is when I open up to my feelings and thoughts being just fine as they are, even *cough cough* good or OK, something within calms down.
I’m just here. Noticing what it could be like without believing a thought, or a feeling. Noticing, noticing, being.
I notice I experience peace, and the awareness that freedom is here–nothing is required.
Summer Camp for the Mind–a wonderful telesession program online for anyone in the world–starts soon, the week of July 8th. Read about the schedule and how Summer Camp works here. Join by sliding scale (suggested offering $150-$400 but you decide how many sessions you’ll be listening to whether live or on recording). No one turned away for lack of funds.
Let’s do The Work together, and find our enlightenment.
Much love,
Grace